The guy who played the fighter also plays a bard. It’s great. It’s the same evil bard that I mentioned the other time.
Bard: (in character) I’m six foot five. (out of character) He’s not. (in character) I’m blonde. (out of character) He’s not.
We had to start a fire, but had no fire-starting equipment:
Bard: I intimidate the fire into starting. (He’s a bard, so he could have used Persuasion, but he chose intimidation, probably as a callback to the fighter.)
DM: Okay, roll Intimidation. (to the wizard, who previously said he was going to use fire bolt) So, you’re using fire bolt to start the fire?
Wizard: Aye. (When playing the wizard I always speak with a Scottish accent)
DM: Okay, so as you try to intimidate it, you (indicates wizard) cast fire bolt, starting the fire.
Bard: It worked! I intimidated the fire!
And now two of this guy’s characters are convinced they can intimidate inanimate objects.
The party is leaving the bordello where my character works part time. We run into the warden of the jail a few of our members recently escaped from and he summons the guards.
Genasi artificer: Okay here’s the plan – run.
Tiefling rogue (me): If you buy me a few minutes I’ll get help.
Bugbear barbarian: Okay! *successfully distracts the guards by raging*
Tiefling rogue: *runs back to the bordello* Battle stations ladies, we’ve got trouble!
DM: You return with 3 battle hookers. The first one takes off her high heels and beats the shit out a guard.
That's why I decided Nat1/Nat20 DCs and saves are just normal 1s and 20s subject to modifiers rather than insta-fail/success and reserve them only for attack rolls (as per 5e RaW).
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
That's fair, Eric. I sometimes allow Nat 20s or Nat 1s to have extraordinary results, but only when it makes sense. Otherwise, it's just a failure or a success. And a Nat 20 isn't good enough for me if the DC is too high. So in my campaign stealing the shopkeeper wouldn't work, at least not that well. XD
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
-My wizard, talking about the other wizard who is (unbeknownst to me) a terrorist (used a bag of beans to create a pyramid inside a rival party’s headquarters) and user of a Wand of Wonders, while listening to him fight an angry crocodile outside
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All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
"I can't believe the main villain got vored by a giant robot snake."
How did that happen?
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All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
Guard: <nervously> Sir, these blast discs you're carrying are military-grade equipment restricted for civilian use. I must request you to hand them or I would arrest you.
Fighter: You mean you would try to arrest me? Would be a real shame if this town decided to have me as their enemy...
Guard: At least conceal them, sir.
Fighter (OOC): That was odd. Shouldn't I have to roll intimidation or something?
GM: You've failed your intimidation in the previous two towns. Now you have a reputation preceding you.
This is from a sourcebook so i doubt it counts, but it's still funny:
"the city council are a diverse lot. Some are crooked, some are idealists, and one of them appears to be an owl"
Ebberon: Rising From the Last War?
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All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
I guess Amazon thinks my characters are laughable...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I guess Amazon thinks my characters are laughable...
This is saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Amazon needs to learn respect.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Have you seen my characters? Amazon might be right to categorize it that way for me.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Not a campaign, but a comment on one of my discussion threads I made on the Roblox Phantom Forces fan wiki. Thought it'd be funny because I mentioned Dungeons and Dragons, and some of the replies from my comments are funny, as well.
(Playing Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time in dnd way) (the way how i do nat 1s is that they PC describe what thing gives them away)
The PC's are trying to get past the guards to get to talk to Princess Zelda, they just climbed the vines and are currently stealthing
The Sorcerer rolls a nat 1 on stealth, he says: My character becomes entranced with a strange looking rock "HEY everyone, come and look at this rock!"
The Guards rolling a nat20 on perception: "HEY, who goes there?! Show yourself!!"
The Sorcerer scrambling to think of a solution: Ribbit
Me (the DM): roll a nature check! (DC 25 to convince the guards its a frog)
The Sorcerer: Nat 20 plus 7 so 27!
After much shaking of my head, screaming, and laughing\
Guards: Must of been a frog! Back to your posts!
God I love DND
A New DM up against the World
Awesome
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
Not really funny, but a legendary moment: (PCs are fighting a monster)
My player has advantage, rolls a 19
I say no need for advantage, you hit the monster!
