Something tingles a bit on the back of his "arm", but the smell of bacon keeps the Ever Growing Descriptions of Colorless Colors Colored Knight from noticing anything is amiss. He does however notice Burt having yet another meaty treat without so much as offering a nibble. "Ye sure are a hungry one there Burt." He says jovially as his mind shouts to itself, No, no, I wouldn't hear of having a bite of your smoked hammy treat there, but thanks for offering all the same!
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"Feet!", exclaims the Nubby Nightshaded Knight. "Good sir, while I gladly support your right to 'unsubscribe', whatever in the world that may be, using yon tools of which Burt spaketh, would it be too much to ask that you leave your feet here with us? It seems I've misplaced mine, and yours look quite cozy."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
Everyone takes defensive positions in an arc with the cave behind them. I'd be more specific but I don't want to draw a map on a napkin and you can't make me. Yodels and snorts echo to the left, to the right, getting closer, closer. Then silence, broken only by a faint patter-patter from somewhere near Juan's feet.
"Those yodels, man, they're all wrong man.... Outlaws don't snort, this ain't right, this ain't right...." he whines
"Park that shit, Juan!" Jefe barks but he persists. "This is it, man, our gooses are cooked"
"Geese" the healer - who coincidentally is named Hans Healy, as he took his mothers maiden name when she split from his dad otherwise (true story) he'd be called Hans Neesontowse - pipes up.
"Man, what does it matter, it's ******* cooked!"
But bladder and lungs voided he falls silent, leaving no sound but the faint breeze through grass, and the squealing boar thumping it's head against the door of it's cage. I didn't mention that sooner because he's kind of ruining the tension build up.
Immediately in front of you, there's a sudden deep roaring snort and rising up comes what looks like a man with the face of a pig
"No man, it can't be.... Snoutlaws ain't real, man, they ain't real"
But they are real, because we're so far down the pork-hole now that I've had to reflavour the entire module around barbecue meats and condiments. And I can prove they're real because they're rolling init.
Snoutlaw (group - oops, spoiler! There's more than one) init 9
Sorry to interrupt - is there a way to stop getting notifications from this thread?
The best way to stop getting notifications is for you to join the campaign, take control of Stumpy Greg the 1 legged centaur and finish the quest. Then the thread will shut up for good. It's the only way to be sure!
Or go wake the real DM and tell him to get a move on!
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
As Burt's hand comes into contact with.... himself.... he feels a sudden swelling, his body engorged with a strength he didn't know he had. Rather than repulsed at the display, The Black Knights feels something stirring inside himself, like he's ready to do things he normally can't. Or wouldn't. Jefe just gets a little uncomfortable. Healy tries to fight the feeling 7 and manages to keep his hands to himself.
The Caped Crusader, hey, how did you know he had a cape? Odd, because he'd only recently acquired it from a heap of clothing found on the grounds near the bandits camp, feels something, but is not quite sure what it is so shrugs, mumbles a bit to himself about random topics so as to make his post a bit longer so that you have to read more before finally getting to his init roll and then yells "Ah ha! Yon outlaw-type things, I task you with defeating these bandits, for they are Workers of the Bandit High Command, some with quite impressive resumes or so they say, and they are feeling quite upwardly mobile so here to prove a point to their superiors, which of course would be me. You can tell because of the ham flavored appendages. They don't just give these to everyone you know. So drop your weapons and run away before I unleash these ferocious bandits upon ye!" (Intimidation of All Ham Flavored Humanoids: 20)
"Oh and... Ready!" (Init: 12)
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Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
SL4 5 for 6 Vs Kat - that's right one of the bandits is a woman and you didn't notice because why should it be a big deal, she's just as capable of pillaging as the men. Takes longer in the bathcave though.
Snoutlaw Captain : Seeing the deliciously crumbed arms and legs of the Knight, the Snoutlaw Captains clenches his fist and makes a low, growling snuffle. TBK feels a sudden shudder, as if his body is trying to move against his will.
