We were just starting a campaign, when we came across this cave/hole thing, I mean it was 3 minutes into the campaign. I decided to explore the hole. Everyone else just looked at me. So I said I"m going to explore the hole. The DM was like, "are you sure?", I said, yes, you know I never say I"m going to do something unless I'm going to do it. She said OK, roll a d20 just to check your success. The roll was something like a 19, Then another d20 to check initiative, another d20 for something else, she was trying to get me to realize not to do this. Bit did I take the hint, NOOOO! so I succeeded. So I bail off into the hole as fast as possible, with every one of the other team members right behind me. That's the way we were, one person did something everybody followed. But we ran off into a 7th level of hell, ultimately ending the campaign in record time
We were in a mine filled with goblins, who are all ignoring us, and at the back of the cave was a giant mechanical creature.
Me: "What is it?" DM: "Roll arcana." (I succeed) DM: (whispers in my ear) "It will awaken when the goblins stop working." Me: "I approach the monster..." Party: "Oh no." Me: "I ready my crossbow..." Party: "OH GOD NO!" Me: "I fire at the monster" Party: "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!" DM: "The monster wakes up." Me: "How was I supposed to know attacking the monster would wake it up?!" DM and rest of the party: (aggressively facepalms)
Once I was in this game with my Friends. Anyhoo, moving on. We are all attacking these guards and the guards continuously attack one of us. ONLY ONE OF US. none of us took any damage but that one person. This is hilarious. isn't it?
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"If you ever ask a wizard to list the books they've read recently, prepare to be there for a solid week. " - Original.
We were in a mine filled with goblins, who are all ignoring us, and at the back of the cave was a giant mechanical creature.
Me: "What is it?" DM: "Roll arcana." (I succeed) DM: (whispers in my ear) "It will awaken when the goblins stop working." Me: "I approach the monster..." Party: "Oh no." Me: "I ready my crossbow..." Party: "OH GOD NO!" Me: "I fire at the monster" Party: "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!" DM: "The monster wakes up." Me: "How was I supposed to know attacking the monster would wake it up?!" DM and rest of the party: (aggressively facepalms)
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
my warlock wants to put your soul n a jar to talk to when bored
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
my two friends convinced me to Dm a spur of the moment one shot for them. For her first ever character, one of my friends make a flirty young woman who suffered from a horribly low constitution and thus had to roll to see whether or not she threw up when encountering something gross. (her choice, not mine) I warned her it was going to be a pretty grimy setting but she insisted.
she nearly derailed the story in the opening scene by trying to flirt her way out of trouble with the noble she upset, only to barf all over his study when the gross old man started flirting back and she noticed the food in his teeth.
later they were chasing a young street urchin through a maze of alleys. He had information they wanted but the kid was skittish and the local pickpockets had tons of bolt holes. They ended up following him to a dead end back road where the kid then proceeded to squeeze through a child-sized hole in the wall of an abandoned building. They could hear him in the wall, climbing up towards the roof. I strongly hinted at there being enough room inside the wall for a child to maneuver, and also mentioned the fire escape a few feet away leading up to the same roof.
both characters ignored the fire escape and insisted on forcing their way inside the wall, scrambling over each other and basically racing each other to get ahead. It was doable but they had to pass some checks to climb up the narrow space.
they both had a string of crit fails.
they both got stuck in the wall.
One character was stuck between floor levels, wedged inside a hole between floors with the makeshift ladder leading up. the character with a queasy stomach was stuck on the level just above him and was getting nauseous because of all the dead bugs and rodent leavings stuck in the wall this her. She starts to struggle free but has ANOTHER crit fail. the floor gives way under her weight and she ends up falling head first back down the hole her friend is stuck in. they are now wedged together with him looking up and her stuck upside down.
Thats when she fails her con save and throws up.
we had to take a ten minute break to stop laughing and when we came back i just told them that after much struggling they eventually get free but the kid was long gone. we couldn't handle any more dice rolls.
