While sitting down for lunch, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a man in spectacles, seemingly in his early 20’s. He seems generic enough, black hair, white shirt, brown eyes, jeans. That is until you spot the wings folded upon his back. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, almost dropping the clipboard in his arms with a greeting wave. “Got a minute?”
He smiles uneasily, fearfully laughin a bit. “Oh. I-I see. You’re busy. I’ll just come back in five, three minutes.” He pauses for minute, doing some math with his fingers. “Oh, that would be too late. I just need you to sign this paper. I kind of, sort of, messed up your death certificate.” He taps the clipboard, which shows a contract with a single dotted line at the bottom.
I eat the paper and say "What death certificate?" /Jk
“The… the one in your stomach?” They look at their now empty hands with slight confusion. “I-I’ll just make another.” A new clipboard appears in their hand.
"Oh, thanks! Is this all you can eat? And how much do I have to pay for this?" I eat the new one. "I prefer maple to oak wood. More flavor. Oak is fine though."
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
While sitting down for lunch, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a man in spectacles, seemingly in his early 20’s. He seems generic enough, black hair, white shirt, brown eyes, jeans. That is until you spot the wings folded upon his back. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, almost dropping the clipboard in his arms with a greeting wave. “Got a minute?”
He smiles uneasily, fearfully laughin a bit. “Oh. I-I see. You’re busy. I’ll just come back in five, three minutes.” He pauses for minute, doing some math with his fingers. “Oh, that would be too late. I just need you to sign this paper. I kind of, sort of, messed up your death certificate.” He taps the clipboard, which shows a contract with a single dotted line at the bottom.
I eat the paper and say "What death certificate?" /Jk
“The… the one in your stomach?” They look at their now empty hands with slight confusion. “I-I’ll just make another.” A new clipboard appears in their hand.
"Oh, thanks! Is this all you can eat? And how much do I have to pay for this?" I eat the new one. "I prefer maple to oak wood. More flavor. Oak is fine though."
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
"Ok, so it's most I can eat." I pop another in my mouth. "What's the threshold? 90%? 80? 75? And anyways, I don't have a pen on me. I ate it." Cause I'm composed of morning but mouths and eyes and flesh and possibly stomach acid, I start looking over it while talking.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
While sitting down for lunch, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a man in spectacles, seemingly in his early 20’s. He seems generic enough, black hair, white shirt, brown eyes, jeans. That is until you spot the wings folded upon his back. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, almost dropping the clipboard in his arms with a greeting wave. “Got a minute?”
He smiles uneasily, fearfully laughin a bit. “Oh. I-I see. You’re busy. I’ll just come back in five, three minutes.” He pauses for minute, doing some math with his fingers. “Oh, that would be too late. I just need you to sign this paper. I kind of, sort of, messed up your death certificate.” He taps the clipboard, which shows a contract with a single dotted line at the bottom.
I eat the paper and say "What death certificate?" /Jk
“The… the one in your stomach?” They look at their now empty hands with slight confusion. “I-I’ll just make another.” A new clipboard appears in their hand.
"Oh, thanks! Is this all you can eat? And how much do I have to pay for this?" I eat the new one. "I prefer maple to oak wood. More flavor. Oak is fine though."
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
"Ok, so it's most I can eat." I pop another in my mouth. "What's the threshold? 90%? 80? 75? And anyways, I don't have a pen on me. I ate it." Cause I'm composed of morning but mouths and eyes and flesh and possibly stomach acid, I start looking over it while talking.
‘By signing this contract, you agree to the ability to become deceased as the Fate department failed to catalog your death date’
While sitting down for lunch, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a man in spectacles, seemingly in his early 20’s. He seems generic enough, black hair, white shirt, brown eyes, jeans. That is until you spot the wings folded upon his back. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, almost dropping the clipboard in his arms with a greeting wave. “Got a minute?”
He smiles uneasily, fearfully laughin a bit. “Oh. I-I see. You’re busy. I’ll just come back in five, three minutes.” He pauses for minute, doing some math with his fingers. “Oh, that would be too late. I just need you to sign this paper. I kind of, sort of, messed up your death certificate.” He taps the clipboard, which shows a contract with a single dotted line at the bottom.
I eat the paper and say "What death certificate?" /Jk
“The… the one in your stomach?” They look at their now empty hands with slight confusion. “I-I’ll just make another.” A new clipboard appears in their hand.
"Oh, thanks! Is this all you can eat? And how much do I have to pay for this?" I eat the new one. "I prefer maple to oak wood. More flavor. Oak is fine though."
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
"Ok, so it's most I can eat." I pop another in my mouth. "What's the threshold? 90%? 80? 75? And anyways, I don't have a pen on me. I ate it." Cause I'm composed of morning but mouths and eyes and flesh and possibly stomach acid, I start looking over it while talking.
‘By signing this contract, you agree to the ability to become deceased as the Fate department failed to catalog your death date’
"Ok so I'm reading this closely, don't ask me how, and it seems like if I don't sign this I just become immortal, I wouldn't be a ghost cause I just don't die. I don't like misinformation. Immortality would suck after a while though..."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
While sitting down for lunch, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a man in spectacles, seemingly in his early 20’s. He seems generic enough, black hair, white shirt, brown eyes, jeans. That is until you spot the wings folded upon his back. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, almost dropping the clipboard in his arms with a greeting wave. “Got a minute?”