TBK Wisdom: save, DC 12, or be paralysed but you may retry the save at the end of each future turn.
The Dim Colored and apparently also Dim Witted Knight is frozen in his tracks by the snuffling before him. (DC:12 Save: 6)
Luckily for him, in his paralyzed state he seems only like a great slab of bacon, and what with the snoutlaws being, well, snouty, the disguise should keep him safe for surely they are not of the great Snoutlaw Cannibal Clann.
Arrows fly through the air, ripping into the Bandit crew. Jefe and Healy grunt as their flesh is torn into. Kat whimpers, not because she's a woman, but because she's dead. But she dies just as well as any man could, sisters. Better in fact, and with 25% less hit points.
"Fewer!" Pipes up Healy.
**** off Healy. Fine, fewer hit points. End the inequality now! Anyway Juan is miraculously arrow-free, his constant shuffling and whinging making him a tough target, even for an archer with the Eye of the Swine(tm).
Stumpy Greg bellows and charges the Snoutlaw Captain with his glaive couched against his chest. Clop. Squeak. Clop. Squeak. Clop. Squeak.
Unwilling to wait for him to get there, the Bandits spring to life - forgetting their disciplined defensive stance and charging into the long grass with dreams of the songs heroes will sing of them, to them, while they sit in comfort in Bandit High Command.
Juan vs Snoutlaw 2 20 for 2 - He nicks the snoutlaw's arm, but the creature barely notices
Clop. Squeak
Healy vs Snoutlaw 3 20 for 7 - Healy's thrust catches his target's side, slipping through the stitching of his armour, the blade returning reassuringly bloodied.
Clop. Squeak
Jefe vs Snoutlaw 1 4 for 7 - Distracted by his squads indiscipline, el Jefe's half-hearted swing is easily dodged.
Clop. Squeak
Kat vs Snoutlaw 4 Unable to parse dice roll. for Unable to parse dice roll. (it's important to her that she feels like she did her best). There is the briefest flicker of a twitch from Kat's corpse.
Clop. Squeak.
"HA HAAAAAAA!" Greg screams.
6 for 11
Alas he bellows a little early, and the Snoutlaw Captain pivots to the right. One of Greg's wheels hits a stone and he drops his glaive.
Boar : 2
In it's cage the boar kicks and squeals and butts against the bars of the cage but to no avail.
Burt feels invigorated after touching himself for a turn, and seems like he gains a temporary boost to his vitality. If he had to put a number on it, he'd say maybe 4 points or so. Have at you! He yells, and begins having at them. He charges after Healy's bandit, because all that blood gushing from its side really catches the eye, the way it sparkles in the sun.
Attack: 9 Damage: 12
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
Reminder of Init order : Burt - Snoutlaws - tBK - Greg - Bandits - Boar
Burt's murderous slash goes wide. Snoutlaw #3s little piggy eyes widen (a little, they're still little piggy eyes) in rage, so much so that he totally skips Snoutlaws 1 and 2 and thrusts his porksword straight at Burt - attack 11 for 2
The Snoutlaw Captain has nothing to say about this glory-hunting display - it's clear from the way he's brandishing his cloven fist like a chubby Ronny Jame Dio that he's focusing on something. Also, he just jumped like 3 people so who is he to talk?
Meanwhile, the NPCs that no one but me cares about charge into melee range to continue their deadly struggle :
S1 vs Jefe - 8 for 5 - Jefe is not a good way after that one. All that's keeping him going is the knowledge that the big-wigs he's protecting will definitely promote him if he can just hold on....
S2 vs Juan - 13 for 7 - Juan is clinging on to dear life at this point. Kat's corpse rolls over and tries to say something about how this is typical of the patriarchy, looking after their own, and how if the DM was a woman this wouldn't be happening. There probably wouldn't be any need for this kind of conflict at all, since there are other ways to get - Oh shut up Kat, you're dead! Finally, you have the equality you wanted - corpses can't talk independent of gender.
