this isn't as funny as some of the other things, but our gnome wizard once screamed "LIGHTBRINGER, LIGHT THE WAY!!!!" while holding up his wand with Light cast on it.
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I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
One time when I was DMing, one of my players purchased a newspaper from a street vendor selling the morning paper and various breakfast-y snacks (it was a Homebrew campaign set in a steampunkish Victorian nation closely resembling England, but with heavy Celtic references). I had purpousfully made the headline article of the newspaper plot relevant in an attempt to make sure the party was for the most part focused on the main quest, though I wasn't trying to railroad them.
... They entirely skipped over that article, and decided to read the next one over. I, being a complete idiot, had not prepared for this, and so had to come up with something on the spot.
"Freak bread accident causes basil addiction in gopher".
That is the headline I came up with. Needless to say, nothing got done for the next five minutes because everyone was laughing too hard at my impromptu string of random words to even form a coherent sentence.
Edit: Autocarrot did a thing. Also, I have tried repeatedly to make it say autocarrot and not autocarrot, but my device hates me and always autocarrots it to autocarrot and not autocarrot. FML.
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
Both the basil addicted gopher and the word autocarrot have basically become memes within my tabletop gaming group, haha. So far the party has adopted the gopher, and the resident lawful good with a side of extra lawful paladin (who multiclassed as a cleric) is trying to enroll said gopher in addiction therapy. They've basically derailed my whole campaign at this point. To be honest I'm pretty used to their campaign breaking shenanagins by now. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to rewrite hundreds of pages worth of plot because our chaotic evil (more like chaotic stupid) sorcerer decided to cast fireball on an important npc or artifact or whatnot before I was even done talking. I swear, one of these days they'll give me an anureysm. I love those idiots.
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Both the basil addicted gopher and the word autocarrot have basically become memes within my tabletop gaming group, haha. So far the party has adopted the gopher, and the resident lawful good with a side of extra lawful paladin (who multiclassed as a cleric) is trying to enroll said gopher in addiction therapy. They've basically derailed my whole campaign at this point. To be honest I'm pretty used to their campaign breaking shenanagins by now. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to rewrite hundreds of pages worth of plot because our chaotic evil (more like chaotic stupid) sorcerer decided to cast fireball on an important npc or artifact or whatnot before I was even done talking. I swear, one of these days they'll give me an anureysm. I love those idiots.
How does the lawful paladin RP justify not doing anything about the CE sorcerer?
To clarify for MusicScout, I'm not DM all the time. We trade off regularly, but the group has nominated me the go-to DM for the times when the regularly scheduled DM can't make it or just doesn't feel like putting up with us idiots, lol. The player of said CE sorcerer has DMed multiple times, and their campaigns are always fun!
In response to your query, 5PercentGlory, the lawful good paladin/cleric has "highly reluctant to harm anyone or anything" as one of their bonds (or maybe it was listed under flaws. I can't quite remember), alongside "constantly trying to see the good in everyone/everything". No matter how much aforementioned CE sorcerer destroys, our lovable paladin/cleric still tries to point out the (pretty much nonexistent) good traits about them, and is highly opposed to, say, yeeting them off a cliff.
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
So... The Paladin's merely Lawfully Annoying versus full-on Lawful Stupid? :D
Still, it makes sense. Dogmas come in all kinds and not only knuckle-smacking-with-a-measuring-stick piety. I often forget that LG is, itself, not as restrictive as it sounds. Look at how LE handles Lawful-ness.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Druid (to Bard): "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. You'll definitely die."
Bard: "Ah! But what if it works?"
(Sadly due to some extremely lucky rolls, it worked. The Bard has since been far more ludicrous with ideas. If there is ever a TPK, it'll probably be from the Bard's plan.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
It’s not a quote, but one of my characters got to the place where they all miraculously met up because he fell asleep in a cargo wagon 100 miles away. He woke up there.
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
@OboeLauren: Could we get a couple quotes from Silver and Steel? I feel there's a couple that would fit really well here, especially from episode 6 *coughgroundsphincterscough*.
our loxodon paladin once famously tried to grapple our halfling rogue with his trunk. Can't think of a quote to go with it, but it was priceless.
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I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
>Be me >Be Hobgoblin Artificer (Artillerist) named Davric >Have Eldritch Cannon (bonus action ranged attack for d28 and push target 5 ft.) >Eldritch Cannon named Luca >In swamp >Attacked by crocodiles >Get bit by crocodile - counts as grapple >Use action to break grapple >Fail >"Luca, help me!" >Bonus action Luca attack >Natural 1 >Roll percentile dice >17 >Luca hits me >Luca hits me for max damage >Now at 1 hp >Get pushed 5 ft. >Grapple broken >"Good job, Luca."
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"Oh no! It's a raven! Run for your life!"
(one of the characters was cursed after he tried to magic missile a stone statue of a raven)
There is no dawn after eternal night.
Homebrew: Magic items, Subclasses
(our Forge Cleric, after having his Intelligence reduced from an Intellect Devourer)
DM: "You enter a hallway filled with mirrors."
