[Disclaimer to Moderators: this is NOT a site member I’m talking about]
[I would like those replying to this thread to answer a few questions about what I experienced and through that adult conversation hopefully learn what I should have done/find people on here who would be willing to play with me and be honest about what they want from a player in their game.] ... Started to make a ‘looking for group’ thread when I noticed I started telling the story of what happened the previous time I’d had a DND DM. I left that table because of the argument and continuous bullying of every character I made by both the players/party and my friend who invited me apologized extensively for not having known those two well enough before asking me to join since the DM had the books.
My experience before meeting that DM:
For about two years I played a guest character in my friend’s RP sessions when we were at school lunch (21 now). The premise of that was my friend was being run through a single player logic puzzle type of RP (no dice/no stats) and myself and another boy were playing some of the spirits haunting him, character name Cody. The RP was loads of fun and we all enjoyed it, myself playing the Chaotic Neutral/Good spirit while the other boy was playing the Chaotic Evil spirit. Our job, besides filling Cody’s head with our campaign objectives [Me: get rich, gain power, don’t let Cody die, don’t make people think we’re Evil] [Guy: make Cody evil, gain power, get Cody killed in fantastic ways, eat people with the cursed shard’s gluttony powers that Cody got early in the campaign].
It was a lot of fun, our DM never got mad at us besides for making Cody laugh too much, and the few times me and the other guy argued poetically in character trying to dissuade any more of the other’s shenanigans. We didn’t like each other much in real life but playing two Chaotic characters against each other actually helped us get over that by a lot; more common goal competition than what I DM was first afraid of when they guy made himself Evil and they realized I was very experienced with writing and acting from my hobbies at the time and LOVED playing Chaotic characters as intended.
Meeting that DM:
He was a rather stern and nit picky elderly man who had played since D&D existed. I’m a kind and mostly mild mannered person so I overlooked a lot of that; helped clean his house as he was disabled and his daughter desperately needed extra hands and supplies on their minimum funds, I didn’t make fuss about their political beliefs or economic status even though there were some moments that nearly happened. [They were strong Conservatives and I happen to be Queer and of a lesser noticed minority so hearing those rants wasn’t fun; on the other point I’d lived in conditions like their trailer when I was in Mississippi, so I knew how to properly clean but there as a class gap since my family had the opportunity to move back into our old upper middle class household.] (<- referencing the full situation for existing awkwardness between me and these two.)
What play was like:
To save time and let other individuals DM three campaigns were run in succession, only for those characters to be equally discarded once the reached third level. Even though others were DMing the DM, as the adult at the table, kept butting in to ensure my friend and his daughter were following the handbooks to the letter, which clearly made them both uncomfortable and nervous respectively.
As the campaigns progressed the adult DM repeatedly had problems with my characters and made deliberate actions to get rid of several of them AFTER they had already been allowed and accepted in play BY HIM.
The first character to end up terminated was the 5ed Kobold Monk I was trying to play in my friend’s DM turn. The character was based vaguely off my first ever book character, so I knew how to play him, but the downside of that was, when the bulling started, that character was a very vulnerable target for it to start to hit personally.
The DM (who was not DMing) took great offense to having a PC monster and after being told repeatedly and shown the 5E handbook to show it was allowed, still had his own PC make racist comments at my Kobold and repeatedly shove me into encounters (literally, pick up my character or kick them forward with his own) to get him killed when I was a Shadow Monk with a low armor class trying to set up a stealth strike.
The fact my character’s backstory was he was a cursed Noble Dragonborn who was then raised by monks also invited more in-character racist disrespect and out of character shouting that my idea was stupid even though my friend said it was okay and it. DID. NOT. EFFECT. PLAY.
My friend and I had decided that when we completed the campaign and collected the artifact the wish I would ask of the king was to have my character turned back into a Dragonborn. Simple happy ending that really doesn’t seem that out of place from what I’ve researched about other people’s personal campaigns since then. The character had a reward and reason to exist in that campaign.
The adult did not think so.