My player: No I will roll a nat 20. *rolls a d20* Uhhh, wow um, natural-freaking-20!!!!!!!!!!!!
A New DM up against the World
The guy who played the fighter also plays a bard. It’s great. It’s the same evil bard that I mentioned the other time.
Bard: (in character) I’m six foot five. (out of character) He’s not. (in character) I’m blonde. (out of character) He’s not.
We had to start a fire, but had no fire-starting equipment:
Bard: I intimidate the fire into starting. (He’s a bard, so he could have used Persuasion, but he chose intimidation, probably as a callback to the fighter.)
DM: Okay, roll Intimidation. (to the wizard, who previously said he was going to use fire bolt) So, you’re using fire bolt to start the fire?
Wizard: Aye. (When playing the wizard I always speak with a Scottish accent)
DM: Okay, so as you try to intimidate it, you (indicates wizard) cast fire bolt, starting the fire.
Bard: It worked! I intimidated the fire!
And now two of this guy’s characters are convinced they can intimidate inanimate objects.
The party is leaving the bordello where my character works part time. We run into the warden of the jail a few of our members recently escaped from and he summons the guards.
Genasi artificer: Okay here’s the plan – run.
Tiefling rogue (me): If you buy me a few minutes I’ll get help.
Bugbear barbarian: Okay! *successfully distracts the guards by raging*
Tiefling rogue: *runs back to the bordello* Battle stations ladies, we’ve got trouble!
DM: You return with 3 battle hookers. The first one takes off her high heels and beats the shit out a guard.
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
*me and my friend, changeling rogues with +9 sleight of hand rob a shop*
DM: the shopkeeper turns to call the guards
Me: "STEAL THE SHOPKEEPER" *rolls nat 20*
Dm: you start carrying the shopkeeper away, and he has no idea that it's happening
(PS steal the shopkeeper is the funny quote)
Current Character: https://www.dndbeyond.com/profile/MajestorSteel1103/characters/44226318
Leader of the Cult of ANTI-Sedge
Priest of the Supreme Court of Sauce as well as one of the three founders (others being GreatAxeblade and ParticleHex)
That's why I decided Nat1/Nat20 DCs and saves are just normal 1s and 20s subject to modifiers rather than insta-fail/success and reserve them only for attack rolls (as per 5e RaW).
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
That's fair, Eric. I sometimes allow Nat 20s or Nat 1s to have extraordinary results, but only when it makes sense. Otherwise, it's just a failure or a success. And a Nat 20 isn't good enough for me if the DC is too high. So in my campaign stealing the shopkeeper wouldn't work, at least not that well. XD
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
“Our friend has a tendency to.. get in trouble."
-My wizard, talking about the other wizard who is (unbeknownst to me) a terrorist (used a bag of beans to create a pyramid inside a rival party’s headquarters) and user of a Wand of Wonders, while listening to him fight an angry crocodile outside
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
“Dire cows.
Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows."
-our normally calm, wise Tortle Cleric, who repeated this for a while, staring blankly, after we encountered dire cows
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
How did that happen?
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
There was a warforged druid in the party who really didn't want the guy coming back.
Also:
"2 fives make a right"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Guard: <nervously> Sir, these blast discs you're carrying are military-grade equipment restricted for civilian use. I must request you to hand them or I would arrest you.
Fighter: You mean you would try to arrest me? Would be a real shame if this town decided to have me as their enemy...
Guard: At least conceal them, sir.
Fighter (OOC): That was odd. Shouldn't I have to roll intimidation or something?
GM: You've failed your intimidation in the previous two towns. Now you have a reputation preceding you.
Ebberon: Rising From the Last War?
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
This sounds like the sort of thing Terry Pratchett might write.
“Ok, 5 skeletons attack.” *Lables them Skeleton A, B, C, ect.*
”Let’s call them Alex, Beatrice... oh, Crazy Bones, and Derrik!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
I guess Amazon thinks my characters are laughable...
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This is saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Amazon needs to learn respect.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
Have you seen my characters? Amazon might be right to categorize it that way for me.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Not a campaign, but a comment on one of my discussion threads I made on the Roblox Phantom Forces fan wiki. Thought it'd be funny because I mentioned Dungeons and Dragons, and some of the replies from my comments are funny, as well.