(Forge Cleric stares at his reflection)
Cleric: "What are YOU looking at, huh?!"
this isn't as funny as some of the other things, but our gnome wizard once screamed "LIGHTBRINGER, LIGHT THE WAY!!!!" while holding up his wand with Light cast on it.
I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
One time when I was DMing, one of my players purchased a newspaper from a street vendor selling the morning paper and various breakfast-y snacks (it was a Homebrew campaign set in a steampunkish Victorian nation closely resembling England, but with heavy Celtic references). I had purpousfully made the headline article of the newspaper plot relevant in an attempt to make sure the party was for the most part focused on the main quest, though I wasn't trying to railroad them.
... They entirely skipped over that article, and decided to read the next one over. I, being a complete idiot, had not prepared for this, and so had to come up with something on the spot.
"Freak bread accident causes basil addiction in gopher".
That is the headline I came up with. Needless to say, nothing got done for the next five minutes because everyone was laughing too hard at my impromptu string of random words to even form a coherent sentence.
Edit: Autocarrot did a thing. Also, I have tried repeatedly to make it say autocarrot and not autocarrot, but my device hates me and always autocarrots it to autocarrot and not autocarrot. FML.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
LOL, LordOfTheMemes! XD
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
Alexarthur94,
Both the basil addicted gopher and the word autocarrot have basically become memes within my tabletop gaming group, haha. So far the party has adopted the gopher, and the resident lawful good with a side of extra lawful paladin (who multiclassed as a cleric) is trying to enroll said gopher in addiction therapy. They've basically derailed my whole campaign at this point. To be honest I'm pretty used to their campaign breaking shenanagins by now. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to rewrite hundreds of pages worth of plot because our chaotic evil (more like chaotic stupid) sorcerer decided to cast fireball on an important npc or artifact or whatnot before I was even done talking. I swear, one of these days they'll give me an anureysm. I love those idiots.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
That is beautiful.
Sounds like your Chaotic Evil Sorcerer needs to be DM once or twice.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
That's why you give important NPCs high HP...
There is no dawn after eternal night.
Homebrew: Magic items, Subclasses
How does the lawful paladin RP justify not doing anything about the CE sorcerer?
Watch me on twitch
To clarify for MusicScout, I'm not DM all the time. We trade off regularly, but the group has nominated me the go-to DM for the times when the regularly scheduled DM can't make it or just doesn't feel like putting up with us idiots, lol. The player of said CE sorcerer has DMed multiple times, and their campaigns are always fun!
In response to your query, 5PercentGlory, the lawful good paladin/cleric has "highly reluctant to harm anyone or anything" as one of their bonds (or maybe it was listed under flaws. I can't quite remember), alongside "constantly trying to see the good in everyone/everything". No matter how much aforementioned CE sorcerer destroys, our lovable paladin/cleric still tries to point out the (pretty much nonexistent) good traits about them, and is highly opposed to, say, yeeting them off a cliff.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
So... The Paladin's merely Lawfully Annoying versus full-on Lawful Stupid? :D
Still, it makes sense. Dogmas come in all kinds and not only knuckle-smacking-with-a-measuring-stick piety. I often forget that LG is, itself, not as restrictive as it sounds. Look at how LE handles Lawful-ness.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Druid (to Bard): "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. You'll definitely die."
Bard: "Ah! But what if it works?"
(Sadly due to some extremely lucky rolls, it worked. The Bard has since been far more ludicrous with ideas. If there is ever a TPK, it'll probably be from the Bard's plan.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Pffft, that's hilarious
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
It’s not a quote, but one of my characters got to the place where they all miraculously met up because he fell asleep in a cargo wagon 100 miles away. He woke up there.
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Me: "What's the Alter for?"
The Cultist: "For killing people, Idiot."
You got any spare change? I need some spare change.
Do you mean an altar? Because this sentence really confused me.
There is no dawn after eternal night.
Homebrew: Magic items, Subclasses
@OboeLauren: Could we get a couple quotes from Silver and Steel? I feel there's a couple that would fit really well here, especially from episode 6 *coughgroundsphincterscough*.
our loxodon paladin once famously tried to grapple our halfling rogue with his trunk. Can't think of a quote to go with it, but it was priceless.
I am a human person very good at doing human person things, yes yes, i enjoy normal human person things like wearing clothes on my skin and walking with my leg, yes yes, am not a yuan-ti infiltrator, am human person
IF YOU'RE READING THIS GO WATCH INFINITY TRAIN ON HBOMAX
>Be me
>Be Hobgoblin Artificer (Artillerist) named Davric
>Have Eldritch Cannon (bonus action ranged attack for d28 and push target 5 ft.)
>Eldritch Cannon named Luca
>In swamp
>Attacked by crocodiles
>Get bit by crocodile - counts as grapple
>Use action to break grapple
>Fail
>"Luca, help me!"
>Bonus action Luca attack
>Natural 1
>Roll percentile dice
>17
>Luca hits me
>Luca hits me for max damage
>Now at 1 hp
>Get pushed 5 ft.
>Grapple broken
>"Good job, Luca."