After a string of bad rolls where the Gunslinger's weapon jammed repeatedly, her character's sister, the sorceress, was teasing her about how fond the gunslinger was of Reya.
Gunslinger: "Stop it, or I'll shoot you!"
Sorceress: "Really? How? You haven't been able to shoot anyone all day."
One of my characters used to be a gunslinger. I can relate to this.
"Okay so look, we wanted to have an orgy, and we didn't want to invite your daughter, but it'd be rude to do it here without her, so that's why we all went into the woods tonight, only now you can see we chose a horrible spot, which is why we are all scratched up, and maybe we could ask you for some kind of ointment?"
The ballsiest lie my party has ever attempted, made while "guests" of the BBEG. He rolled a total 20 on the insight check. The Gnome Ranger making this up on the spot rolled a Natural 20 on her deception check. They did in fact get some ointment.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
TMW the satyr PC is angry and hurling several vile insults in Sylvan, completely forgetting that the wizard also knows Sylvan . . . and Common . . . and Dwarvish . . . and Deep Speech . . . and Draconic . . . and Elvish.
So, in this West Marches campaign I am in, we ALL failed a DC 15 wisdom save AT 3RD LEVEL!!!! And so, we are all a little bit closer to going insane.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it. Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks. MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Not exactly a quote, but some pretty funny OOC stuff that happened last session.
For context, three of the PCs are the tiefling druid, the pirate monk, and the bird bard. The druid and monk aren't officially a couple yet but almost certainly will be eventually; the bird bard and the druid are best platonic friends (they both love wildlife and mutually take care of a pet giant spider). And the bird bard has, shockingly, four pet birds, one of which can talk and has 10 Intelligence.
I can't remember exactly how it happened, but someone suggested that the bird bard should settle down and have some peace (she died recently, was revived, and then almost died again). Then someone said the druid would probably live there, too, since they both take care of the giant pet spider, I assume. Of course, that means the monk would end up being there, too, which, according to bird bard's player, would make bird bard "the annoying roommate." The druid's player said the place would be a zoo with all the animals (which I'm pretty sure will increase in number). And I said it sounded like a sitcom. Bird bard suggested it would be called What the Flock?
And, of course, the giant spider answers the door for someone coming to meet them, and the person runs away screaming. Bird bard: Who was that? Spider: *shrugs*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
We've been kind of slow-rolling both the campaign I run for this group and the campaign I play in because we're at "anything you do could end this" moments in both areas.
Cassandra is a Tiefling Barbarian and I'm playing Maidne, a Gloomstalker/ Assassin (now Paladin as well cause goddesses cannot mind their own business).
Cassandra's player and I are good friends, so we like to tease each other in the game since our characters are friends as well.
Maidne: (sassing the *elite guard*) "Yeah yeah yeah, kill me if I leave before the trial, whatever."
Cassandra: "Is it just me, or did you become a bigger @$$hole after you died?"
Maidne: "Well, I'm sorry. I don't have time for this. I just found a big clue and I need to leave to go look for your missing husband. That's all!"
Cassandra: (OOC) "Well, he's been missing since my backstory, it can wait a few more minutes."
Cassandra: (IC) "What.."
Maidne: "Yeah, so I need to go. This trial is pointless."
Cassandra: "You're risking your life to find my husband?"
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Or he knew exactly what it meant and kept on asking anyway just to go along with a joke.
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Or he knew exactly what it meant and kept on asking anyway just to go along with a joke.
...or the character knew exactly what it meant and wasn't joking.🤔🙃
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Or he knew exactly what it meant and kept on asking anyway just to go along with a joke.
...or the character knew exactly what it meant and wasn't joking.🤔🙃
Or maybe he's literally offering to polish their actual spears, while knowing the joke
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Or he knew exactly what it meant and kept on asking anyway just to go along with a joke.
...or the character knew exactly what it meant and wasn't joking.🤔🙃
Or maybe he's literally offering to polish their actual spears, while knowing the joke
One of my characters used to be a gunslinger. I can relate to this.
: “I swear is Sylvan.”
“I know Sylvan!”
“Take 100 physic damage.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
"Okay so look, we wanted to have an orgy, and we didn't want to invite your daughter, but it'd be rude to do it here without her, so that's why we all went into the woods tonight, only now you can see we chose a horrible spot, which is why we are all scratched up, and maybe we could ask you for some kind of ointment?"
The ballsiest lie my party has ever attempted, made while "guests" of the BBEG. He rolled a total 20 on the insight check. The Gnome Ranger making this up on the spot rolled a Natural 20 on her deception check. They did in fact get some ointment.
(OOC in a stream...)
Player: "Wow. D&D is dark."
DM: "The way you all play it, it is."
EDIT: I think it's better without context.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
“Your fired from the ideas committee.”
”I don’t think you can do that. You were fired at the spider incident.”