This just happened, running Dragonheist, they are doing the Dark Elf faction quest lvl 5. They get to Xanathars lair and get to the room the Drow mage is in, keep in mind it has X and his Majordomo in there as well. I told them just wait a bit and the others will eventually go away and it'll be a balanced encounter, they say NA F that and barge in there are six players they soon realize that this is a murder box, and RUN but lock one of the players in the room with everyone. Well he got knocked out and is now a mind flayer because it was better than outright killing him and I can bring him back to haunt the group.
In the campaign I played, some years ago, me ( as a Human Wizard lvl 5 ), 1 Dwarf Fighter, 1 Human Cleric, 1 Elven female Ranger, plus 1 Gnome Bard; we arrived at a village in where all the civilians were celebrating an special event ( with fireworks and some confetti ). We splitted the party in 2 groups.
1 group went to a random Pub, while the other went to the celebration just to enjoy it. So the group that went to the Pub ( The bard, the Ranger and me ), we eated some food and drank some beer there. The bard fitted his eyes on a random lady, and he decided to flirt with her, lefting us on the table so drunk. The random Lady was supposed to be an elfish lady but, in fact she was a Witch in disguise. The bard tried to flirt with her inviting her "to sleep" at first sight ( IYKWIM ). The lady accepted the invitation with a "suspicious smile" the DM described.
At the next morning, the lady disappeared unnoticed, we woke up with an obvious headache, and the bard.................. well............... he............ xD. He woke up POLYMORPHED INTO A FROG, FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS. So we had to spend the rest of the Campaign seeking that Lady, or at least find a potion ( or a spell ) to take it out that weird curse.
THANKS, DEAR BARD TO RUIN OUR MAIN MISSION THERE !!!! Son of a ******* !!! arrrrrrrgggggggggggggggg
the goblin was already wounded and then died. Because of it, the party is now in extreme danger.
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
One of my players had the idea of starting a Waterdeep campaign. I was to DM it, but the players would have free reign on what they wanted to do. They were going to infiltrate Waterdeep's political system and take control of the government. I tried to tell them that it would be tough, but yet they still persisted. I don't think they understand how the Waterdhavian government works: There is a Open Lord (Laeral Silverhand - a CR 17 creature) who is protected very well and 5 (correct me if I'm wrong) masked lords who sit in shadow. They wanted to find the masked lords, bribe them, and eventually take control of the city. I am about to start DMing it soon, so wish me luck! (And them too... they're gonna need it)
One of my players had the idea of starting a Waterdeep campaign. I was to DM it, but the players would have free reign on what they wanted to do. They were going to infiltrate Waterdeep's political system and take control of the government. I tried to tell them that it would be tough, but yet they still persisted. I don't think they understand how the Waterdhavian government works: There is a Open Lord (Laeral Silverhand - a CR 17 creature) who is protected very well and 5 (correct me if I'm wrong) masked lords who sit in shadow. They wanted to find the masked lords, bribe them, and eventually take control of the city. I am about to start DMing it soon, so wish me luck! (And them too... they're gonna need it)
It's anywhere between 5 and 20 masked lords.
the whole point of the masked lords is that no one knows who they are. The masked lord's cloaks/masks are magic items (detailed in Dragon Heist) mask the wearers alignment, age, height, gender, race, and location from being detected by magic or observation. This is literally just to make them immune to bribery. If you want, I can start a new thread and advise you on how the city would respond to their efforts, based on the knowledge from dragon heist.
I would advise buying just the compendium content for dragon heist -- there is a great bit called "Volo's waterdeep enchiridion" that has all you will need to know :)
One of my pcs thought the goal of D&d was to be the last one standing so when the campaign started they were in a cell with one of the other pcs and pc 1 broke out of the manacles and charged pc 2 who couldn’t for the life of them roll high enough to get free and pc 1 two shot him unconscious and then continued to hit him until he had 3 death save fails and was perma dead.
