off the top of my head, ones i've made in the past
wand of the sewers, it was a wand of wonder but everything that could come with extra sewage did.and if it was an offensive spell it made the target smell like they'd fallen in a midden, the butterflies were turned into flies and everyone smelled like they'd fallen in a midden.
wand of magic missiles that fired winged kisses, that would flutter over to their target and give them a kiss, while still acting as a magic missile.
wand of magic missiles that in stead of firing missiles a pillow materialised over the target and then started hitting them. then vanished with a pop wand of magic missiles that fired saucepans. worked exactly the same as a normal wand but each missile was a saucepan that vanished as soon as it hit.
wand of sleep that sang go to sleep my baby when you cast it.
wand of stinking cloud that made a loud farting sound at the point the cloud formed.
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All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
When you wear these boots, you can walk in difficult terrain as if it was normal terrain and you get a climbing speed of 30 feet. For every hour you keep them on, the stickiness increases. If you wear them for 3 hours, there is a Strength check of 3 to remove them. All hours worn add up until it is impossible to take these boots off. Once the boots get over 30 in stickiness, your walking speed is reduced by half and you have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws and stealth checks. They make squelching noises when you walk as well. These boots are cursed. The only way to remove the curse and turn these boots into regular boots is to use a Remove Curse spell or something of higher level. Once the curse is removed, the boots explode and everything in a 10-foot radius is covered in sticky yellow gloop.
The cursed dwarven-throwing hammer - If you try to throw it, it will throw you!
Bonus points if it only throws dwarves. "Dwarf-throwing hammer"
So wait, with that bonus does it only throws a dwarf who tries to throw it? Or when you attempt to throw it, it stays in your hand and a random dwarf is teleported and flung as a projectile?
When thrown by a nondwarf, a random dwarf who is proficient with the hammer is summoned and thrown with the hammer.
The dwarf you summon was like doing something more important than being thrown at your enemies and feels rather like friends had been cast on him or her.
The Black Mask of the Faceless Cult. It is a black ceramic mask with a non descript face. Indestructible. When put on, it grants the user darkvision, face blindness(all faces are blank and blurry of other people), and -1 charisma modifier. This mask can not be removed and is unaffected by remove curse and related magic. The mask will fall off if you draw a face on it.
My party was lucky that a non darkvison character put it on, or they would have never figured that out. I expected them to take a few sessions to happen across the removal procedure but it was the next session. The players loved it. It will be useful later, and a bit silly.
The latest one I gave them I took straight from the podcast "hello from the magic tavern": the bowl of watery death. Who ever puts water in the bowl will shrink and drown in the bowl. I'm running a desert setting and one of the members almost immediately put water in it, but everyone mentioned that they just traded their water in for coin, and in quickly moved on with the encounter before they realized they had other sources. I hope they actually "figure" out what the bowl is and come up with a sweet use for it with out killing a pc in the process.
My goal is to hand one wacky item to them a session.
Grants you the ability to know the emotions of anyone in a 100 foot radius. The kicker, whatever you say to them makes them feel the opposite emotion of what they were just feeling.
Ex: You are wearing the gloves of feeling and notice that your friend is extremely happy, you go and say hi making your friend extremely depressed. The next day, you go to your friends house, and are horrified to find your friends corpse next to a suicide note.
This glass bottle looks like a normal bottle, but when you pour a liquid into it, the liquid disappears, swallowed by a cosmic being in some far off universe. The bottle can have an infinite amount of liquid poured into it. If it takes damage or is thrown against a hard surface, the bottle breaks and a rift in space appears destroying, and I mean everything, in a 100-foot radius. You will be left with an 100-foot sphere of emptiness and small glass shards. Artifacts in the radius aren't destroyed, but instead either left there or teleported to some random plane of existence.