S4 emerges from the long grass having slain his quarry, beating his chest with his bow and snuffling up a storm, like a barnyard Sandpeople. "Arrrrrnh! ar-ar-ar-Arrrrrrnh!" . Not because I'm going easy on you, because he was too far away to attack anyone this turn. Promise. Check the Map of your Mind, you know it to be true!
Burt is quite thankful he touched himself earlier, as that porksword doesn't feel as delicious as it looks. As a reaction, however, he slips on his shades and straightens his tie under his sweet FBI windbreaker.
Playtime's over, *****es.
Intimidation of these fools: 8
He kinda pokes himself in the eye with the glasses and gets his tie caught in the zipper of the windbreaker to decrease the overall intimidating effect
The slab of bacon just lies on the ground doing what bacon does whenever it's not on a plate somewhere accompanied by other less delicious foods. Which let's face it could be any food at all, I mean, it is bacon! Why, bacon is that one smokey, salty meat that makes so many more things delicious. Pancakes, great, yummy, great start to a nice relaxing morning. A little maple syrup, not that corn syrup stuff you find on most grocers shelves, the real stuff, tapped from a tree warmed just a touch before pouring over that stack of flap jacks. Mmmm, you think to yourself. You're happy. You smile just a little as you think of the first bite... And then bacon! I mean yeah, the pancakes sounded good and all, but now someones gone and laid bacon down beside it all. That delicious aroma filling the air, little bacon molecules bouncing around your nasal cavity doing a little dance with the old olfactory receptors. (I could go on all day you know.)
maybe this is a bad time to remind you but you're more of a big slab of reformed ham, like cheap Gammon. Not to say that you can't be delicious, but don't get notions!
Greg picks up his Glaive and swings it at the Snoutlaw Captain :
Attack : 9 for 11 - I say "At" but it doesn't even qualify as "in the general direction of".
The Bandits meanwhile hold their ground to a man. Sorry, to a person. Each one eager to prove their worth as better NPC than that stupid Barbarian cripple who can't hit a barely-moving target.
Juan vs Snoutlaw 2 13 for 6
Healy vs Snoutlaw 3 23 for 6
Jefe vs Snoutlaw 1 23 for 6
Meanwhile that Boar is still wigging out 16
Crit rolls for Healy 3 and Jefe 4
With a pained roar, Healy pirropiroepirhou spins around and decapitates Snoutlaw 3, who's porcine head sails through the air and lands by the cage. The boar squeals like a stone wedged in a lawnmower's blades, flinging itself at the cage door - the whole assembly topples out of the wagon and crashes to the ground, collapsing on impact. The boar is now free.
Jefe and Juan find their marks, leaving both of their quarries bloodied and severely weakened but standing.
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
Burt, feeling again mildly invigorated for around 4 points from touching himself earlier, now leaps over to that one dude that's making his buddy, The I've-run-out-of-different-ways-to-say-black Knight, lay there like some lump of cheap, useless, delicious, juicy, mouth watering ham. Have at you! He cries, once again having at them. He leaps to the side of the snoutlaw captain and attempts to stab him in that little fleshy part right under the ribs with his rapier:
Attack: 22 Damage: 9
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
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Something tingles a bit on the back of his "arm", but the smell of bacon keeps the Ever Growing Descriptions of Colorless Colors Colored Knight from noticing anything is amiss. He does however notice Burt having yet another meaty treat without so much as offering a nibble. "Ye sure are a hungry one there Burt." He says jovially as his mind shouts to itself, No, no, I wouldn't hear of having a bite of your smoked hammy treat there, but thanks for offering all the same!
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
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Sorry to interrupt - is there a way to stop getting notifications from this thread?
Tools and unsubscribe in the upper right corner....but why would you want to do that
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
"Feet!", exclaims the Nubby Nightshaded Knight. "Good sir, while I gladly support your right to 'unsubscribe', whatever in the world that may be, using yon tools of which Burt spaketh, would it be too much to ask that you leave your feet here with us? It seems I've misplaced mine, and yours look quite cozy."