One of my pcs thought the goal of D&d was to be the last one standing so when the campaign started they were in a cell with one of the other pcs and pc 1 broke out of the manacles and charged pc 2 who couldn’t for the life of them roll high enough to get free and pc 1 two shot him unconscious and then continued to hit him until he had 3 death save fails and was perma dead.
gah did the campaign restart from the baggining after you explained it to them
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
In our first campaign, first session (we were all new players) one of my party members knocked on the DOOR of a room a bunch of bandits were in, it was a good time. She almost died. Also, a different player used a very destructive spell in a small, enclosed, fragile space, and the whole room almost collapsed around us.
This happened to me. I tried to punch one of my fellow players (like knock them unconscious or something) because the group was still on like our second session, and I nearly killed his character. My formerly peaceful, quiet, and scholarly wizard is now considered "the person most likely to hit you with something" because I have a quarterstaff and decided I like to use it. I still don't know how it happened.
So, this was like my first campaign, and I decided to have a Rogue that was a kleptomaniac. He was also a drunk. So, fast forward a bit, we get a job were we're tasked with guarding this caravan across the desert. So, a bunch of bandits come and we kill them and decide to rest for the night. My Rogue, being a Chaotic Good, decides that he wants to steal some of the stuff that they were supposed to be guarding. When it's his turn to do watch, he gets up and creeps to one of the wagons. He gets in and stuffs his bag and pouches with as many gold pieces as he can carry (About 100 of them). I then roll for perception, to see if there are any hostile-beings around. I roll high enough to notice the band of orcs coming right towards me. I pause. They come up to me and are about to start attacking when I say, "Can I persuade them to kill you guys and not me?". The DM is like, "Ummmm, what? You want to what?". I eventually convince him to let me and I roll a nat 20 on my roll. Keep in mind that he's drunk. "Listen to me, my very dumb and honestly pretty ugly friends. I'm not the person you wanna kill. Or eat. Or whatever you people do. There are people over there who are asleep. If you're quiet they'll never hear you and you'll get an easy meal." I then bow to them. As their walking away, I screech at the top of my lungs "HEY GUYS I FOUND SOME ORCAS". And so the rest of the party was awakened and I watched them kill the orcs while I sipped my beer.
We were just starting a campaign, when we came across this cave/hole thing, I mean it was 3 minutes into the campaign. I decided to explore the hole. Everyone else just looked at me. So I said I"m going to explore the hole. The DM was like, "are you sure?", I said, yes, you know I never say I"m going to do something unless I'm going to do it. She said OK, roll a d20 just to check your success. The roll was something like a 19, Then another d20 to check initiative, another d20 for something else, she was trying to get me to realize not to do this. Bit did I take the hint, NOOOO! so I succeeded. So I bail off into the hole as fast as possible, with every one of the other team members right behind me. That's the way we were, one person did something everybody followed. But we ran off into a 7th level of hell, ultimately ending the campaign in record time
EDIT: Clarification
punch the moon into a hungry bear.
We were in a mine filled with goblins, who are all ignoring us, and at the back of the cave was a giant mechanical creature.
Me: "What is it?"
DM: "Roll arcana." (I succeed)
DM: (whispers in my ear) "It will awaken when the goblins stop working."
Me: "I approach the monster..."
Party: "Oh no."
Me: "I ready my crossbow..."
Party: "OH GOD NO!"
Me: "I fire at the monster"
Party: "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!"
DM: "The monster wakes up."
Me: "How was I supposed to know attacking the monster would wake it up?!"
DM and rest of the party: (aggressively facepalms)
Once I was in this game with my Friends. Anyhoo, moving on. We are all attacking these guards and the guards continuously attack one of us. ONLY ONE OF US. none of us took any damage but that one person. This is hilarious. isn't it?
"If you ever ask a wizard to list the books they've read recently, prepare to be there for a solid week. " - Original.
Grammar Cult
Bow down to Cats! (Cult of Cats)
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
my warlock wants to put your soul n a jar to talk to when bored
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
-moderately difficult random encounter-
Player 1, just knocked unconcious: hey Ortan, my next character has two 18s, can you finish my character off?
Me: What? No! I stab the firenewt.
DM, hearing this: the firenewts suddenly say they will stop attacking if the party gives them [player 1]s character as a slave
Me: sure. I give them 5 gp for their trouble.