Rishma's Instant Shrine
This small statuette of a temple is 6-inches tall and made of marble. When put on the ground and the command word, chosen by the DM, is spoken, the statuette grows into a giant temple dedicated to no specific god. No creatures inhabit this and anything inside is destroyed when removed from the perimeter. If the command word is said again reversed, the temple shrinks. Saying the word reversed when the shrine is not large does nothing and vice versa if the word is said and the shrine is in place. The person or creature can not enter this shrine. If they try, they are hit by a wall exactly like a wall of force that only appears for them. When summoning the shrine for the first time, you can choose a type of creature not allowed to enter. See the monster manual for types of creatures. If a spell like teleport or transport via plants is used to get inside the temple, the temple reverts back to its shrunken version with a cooldown until the dawn of the next day. Disclaimer: This item is in no way like Daern's Instant Fortress...
Hears my idea the mighty gold box of suggestions and motivation
really you crank a lever on a gold box and it talks to you if you break it or through it away it will forever curse you. If you insult it it curses you and it can only be fixed by the box via apologizing. if you talk to it and be nice to it will give you buffs but it will then start asking for a jewel on its side and so on and so forth...
ps if you break it a little 3 inch goblin pops out of it hisses at you and runs away!
This glass bottle looks like a normal bottle, but when you pour a liquid into it, the liquid disappears, swallowed by a cosmic being in some far off universe. The bottle can have an infinite amount of liquid poured into it. If it takes damage or is thrown against a hard surface, the bottle breaks and a rift in space appears destroying, and I mean everything, in a 100-foot radius. You will be left with an 100-foot sphere of emptiness and small glass shards. Artifacts in the radius aren't destroyed, but instead either left there or teleported to some random plane of existence.
Useful in the elemental plane of water, you could use it to create a whirlpool that would eventually get most of the water from the plane of water.
I recently created a magic item called 'Bells and Whistles', which use to belong to a child always getting lost. Its a necklace that will ring loudly whenever the wearer leaves a 30ft radius of the creature with the highest wisdom(enemy or ally) and can be heard up to 60 ft. I honestly can't wait for them to find it.
This magic item functions as a one-way Sending spell. You can speak up to 25 words into it and any one creature within a mile whom you can picture in your mind will hear a message in their mind of your voice saying your words, but in an entirely different language. Roll 1d20 to determine which one.
The Helm of Reversal
This magic item grants a +1 to AC when worn. When the wearer attempts to jump or takes the dash action using this helmet, the wearer will gain the ability to fly at a speed equal to her move speed after after being lifted into the air upside down to a minimum height of 20 feet, which counts against the creature's movement. At the end of each round that the wearer is airborne, he much make a CON check to be avoid becoming dizzy and disoriented. A character made dizzy by this item suffers disadvantage on all attack rolls and to Dexterity, Intelligence, and Charisma saving throws and ability checks. Flight ends at the end of a round in which the wearer does not attempt to move and takes no actions, bonus actions or reactions, causing the wearer to float down towards the ground similar to a Feather Fall spell. Upon descent, the wearer takes on 1 level of exhaustion for every 1 minute spent in the air. A Remove Curse or Dispel Magic spell cast on the helm and not the wearer will temporarily stop all magic on the item for 1 hour and cause the wear to plummet towards the ground.
Wearing this cloak increases your passive perception by 2 at all times and by 4 after combat between long rests. After one day of use, you start to become nervous of anyone else touching your items, especially food, water and potions. You will always suspect that anything you did not prepare with your own hands is poisoned and you will take measures to check for poison, including having other people test your food or casting spells to find poison, at all practical times. After wearing this cloak for a week, your jumpiness impacts your ability to benefit from rests. You only gain 1/2 the hit points rolled from short rests and your long rests take 10 hours.
Or a Wand of Magic Whistles?
