Started a campaign in Curse of Strahd. Playing a Paladin for the first time. First session I’m using the Detect Evil feature multiple times because the DM is making everything spooky and looks like we’ll be ambushed. Nothing happens.
2 sessions later we are investigating a shop, closed and locked in the middle of the day, and we find something, something that we found before, right before we were attacked by zombies.
i had completely forgotten about the Detect Evil ability I was so gung-ho about. Had I used it we could have killed sleeping vampires. Instead they ambushed us.
have you ever played Jade Empire? There's a quest early game where a merchant wants to find "Feng, flower of the fields" (heavily implied to be his wife) in a swamp, and you end up finding both his wife... and the real Feng. An ox.
I ran a homebrew campaign, and one of the players was a evil warlock that believed nothing could stand in his way, a fighter that just fought to not be bored, and 4 other people. They basically teleported deep below the earth to where the tarrasque was, because they were supposed to stop someone from getting its blood to make a new Karsus' Avatar ritual. When they saw him trying to after the tarrasque they blew up the teleporter to keep him from leaving, but they saw him use a special item that let him teleport back to where he planned, which basically worked as word of recall. They luckily fixed the teleporter after he got the blood. The warlock was fighting the tarrasque and purposely did stupid attack that didn't work, because he didn't know about tarrasques. The 4 others in the party used to teleporter and left him, knowing he would fight on his own, except the fighter. Eventually the warlock just used imprisonment, chaining, and they killed it with silvered weapons. The warlock just went back to the others and said, "Eat it, did it easily."
Little bit of background. Our homebrew campaign world (Wessem) is extremely loosely based on if Briton and Gaul were the Pacific Northwest, this were a low magic world, nobody can see without at least a little bit of light, and I might have overplayed the racism thing to the players.
After adapting the knockoff module to house rules and world, PCs pick up a gaggle of NPCs (eg: cannon fodder) at the local tavern and set off to find some high-level druid or another.
By the time they get to the thinly-veiled copy of crossing through Moria, things have hit the proverbial fan. Dwarf is yelling racist things at the Elf. Elf is making similar remarks to the Dwarf. NPCs are split into newly formed parties based on ethnicity... Gnomes and Dwarves with the Dwarf, Elves with the Elf. Halflings and Humans wondering how long they have to stay.
Campaign ended with a bunch of fantastical humanoid creatures, blind and shouting racist hate speech at one-another in a cave.
Tumlins never are going to get somebody to help them with their crops, are they guys?
Introducing a 9-year-old to the game. New wizard from magic university in Narm comes home to visit parents who run the inn at Hommlet. Parents have gone missing and that's the campaign hook. Wizard kiddo recruits pretty much all the NPCs from the tavern and they look for the ruined castle.
Run into a group of bandits in the woods, and the party roll a series of 1s and 2s. We have a decent laugh about that.
So it's anybody only mostly-dead on the cart, and back to the village for a couple of weeks.
Kiddo recruits a new army of NPCs at the tavern, and back to the adventure.
Next encounter ever is a trio of giant toads. Again, 1s and 2s.
Kiddo and I are in hysterics. Surviving party are dragged back to town.
More recovering from wounds. Hotel tab is racking up (somebody took over from the missing parents). More recruitment of increasingly skeptical NPCs.
Finally get inside the ruined castle. Handful of bandit guards attack and our heroes still roll 1s and 2s.
Down to a party of just 2 PCs. Even the dog got eaten by a green slime. I have tried to explain that it isn't really always supposed to be that funny.
Kiddo keeps asking when can we play Dungeons and Dragons again.
I recently have run some of Ghosts of Saltmarsh. I had used a home brew adventure around level 4 that involved escorting a polymorphed Pirate down to the Temple of Zodgilla (very creative, I know) to get him back. They found Zodgilla’s treasure chambers and looted it. Naturally, that woke him up. All the players were swimming out back to the ship while I was describing him using his radioactive breath to escape. They were all getting onto the ship and this one player, an undead paladin oathbreaker, wanted to do a flip on. He rolled a one. I described how he sunk to the floor and woke up 2 hours later with the ship back in Saltmarsh and him, laying on the ocean floor looking up as Zodgilla burnt him to a crisp. New character.