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
Site Rules & Guidelines || Tooltips || Homebrew FAQ || Snippet Codes || Syllvva's Guides
Everyone takes defensive positions in an arc with the cave behind them. I'd be more specific but I don't want to draw a map on a napkin and you can't make me. Yodels and snorts echo to the left, to the right, getting closer, closer. Then silence, broken only by a faint patter-patter from somewhere near Juan's feet.
"Those yodels, man, they're all wrong man.... Outlaws don't snort, this ain't right, this ain't right...." he whines
"Park that shit, Juan!" Jefe barks but he persists. "This is it, man, our gooses are cooked"
"Geese" the healer - who coincidentally is named Hans Healy, as he took his mothers maiden name when she split from his dad otherwise (true story) he'd be called Hans Neesontowse - pipes up.
"Man, what does it matter, it's ******* cooked!"
But bladder and lungs voided he falls silent, leaving no sound but the faint breeze through grass, and the squealing boar thumping it's head against the door of it's cage. I didn't mention that sooner because he's kind of ruining the tension build up.
Immediately in front of you, there's a sudden deep roaring snort and rising up comes what looks like a man with the face of a pig
"No man, it can't be.... Snoutlaws ain't real, man, they ain't real"
But they are real, because we're so far down the pork-hole now that I've had to reflavour the entire module around barbecue meats and condiments. And I can prove they're real because they're rolling init.
Snoutlaw (group - oops, spoiler! There's more than one) init 9
Outlaw (group) init 4
Stumpy Greg Init 12
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
The best way to stop getting notifications is for you to join the campaign, take control of Stumpy Greg the 1 legged centaur and finish the quest. Then the thread will shut up for good. It's the only way to be sure!
Or go wake the real DM and tell him to get a move on!
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
(ooc: heh heh....reflavour...)
Now comfortably back in character, Burt says Heh heh, reflavour. Then he rolls initiative.
Init: 12
Burt leaps into action, right behind one of the bandits. He will then touch himself, and also cast heroism
He will also give bardic inspiration to
batmanthe dark knightBack and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
As Burt's hand comes into contact with.... himself.... he feels a sudden swelling, his body engorged with a strength he didn't know he had. Rather than repulsed at the display, The Black Knights feels something stirring inside himself, like he's ready to do things he normally can't. Or wouldn't. Jefe just gets a little uncomfortable. Healy tries to fight the feeling 7 and manages to keep his hands to himself.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
The Caped Crusader, hey, how did you know he had a cape? Odd, because he'd only recently acquired it from a heap of clothing found on the grounds near the bandits camp, feels something, but is not quite sure what it is so shrugs, mumbles a bit to himself about random topics so as to make his post a bit longer so that you have to read more before finally getting to his init roll and then yells "Ah ha! Yon outlaw-type things, I task you with defeating these bandits, for they are Workers of the Bandit High Command, some with quite impressive resumes or so they say, and they are feeling quite upwardly mobile so here to prove a point to their superiors, which of course would be me. You can tell because of the ham flavored appendages. They don't just give these to everyone you know. So drop your weapons and run away before I unleash these ferocious bandits upon ye!" (Intimidation of All Ham Flavored Humanoids: 20)
"Oh and... Ready!" (Init: 12)
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
Site Rules & Guidelines || Tooltips || Homebrew FAQ || Snippet Codes || Syllvva's Guides
Snoutlaws are go!
SL 1 6 for 7 Vs Jefe
SL 2 17 for 9 Vs Juan
SL3 23 for 7 Vs Healy
SL4 5 for 6 Vs Kat - that's right one of the bandits is a woman and you didn't notice because why should it be a big deal, she's just as capable of pillaging as the men. Takes longer in the bathcave though.