My friend and I ended up canceling that campaign because I couldn’t stand the constant belittlement in and out of character over my character, and I was in tears over it and had to explain I was going to have a depressive relapse from the emotions this was bringing to the surface. (Take note I was suicidal when I was previously depressed and my friend knew about that and all in my life which had cause that.)
So we ended that game and my friend sternly told the Adult DM to cut it out or we’d both leave. He agreed but did not do so.
Now, recall the fact campaigns were running concurrently, and we were continuing those campaigns as best we could.
The campaign run by his daughter I had a variant of my first character with him, trying to address the issues he had with my first character. The version I played became a 2e Moon Elf Rogue who was Chaotic Good. My roles for that character were low but fine enough to play—up until the following decision was forced upon me.
We had his Lawful Good Gnome Paladin and my friend’s True Neutral HalfOrc Barbarian.
My character, WHO WAS STILL A ROGUE, was then made by him a Wizard because ’Moon Elf’s have natural magic proficiency’ and he felt I was wasting my race by making it a Rogue.
As a result my character, Faraday, was rewritten to be a magic school flunky who hated that they could use magic and because their stats were so low anyway any encounter where a stealth attack wasn’t allowed resulted in my character being one hit down and relatively useless for any and all magical attacks as I hardly ever got to fire any (you know, the reason they asked me to be reclassed instead of creating an NPC like in previous campaigns?).
RP wise that was partially more fun because I was able to snatch up my friend’s Barbarian, pull a ‘you know why’ from our original RP which mage him laugh his head off, and have a nice bit of banter (4 minutes) in town while the adult and his Gnome were rolling his eyes and trying to undermine everything I was asking of the impressionable Barbarian character (namely, ‘if you see shiny things bring them to me, if enemies drop a weapon or armor piece you don’t use bring it to me, and I will sell them for more shinies so I won’t die’).
Settling up a parasitic monetary relationship or symbolic character partnership?
Yes.
The adult’s argument? ‘The Barbarian shouldn’t be doing stuff like that he should be breaking magic items to level up!’
Me, who reminded I wanted coppers and regular items just to get enough money for a hell of a lot of health potions, was told again my argument was stupid. So, in protest of being charged three gold pieces at an inn for the night I instead sept on the roof and made a campfire on my fire blanket in protest against loosing any more money; my bird hunting a rabbit for me for my rations.
The Bird:
This gets its whole entire category and was the last straw for what made me leave that table. In doing my research it could be classified as a Homebrew argument but, considering the other behavior I experienced and his insistence he was never wrong with any argument we had even when my friend and his daughter were with me, I really don’t think it was.
(Quotes from previously attempted thread)
hi
Game: D&D (more experienced in 2e but what to bring that character to 5e if that fits)
Group preferred: Online
Experience: RP 2 years, D&D near a year.
Location/Timezone: VA/EST
Availability: Anytime but after 3am I’m known to pass out and 11am is my usual wake up time as a result.
Preferred role: Player, though I have writing and RP long running scenario experience just not of the making stats and enemy combatant encounters kind. (I don’t do numbers, but I was taught how to juggle stories and solve problems, which works pretty well for me but I miss playing D&D and leveling up.)
Game style: Looking for casual fun game that can accept a semi-noob. Long or short term. I’m interested in playing ‘higher level’ (3-5) characters since the only DM I ever had just ran multiple campaigns and we never actually got that far before we were tossed in another one.
The character I’m interested in playing is a regular Chaotic Neutral Rogue Elf. The only ‘homebrew’ that might be part of it is the fact my character has a bolas, which I haven’t found anywhere in 5e but have the 2e stats for.
[THE FOLLOWING CAN BE EXCLUDED FROM PLAY IF IT IS AN ISSUE]
(I just want to play again and I can just be Moon Elf with a bola if that’s what’s preferred. )
Story wise the character, Ghost Elf Chaotic Neutral Rogue, was originally supposed to subservient/host to the demon that rescued them and now pretended to be their familiar (hence why a Rogue has a strangely sentient familiar). Just the simple Ghost Elf lore but saying my character was freed by a young demon who wanted to escape too.
