At first it was a small thing. A one-time action. How could it have gone wrong? But then they kept asking for it. The water was so good. The buckets after buckets. Oh they would come from miles to get water. And it was all so tiresome. So what did you do? Well of course you had to team up with the local glassblower to start making bottles you could sell. Something that could be transported so you didn't have keep travelling around all over the place or having people come up to water. And that's when the trouble began. Because no single glassblower could do everything, so of course you needed to hire more. And this led to an increased demand in sand and well the glassblower's couldn't keep up with the scale of inventory they were needing to keep up with to create all these bottles for all the water you were making. So you hired an underling to be in charge of the shipping. But now the bookkeeping was getting to a bit much for just yourself so you hired Johnny to be an account to handle all that stuff.
But another funny thing happened, you were getting big name recognition for all your bottles of water. But you only had so many spell slots in a day. So it was getting to be a bit much for just yourself to take care of making everything so what's one more cleric? Well more water, more bottles, better supply. The business kept growing. More clerics needed to make more water. More glassblowers to make the bottles. Johnny's accounting was getting big so of course he needed more underlings. It just made sense to expand to managing delivery of raw materials and finished products within the company. Liaisons were needed to set up deals with local markets and vendors. Lawyers had to take care of the legal aspects. One thing leads to another and you're a major corporation in the world even though you never asked for it. The press starts to see you as a celebrity even though you never asked for this.
Life is busy beyond all control. And it's because you just had to cast create water.
The DM resolves the effect of the spell without reading its description, and all the water walks away from you.
A drought ensues in the local region, and it's all your fault. Thank the gods that your water company from earlier is around - otherwise you would have just doomed a village. Instead, you've made yourself richer because of supply and demand. So, is it really a backfire? I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, going along with the water theme, I cast Fog Cloud.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Panda-wat (I hate my username) is somehow convinced that he is objectively right about everything D&D related even though he obviously is not. Considering that, he'd probably make a great D&D youtuber.
"If I die, I can live with that." ~Luke Hart, the DM lair
You know what! lets try and keep the water company joke rolling as far we can!
unfortunately you don't conjure up fog in stead the air just got really humid and made lots of condensation to which further increased the Water Company's production
Casting Detect Magic on a bottle of ClericPure(TM) Water is a violation of ClerciPure(TM)'s Intellectual Property Rights. You are inundated with subpoenas from their lawyers and sued into poverty.
I know that "ClerciPure" was a type, but it looks more like a company name than "ClericPure," so that's what we're calling it from now on. ClerciPure™ Divine Water - "Creating water and destroying excessively high bottled water prices since 10 posts ago."
Anyway, as for absorb elements: You absorb too much fire. You absorb so much fire that you burst into flames. It's pretty cool at first - everything you touch meets a flaming doom. However, you ARE technically, as per the rules for effects with a range of touch, touching yourself at all times. Ouch.
I cast Distort Value. With the ClerciPure™ joke going on, I have a feeling that this will be good.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Panda-wat (I hate my username) is somehow convinced that he is objectively right about everything D&D related even though he obviously is not. Considering that, he'd probably make a great D&D youtuber.
"If I die, I can live with that." ~Luke Hart, the DM lair
Anyways, at first things are going fine. You're making more money. Life is good. But then the brokers take a look at the accounts and they realize something: The stocks, while valuable, aren't that valuable. Panic sets in. "Sell! Sell! Sell!" they scream. The massive selloff of ClerciPure stocks sends the market into a downward spiral. Soon it's crashed. The economy is slumping and without the disposable income for luxury items, ClerciPure begins losing some of the market. You're looking at your mansion wondering if you'll be able to keep when a carriage rolls up. Two bugbears get out and stand guard, looking for signs of trouble. Then a carpet is rolled out and a short little goblin says, "Well hello there, perhaps I could offer an investment in your company for some shares?" There's a smile on his face as he speaks. And you're looking for anything to get out of the rut. So of course you say yes. But just like that you're no longer a sole owner, but a partner.
You forgot that you were a dinosaur.
I cast Prismatic Spray
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
you accidentally reflect all of the rays at yourself. you take 80d6 total damage
I cast heal
Your enemy is healed
I cast Water Breathing
...why? You're a Locathah.
I cast Control Flames
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
You gave your fire genasi friend a new haircut
I cast ]Shape Water]
Your DM misheard you and instead of shaping water your party-members decided to watch The Shape of Water.
