A lot of the posts here from people trying to understand and help. They care. I have family members diagnosed on the spectrum; Aspergers although my understanding is that term is not commonly used anymore. Coupled with anxiety and depression.
It sucks.
D&D has been helpful for them in connecting to others. As I said before, I’m worried about you. I hope things get better for you. I also hope that you are seeing a therapist, or will consider it if you aren’t.
A friend of mine has quite pronounced autism*, and a close family member is on the spectrum, if not quite so deep. I have definite autistic tendencies, and depression in addition to being mildly sociopathic (I use the term 'mildly' as it's mostly passive.) I know I am not alone on this forum.
So to say nobody here cares, or that we are being toxic, shows more about your mindset than ours. I think that you have to accept that your autism is a part of the problem. People with mental issues of any kind are usually not easy to be around. I know I'm not. People will make allowances, but it is up to you to make the most effort; friends will make allowances, strangers will assume you are being deliberately rude. One day I am going to watch Big Bang Theory, just to find out who this Sheldon character is and whether I should be insulted when being compared to him.
When I have to deal with people, I fall back on DMing skills and portray an NPC who is actually happy to see them. Unless they are close friends or family, I probably am not happy to see with them, or be forced to interact with the idiots I share the planet with. The strange thing is, sometimes interacting with these people is not as bad as I thought and if I am not careful I sometimes find that they do have something interesting to add to my existence. I am astounded with my fondness for internet forums. :) Roleplaying is a skill. Big (mega!) corporations spend a lot of money on getting reluctant staff to do it in training sessions. It's generally not because they need a fifth player at their gaming table. Sometimes roleplaying is the set of skeleton keys that unlock parts of life that you have shut away.
Toxic communities of nerds? Maybe, but I have come to the conclusion that most people just don't give a damn about you or your problems. That's fair, I mostly don't care about theirs. Or maybe I'm wrong, and I am just pasting my view of the world onto them - we do that a lot, us humans.
But I, and others, have reached out to you, in a spirit of friendship fostered by a joint love of D&D. You may have an uphill struggle ahead of you, and the peak will probably be obscured by clouds if you ever reach it, but that doesn't mean you should give up. The solutions offered are not easy, not perfect, probably not even close to what you want (D&D via skype? Yeah, it's a shadow of face to face interaction with beer and pizza, but it's better than another evening of whatever it is that you want to take a break from.) Perhaps the people suggesting these things DON'T understand you, but that doesn't mean their advice isn't generous or worth considering.
To continue to suggest this community doesn't care starts to look like someone is trolling. If that is the case, then I hope this post is useful to others with genuine problems. I found writing it to be helpful to me. Maybe that's what I love about forums; it is self-help that I can actually undertake.
*how pronounced? Read his book, Surviving the Hydra, available on Kindle. There are no actual hydras unfortunately, it is just his word for what he suffers. It's not a great book; he refused to exaggerate events! Also he doesn't play D&D (God forbid, there is no way I could put up with that!** I'd pay good money to watch someone else try though :) )
**If he isn't talking, he isn't listening. And if he is listening, what he hears is what he expects the other person to say. It is massively frustrating. His name, appropriately enough, is an anagram of Mingles Loudly.
As I said, no one understands, nor can they, let alone care to. I regret coming here.
As others have already stated, it does sound like you may need to address whatever underlying problems are stopping you from leaving the house, and from making any friends, before trying to find a D&D group in a difficult neighborhood.
To everyone who has posted in this thread, this is what makes this particular Dungeons and Dragons community so special. The consistently positive replies, offering useful advice and heartfelt support is excellent.
WH2212, I have no idea what support systems are available in the States, or the best ways to try leaving the house and making friends, but Meetup has been a website that I have seen being successful in the past. It may be easier to make friends and introduce them to D&D than to find a D&D group. And if you are not wanting to be defined by your disability, don't let it be an excuse to yourself for not making friends. Making and keeping friends involves active effort and occasionally hard work or sacrifice.
Dude, stop being so dismissive of what we say. We're trying to help you, and all you're doing is acting like we know nothing. Can I have some information on how toxic the local community is? What have they done?