Snoutlaw Captain : Seeing the deliciously crumbed arms and legs of the Knight, the Snoutlaw Captains clenches his fist and makes a low, growling snuffle. TBK feels a sudden shudder, as if his body is trying to move against his will.
TBK Wisdom: save, DC 12, or be paralysed but you may retry the save at the end of each future turn.
Speaking of which, TBK, you're up
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
The Dim Colored and apparently also Dim Witted Knight is frozen in his tracks by the snuffling before him. (DC:12 Save: 6)
Luckily for him, in his paralyzed state he seems only like a great slab of bacon, and what with the snoutlaws being, well, snouty, the disguise should keep him safe for surely they are not of the great Snoutlaw Cannibal Clann.
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
Site Rules & Guidelines || Tooltips || Homebrew FAQ || Snippet Codes || Syllvva's Guides
Arrows fly through the air, ripping into the Bandit crew. Jefe and Healy grunt as their flesh is torn into. Kat whimpers, not because she's a woman, but because she's dead. But she dies just as well as any man could, sisters. Better in fact, and with 25% less hit points.
"Fewer!" Pipes up Healy.
**** off Healy. Fine, fewer hit points. End the inequality now! Anyway Juan is miraculously arrow-free, his constant shuffling and whinging making him a tough target, even for an archer with the Eye of the Swine(tm).
Stumpy Greg bellows and charges the Snoutlaw Captain with his glaive couched against his chest. Clop. Squeak. Clop. Squeak. Clop. Squeak.
Unwilling to wait for him to get there, the Bandits spring to life - forgetting their disciplined defensive stance and charging into the long grass with dreams of the songs heroes will sing of them, to them, while they sit in comfort in Bandit High Command.
Juan vs Snoutlaw 2 20 for 2 - He nicks the snoutlaw's arm, but the creature barely notices
Clop. Squeak
Healy vs Snoutlaw 3 20 for 7 - Healy's thrust catches his target's side, slipping through the stitching of his armour, the blade returning reassuringly bloodied.
Clop. Squeak
Jefe vs Snoutlaw 1 4 for 7 - Distracted by his squads indiscipline, el Jefe's half-hearted swing is easily dodged.
Clop. Squeak
Kat vs Snoutlaw 4 Unable to parse dice roll. for Unable to parse dice roll. (it's important to her that she feels like she did her best). There is the briefest flicker of a twitch from Kat's corpse.
Clop. Squeak.
"HA HAAAAAAA!" Greg screams.
6 for 11
Alas he bellows a little early, and the Snoutlaw Captain pivots to the right. One of Greg's wheels hits a stone and he drops his glaive.
Boar : 2
In it's cage the boar kicks and squeals and butts against the bars of the cage but to no avail.
OK Burt - what you got?
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Burt feels invigorated after touching himself for a turn, and seems like he gains a temporary boost to his vitality. If he had to put a number on it, he'd say maybe 4 points or so. Have at you! He yells, and begins having at them. He charges after Healy's bandit, because all that blood gushing from its side really catches the eye, the way it sparkles in the sun.
Attack: 9 Damage: 12
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
Reminder of Init order : Burt - Snoutlaws - tBK - Greg - Bandits - Boar
Burt's murderous slash goes wide. Snoutlaw #3s little piggy eyes widen (a little, they're still little piggy eyes) in rage, so much so that he totally skips Snoutlaws 1 and 2 and thrusts his porksword straight at Burt - attack 11 for 2
The Snoutlaw Captain has nothing to say about this glory-hunting display - it's clear from the way he's brandishing his cloven fist like a chubby Ronny Jame Dio that he's focusing on something. Also, he just jumped like 3 people so who is he to talk?
Meanwhile, the NPCs that no one but me cares about charge into melee range to continue their deadly struggle :
S1 vs Jefe - 8 for 5 - Jefe is not a good way after that one. All that's keeping him going is the knowledge that the big-wigs he's protecting will definitely promote him if he can just hold on....