”No, no, you’re both wrong. Your actually the CEOs of the bad idea committee.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
TMW the satyr PC is angry and hurling several vile insults in Sylvan, completely forgetting that the wizard also knows Sylvan . . . and Common . . . and Dwarvish . . . and Deep Speech . . . and Draconic . . . and Elvish.
Warlock: "okay, this is looking bad, so I'll leave and have a tea party in hell for a few minutes"
Babarian: "fine, I pick up [heavily injured ranger] before running away"
DM: "good, you find a pristine bottle of fine wine as a reward for your good behavior"
------------in another encounter---------
Me, DM: okay [barbarian], that is 5 damage, and I believe you have 3 hp. start making death saves
Sorcerer, OOC: wait, but he's raging, so it only deals 2 damage and he survives on 1 hp, right?
Me: *whispering* "man is too angry to die"
Sorcerer, OOC: what was that?
Me: oh, ah you're right, that would leave him at one hp
Everyone: okay lets heal that barbarian.
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
So, in this West Marches campaign I am in, we ALL failed a DC 15 wisdom save AT 3RD LEVEL!!!! And so, we are all a little bit closer to going insane.
I am part of the Cult of Grammar. Respect us. Or we will find the slightest mistake in your grammar, and never let you forget it.
Clones would have saved Star Wars, and Kylo Ren sucks.
MAKE THE EMPIRE GREAT AGAIN!!! I am a stormtrooper, and the Skywalker family is made of nothing but idiots who are insane. Cough Anakin and Luke Skywalker Cough
Don't even TRY to argue with me about Star Wars.
Not exactly a quote, but some pretty funny OOC stuff that happened last session.
For context, three of the PCs are the tiefling druid, the pirate monk, and the bird bard. The druid and monk aren't officially a couple yet but almost certainly will be eventually; the bird bard and the druid are best platonic friends (they both love wildlife and mutually take care of a pet giant spider). And the bird bard has, shockingly, four pet birds, one of which can talk and has 10 Intelligence.
I can't remember exactly how it happened, but someone suggested that the bird bard should settle down and have some peace (she died recently, was revived, and then almost died again). Then someone said the druid would probably live there, too, since they both take care of the giant pet spider, I assume. Of course, that means the monk would end up being there, too, which, according to bird bard's player, would make bird bard "the annoying roommate." The druid's player said the place would be a zoo with all the animals (which I'm pretty sure will increase in number). And I said it sounded like a sitcom. Bird bard suggested it would be called What the Flock?
And, of course, the giant spider answers the door for someone coming to meet them, and the person runs away screaming.
Bird bard: Who was that?
Spider: *shrugs*
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
We've been kind of slow-rolling both the campaign I run for this group and the campaign I play in because we're at "anything you do could end this" moments in both areas.
Cassandra is a Tiefling Barbarian and I'm playing Maidne, a Gloomstalker/ Assassin (now Paladin as well cause goddesses cannot mind their own business).
Cassandra's player and I are good friends, so we like to tease each other in the game since our characters are friends as well.
Maidne: (sassing the *elite guard*) "Yeah yeah yeah, kill me if I leave before the trial, whatever."
Cassandra: "Is it just me, or did you become a bigger @$$hole after you died?"
Maidne: "Well, I'm sorry. I don't have time for this. I just found a big clue and I need to leave to go look for your missing husband. That's all!"
Cassandra: (OOC) "Well, he's been missing since my backstory, it can wait a few more minutes."
Cassandra: (IC) "What.."
Maidne: "Yeah, so I need to go. This trial is pointless."
Cassandra: "You're risking your life to find my husband?"
Maidne: "You're welcome. Surprise! Happy birthday! Merry Christmas!"
Cassandra: "Well you still don't need to be such an @$$ about it."
Maidne: "No, I do. Really I do."
Cassandra: "Yeah, I know. Love you."
Maidne: "Love you too."
Spent months with a bunch of male players, and we finally got a female player.
Me: HOLY CRUDE!!!
I sent this to my dad (the DM for the campaign I'm running this character in).
We left off right after a fight with a group of goblins, with my character at 1hp at the end of it.
I spent 1 hour writing his backstory, and 2 drawing a portrait of him.
I don't think I've every spent 2 hours on art
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
Early on in the campaign I worked in an analog of the book "The Lusty Argonian Maid" from the Elder Scrolls series. Long story short, the phrase "polish your spear" appears repeatedly as the thinnest of double entendres. My PC with the outlander background fell for the other party members telling him that this was a common and polite greeting in this part of the world. Throughout the entirety of the campaign now, that character has been running around offering to polish the spears of various NPCs.
Or he knew exactly what it meant and kept on asking anyway just to go along with a joke.
...or the character knew exactly what it meant and wasn't joking.🤔🙃
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
That is actually even better, IMO.
“Your really a god? What number am I thinking of?”
If I was the god in question, I would be like: "Who do you think I am? The god of psionics?"