More of a funny bit, and not entirely stupid, but the saying Curiosity killed the cat can apply. In a recent game our party split, 2 of them hearing something indicating a side quest. They go to a spooky house and see signs that someone is trying to hide in it. So of course they are investigating. Except one is in chain armor and can’t stealth (low rolls) so whoever is hiding knows where they are.
One low perception roll later and our elf has been jumped by the old lady that owns the house, who is poking him with a sharp stick enough to do some damage. Fortunately the rest of the party came and sorted things out, or else we might have had homocide on top of breaking and entering.
I play a Tabaxi Fighter in my current campaign and you'd think she'd be good with acrobatics, being a cat and all. She failed every acrobatics check last week, including rolling TWO nat 1s when I was rolling with advantage. She definitely did NOT land on her feet! She also set off two traps, but the second one she volunteered to set off since she probably would anyway. :)
Couple of weeks ago, our DM was away so we had one of our other players run a one-shot. We were exploring a cave and our Goliath decided he was going ride his horse into the cave. The mental image of a Goliath, on a horse, scraping his helmet against the ceiling constantly had us *howling and crying* for a good five minutes. It was glorious!
Our myrmidon fighter was sick of critically fumbling and losing his sword, so he tethered the hilt to his wrist. The next time he critically fumbled and loosed his weapon, thanks to the tether it didnt go flying off - it simply swang back at him.
I was just running my ghosts of Saltmarsh campaign. The characters were going through Isle of the Abbey. When they fought the swarm of skeletons, one person started singing Dancing Queen by ABA and wanted to roll performance. He crit. The skeletons started dancing and annoyed all baddies. After clearing out the Abbey. The players decide to make it a night club. They used downtime to make a Disco Ball magic item to spruce it up. When it was time to play the Final Enemy, the players decided they didn’t want to do recon. They traveled inland to find a sailor they had traveled with to find the location of the Temple of Zodgilla (see earlier post) to ask Zodgilla to step on the Sahuagin. One character stayed behind with a characters kid. He was casting light and watching as the baby tried to touch it. One plot point later the baby formed a pact with Asmodeus to gain warlock powers and crush the guy who was teasing him with light. We spent a legit 30 minutes making a character sheet for the baby. It was great.
I don’t think my players will ever get over Tsolenka Pass. For many reasons, this little section of CoS became some of the most fun I’ve had DMing them. Spoilers…
The dwarven paladin was not having a good day. He’d already been locked down in a fight where he’d just failed save after save, just being a punch bag for the NPCs as the rest of the party got on with the slaying. They deal with a load of character backstory stuff, re-unite some siblings and tie up a load of loose ends before heading up the mountain to be faced with their first obstacle. The gate.
They rightly assume that circumnavigating the gate would be bad, the portcullis raises and they umm and ahh for too long at the curtain of green flame, so I start the portcullis slowing closing and the gnomish arcane trickster just runs for it, setting herself on fire then rolling around in the snow at the other side to put herself out. Claiming herself ‘fine’ and the remainder of the party believing that none of them have dispel magic prepared, do the same. All taking damage, whilst leaving their cart and trusty cart horse on the other side. In freezing temperatures, with no food. The cart horse by the way is called Five. There’s a reason for that.
They make a few more poor decisions making camping / resting awkward so move on to a bridge spanning a 240ft chasm. A roc swoops down on them and they all make a save to bail into one of the guard towers, apart from the monk, who critically fails and is scooped up in a talon. From the safety of a guard tower they open up on the roc and during the first round the monk slips free and rushes to the other guard tower. …completely unnoticed… So the party are relatively safe, I conclude that the roc will try and grab them but will eventually give up and look for something else to eat. No problem I think, a roc is serious business. Nope, the paladin and the gnome misty step onto it’s back, the gnome chucks oil on it and the paladin lights it up.