S2 vs Juan - 13 for 7 - Juan is clinging on to dear life at this point. Kat's corpse rolls over and tries to say something about how this is typical of the patriarchy, looking after their own, and how if the DM was a woman this wouldn't be happening. There probably wouldn't be any need for this kind of conflict at all, since there are other ways to get - Oh shut up Kat, you're dead! Finally, you have the equality you wanted - corpses can't talk independent of gender.
S4 emerges from the long grass having slain his quarry, beating his chest with his bow and snuffling up a storm, like a barnyard Sandpeople. "Arrrrrnh! ar-ar-ar-Arrrrrrnh!" . Not because I'm going easy on you, because he was too far away to attack anyone this turn. Promise. Check the Map of your Mind, you know it to be true!
tBK - you're up
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Burt is quite thankful he touched himself earlier, as that porksword doesn't feel as delicious as it looks. As a reaction, however, he slips on his shades and straightens his tie under his sweet FBI windbreaker.
Playtime's over, *****es.
Intimidation of these fools: 8
He kinda pokes himself in the eye with the glasses and gets his tie caught in the zipper of the windbreaker to decrease the overall intimidating effect
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
Penny drops on DM doing 4 bludgeoning damage, causing him to realise Burt is a character from a TV show,
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Yes...and should I die, I'll only be back, more powerful than ever.
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
(DC WIS12 Save: 7)
The slab of bacon just lies on the ground doing what bacon does whenever it's not on a plate somewhere accompanied by other less delicious foods. Which let's face it could be any food at all, I mean, it is bacon! Why, bacon is that one smokey, salty meat that makes so many more things delicious. Pancakes, great, yummy, great start to a nice relaxing morning. A little maple syrup, not that corn syrup stuff you find on most grocers shelves, the real stuff, tapped from a tree warmed just a touch before pouring over that stack of flap jacks. Mmmm, you think to yourself. You're happy. You smile just a little as you think of the first bite... And then bacon! I mean yeah, the pancakes sounded good and all, but now someones gone and laid bacon down beside it all. That delicious aroma filling the air, little bacon molecules bouncing around your nasal cavity doing a little dance with the old olfactory receptors. (I could go on all day you know.)
Just like bacon does.
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
Site Rules & Guidelines || Tooltips || Homebrew FAQ || Snippet Codes || Syllvva's Guides
maybe this is a bad time to remind you but you're more of a big slab of reformed ham, like cheap Gammon. Not to say that you can't be delicious, but don't get notions!
Greg picks up his Glaive and swings it at the Snoutlaw Captain :
Attack : 9 for 11 - I say "At" but it doesn't even qualify as "in the general direction of".
The Bandits meanwhile hold their ground to a man. Sorry, to a person. Each one eager to prove their worth as better NPC than that stupid Barbarian cripple who can't hit a barely-moving target.
Juan vs Snoutlaw 2 13 for 6
Healy vs Snoutlaw 3 23 for 6
Jefe vs Snoutlaw 1 23 for 6
Meanwhile that Boar is still wigging out 16
Crit rolls for Healy 3 and Jefe 4
With a pained roar, Healy
pirropiroepirhouspins around and decapitates Snoutlaw 3, who's porcine head sails through the air and lands by the cage. The boar squeals like a stone wedged in a lawnmower's blades, flinging itself at the cage door - the whole assembly topples out of the wagon and crashes to the ground, collapsing on impact. The boar is now free.Jefe and Juan find their marks, leaving both of their quarries bloodied and severely weakened but standing.
Burt, do your thing.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Burt, feeling again mildly invigorated for around 4 points from touching himself earlier, now leaps over to that one dude that's making his buddy, The I've-run-out-of-different-ways-to-say-black Knight, lay there like some lump of cheap, useless, delicious, juicy, mouth watering ham. Have at you! He cries, once again having at them. He leaps to the side of the snoutlaw captain and attempts to stab him in that little fleshy part right under the ribs with his rapier:
Attack: 22 Damage: 9
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.