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
A strict fact that your place is far worse then a prison and that 100% of the whole population is psychopaths, deviators and worse... Sorry we just dont buy that view. From what ive seen and experienced... Yes some people are toxic... But for each 1 that is there is one other in the place that is care giving.
I too think the problem might just be your view of your world. Id say start by being more optimistic. I know its hard... But it does bring more joy to yourself.
@plundered_tomb sheldon cooper is a genius with too many tocs that refuses to change his world. Its the world that must conform to him. He has his place and if anybody take it he cry. That said he learns a lot from the people around him. Those that actually stay with him and wonders why every day. The actor said he knows the character is not having asperger... But he portrays it as such ! As for me saying it reminds me of sheldon... I was speaking of wh, not you ! Because wh seems, like sheldon, not to see the world around him. He just assume the world is like that.
DM of two gaming groups. Likes to create stuff. Check out my homebrew --> Monsters --> Magical Items --> Races --> Subclasses If you like --> Upvote, If you wanna comment --> Comment
Play by Post Games --> One Shot Adventure - House of Artwood (DM) (Completed)
I live in one of the worst places to live in the United States, what more do you people need?
Living in a crappy place doesn't mean that the community is toxic. I would like some examples of toxicity, and it feels kinda like you are dodging our questions.
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
It's very hard to explain how it is to live in Kentucky, and one of my few skills is writing. Unless you've lived here, you'd think my complaints are hyperbole. They are not.
It's very hard to explain how it is to live in Kentucky, and one of my few skills is writing. Unless you've lived here, you'd think my complaints are hyperbole. They are not.
But it IS hyperbole.
Are you really saying that you, a person who has admitted to poor social skills and social disorder, have interviewed millions of people and found every single one to be dealing drugs and/or religious zealots with nothing else to their personalities or natures beyond the drugs and religion and not a single one played D&D?
Bullshit.
Firstly even drug dealers and religious zealots may not be super evil bad toxic people - humans have layers, more than one facet to them. And neither of these stops them liking D&D.
Secondly there are nice people in Kentucky who are fans of Critical Role D&D show and have shared artwork, heartwarming stories and details of their gaming adventures with the "Critter" community.
Thirdly there are lots, I mean lots, of D&D groups in Kentucky. Many boards, forums, chats and meetup.com requests for kentucky pop up on a 2-second google search. Try a bit harder to go through the searches, ask about, I'm fairly certain there's one you can get to.
Can't go? Don't want to? Then go online. Seriously, an entire world of eclectic people including people in the exact same situation as you use online services to overcome the issues and play D&D. You are not the first person with Asperger's or autism using online services to play D&D. I've played with them on Roll20. So if they can, why can't you? There are some ******** online but also people who are kind and fully understand.
You have labelled millions of people as drug dealers and zealots without knowing them. Some may be these, but you are defining them as these labels not as people. Either way you disrespected them. And you come on here asking for advice and people have taken their time to provide you help, the best they can, and you have the audacity to spit it back in their face saying they don't care? Dick move, man. And no you don't get to hide behind "Asperger's" because, sorry, it doesn't work like that. I've helped students with mental health barriers, I've had friends with it, and played games with others across the world thanks to Roll20. One of those students was worse off than you. Severe mental problems, partial paralysis, and was literally dying bit by bit. Still he was able to make time for his favourite tabletop games.
You say we don't care. We do. Some of us have been through similar things. Some of us have been through far worse. We sympathise, we care. Do not insult us by saying otherwise. That is not fair. If we didn't care, we wouldn't be replying to you, would we? Even I care, my tone is harsher because the kind approach others give seems lost on you, but I still care otherwise I wouldn't bother with you. I'm typing all this, at 4am, because I want to help.
You say we don't understand. We do, in fact some of us understand better than you do. That's why we know there are solutions. You're choosing to ignore us. You do have options. They are not easy options. But they are options. If you want to ignore them that's up to you, but don't disrespect us and waste our time by saying we don't understand because we do.
So let's simply this:
1. Your Asperger's is irrelevant. Sorry, but it is. I know it is a barrier. But there are organisations in Kentucky, for all America, and for the whole world who are specifically dedicated to helping people with this condition and providing tools to overcoming this and they work. You can also have traditional help as well through therapists. There are means to overcome this barrier - use them.