Now we have two party members on top of a flaming bird the size of an airliner, the monk is in cover and is nopeing hard, and the warlock (forgot to mention, her character is basically straight out of Hot Topic. Most things she’s just too cool to deal with). The gargantuan bird jumps from the bridge and dives 240ft into the chasm into the icy depths of the river that runs through it to put itself out, all with a gnome and dwarf clutching onto it’s back. Incredibly they make several saves to stay on there. The bird, now quite agitated by them decides to slam them into the bridge. Ridiculously they manage to get back onto the bridge and actually slay the damn thing. They find the monk safe and sound in the other guard house. Where he’s been throughout this whole encounter.
I then read ahead in the book and start to giggle. When I’ve calmed down I continue their ascent up the mountain side path. Cliff face on one side, sheer drop on the other. Above them, on the ledge is a giant mountain goat, staring at them with utter malevolence and hatred (as they do). The dwarven paladin lands a spell locking it down for one minute, easily enough for them to get by this beast of obvious evil intent. It’s a wise move, the gnome and the dwarf aren’t in the greatest shape right now. However the warlock has other ideas andthrows a couple of eldritch blasts it’s way. It being just a giant goat (because it’s funnier), is slain instantly and it’s 9ft tall form is barrelling down the mountainside towards the party. They roll saves, the dwarf fails hard and is collected by the goat and bounces off the edge of the cliff.
Now I’ve already established that this is at least a 240ft drop, and the guy playing the dwarf has kinda accepted his fate. The rest of the party is oblivious and joking about what’s happening when I know we’re looking at character death here because if the fall didn’t end him, the goat landing on top of him at terminal velocity almost certainly would. I asked what he does to try and save himself and he just shrugs at me 'I've got nothing left'… So I throw him the Hollywood cliff vine as a last save, I make the DC high, but I was at least going to give him a chance not to go out this way. He saves and the other party members look over the ledge and find him grumpily hanging from the vine 20ft down.
Later they come across a barbarian camp and manage to ingratiate themselves among the hunters by regaling them the story of how this dwarf and gnome took down a roc. Full on Luke and 3PO style with minor illusion. It was actually really cool, especially when the goth warlock, who was looking at her spells, realised she had dispel magic.
The group I play with is built up of almost exclusively first time players. This includes me, although I'm a long time fantasy fan and reader of Forgotten Realms based novels. Anyway, one of my favorite things about our party is our druid. Again this is a first time player who isn't terribly familiar with RPG themes. Over the course of the first session the druid character ends up evolving into a schizophrenic who's mind was splintered by the trauma of her past. Now the DM rolls a D20 every so often to determine which personality is "in control". She is a lovable, oblivious character, so full of unintentional class contradictions that we never end a session without laughing hysterically. Over the course of the last few months our DRUID has intentionally set a forest on fire to escape a giant, seduced and subsequently attacked the captain of the guard in our homebrew town (personality shift during "the deed"), threatened/intimidated the wife of an NPC in an attempt to coerce her and her family into farming our newly acquired land, and many other shenanigans. The real kicker was when we captured a drow priestess who led a group that attacked our town. We all agreed that we should interrogate her. Without hesitation our druid shouts for her to be drawn and quartered. DRAWN AND QUARTERED!
The party (a drow, a dwarf and a halfling), whilst trying to find an assassin in Neverwinter, spotted a mysterious cloaked figure entering a tavern via the cellar. They decided that they too wanted to sneak in and see if they could find out who the figure was, possibly get the jump on them. This played out as follows:
Druid: Let us hide the halfling in a beer barrel, we will then deliver it to the innkeeper so that she is smuggled into the tavern.
Dwarf: That is a great idea. But how do we find an empty barrel?
Druid: ... Let us open one of these barrels and drink the contents.
Dwarf: Very well. Cheers!
Me: ... everyone assisting in the drinking the entire barrel of beer roll a constitution check.
*Everyone but the halfling fails*
... Seraphina, you have one or two swigs until you decide that this isn't going to end well. You two are now blind drunk as you guzzle most of the contents, the rest spilling out onto the cobbled ground.
Halfling: You know what, I don't think I even want to get in the barrel. Let's just go in.
The party then waltzed in through the front door and started a tavern brawl. Luckily for them, the cloaked figure was the person they were looking for and he ended up very dead in the chaos.