That is it.
NO STATS WERE CHANGED AND NO ABILITIES ADDED BESIDES A FAMILIAR BOND LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE GOLDEN COMPASS.
The bird was mostly a story reference although was able to scout ahead and hunt a small animals if needed. I reacted for it as one of my characters and it never did anything besides fly around, act cute to the other players during rest when they took interest in it, and occasionally snickered for the whole ‘has human sentience but is still a bird’ bit. Nothing detrimental to the active campaign apart from apparently the concept of having something ‘demonic’ as a neutral entity in the party.
The main thing to mention if it were to be included in any future campaign for any reason at the choice of someone besides me—(because I don’t want to experience a campaign like that again)—is do not randomly send a demon to kidnap my bird. That did not go over well. That bird was my only ray of sunshine in that campaign. It is my bird. Please do not take my bird it doesn’t break the freaking world if it exists yet does nothing demonic. I do not brag about my bird and my character doesn’t either. It is just a cute demon bird that is meant for fun not anything destructive; it has nothing my character, per Race and Class, couldn’t already do besides fly as it was a bird, and it was at NON-COMBATATIVE FAMILIAR.
[Side Note: having a Cleric use ‘detect devil’ on the bird then trying to persecute it alongside my character would have also not gone over well. Neither of them were evil so the spell wouldn’t find anything anyway, but the concept of being executed out of the campaign. Because. Of. A. BIRD. Is also something I’d rather not happen and I’m fine not playing with the bird. That’s a okay. The bird is not required when starting a NEW campaign, whereas, for that campaign, as it had already been allowed, having a character and that character’s familiar ‘was’ essential.]
As for my actual CHARACTER, not the bird, apart from the showman chaotic neural entrance (aka ‘this is my unbelievable backstory fellow travelers! It’s so unbelievable you won’t believe it and you will unknowingly help hide it, MOOWHOHAHAHAHA!’, which I find a funny one off moment) the character mainly ranges from a carry the team fighter/scout when asked to, to a ‘let’s kick the bard annoying me down the dungeon stairs for being smarmy’ or ‘Hey barbarian let’s tag team to Chaotic Good harass the angry religious gnome before we enter battle again and I die’ at their worse. (As ‘Wizard’ Rogue was essentially just the previous character but a Moon Elf with a habit to flirt at everything in response to being made the party’s sacrifice in that campaign).
[For reference the bard mention was when the party first met while the barbarian mention was near the end of the second campaign (barely two weeks each of actual table time) where I just wanted to have fun with the one person at the table who was actually my friend and I’d played with regularly before this.]
...
TL;RD - Let’s be honest guys.
I understand how the concept of ’demon bird’ can get under peoples’ skin and I just don’t want to face that target toxicity anymore so don’t want to bring it in if that’s what it causes. That means NO DEMON BIRD FAMILIAR unless the DM feels it is something that can be included, says it’s okay three separate times, doesn’t change their mind constantly, and just treats it like a bird familiar.
I repeat, the character, as follows, IS JUST AN ELF ROGUE AND DOESN’T COME WITH THE BIRD.
I’ve been researching D&D campaigns, Reddit stories, anything I can to figure out if there was reason for the arguments and I just wasn’t getting it like he said or whether it’s what I thought and it felt like and he just really hated me. :( 🙁
As I mentioned above there are some points where it feels like there might have been a game rule issue I’d stumbled upon but what upsets me is the fact those things were ALLOWED, Did, Not, Change, yet he continued to be hyper focused on those things AFTER HE HIMSELF had allowed it or continuing to argue his opinion when he wasn’t the DM.
According to what I can find the DM is supposed to hold absolute power, but there’s nothing I’ve found that says a DM can be hypocritical and inactive about something just so they can complain about it. If he didn’t like my idea he could have told me at the start and had me make a new character, not begrudgingly accept it then complain endlessly about it until doing something to ‘help’ the storyline and framing it as a good thing from the beak of a character I controlled.
...