2. Stop blaming your community. You've seen almost none of it, blaming them for your choices. Grow up and stop it. There are nice people, and gamers, in basically every ******* town in the world because strange as it may seem even being nice is also part of being human. We're a varied bunch. There is no "and people in this street are all one type, and on this street they're another" - humanity does not work like that. There are nice people near you, there are people who understand you near you, there are people in the same boat as you, find them. Stop hiding in your home blaming them when you're the one not trying to reach out. I know it is hard. I know it is frightening. Better than being trapped though, right? Put up flyers, ask the stores, ask random people, check colleges for interest in clubs, put out advertisement, use facebook or other social media, check game stores. You'll meet idiots and ********, sure, but you will eventually find people who are good and will want to play.
3. Go online. The entire world is open to you. Every type of person, every background, everyone who is nice and everyone who is bad and millions and millions of gamers who either play D&D or would be interested. They are all available for contact. There are services like Roll20 where you can find groups, message forums, chats, and more where you can gather interest, then play on a virtual table top or use Skype or Discord or all sorts of platforms. Is it ideal? No. But you will be successful at some point. You can even try play-by-post games right here on dndbeyond.com. There are forums there to specifically look for people to play with through various mediums. Go try. It doesn't hurt to try it. You have nothing to lose, so just do it.
4. Help yourself. Other people can only do so much. The only person who can truly solve your situation is you. This is probably the most difficult and I fully understand that it is. I've been through a lot. Multiple times my life has taken such a nose dive that suicide plagued my every thought. Finding energy to come back again, and again, to climb over hurdle after ******* hurdle is the most terrifyingly daunting task when you view it ahead of you. Nobody can inhabit you and push on for you. Even when loved ones are trying to be there you still feel alone. I know this, believe me. But you have to find that drive in yourself. Set little goals each day. Take it step by step. One day make the goal to make a facebook group page, perhaps. The next goal for the next day invite friends you might have. Next day, make flyers for the page. Day after, maybe go to a cafe or game store and ask to put it in the window or up somewhere. Worst they can do is say no but the point is you made that attempt, you jumped that hurdle. The goal was to go and ask, and you achieved it. Take those small victories and pile them up. You'll get a momentum going and with that you can do a bit more, and then a bit more. Somewhere along the way you will find people. Not everyone is going to be to your liking and you may not be to theirs but you don't have to be. Eventually you will start finding people you may be able to play with. Even if you may not become "friends" you still get to play and that can lead to other games, other groups and other people. It's possible. Take your time, and work on it.
5. Get help from others. That drive to do better and get what you want from life starts with you but you don't have to do it alone. There is a whole worldwide community of D&D players who like to help each other and they have all kinds of expertise and experiences that can help. You can try your therapist. As one poster said talk to them about your interest in D&D as a means of helping you overcoming your barriers. Did you know there are D&D groups and tabletop-orientated organisations as well as documentaries and articles all specifically about how games like D&D help mental health? There are videos on Youtube about it. Go look it up, it's fascinating. There are actual psychological studies and surveys devoted to this concept and how it works. Your therapist may actually be able to assist you in finding groups specifically catering to those who have struggles with anxiety, autism or similar, or depression (which it sounds like you have). Worth a shot.
The help we can provide on a forum will be limited, but we will do what we can. If, that is, you're willing to try and stop insulting us. Your outlook is cynical, I understand why, but you will have to try and compromise on that - it is stopping you from seeing the help and hope that is being offered and you're missing out. Give it a try. But, as I said, you have to be willing to help yourself first.
There's nothing more I can say. I only hope you will listen and take our advice.
As I said, none of you can nor will understand. You can't. I've lived in the same place my entire life. Trust me, people here are either trying shove God up your ass or are trying to shove some Xanax and a syringe of heroine in there. The few friends I had were only my friends because they had to talk to me at school. After that, everyone I knew threw me away and stabbed me in the back. My mental health at one point was so bad that I had to drop out of college and come home. People here are only nice if you fit in to their antiquated and backwards niches of "humanity". If not, they are brutal and terrible. The closest small city is more than twenty miles away. You think I'm gonna walk all the way to one of the three game stores in that city?