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Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Running an encounter. Players are up against a deadly challenge for lvl 1 characters, but they had advantage of ambushing from atop a 30 foot ledge. Among enemies is a cleric that uses Spiritual Weapon to attack the groups bard.
The bard decides that to get away from the weapon he would use his action to climb down the cliff. Roles a 5 on his check, falls to his death.
The party’s cleric, not having healing word, decides to climb down and heal him. Fails his check and falls to his death.
The Barbarian and Rouges finish the battle. Cleric succeeded his death saves, and treated with medicine. Bard failed.
Afterward the bard’s player realized he could have gained cover by going prone, or tried backing away from the ledge, rather than trying to get to the ground and closer to the dangerous enemies.
I recently started with a new group that was very lax on rules. If you could roll high enough and describe it well enough, you could do it (most of the time). I played an elderly tiefling grandma who just went by "Sue." She was your stereotypical grandmother: She loved baking cookies, she was old and hunched over, and she had a cane-umbrella-weapon. I had her introduced to the party by falling from the sky with her umbrella in a Mary Poppins-esque way, but accidentally closed the umbrella to early and fell 100 feet in the air and got knocked out by the impact. She then woke up half an hour later finding herself wrapped up in rope in a cave with the rest of the party around her. She looks around at the party, all young people in contrast to the elderly woman. She then opens her handbag, pulls out a 3-foot long razor sharp cookie in the shape of a knife, saws through the rope, and starts yelling at the party and smacking at then with her cane. I'll also mention that she has a hand-bag of holding, a magical bag that can summon cookies of any shape, size, and flavor. She then walks out on the cave the party dwells in, gets him in the head with a rock the ranger threw, passes out, and the session ends.
I'm in a two person one shot because a friend asked me to help with showing someone how to play dnd. I'm playing a dragonborn barbarian and he's playing a human paladin that was built for him since he didn't know how (the dm figured a beefy healy boi would survive longer.)
After so much hard work keeping this guy alive it all went to his head and he thinks he is unstoppable. We're standing in front of a well with three undead bosses surrounding us and their leader (the currently non-violent BBFE) asking what we want and why one of the undead bosses didn't show (we killed him because we assumed dead guy exploding out of coffin = bad)
I knew we were possibly in trouble and as a brain-dead barbarian (4 int) I still did my best to explain the situation.
The paladin? nah. he says, and I quote, "I tried to reason with your missing martyr before i had to end him. You all should be glad i am as lenient as i am."
We are now waiting on the DM's verdict. I'm hoping he has pity on us but we barely made it to the end alive having had to use trickery just to get around to of the bosses to begin with lol.
The campaign I run the party went to the tavern/Inn to gather information about some bounties but instead of persuading npc's normally two of the party member's thought seducing and laying with every person in the Inn was a good idea, some how they succeeded to seduce everyone apart from the Inn keep himself. It was out of control... Meanwhile the other party member's got information normally XD
Another situation in the same campaign our druid has decided collecting the signs from every place they go is a good idea, she's made makeshift sign chest armour with one, and the rest in her backpack.
And lastly this one happened in a campaign I play as a pc. Our Rouge (one of the same people in the first situation mind you) decided to cannibalise a bandit we all just killed infront of our righteous paladin which resulted in PvP. The Paladin destroyed the rouge and as a chance to keep his now dead player the DM said in the afterlife he saw the demon of death or whatever and offered his life back at a cost. He accepted without knowing what he meant and when returned his was reincarnated as a slime (originally was human) and yes apparently it's a reference to the anime.
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DM and player since late 2018. Been interested in D&D for a few years prior.
I'm from Western Australia, androgynous female, artist, gamer and lover or all things fantasy.
Someone revive this thread
I'm surprised this is still alive. I guess my little poem helped
it's been a long time...
Started a campaign in Curse of Strahd. Playing a Paladin for the first time. First session I’m using the Detect Evil feature multiple times because the DM is making everything spooky and looks like we’ll be ambushed. Nothing happens.