He smiles uneasily, fearfully laughin a bit. “Oh. I-I see. You’re busy. I’ll just come back in five, three minutes.” He pauses for minute, doing some math with his fingers. “Oh, that would be too late. I just need you to sign this paper. I kind of, sort of, messed up your death certificate.” He taps the clipboard, which shows a contract with a single dotted line at the bottom.
I eat the paper and say "What death certificate?" /Jk
“The… the one in your stomach?” They look at their now empty hands with slight confusion. “I-I’ll just make another.” A new clipboard appears in their hand.
"Oh, thanks! Is this all you can eat? And how much do I have to pay for this?" I eat the new one. "I prefer maple to oak wood. More flavor. Oak is fine though."
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
"Ok, so it's most I can eat." I pop another in my mouth. "What's the threshold? 90%? 80? 75? And anyways, I don't have a pen on me. I ate it." Cause I'm composed of morning but mouths and eyes and flesh and possibly stomach acid, I start looking over it while talking.
‘By signing this contract, you agree to the ability to become deceased as the Fate department failed to catalog your death date’
"Ok so I'm reading this closely, don't ask me how, and it seems like if I don't sign this I just become immortal, I wouldn't be a ghost cause I just don't die. I don't like misinformation. Immortality would suck after a while though..."
“Exactly! Mortals such as you aren’t built to live forever. Heck, you’re outliving your planned lifespans these days.” He suddenly covers his mouth. “Forgive me for cursing. Please sign the contract and this is all over with.”
Yep, shoots me 120 feet in the air, takes me out of the Planetar. I cast fly on myself and fly 60 more feet up (now 180 feet up)
My elephants move ten feet back then twenty feet forwards, and make 100 attacks in total
(Just gonna do 5 to hits and multiply the damage by 20)
If any attack hits, you are prone and they trample:
(X 10 cuz they only do it 1 time for each elephant. Make a DC 16 con save for each, if you succeed half damage):
164
182
188
166
164
To hit: 15 Damage: 318
To hit: 24 Damage: 295
To hit: 15 Damage: 306
To hit: 26 Damage: 303
To hit: 18 Damage: 302
And the gunners:
Gonna do 10 which means x5 for the gunners
To hit: 18 Damage: 7
To hit: 21 Damage: 11
To hit: 3 Damage: 7
To hit: 19 Damage: 5
To hit: 7 Damage: 7
To hit: 8 Damage: 4
To hit: 16 Damage: 10
To hit: 7 Damage: 10
To hit: 17 Damage: 6
To hit: 10 Damage: 10
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
(Bonus damage for the crit 8)
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
9
5
10
10
20
11
22
22
19
5
___________________________________________________
7
12
19
6
4
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
“No! No. It’s not. I just need your signature before you start choking. If I don’t have it, it becomes a whole thing where ‘oh no, no afterlife can have you and you’ll forever haunt the place you died’. I’m just trying to fix a mistake from accounting. Doesn’t even have to be your real name. Just one people call you often.”
Hi, I’m DrakenBrine, here’s my Sig and characters
I am The Grand Envisioner!
As soon as I fall to 0 HP I go to 1 instead and regain half my HP. Then I stand up and instead of fly I cast Cloud of Daggers 23
My allies still do their same actions.
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
"Ok, so it's most I can eat." I pop another in my mouth. "What's the threshold? 90%? 80? 75? And anyways, I don't have a pen on me. I ate it." Cause I'm composed of morning but mouths and eyes and flesh and possibly stomach acid, I start looking over it while talking.
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
Ah didn't see this sry! Bye!
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.
howdy fools
PM me TOMATO let the games begin
Thomas the train
Our Friend Bob
That is my oh so glorious nickname according to drummer
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/173323-barbarian-wars
Join our ranks
‘By signing this contract, you agree to the ability to become deceased as the Fate department failed to catalog your death date’
Hi, I’m DrakenBrine, here’s my Sig and characters
I am The Grand Envisioner!
ello
PM me TOMATO let the games begin
Thomas the train
Our Friend Bob
That is my oh so glorious nickname according to drummer
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/173323-barbarian-wars
Join our ranks
llo
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
"Ok so I'm reading this closely, don't ask me how, and it seems like if I don't sign this I just become immortal, I wouldn't be a ghost cause I just don't die. I don't like misinformation. Immortality would suck after a while though..."
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
“Exactly! Mortals such as you aren’t built to live forever. Heck, you’re outliving your planned lifespans these days.” He suddenly covers his mouth. “Forgive me for cursing. Please sign the contract and this is all over with.”
Hi, I’m DrakenBrine, here’s my Sig and characters
I am The Grand Envisioner!
Didn't you say I was prone?
My allies still do the same thing though.
Sig but long ^w^
Gulpmissle Day, Saturday, Feburay 15th, 2025
💛🤍💜🖤 🩷💛💙
Salem has dubbed me Fellow Pancake of The Fox.
Henlo, I am a pan, NB, chaotic ADHD mess of a furry.
I am also a eepy eeper, who likes WoF, WC, and fire.