Everything in your post has already been covered. If you are going to reply please have the courtesy to read it our posts first. We read yours so it's only fair.
Either that or you're deliberately choosing to ignore what we say, in which case you are beyond anyone's help.
It's very hard to explain how it is to live in Kentucky, and one of my few skills is writing. Unless you've lived here, you'd think my complaints are hyperbole. They are not.
I have lived in Kentucky, and I must say that it is not as bad as you make it out to be. No offense, but I feel like you are using excuses to justify you not playing instead of solving the problem.
Also, I find your oversimplification of the local people as "religious zealots and drug dealers" is just unfair. People are different. You can't lump anyone into a single group. For example, if I met a person who dislikes DND, Would it be fair to call them a RPG-hating Loser?
These are just points to dwell on. Please have a good day and I hope you seek out resources to help with your depression. Before my mother passed, I fell in deep depression because her condition was deteriorating and no one knew whether or not she would pass. I talked to a local counselor and she helped me cope.
For the final time, I implore to seek help. You will feel better once you do.
I read the whole damn thing. It doesn't matter. I've ceased wanting any help from any of you(especially guys like Cyb3rM1nd), as none of the presented "solutions" can work, especially with my current circumstances.
I read the whole damn thing. It doesn't matter. I've ceased wanting any help from any of you(especially guys like Cyb3rM1nd), as none of the presented "solutions" can work, especially with my current circumstances.
You have been vague about your circumstances. This is what you have explained; You Live In Kentucky, which to you is a terrible place; You are "surrounded by religious zealots and drug dealers."; You have Aspergers, which hinders your ability to find groups.
We have offered many solutions that fit your parameters, yet you scoff it off. We try to help, but you are not open for the changes that comes with this help. You expect everyone to conform with how you think, which is impossible. No one has the same thoughts as you. You must be open to others and not expect everyone conform to you.
Your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is open.
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Hi. I'm a 14 year old student looking to play D&D. If you don't have a problem with me, I would gladly join your session!
The closest small city is more than twenty miles away. You think I'm gonna walk all the way to one of the three game stores in that city?
Yes. Or bicycle (or other man-powered transportation), or Uber (or other hired car service).
Alternatively, you could acknowledge that the obstacle is not the distance you live from a gaming store, but that your desire to participate in a game is not high enough to motive you to take action (of any kind, if this thread is accurate evidence).
And then maybe you could confront your real choice here: keep on with the useless negative, complaining, defeatism; or do what it takes to get what you want.
Alright, speaking as an autistic individual with a myriad of other personal issues that makes it difficult for me to be comfortable enough with leaving my house for longer than an hour or two at most, you've got to realize that if you want something you're sometimes going to have to make sacrifices and force yourself out of your comfort zone to get it. For me, if I wanted to play a game, I've chosen to go online to do it since the nearest gaming store is like... 30? 45? minutes away and I would just be a miserable little gremlin to have to hang around if I tried forcing it. And I've accepted that.
In your case since you know that the people currently near you aren't the type of people you're wanting to play with, this leaves either 1) having to go elsewhere and look, or 2) going online. Those are literally your only options, and if you're not willing to take any of those options, I'm honestly not sure we can help.
I read the whole damn thing. It doesn't matter. I've ceased wanting any help from any of you(especially guys like Cyb3rM1nd), as none of the presented "solutions" can work, especially with my current circumstances.
In case you change your mind about not wanting anyone's help can you detail specifically why the solutions wouldn't work?
A lot of the posts here from people trying to understand and help. They care. I have family members diagnosed on the spectrum; Aspergers although my understanding is that term is not commonly used anymore. Coupled with anxiety and depression.
It sucks.
D&D has been helpful for them in connecting to others. As I said before, I’m worried about you. I hope things get better for you. I also hope that you are seeing a therapist, or will consider it if you aren’t.
Legendary Bundle ~ Master Tier
A friend of mine has quite pronounced autism*, and a close family member is on the spectrum, if not quite so deep. I have definite autistic tendencies, and depression in addition to being mildly sociopathic (I use the term 'mildly' as it's mostly passive.)
I know I am not alone on this forum.
So to say nobody here cares, or that we are being toxic, shows more about your mindset than ours.