2 sessions later we are investigating a shop, closed and locked in the middle of the day, and we find something, something that we found before, right before we were attacked by zombies.
i had completely forgotten about the Detect Evil ability I was so gung-ho about. Had I used it we could have killed sleeping vampires. Instead they ambushed us.
moral of the story, never lose your paranoia
have you ever played Jade Empire? There's a quest early game where a merchant wants to find "Feng, flower of the fields" (heavily implied to be his wife) in a swamp, and you end up finding both his wife... and the real Feng. An ox.
this was a reply to a post from a long time ago
I'm the idiot that decides to make Phil Swift in DnD.
I ran a homebrew campaign, and one of the players was a evil warlock that believed nothing could stand in his way, a fighter that just fought to not be bored, and 4 other people. They basically teleported deep below the earth to where the tarrasque was, because they were supposed to stop someone from getting its blood to make a new Karsus' Avatar ritual. When they saw him trying to after the tarrasque they blew up the teleporter to keep him from leaving, but they saw him use a special item that let him teleport back to where he planned, which basically worked as word of recall. They luckily fixed the teleporter after he got the blood. The warlock was fighting the tarrasque and purposely did stupid attack that didn't work, because he didn't know about tarrasques. The 4 others in the party used to teleporter and left him, knowing he would fight on his own, except the fighter. Eventually the warlock just used imprisonment, chaining, and they killed it with silvered weapons. The warlock just went back to the others and said, "Eat it, did it easily."
Also known as CrafterB and DankMemer.
Here, have some homebrew classes! Subclasses to? Why not races. Feats, feats as well. I have a lot of magic items. Lastly I got monsters, fun, fun times.
Little bit of background. Our homebrew campaign world (Wessem) is extremely loosely based on if Briton and Gaul were the Pacific Northwest, this were a low magic world, nobody can see without at least a little bit of light, and I might have overplayed the racism thing to the players.
After adapting the knockoff module to house rules and world, PCs pick up a gaggle of NPCs (eg: cannon fodder) at the local tavern and set off to find some high-level druid or another.
By the time they get to the thinly-veiled copy of crossing through Moria, things have hit the proverbial fan. Dwarf is yelling racist things at the Elf. Elf is making similar remarks to the Dwarf. NPCs are split into newly formed parties based on ethnicity... Gnomes and Dwarves with the Dwarf, Elves with the Elf. Halflings and Humans wondering how long they have to stay.
Campaign ended with a bunch of fantastical humanoid creatures, blind and shouting racist hate speech at one-another in a cave.
Tumlins never are going to get somebody to help them with their crops, are they guys?
Oh for f*** sake.
Here's a happier one. Not stupid, just funny.
Introducing a 9-year-old to the game. New wizard from magic university in Narm comes home to visit parents who run the inn at Hommlet. Parents have gone missing and that's the campaign hook. Wizard kiddo recruits pretty much all the NPCs from the tavern and they look for the ruined castle.
Run into a group of bandits in the woods, and the party roll a series of 1s and 2s. We have a decent laugh about that.
So it's anybody only mostly-dead on the cart, and back to the village for a couple of weeks.
Kiddo recruits a new army of NPCs at the tavern, and back to the adventure.
Next encounter ever is a trio of giant toads. Again, 1s and 2s.
Kiddo and I are in hysterics. Surviving party are dragged back to town.
More recovering from wounds. Hotel tab is racking up (somebody took over from the missing parents). More recruitment of increasingly skeptical NPCs.
Finally get inside the ruined castle. Handful of bandit guards attack and our heroes still roll 1s and 2s.
Down to a party of just 2 PCs. Even the dog got eaten by a green slime. I have tried to explain that it isn't really always supposed to be that funny.
Kiddo keeps asking when can we play Dungeons and Dragons again.
I recently have run some of Ghosts of Saltmarsh. I had used a home brew adventure around level 4 that involved escorting a polymorphed Pirate down to the Temple of Zodgilla (very creative, I know) to get him back. They found Zodgilla’s treasure chambers and looted it. Naturally, that woke him up. All the players were swimming out back to the ship while I was describing him using his radioactive breath to escape. They were all getting onto the ship and this one player, an undead paladin oathbreaker, wanted to do a flip on. He rolled a one. I described how he sunk to the floor and woke up 2 hours later with the ship back in Saltmarsh and him, laying on the ocean floor looking up as Zodgilla burnt him to a crisp. New character.