Player 1: so can I bring in my new --
DM: no. They are immobillized, enslaved, and out of the game for all purposes they *jester voice* taknically aren't dead
--not much later, dealing with a young red dragon. Its going well, with the dragon being nice, they command the firenewts.--
DM: okay, you see [player 1]'s character being killed and eaten by firenewts. [Player 1], your new character is with the party now.
Player 1, level 4 like everyone else: I attack the dragon
DM: lemme get my dice rolling app for the 14d6 for its breath weapon...
Everyone else (including me): we dive out of the way and yell "we don't know him!!"
We can all guess what happend.
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
my two friends convinced me to Dm a spur of the moment one shot for them. For her first ever character, one of my friends make a flirty young woman who suffered from a horribly low constitution and thus had to roll to see whether or not she threw up when encountering something gross. (her choice, not mine) I warned her it was going to be a pretty grimy setting but she insisted.
she nearly derailed the story in the opening scene by trying to flirt her way out of trouble with the noble she upset, only to barf all over his study when the gross old man started flirting back and she noticed the food in his teeth.
later they were chasing a young street urchin through a maze of alleys. He had information they wanted but the kid was skittish and the local pickpockets had tons of bolt holes. They ended up following him to a dead end back road where the kid then proceeded to squeeze through a child-sized hole in the wall of an abandoned building. They could hear him in the wall, climbing up towards the roof. I strongly hinted at there being enough room inside the wall for a child to maneuver, and also mentioned the fire escape a few feet away leading up to the same roof.
both characters ignored the fire escape and insisted on forcing their way inside the wall, scrambling over each other and basically racing each other to get ahead. It was doable but they had to pass some checks to climb up the narrow space.
they both had a string of crit fails.
they both got stuck in the wall.
One character was stuck between floor levels, wedged inside a hole between floors with the makeshift ladder leading up. the character with a queasy stomach was stuck on the level just above him and was getting nauseous because of all the dead bugs and rodent leavings stuck in the wall this her. She starts to struggle free but has ANOTHER crit fail. the floor gives way under her weight and she ends up falling head first back down the hole her friend is stuck in. they are now wedged together with him looking up and her stuck upside down.
Thats when she fails her con save and throws up.
we had to take a ten minute break to stop laughing and when we came back i just told them that after much struggling they eventually get free but the kid was long gone. we couldn't handle any more dice rolls.
This just happened, running Dragonheist, they are doing the Dark Elf faction quest lvl 5. They get to Xanathars lair and get to the room the Drow mage is in, keep in mind it has X and his Majordomo in there as well. I told them just wait a bit and the others will eventually go away and it'll be a balanced encounter, they say NA F that and barge in there are six players they soon realize that this is a murder box, and RUN but lock one of the players in the room with everyone. Well he got knocked out and is now a mind flayer because it was better than outright killing him and I can bring him back to haunt the group.
PyscoSonic#4554
In the campaign I played, some years ago, me ( as a Human Wizard lvl 5 ), 1 Dwarf Fighter, 1 Human Cleric, 1 Elven female Ranger, plus 1 Gnome Bard; we arrived at a village in where all the civilians were celebrating an special event ( with fireworks and some confetti ). We splitted the party in 2 groups.
1 group went to a random Pub, while the other went to the celebration just to enjoy it. So the group that went to the Pub ( The bard, the Ranger and me ), we eated some food and drank some beer there. The bard fitted his eyes on a random lady, and he decided to flirt with her, lefting us on the table so drunk. The random Lady was supposed to be an elfish lady but, in fact she was a Witch in disguise. The bard tried to flirt with her inviting her "to sleep" at first sight ( IYKWIM ). The lady accepted the invitation with a "suspicious smile" the DM described.
At the next morning, the lady disappeared unnoticed, we woke up with an obvious headache, and the bard.................. well............... he............ xD. He woke up POLYMORPHED INTO A FROG, FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS. So we had to spend the rest of the Campaign seeking that Lady, or at least find a potion ( or a spell ) to take it out that weird curse.