I cast Suggestion
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
You suggest a course of action to your unruly party members. They listen to you but still throw it out the window
I cast Create or Destroy Water
At first it was a small thing. A one-time action. How could it have gone wrong? But then they kept asking for it. The water was so good. The buckets after buckets. Oh they would come from miles to get water. And it was all so tiresome. So what did you do? Well of course you had to team up with the local glassblower to start making bottles you could sell. Something that could be transported so you didn't have keep travelling around all over the place or having people come up to water. And that's when the trouble began. Because no single glassblower could do everything, so of course you needed to hire more. And this led to an increased demand in sand and well the glassblower's couldn't keep up with the scale of inventory they were needing to keep up with to create all these bottles for all the water you were making. So you hired an underling to be in charge of the shipping. But now the bookkeeping was getting to a bit much for just yourself so you hired Johnny to be an account to handle all that stuff.
But another funny thing happened, you were getting big name recognition for all your bottles of water. But you only had so many spell slots in a day. So it was getting to be a bit much for just yourself to take care of making everything so what's one more cleric? Well more water, more bottles, better supply. The business kept growing. More clerics needed to make more water. More glassblowers to make the bottles. Johnny's accounting was getting big so of course he needed more underlings. It just made sense to expand to managing delivery of raw materials and finished products within the company. Liaisons were needed to set up deals with local markets and vendors. Lawyers had to take care of the legal aspects. One thing leads to another and you're a major corporation in the world even though you never asked for it. The press starts to see you as a celebrity even though you never asked for this.
Life is busy beyond all control. And it's because you just had to cast create water.
I cast Ray of Frost
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
Wow that is the best backfire I've read XD
The suns rays are now chilly
I cast Wall of Water
You conjure a ray fish which is frozen solid, it falls to the ground and shatters.
I cast Web
WEUW! I LIKE BEANS
Thanks. :)
Instead of repelling your enemies, they go surfing.
I cast Animal Friendship
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
The animal rubs up against you. It has poisonous skin.
I cast creation
i am a human being.
You've just created THE BBEG you are now sentenced on death row. good job your now the BBEG's origin story
I cast Water Walk]
The DM resolves the effect of the spell without reading its description, and all the water walks away from you.
A drought ensues in the local region, and it's all your fault. Thank the gods that your water company from earlier is around - otherwise you would have just doomed a village. Instead, you've made yourself richer because of supply and demand. So, is it really a backfire? I guess we'll never know.
Anyway, going along with the water theme, I cast Fog Cloud.
Panda-wat (I hate my username) is somehow convinced that he is objectively right about everything D&D related even though he obviously is not. Considering that, he'd probably make a great D&D youtuber.
"If I die, I can live with that." ~Luke Hart, the DM lair
You know what! lets try and keep the water company joke rolling as far we can!
unfortunately you don't conjure up fog in stead the air just got really humid and made lots of condensation to which further increased the Water Company's production
I cast [Tooltip Not Found]
you take 500 damage due to shortage of tooltips
I cast detect magic
Casting Detect Magic on a bottle of ClericPure(TM) Water is a violation of ClerciPure(TM)'s Intellectual Property Rights. You are inundated with subpoenas from their lawyers and sued into poverty.
I cast Absorb Elements
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
I know that "ClerciPure" was a type, but it looks more like a company name than "ClericPure," so that's what we're calling it from now on. ClerciPure™ Divine Water - "Creating water and destroying excessively high bottled water prices since 10 posts ago."
Anyway, as for absorb elements: You absorb too much fire. You absorb so much fire that you burst into flames. It's pretty cool at first - everything you touch meets a flaming doom. However, you ARE technically, as per the rules for effects with a range of touch, touching yourself at all times. Ouch.
I cast Distort Value. With the ClerciPure™ joke going on, I have a feeling that this will be good.
Panda-wat (I hate my username) is somehow convinced that he is objectively right about everything D&D related even though he obviously is not. Considering that, he'd probably make a great D&D youtuber.
"If I die, I can live with that." ~Luke Hart, the DM lair
Another possibility: CleriPure
Anyways, at first things are going fine. You're making more money. Life is good. But then the brokers take a look at the accounts and they realize something: The stocks, while valuable, aren't that valuable. Panic sets in. "Sell! Sell! Sell!" they scream. The massive selloff of ClerciPure stocks sends the market into a downward spiral. Soon it's crashed. The economy is slumping and without the disposable income for luxury items, ClerciPure begins losing some of the market. You're looking at your mansion wondering if you'll be able to keep when a carriage rolls up. Two bugbears get out and stand guard, looking for signs of trouble. Then a carpet is rolled out and a short little goblin says, "Well hello there, perhaps I could offer an investment in your company for some shares?" There's a smile on his face as he speaks. And you're looking for anything to get out of the rut. So of course you say yes. But just like that you're no longer a sole owner, but a partner.
I cast Conjure Elemental
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
You immediately lose concentration, and the elemental destroys the whole party
I cast shield