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More of a funny bit, and not entirely stupid, but the saying Curiosity killed the cat can apply. In a recent game our party split, 2 of them hearing something indicating a side quest. They go to a spooky house and see signs that someone is trying to hide in it. So of course they are investigating. Except one is in chain armor and can’t stealth (low rolls) so whoever is hiding knows where they are.
One low perception roll later and our elf has been jumped by the old lady that owns the house, who is poking him with a sharp stick enough to do some damage. Fortunately the rest of the party came and sorted things out, or else we might have had homocide on top of breaking and entering.
Two amusing stories from recent nights...
I play a Tabaxi Fighter in my current campaign and you'd think she'd be good with acrobatics, being a cat and all. She failed every acrobatics check last week, including rolling TWO nat 1s when I was rolling with advantage. She definitely did NOT land on her feet! She also set off two traps, but the second one she volunteered to set off since she probably would anyway. :)
Couple of weeks ago, our DM was away so we had one of our other players run a one-shot. We were exploring a cave and our Goliath decided he was going ride his horse into the cave. The mental image of a Goliath, on a horse, scraping his helmet against the ceiling constantly had us *howling and crying* for a good five minutes. It was glorious!
Our myrmidon fighter was sick of critically fumbling and losing his sword, so he tethered the hilt to his wrist. The next time he critically fumbled and loosed his weapon, thanks to the tether it didnt go flying off - it simply swang back at him.
Turns out thighs make pretty decent sheaths.
I was just running my ghosts of Saltmarsh campaign. The characters were going through Isle of the Abbey. When they fought the swarm of skeletons, one person started singing Dancing Queen by ABA and wanted to roll performance. He crit. The skeletons started dancing and annoyed all baddies. After clearing out the Abbey. The players decide to make it a night club. They used downtime to make a Disco Ball magic item to spruce it up. When it was time to play the Final Enemy, the players decided they didn’t want to do recon. They traveled inland to find a sailor they had traveled with to find the location of the Temple of Zodgilla (see earlier post) to ask Zodgilla to step on the Sahuagin. One character stayed behind with a characters kid. He was casting light and watching as the baby tried to touch it. One plot point later the baby formed a pact with Asmodeus to gain warlock powers and crush the guy who was teasing him with light. We spent a legit 30 minutes making a character sheet for the baby. It was great.
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I don’t think my players will ever get over Tsolenka Pass. For many reasons, this little section of CoS became some of the most fun I’ve had DMing them. Spoilers…
The dwarven paladin was not having a good day. He’d already been locked down in a fight where he’d just failed save after save, just being a punch bag for the NPCs as the rest of the party got on with the slaying. They deal with a load of character backstory stuff, re-unite some siblings and tie up a load of loose ends before heading up the mountain to be faced with their first obstacle. The gate.
They rightly assume that circumnavigating the gate would be bad, the portcullis raises and they umm and ahh for too long at the curtain of green flame, so I start the portcullis slowing closing and the gnomish arcane trickster just runs for it, setting herself on fire then rolling around in the snow at the other side to put herself out. Claiming herself ‘fine’ and the remainder of the party believing that none of them have dispel magic prepared, do the same. All taking damage, whilst leaving their cart and trusty cart horse on the other side. In freezing temperatures, with no food. The cart horse by the way is called Five. There’s a reason for that.
They make a few more poor decisions making camping / resting awkward so move on to a bridge spanning a 240ft chasm. A roc swoops down on them and they all make a save to bail into one of the guard towers, apart from the monk, who critically fails and is scooped up in a talon. From the safety of a guard tower they open up on the roc and during the first round the monk slips free and rushes to the other guard tower. …completely unnoticed… So the party are relatively safe, I conclude that the roc will try and grab them but will eventually give up and look for something else to eat. No problem I think, a roc is serious business. Nope, the paladin and the gnome misty step onto it’s back, the gnome chucks oil on it and the paladin lights it up.