For the LFG bit this was what I had as follows, but I felt this wouldn’t make sense without the full story and would just get me accused of being some stuck up abhorrently destructive person when I’m not, and neither are my characters. I can tolerate people calling me a ‘snowflake’ as he did because I’m well aware of my mental conditions and the reasons why I missed years of socializing in my early life.
What I won’t tolerate is having people not speak to me like an understanding adult and say what they don’t like about me rather than trying to take it out on me ‘as part of a game’. I’m not stupid just because I’m ADHD and have autistic tendencies. I can recognize bullying just fine.
If anyone, after reading all this, is still willing to play with me know that I will not take anything you do personally. If my character gets downed I’m not going to flame up and suddenly accuse you of hating my character. That’s not the effing point of this story. I tolerated what he did up until I couldn’t, and I know the difference between just playing and constant purposeful actions over months.
If it is possible I’d like to play that character again just so they will finally grow to be something. I’ve recreated them with all their gear minus the bird and have included a more subdued personality for them so that won’t be a problem either.
I’ve been playing RP for two years now and just want to play D&D again.
No, this is not normal. At all. I've never played at a table where anything like that has happened, and I'm really sorry it had to happen to you. At my table, and most other tables I've played at, D&D is a cooperative game. Everyone works together to make sure everyone else has fun. So if you want to play that character again, go for it!
That said, I play D&D mostly with my friends, and once in a while at my local game store. I've never played online. If you want to make 100% sure you have a good experience, try to get some of your friends together and see if someone will DM. That's usually more fun than playing with random people.
I'm not sure I followed everything in the OP... It was very confusing and I confess that I am not clear on what all exactly happened.
However, from what I can determine, it seems like you and this "adult DM" don't get along personally outside of the game, that he belittles you or people like you and is rude and unfriendly. The short answer to all this is: don't play with people like that. Play with people whom you like and with whom you get along.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Tbh, i totally would have allowed that bird if i was the DM. Anyway, don't play with people who you don't enjoy being around. This will only make you feel annoyed every game. Try to play with friends or family, usually you'll end up playing a game that is much more interesting ad fun for you.
Tbh, i totally would have allowed that bird if i was the DM. Anyway, don't play with people who you don't enjoy being around. This will only make you feel annoyed every game. Try to play with friends or family, usually you'll end up playing a game that is much more interesting ad fun for you.
There are great people to play with out there. Don’t give up. I felt pretty unsure when I started to apply for games on roll 20. I think it was the third game I was finally accepted as a player. Little background: I am from Germany and most players Americans. That was like 5 or so years ago and I still play with most of these players and consider them friends. So don’t hesitate to get away from people who are not good for you. There are open and nice people out there. And being gay or black or whatever shouldn’t be of any concern. It may not happen in the first game or even the third but eventually you will find likeminded people.
This sounds like it was pretty far from acceptable behavior.
The gaming table is not an appropriate place to air your political beliefs, especially ones that are related to someone's race, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
And it's really unacceptable to attack or otherwise deliberately attempt to harm another player's character or decide that they're playing it "wrong". It's also completely unacceptable to decide what another GM should or should not allow in their game. At the minimum, grabbing your character in an attempt to put them in harm's way should result in a warning from the GM. It would be quite valid for it to be grounds for immediate expulsion. This guy really sounds like someone who doesn't deserve to be allowed to play with other people.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
The whole "breaking magic items to level up" goes way back to like 1e/2e days. Which hasn't been the case for at least 20 years now.
It sounds like that person had a single way to play D&D stuck in their head, and woe to anyone who tried to play differently.
If I were running a game and someone wanted a pet that literally did nothing but looks cute, sure. The urchin background literally grants this in its starting equipment (a pet mouse).
If they wanted it to mechanically contribute, taking Magic Initiate feat for find familiar is probably where I would steer them.
And it's really unacceptable to attack or otherwise deliberately attempt to harm another player's character or decide that they're playing it "wrong". It's also completely unacceptable to decide what another GM should or should not allow in their game. At the minimum, grabbing your character in an attempt to put them in harm's way should result in a warning from the GM. It would be quite valid for it to be grounds for immediate expulsion. This guy really sounds like someone who doesn't deserve to be allowed to play with other people.