I think that you have to accept that your autism is a part of the problem. People with mental issues of any kind are usually not easy to be around. I know I'm not. People will make allowances, but it is up to you to make the most effort; friends will make allowances, strangers will assume you are being deliberately rude. One day I am going to watch Big Bang Theory, just to find out who this Sheldon character is and whether I should be insulted when being compared to him.
When I have to deal with people, I fall back on DMing skills and portray an NPC who is actually happy to see them. Unless they are close friends or family, I probably am not happy to see with them, or be forced to interact with the idiots I share the planet with. The strange thing is, sometimes interacting with these people is not as bad as I thought and if I am not careful I sometimes find that they do have something interesting to add to my existence.
I am astounded with my fondness for internet forums. :)
Roleplaying is a skill. Big (mega!) corporations spend a lot of money on getting reluctant staff to do it in training sessions. It's generally not because they need a fifth player at their gaming table. Sometimes roleplaying is the set of skeleton keys that unlock parts of life that you have shut away.
Toxic communities of nerds? Maybe, but I have come to the conclusion that most people just don't give a damn about you or your problems. That's fair, I mostly don't care about theirs. Or maybe I'm wrong, and I am just pasting my view of the world onto them - we do that a lot, us humans.
But I, and others, have reached out to you, in a spirit of friendship fostered by a joint love of D&D.
You may have an uphill struggle ahead of you, and the peak will probably be obscured by clouds if you ever reach it, but that doesn't mean you should give up. The solutions offered are not easy, not perfect, probably not even close to what you want (D&D via skype? Yeah, it's a shadow of face to face interaction with beer and pizza, but it's better than another evening of whatever it is that you want to take a break from.) Perhaps the people suggesting these things DON'T understand you, but that doesn't mean their advice isn't generous or worth considering.
To continue to suggest this community doesn't care starts to look like someone is trolling. If that is the case, then I hope this post is useful to others with genuine problems. I found writing it to be helpful to me. Maybe that's what I love about forums; it is self-help that I can actually undertake.
Best Wishes. To everyone.
Roleplaying since Runequest.
*oops, I put an asterisk and no footnote.
*how pronounced? Read his book, Surviving the Hydra, available on Kindle. There are no actual hydras unfortunately, it is just his word for what he suffers. It's not a great book; he refused to exaggerate events! Also he doesn't play D&D (God forbid, there is no way I could put up with that!** I'd pay good money to watch someone else try though :) )
**If he isn't talking, he isn't listening. And if he is listening, what he hears is what he expects the other person to say. It is massively frustrating. His name, appropriately enough, is an anagram of Mingles Loudly.
Roleplaying since Runequest.
Dude, stop being so dismissive of what we say. We're trying to help you, and all you're doing is acting like we know nothing. Can I have some information on how toxic the local community is? What have they done?
I live in one of the worst places to live in the United States, what more do you people need?
A strict fact that your place is far worse then a prison and that 100% of the whole population is psychopaths, deviators and worse... Sorry we just dont buy that view. From what ive seen and experienced... Yes some people are toxic... But for each 1 that is there is one other in the place that is care giving.
I too think the problem might just be your view of your world. Id say start by being more optimistic. I know its hard... But it does bring more joy to yourself.
@plundered_tomb sheldon cooper is a genius with too many tocs that refuses to change his world. Its the world that must conform to him. He has his place and if anybody take it he cry. That said he learns a lot from the people around him. Those that actually stay with him and wonders why every day. The actor said he knows the character is not having asperger... But he portrays it as such ! As for me saying it reminds me of sheldon... I was speaking of wh, not you ! Because wh seems, like sheldon, not to see the world around him. He just assume the world is like that.
DM of two gaming groups.
Likes to create stuff.
Check out my homebrew --> Monsters --> Magical Items --> Races --> Subclasses
If you like --> Upvote, If you wanna comment --> Comment
Play by Post Games
--> One Shot Adventure - House of Artwood (DM) (Completed)
It's very hard to explain how it is to live in Kentucky, and one of my few skills is writing. Unless you've lived here, you'd think my complaints are hyperbole. They are not.
Are you really saying that you, a person who has admitted to poor social skills and social disorder, have interviewed millions of people and found every single one to be dealing drugs and/or religious zealots with nothing else to their personalities or natures beyond the drugs and religion and not a single one played D&D?