Now we have two party members on top of a flaming bird the size of an airliner, the monk is in cover and is nopeing hard, and the warlock (forgot to mention, her character is basically straight out of Hot Topic. Most things she’s just too cool to deal with). The gargantuan bird jumps from the bridge and dives 240ft into the chasm into the icy depths of the river that runs through it to put itself out, all with a gnome and dwarf clutching onto it’s back. Incredibly they make several saves to stay on there. The bird, now quite agitated by them decides to slam them into the bridge. Ridiculously they manage to get back onto the bridge and actually slay the damn thing. They find the monk safe and sound in the other guard house. Where he’s been throughout this whole encounter.
I then read ahead in the book and start to giggle. When I’ve calmed down I continue their ascent up the mountain side path. Cliff face on one side, sheer drop on the other. Above them, on the ledge is a giant mountain goat, staring at them with utter malevolence and hatred (as they do). The dwarven paladin lands a spell locking it down for one minute, easily enough for them to get by this beast of obvious evil intent. It’s a wise move, the gnome and the dwarf aren’t in the greatest shape right now. However the warlock has other ideas and throws a couple of eldritch blasts it’s way. It being just a giant goat (because it’s funnier), is slain instantly and it’s 9ft tall form is barrelling down the mountainside towards the party. They roll saves, the dwarf fails hard and is collected by the goat and bounces off the edge of the cliff.
Now I’ve already established that this is at least a 240ft drop, and the guy playing the dwarf has kinda accepted his fate. The rest of the party is oblivious and joking about what’s happening when I know we’re looking at character death here because if the fall didn’t end him, the goat landing on top of him at terminal velocity almost certainly would. I asked what he does to try and save himself and he just shrugs at me 'I've got nothing left'… So I throw him the Hollywood cliff vine as a last save, I make the DC high, but I was at least going to give him a chance not to go out this way. He saves and the other party members look over the ledge and find him grumpily hanging from the vine 20ft down.
Later they come across a barbarian camp and manage to ingratiate themselves among the hunters by regaling them the story of how this dwarf and gnome took down a roc. Full on Luke and 3PO style with minor illusion. It was actually really cool, especially when the goth warlock, who was looking at her spells, realised she had dispel magic.
The group I play with is built up of almost exclusively first time players. This includes me, although I'm a long time fantasy fan and reader of Forgotten Realms based novels. Anyway, one of my favorite things about our party is our druid. Again this is a first time player who isn't terribly familiar with RPG themes. Over the course of the first session the druid character ends up evolving into a schizophrenic who's mind was splintered by the trauma of her past. Now the DM rolls a D20 every so often to determine which personality is "in control". She is a lovable, oblivious character, so full of unintentional class contradictions that we never end a session without laughing hysterically. Over the course of the last few months our DRUID has intentionally set a forest on fire to escape a giant, seduced and subsequently attacked the captain of the guard in our homebrew town (personality shift during "the deed"), threatened/intimidated the wife of an NPC in an attempt to coerce her and her family into farming our newly acquired land, and many other shenanigans. The real kicker was when we captured a drow priestess who led a group that attacked our town. We all agreed that we should interrogate her. Without hesitation our druid shouts for her to be drawn and quartered. DRAWN AND QUARTERED!
The party (a drow, a dwarf and a halfling), whilst trying to find an assassin in Neverwinter, spotted a mysterious cloaked figure entering a tavern via the cellar. They decided that they too wanted to sneak in and see if they could find out who the figure was, possibly get the jump on them. This played out as follows:
Druid: Let us hide the halfling in a beer barrel, we will then deliver it to the innkeeper so that she is smuggled into the tavern.
Dwarf: That is a great idea. But how do we find an empty barrel?
Druid: ... Let us open one of these barrels and drink the contents.
Dwarf: Very well. Cheers!
Me: ... everyone assisting in the drinking the entire barrel of beer roll a constitution check.
*Everyone but the halfling fails*
... Seraphina, you have one or two swigs until you decide that this isn't going to end well. You two are now blind drunk as you guzzle most of the contents, the rest spilling out onto the cobbled ground.
Halfling: You know what, I don't think I even want to get in the barrel. Let's just go in.