*hugs* and Thank you. He was an old man and I know he played with others his age online, so apparently they don’t understand that :(.
The whole "breaking magic items to level up" goes way back to like 1e/2e days. Which hasn't been the case for at least 20 years now.
We were playing in 2e. He talked a lot about how rogues were just thieves that worked against the party and it didn’t make sense why they’d work together at all, too. He said it kinda as a joke while explaining what original DnD was like and told us all about the satanic scare too; very passionate.
Overall I still kinda like 2e just because the sheets are simpler. :)
It sounds like that person had a single way to play D&D stuck in their head, and woe to anyone who tried to play differently.
He had us murder hoboing everything that wasn’t human then got mad at us for not thinking to talk to humans in the guard tower of the module we played. There was no enjoyment in exp grinding.
If I were running a game and someone wanted a pet that literally did nothing but looks cute, sure. The urchin background literally grants this in its starting equipment (a pet mouse).
Is urchin an option on this site version? That’s really cool 🤩. Also hugs and thank you!
In 5th Edition, you not only have a character class, you also have a Background that's based on what your character was before they became an adventurer. This grants you several skill, language, and/or tool proficiencies, plus some automatic starting equipment and a minor special ability. Urchin is one background option, which grants a pet mouse as one of the items you start with. So you could play a Monk with the Urchin background and say that your character was an orphan who lived on the streets until they met their shifu when they tried to pick her pocket. Shifu then took them in and trained them before something made them go back out into the world.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
In 5th Edition, you not only have a character class, you also have a Background that's based on what your character was before they became an adventurer. This grants you several skill, language, and/or tool proficiencies, plus some automatic starting equipment and a minor special ability. Urchin is one background option, which grants a pet mouse as one of the items you start with. So you could play a Monk with the Urchin background and say that your character was an orphan who lived on the streets until they met their shifu when they tried to pick her pocket. Shifu then took them in and trained them before something made them go back out into the world.
I’ll definitely use this at some point! I keep using the site’s 6 character slots and having to screenshot everything. Thank you!!! 🥰
I’ve been considering for the last few hours the idea of having the Blue Teifling Dragon Bloodline Sorcerer I made on this site be the bird’s true form to show one day and that he’s just really happy to be out in the world bird or not—and just realized that could absolutely mean the little Noble/Cursed Kobold Monk (add mouse) could be their kid. 🥰 Have a dream family reunion of characters right there. Had to share.
[Disclaimer to Moderators: this is NOT a site member I’m talking about]
[I would like those replying to this thread to answer a few questions about what I experienced and through that adult conversation hopefully learn what I should have done/find people on here who would be willing to play with me and be honest about what they want from a player in their game.]
...
Started to make a ‘looking for group’ thread when I noticed I started telling the story of what happened the previous time I’d had a DND DM. I left that table because of the argument and continuous bullying of every character I made by both the players/party and my friend who invited me apologized extensively for not having known those two well enough before asking me to join since the DM had the books.
My experience before meeting that DM:
For about two years I played a guest character in my friend’s RP sessions when we were at school lunch (21 now). The premise of that was my friend was being run through a single player logic puzzle type of RP (no dice/no stats) and myself and another boy were playing some of the spirits haunting him, character name Cody. The RP was loads of fun and we all enjoyed it, myself playing the Chaotic Neutral/Good spirit while the other boy was playing the Chaotic Evil spirit. Our job, besides filling Cody’s head with our campaign objectives [Me: get rich, gain power, don’t let Cody die, don’t make people think we’re Evil] [Guy: make Cody evil, gain power, get Cody killed in fantastic ways, eat people with the cursed shard’s gluttony powers that Cody got early in the campaign].
It was a lot of fun, our DM never got mad at us besides for making Cody laugh too much, and the few times me and the other guy argued poetically in character trying to dissuade any more of the other’s shenanigans. We didn’t like each other much in real life but playing two Chaotic characters against each other actually helped us get over that by a lot; more common goal competition than what I DM was first afraid of when they guy made himself Evil and they realized I was very experienced with writing and acting from my hobbies at the time and LOVED playing Chaotic characters as intended.