Bullshit.
Firstly even drug dealers and religious zealots may not be super evil bad toxic people - humans have layers, more than one facet to them. And neither of these stops them liking D&D.
Secondly there are nice people in Kentucky who are fans of Critical Role D&D show and have shared artwork, heartwarming stories and details of their gaming adventures with the "Critter" community.
Thirdly there are lots, I mean lots, of D&D groups in Kentucky. Many boards, forums, chats and meetup.com requests for kentucky pop up on a 2-second google search. Try a bit harder to go through the searches, ask about, I'm fairly certain there's one you can get to.
Can't go? Don't want to? Then go online. Seriously, an entire world of eclectic people including people in the exact same situation as you use online services to overcome the issues and play D&D. You are not the first person with Asperger's or autism using online services to play D&D. I've played with them on Roll20. So if they can, why can't you? There are some ******** online but also people who are kind and fully understand.
You have labelled millions of people as drug dealers and zealots without knowing them. Some may be these, but you are defining them as these labels not as people. Either way you disrespected them. And you come on here asking for advice and people have taken their time to provide you help, the best they can, and you have the audacity to spit it back in their face saying they don't care? Dick move, man. And no you don't get to hide behind "Asperger's" because, sorry, it doesn't work like that. I've helped students with mental health barriers, I've had friends with it, and played games with others across the world thanks to Roll20. One of those students was worse off than you. Severe mental problems, partial paralysis, and was literally dying bit by bit. Still he was able to make time for his favourite tabletop games.
You say we don't care. We do. Some of us have been through similar things. Some of us have been through far worse. We sympathise, we care. Do not insult us by saying otherwise. That is not fair. If we didn't care, we wouldn't be replying to you, would we? Even I care, my tone is harsher because the kind approach others give seems lost on you, but I still care otherwise I wouldn't bother with you. I'm typing all this, at 4am, because I want to help.
You say we don't understand. We do, in fact some of us understand better than you do. That's why we know there are solutions. You're choosing to ignore us. You do have options. They are not easy options. But they are options. If you want to ignore them that's up to you, but don't disrespect us and waste our time by saying we don't understand because we do.
So let's simply this:
1. Your Asperger's is irrelevant. Sorry, but it is. I know it is a barrier. But there are organisations in Kentucky, for all America, and for the whole world who are specifically dedicated to helping people with this condition and providing tools to overcoming this and they work. You can also have traditional help as well through therapists. There are means to overcome this barrier - use them.
2. Stop blaming your community. You've seen almost none of it, blaming them for your choices. Grow up and stop it. There are nice people, and gamers, in basically every ******* town in the world because strange as it may seem even being nice is also part of being human. We're a varied bunch. There is no "and people in this street are all one type, and on this street they're another" - humanity does not work like that. There are nice people near you, there are people who understand you near you, there are people in the same boat as you, find them. Stop hiding in your home blaming them when you're the one not trying to reach out. I know it is hard. I know it is frightening. Better than being trapped though, right? Put up flyers, ask the stores, ask random people, check colleges for interest in clubs, put out advertisement, use facebook or other social media, check game stores. You'll meet idiots and ********, sure, but you will eventually find people who are good and will want to play.
3. Go online. The entire world is open to you. Every type of person, every background, everyone who is nice and everyone who is bad and millions and millions of gamers who either play D&D or would be interested. They are all available for contact. There are services like Roll20 where you can find groups, message forums, chats, and more where you can gather interest, then play on a virtual table top or use Skype or Discord or all sorts of platforms. Is it ideal? No. But you will be successful at some point. You can even try play-by-post games right here on dndbeyond.com. There are forums there to specifically look for people to play with through various mediums. Go try. It doesn't hurt to try it. You have nothing to lose, so just do it.