The party then waltzed in through the front door and started a tavern brawl. Luckily for them, the cloaked figure was the person they were looking for and he ended up very dead in the chaos.
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
Running an encounter. Players are up against a deadly challenge for lvl 1 characters, but they had advantage of ambushing from atop a 30 foot ledge. Among enemies is a cleric that uses Spiritual Weapon to attack the groups bard.
The bard decides that to get away from the weapon he would use his action to climb down the cliff. Roles a 5 on his check, falls to his death.
The party’s cleric, not having healing word, decides to climb down and heal him. Fails his check and falls to his death.
The Barbarian and Rouges finish the battle. Cleric succeeded his death saves, and treated with medicine. Bard failed.
Afterward the bard’s player realized he could have gained cover by going prone, or tried backing away from the ledge, rather than trying to get to the ground and closer to the dangerous enemies.
I recently started with a new group that was very lax on rules. If you could roll high enough and describe it well enough, you could do it (most of the time). I played an elderly tiefling grandma who just went by "Sue." She was your stereotypical grandmother: She loved baking cookies, she was old and hunched over, and she had a cane-umbrella-weapon. I had her introduced to the party by falling from the sky with her umbrella in a Mary Poppins-esque way, but accidentally closed the umbrella to early and fell 100 feet in the air and got knocked out by the impact. She then woke up half an hour later finding herself wrapped up in rope in a cave with the rest of the party around her. She looks around at the party, all young people in contrast to the elderly woman. She then opens her handbag, pulls out a 3-foot long razor sharp cookie in the shape of a knife, saws through the rope, and starts yelling at the party and smacking at then with her cane. I'll also mention that she has a hand-bag of holding, a magical bag that can summon cookies of any shape, size, and flavor. She then walks out on the cave the party dwells in, gets him in the head with a rock the ranger threw, passes out, and the session ends.
That group is pretty weird, but I like it.
it's been a long time...
Quote from one of my games, "I will go to space! And I will be a Hippo! The god of all Hippos!!!"
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
I'm in a two person one shot because a friend asked me to help with showing someone how to play dnd. I'm playing a dragonborn barbarian and he's playing a human paladin that was built for him since he didn't know how (the dm figured a beefy healy boi would survive longer.)
After so much hard work keeping this guy alive it all went to his head and he thinks he is unstoppable. We're standing in front of a well with three undead bosses surrounding us and their leader (the currently non-violent BBFE) asking what we want and why one of the undead bosses didn't show (we killed him because we assumed dead guy exploding out of coffin = bad)
I knew we were possibly in trouble and as a brain-dead barbarian (4 int) I still did my best to explain the situation.
The paladin? nah. he says, and I quote, "I tried to reason with your missing martyr before i had to end him. You all should be glad i am as lenient as i am."
We are now waiting on the DM's verdict. I'm hoping he has pity on us but we barely made it to the end alive having had to use trickery just to get around to of the bosses to begin with lol.
Full of rice, beans, and bad ideas.
The campaign I run the party went to the tavern/Inn to gather information about some bounties but instead of persuading npc's normally two of the party member's thought seducing and laying with every person in the Inn was a good idea, some how they succeeded to seduce everyone apart from the Inn keep himself. It was out of control...
Meanwhile the other party member's got information normally XD
Another situation in the same campaign our druid has decided collecting the signs from every place they go is a good idea, she's made makeshift sign chest armour with one, and the rest in her backpack.
And lastly this one happened in a campaign I play as a pc. Our Rouge (one of the same people in the first situation mind you) decided to cannibalise a bandit we all just killed infront of our righteous paladin which resulted in PvP. The Paladin destroyed the rouge and as a chance to keep his now dead player the DM said in the afterlife he saw the demon of death or whatever and offered his life back at a cost. He accepted without knowing what he meant and when returned his was reincarnated as a slime (originally was human) and yes apparently it's a reference to the anime.
DM and player since late 2018. Been interested in D&D for a few years prior.
I'm from Western Australia, androgynous female, artist, gamer and lover or all things fantasy.
My Linktree: https://linktr.ee/ashenonicreations