Meeting that DM:
He was a rather stern and nit picky elderly man who had played since D&D existed. I’m a kind and mostly mild mannered person so I overlooked a lot of that; helped clean his house as he was disabled and his daughter desperately needed extra hands and supplies on their minimum funds, I didn’t make fuss about their political beliefs or economic status even though there were some moments that nearly happened. [They were strong Conservatives and I happen to be Queer and of a lesser noticed minority so hearing those rants wasn’t fun; on the other point I’d lived in conditions like their trailer when I was in Mississippi, so I knew how to properly clean but there as a class gap since my family had the opportunity to move back into our old upper middle class household.] (<- referencing the full situation for existing awkwardness between me and these two.)
What play was like:
To save time and let other individuals DM three campaigns were run in succession, only for those characters to be equally discarded once the reached third level. Even though others were DMing the DM, as the adult at the table, kept butting in to ensure my friend and his daughter were following the handbooks to the letter, which clearly made them both uncomfortable and nervous respectively.
As the campaigns progressed the adult DM repeatedly had problems with my characters and made deliberate actions to get rid of several of them AFTER they had already been allowed and accepted in play BY HIM.
The first character to end up terminated was the 5ed Kobold Monk I was trying to play in my friend’s DM turn. The character was based vaguely off my first ever book character, so I knew how to play him, but the downside of that was, when the bulling started, that character was a very vulnerable target for it to start to hit personally.
The DM (who was not DMing) took great offense to having a PC monster and after being told repeatedly and shown the 5E handbook to show it was allowed, still had his own PC make racist comments at my Kobold and repeatedly shove me into encounters (literally, pick up my character or kick them forward with his own) to get him killed when I was a Shadow Monk with a low armor class trying to set up a stealth strike.
The fact my character’s backstory was he was a cursed Noble Dragonborn who was then raised by monks also invited more in-character racist disrespect and out of character shouting that my idea was stupid even though my friend said it was okay and it. DID. NOT. EFFECT. PLAY.
My friend and I had decided that when we completed the campaign and collected the artifact the wish I would ask of the king was to have my character turned back into a Dragonborn. Simple happy ending that really doesn’t seem that out of place from what I’ve researched about other people’s personal campaigns since then. The character had a reward and reason to exist in that campaign.
The adult did not think so.
My friend and I ended up canceling that campaign because I couldn’t stand the constant belittlement in and out of character over my character, and I was in tears over it and had to explain I was going to have a depressive relapse from the emotions this was bringing to the surface. (Take note I was suicidal when I was previously depressed and my friend knew about that and all in my life which had cause that.)
So we ended that game and my friend sternly told the Adult DM to cut it out or we’d both leave. He agreed but did not do so.
Now, recall the fact campaigns were running concurrently, and we were continuing those campaigns as best we could.
The campaign run by his daughter I had a variant of my first character with him, trying to address the issues he had with my first character. The version I played became a 2e Moon Elf Rogue who was Chaotic Good. My roles for that character were low but fine enough to play—up until the following decision was forced upon me.
We had his Lawful Good Gnome Paladin and my friend’s True Neutral HalfOrc Barbarian.
My character, WHO WAS STILL A ROGUE, was then made by him a Wizard because ’Moon Elf’s have natural magic proficiency’ and he felt I was wasting my race by making it a Rogue.
As a result my character, Faraday, was rewritten to be a magic school flunky who hated that they could use magic and because their stats were so low anyway any encounter where a stealth attack wasn’t allowed resulted in my character being one hit down and relatively useless for any and all magical attacks as I hardly ever got to fire any (you know, the reason they asked me to be reclassed instead of creating an NPC like in previous campaigns?).
RP wise that was partially more fun because I was able to snatch up my friend’s Barbarian, pull a ‘you know why’ from our original RP which mage him laugh his head off, and have a nice bit of banter (4 minutes) in town while the adult and his Gnome were rolling his eyes and trying to undermine everything I was asking of the impressionable Barbarian character (namely, ‘if you see shiny things bring them to me, if enemies drop a weapon or armor piece you don’t use bring it to me, and I will sell them for more shinies so I won’t die’).