4. Help yourself. Other people can only do so much. The only person who can truly solve your situation is you. This is probably the most difficult and I fully understand that it is. I've been through a lot. Multiple times my life has taken such a nose dive that suicide plagued my every thought. Finding energy to come back again, and again, to climb over hurdle after ******* hurdle is the most terrifyingly daunting task when you view it ahead of you. Nobody can inhabit you and push on for you. Even when loved ones are trying to be there you still feel alone. I know this, believe me. But you have to find that drive in yourself. Set little goals each day. Take it step by step. One day make the goal to make a facebook group page, perhaps. The next goal for the next day invite friends you might have. Next day, make flyers for the page. Day after, maybe go to a cafe or game store and ask to put it in the window or up somewhere. Worst they can do is say no but the point is you made that attempt, you jumped that hurdle. The goal was to go and ask, and you achieved it. Take those small victories and pile them up. You'll get a momentum going and with that you can do a bit more, and then a bit more. Somewhere along the way you will find people. Not everyone is going to be to your liking and you may not be to theirs but you don't have to be. Eventually you will start finding people you may be able to play with. Even if you may not become "friends" you still get to play and that can lead to other games, other groups and other people. It's possible. Take your time, and work on it.
5. Get help from others. That drive to do better and get what you want from life starts with you but you don't have to do it alone. There is a whole worldwide community of D&D players who like to help each other and they have all kinds of expertise and experiences that can help. You can try your therapist. As one poster said talk to them about your interest in D&D as a means of helping you overcoming your barriers. Did you know there are D&D groups and tabletop-orientated organisations as well as documentaries and articles all specifically about how games like D&D help mental health? There are videos on Youtube about it. Go look it up, it's fascinating. There are actual psychological studies and surveys devoted to this concept and how it works. Your therapist may actually be able to assist you in finding groups specifically catering to those who have struggles with anxiety, autism or similar, or depression (which it sounds like you have). Worth a shot.
The help we can provide on a forum will be limited, but we will do what we can. If, that is, you're willing to try and stop insulting us. Your outlook is cynical, I understand why, but you will have to try and compromise on that - it is stopping you from seeing the help and hope that is being offered and you're missing out. Give it a try. But, as I said, you have to be willing to help yourself first.
There's nothing more I can say. I only hope you will listen and take our advice.
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As I said, none of you can nor will understand. You can't. I've lived in the same place my entire life. Trust me, people here are either trying shove God up your ass or are trying to shove some Xanax and a syringe of heroine in there. The few friends I had were only my friends because they had to talk to me at school. After that, everyone I knew threw me away and stabbed me in the back. My mental health at one point was so bad that I had to drop out of college and come home. People here are only nice if you fit in to their antiquated and backwards niches of "humanity". If not, they are brutal and terrible. The closest small city is more than twenty miles away. You think I'm gonna walk all the way to one of the three game stores in that city?
You didn't even read any of my post, did you?
Everything in your post has already been covered. If you are going to reply please have the courtesy to read it our posts first. We read yours so it's only fair.
Either that or you're deliberately choosing to ignore what we say, in which case you are beyond anyone's help.
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Hi. I'm a 14 year old student looking to play D&D. If you don't have a problem with me, I would gladly join your session!
I read the whole damn thing. It doesn't matter. I've ceased wanting any help from any of you(especially guys like Cyb3rM1nd), as none of the presented "solutions" can work, especially with my current circumstances.
Hi. I'm a 14 year old student looking to play D&D. If you don't have a problem with me, I would gladly join your session!
Alright, speaking as an autistic individual with a myriad of other personal issues that makes it difficult for me to be comfortable enough with leaving my house for longer than an hour or two at most, you've got to realize that if you want something you're sometimes going to have to make sacrifices and force yourself out of your comfort zone to get it. For me, if I wanted to play a game, I've chosen to go online to do it since the nearest gaming store is like... 30? 45? minutes away and I would just be a miserable little gremlin to have to hang around if I tried forcing it. And I've accepted that.
In your case since you know that the people currently near you aren't the type of people you're wanting to play with, this leaves either 1) having to go elsewhere and look, or 2) going online. Those are literally your only options, and if you're not willing to take any of those options, I'm honestly not sure we can help.
My Homebrew: Races | Subclasses | Backgrounds | Spells | Magic Items | Feats
Need help with Homebrew? Check out this FAQ/Guide thread by IamSposta
See My Youtube Videos for Tips & Tricks using D&D Beyond
We appreciate everyone trying to help. However, the thread seems to have come to an end.
Best wishes to everyone.