THANKS, DEAR BARD TO RUIN OUR MAIN MISSION THERE !!!! Son of a ******* !!! arrrrrrrgggggggggggggggg
My Ready-to-rock&roll chars:
Dertinus Tristany // Amilcar Barca // Vicenç Sacrarius // Oriol Deulofeu // Grovtuk
P1:“We need to take the goblin captive”
P2: “I roll to shoot it” gets a 20
me, the dm: “are you trying to be non lethal?”
p2:”no”
the goblin was already wounded and then died. Because of it, the party is now in extreme danger.
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
(Literally happened today)
Ghost: May I possess you, holy paladin, so I can go get vengeance for my untimely demise, and move on to the afterlife?
Paladin: Uhh, sure, you can possess me?
Ghost: Great! Just let me in your body.
(Paladin allows him to possess himself)
DM (Me): Okay, you are incapacitated, can't move, and the ghost controls your body, but can't use your class features.
Paladin: Wait, what?!?! How?! Why!?
DM: Uhh, you just let him possess you. What did you think was going to happen.
During the rest of the session, the player was grumpy that the ghost had control of his body, and kept mumbling it was my fault.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
It's anywhere between 5 and 20 masked lords.
DM: Dragon of Icespire Peak PbP
The whole point of the masked lords is that no one knows who
the whole point of the masked lords is that no one knows who they are. The masked lord's cloaks/masks are magic items (detailed in Dragon Heist) mask the wearers alignment, age, height, gender, race, and location from being detected by magic or observation. This is literally just to make them immune to bribery. If you want, I can start a new thread and advise you on how the city would respond to their efforts, based on the knowledge from dragon heist.
I would advise buying just the compendium content for dragon heist -- there is a great bit called "Volo's waterdeep enchiridion" that has all you will need to know :)
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
One of my pcs thought the goal of D&d was to be the last one standing so when the campaign started they were in a cell with one of the other pcs and pc 1 broke out of the manacles and charged pc 2 who couldn’t for the life of them roll high enough to get free and pc 1 two shot him unconscious and then continued to hit him until he had 3 death save fails and was perma dead.
gah did the campaign restart from the baggining after you explained it to them
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
In our first campaign, first session (we were all new players) one of my party members knocked on the DOOR of a room a bunch of bandits were in, it was a good time. She almost died. Also, a different player used a very destructive spell in a small, enclosed, fragile space, and the whole room almost collapsed around us.
This happened to me. I tried to punch one of my fellow players (like knock them unconscious or something) because the group was still on like our second session, and I nearly killed his character. My formerly peaceful, quiet, and scholarly wizard is now considered "the person most likely to hit you with something" because I have a quarterstaff and decided I like to use it. I still don't know how it happened.
So, this was like my first campaign, and I decided to have a Rogue that was a kleptomaniac. He was also a drunk. So, fast forward a bit, we get a job were we're tasked with guarding this caravan across the desert. So, a bunch of bandits come and we kill them and decide to rest for the night. My Rogue, being a Chaotic Good, decides that he wants to steal some of the stuff that they were supposed to be guarding. When it's his turn to do watch, he gets up and creeps to one of the wagons. He gets in and stuffs his bag and pouches with as many gold pieces as he can carry (About 100 of them). I then roll for perception, to see if there are any hostile-beings around. I roll high enough to notice the band of orcs coming right towards me. I pause. They come up to me and are about to start attacking when I say, "Can I persuade them to kill you guys and not me?". The DM is like, "Ummmm, what? You want to what?". I eventually convince him to let me and I roll a nat 20 on my roll. Keep in mind that he's drunk. "Listen to me, my very dumb and honestly pretty ugly friends. I'm not the person you wanna kill. Or eat. Or whatever you people do. There are people over there who are asleep. If you're quiet they'll never hear you and you'll get an easy meal." I then bow to them. As their walking away, I screech at the top of my lungs "HEY GUYS I FOUND SOME ORCAS". And so the rest of the party was awakened and I watched them kill the orcs while I sipped my beer.
People die everyday. What's one more?
Hehe crossover go brrr
Chip Acolyte of the Cult of Potato Chips and professional droid thief.