Settling up a parasitic monetary relationship or symbolic character partnership?
Yes.
The adult’s argument? ‘The Barbarian shouldn’t be doing stuff like that he should be breaking magic items to level up!’
Me, who reminded I wanted coppers and regular items just to get enough money for a hell of a lot of health potions, was told again my argument was stupid. So, in protest of being charged three gold pieces at an inn for the night I instead sept on the roof and made a campfire on my fire blanket in protest against loosing any more money; my bird hunting a rabbit for me for my rations.
The Bird:
This gets its whole entire category and was the last straw for what made me leave that table. In doing my research it could be classified as a Homebrew argument but, considering the other behavior I experienced and his insistence he was never wrong with any argument we had even when my friend and his daughter were with me, I really don’t think it was.
(Quotes from previously attempted thread)
****
I hate to ask this, but is this normal?
I’ve been researching D&D campaigns, Reddit stories, anything I can to figure out if there was reason for the arguments and I just wasn’t getting it like he said or whether it’s what I thought and it felt like and he just really hated me. :( 🙁
As I mentioned above there are some points where it feels like there might have been a game rule issue I’d stumbled upon but what upsets me is the fact those things were ALLOWED, Did, Not, Change, yet he continued to be hyper focused on those things AFTER HE HIMSELF had allowed it or continuing to argue his opinion when he wasn’t the DM.
According to what I can find the DM is supposed to hold absolute power, but there’s nothing I’ve found that says a DM can be hypocritical and inactive about something just so they can complain about it. If he didn’t like my idea he could have told me at the start and had me make a new character, not begrudgingly accept it then complain endlessly about it until doing something to ‘help’ the storyline and framing it as a good thing from the beak of a character I controlled.
...
For the LFG bit this was what I had as follows, but I felt this wouldn’t make sense without the full story and would just get me accused of being some stuck up abhorrently destructive person when I’m not, and neither are my characters. I can tolerate people calling me a ‘snowflake’ as he did because I’m well aware of my mental conditions and the reasons why I missed years of socializing in my early life.
What I won’t tolerate is having people not speak to me like an understanding adult and say what they don’t like about me rather than trying to take it out on me ‘as part of a game’. I’m not stupid just because I’m ADHD and have autistic tendencies. I can recognize bullying just fine.
If anyone, after reading all this, is still willing to play with me know that I will not take anything you do personally. If my character gets downed I’m not going to flame up and suddenly accuse you of hating my character. That’s not the effing point of this story. I tolerated what he did up until I couldn’t, and I know the difference between just playing and constant purposeful actions over months.
If it is possible I’d like to play that character again just so they will finally grow to be something. I’ve recreated them with all their gear minus the bird and have included a more subdued personality for them so that won’t be a problem either.
I’ve been playing RP for two years now and just want to play D&D again.
No, this is not normal. At all. I've never played at a table where anything like that has happened, and I'm really sorry it had to happen to you. At my table, and most other tables I've played at, D&D is a cooperative game. Everyone works together to make sure everyone else has fun. So if you want to play that character again, go for it!
That said, I play D&D mostly with my friends, and once in a while at my local game store. I've never played online. If you want to make 100% sure you have a good experience, try to get some of your friends together and see if someone will DM. That's usually more fun than playing with random people.
Wizard (Gandalf) of the Tolkien Club
Thank you. *hugs*
I'm not sure I followed everything in the OP... It was very confusing and I confess that I am not clear on what all exactly happened.
However, from what I can determine, it seems like you and this "adult DM" don't get along personally outside of the game, that he belittles you or people like you and is rude and unfriendly. The short answer to all this is: don't play with people like that. Play with people whom you like and with whom you get along.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Tbh, i totally would have allowed that bird if i was the DM. Anyway, don't play with people who you don't enjoy being around. This will only make you feel annoyed every game. Try to play with friends or family, usually you'll end up playing a game that is much more interesting ad fun for you.
There is no dawn after eternal night.
Homebrew: Magic items, Subclasses
Thank you. *hugs*
Thank you. *hugs*
🙂
There are great people to play with out there. Don’t give up. I felt pretty unsure when I started to apply for games on roll 20. I think it was the third game I was finally accepted as a player. Little background: I am from Germany and most players Americans.
That was like 5 or so years ago and I still play with most of these players and consider them friends. So don’t hesitate to get away from people who are not good for you.
There are open and nice people out there. And being gay or black or whatever shouldn’t be of any concern.
It may not happen in the first game or even the third but eventually you will find likeminded people.
I wish you all the best. Don’t give up.
Thank you 🙂 *big hugs*
For those wondering I’m transgender, pan, a Jew.
This sounds like it was pretty far from acceptable behavior.
The gaming table is not an appropriate place to air your political beliefs, especially ones that are related to someone's race, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
And it's really unacceptable to attack or otherwise deliberately attempt to harm another player's character or decide that they're playing it "wrong". It's also completely unacceptable to decide what another GM should or should not allow in their game. At the minimum, grabbing your character in an attempt to put them in harm's way should result in a warning from the GM. It would be quite valid for it to be grounds for immediate expulsion. This guy really sounds like someone who doesn't deserve to be allowed to play with other people.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
The whole "breaking magic items to level up" goes way back to like 1e/2e days. Which hasn't been the case for at least 20 years now.
It sounds like that person had a single way to play D&D stuck in their head, and woe to anyone who tried to play differently.
If I were running a game and someone wanted a pet that literally did nothing but looks cute, sure. The urchin background literally grants this in its starting equipment (a pet mouse).
If they wanted it to mechanically contribute, taking Magic Initiate feat for find familiar is probably where I would steer them.
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*hugs* and Thank you. He was an old man and I know he played with others his age online, so apparently they don’t understand that :(.
We were playing in 2e. He talked a lot about how rogues were just thieves that worked against the party and it didn’t make sense why they’d work together at all, too. He said it kinda as a joke while explaining what original DnD was like and told us all about the satanic scare too; very passionate.
Overall I still kinda like 2e just because the sheets are simpler. :)
He had us murder hoboing everything that wasn’t human then got mad at us for not thinking to talk to humans in the guard tower of the module we played. There was no enjoyment in exp grinding.
Is urchin an option on this site version? That’s really cool 🤩. Also hugs and thank you!
In 5th Edition, you not only have a character class, you also have a Background that's based on what your character was before they became an adventurer. This grants you several skill, language, and/or tool proficiencies, plus some automatic starting equipment and a minor special ability. Urchin is one background option, which grants a pet mouse as one of the items you start with. So you could play a Monk with the Urchin background and say that your character was an orphan who lived on the streets until they met their shifu when they tried to pick her pocket. Shifu then took them in and trained them before something made them go back out into the world.
Find your own truth, choose your enemies carefully, and never deal with a dragon.
"Canon" is what's factual to D&D lore. "Cannon" is what you're going to be shot with if you keep getting the word wrong.
I’ll definitely use this at some point! I keep using the site’s 6 character slots and having to screenshot everything. Thank you!!! 🥰
Also for those viewing this who might want to play with me this is the thread for it; https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/looking-for-players-groups/74210-semi-noob-interested-in-replaying-existing
*Random Realization*
I’ve been considering for the last few hours the idea of having the Blue Teifling Dragon Bloodline Sorcerer I made on this site be the bird’s true form to show one day and that he’s just really happy to be out in the world bird or not—and just realized that could absolutely mean the little Noble/Cursed Kobold Monk (add mouse) could be their kid. 🥰 Have a dream family reunion of characters right there. Had to share.
Urchin is in the Player's Handbook. I don't think it is in the free Basic Rules.
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That sounds awful!!!
Not to belittle people, but he sounds like basically a crazy old guy. Try and find someone more compatible to play with.
Sorry that happened to you. Hugs 😊.
*tight hugs* and thank you.