Everytime you use this wand, roll 1d10. On a roll of 9 or 10, all monsters within 90 feet of you with advantage to perception checks via their hearing suffer 2d4 temporary thunder damage and become deafened for one minute. No creature may be reduced to less than 1 hp this way. On a roll of 7 or 8, any creatures within a 5 foot radius from a point you choose within 90 feet become unable to use reactions until the end of their next turn. On a roll of 4 to 6, any one instance of thunder damage inflicted on the user of this wand is canceled if it takes place within the following minute. On a roll of 2 to 3, all creatures within 1 mile with the ability to hear become aware of your location. On a roll of 1, you and all creatures of the same race within 30 feet become deafened for the next minute.
Haste yourself, use haste action to activate boots of extra action, use new action to make an attack. You now have your full attack action rather than just the one. Not useless. Just mostly useless.
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off the top of my head, ones i've made in the past
wand of the sewers, it was a wand of wonder but everything that could come with extra sewage did.and if it was an offensive spell it made the target smell like they'd fallen in a midden, the butterflies were turned into flies and everyone smelled like they'd fallen in a midden.
wand of magic missiles that fired winged kisses, that would flutter over to their target and give them a kiss, while still acting as a magic missile.
wand of magic missiles that in stead of firing missiles a pillow materialised over the target and then started hitting them. then vanished with a pop
wand of magic missiles that fired saucepans. worked exactly the same as a normal wand but each missile was a saucepan that vanished as soon as it hit.
wand of sleep that sang go to sleep my baby when you cast it.
wand of stinking cloud that made a loud farting sound at the point the cloud formed.
All plans turn into, run into the room waving a sword and see what happens from there, once the first die gets rolled
My personal favorite is the Boots of Stickiness.
Boots of Stickiness:
When you wear these boots, you can walk in difficult terrain as if it was normal terrain and you get a climbing speed of 30 feet. For every hour you keep them on, the stickiness increases. If you wear them for 3 hours, there is a Strength check of 3 to remove them. All hours worn add up until it is impossible to take these boots off. Once the boots get over 30 in stickiness, your walking speed is reduced by half and you have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws and stealth checks. They make squelching noises when you walk as well. These boots are cursed. The only way to remove the curse and turn these boots into regular boots is to use a Remove Curse spell or something of higher level. Once the curse is removed, the boots explode and everything in a 10-foot radius is covered in sticky yellow gloop.
it's been a long time...
So wait, with that bonus does it only throws a dwarf who tries to throw it? Or when you attempt to throw it, it stays in your hand and a random dwarf is teleported and flung as a projectile?
When thrown by a nondwarf, a random dwarf who is proficient with the hammer is summoned and thrown with the hammer.
The dwarf you summon was like doing something more important than being thrown at your enemies and feels rather like friends had been cast on him or her.
ring of recent resistance
it is also known as the ring of too little too late.
You gain resistance to the spell that was just cast on you for your next turn.
<(*_*)> Giffard
One that I recently created:
The Black Mask of the Faceless Cult. It is a black ceramic mask with a non descript face. Indestructible. When put on, it grants the user darkvision, face blindness(all faces are blank and blurry of other people), and -1 charisma modifier. This mask can not be removed and is unaffected by remove curse and related magic. The mask will fall off if you draw a face on it.
My party was lucky that a non darkvison character put it on, or they would have never figured that out. I expected them to take a few sessions to happen across the removal procedure but it was the next session. The players loved it. It will be useful later, and a bit silly.
The latest one I gave them I took straight from the podcast "hello from the magic tavern": the bowl of watery death. Who ever puts water in the bowl will shrink and drown in the bowl. I'm running a desert setting and one of the members almost immediately put water in it, but everyone mentioned that they just traded their water in for coin, and in quickly moved on with the encounter before they realized they had other sources. I hope they actually "figure" out what the bowl is and come up with a sweet use for it with out killing a pc in the process.
My goal is to hand one wacky item to them a session.
Gloves of Feeling
Grants you the ability to know the emotions of anyone in a 100 foot radius. The kicker, whatever you say to them makes them feel the opposite emotion of what they were just feeling.
Ex: You are wearing the gloves of feeling and notice that your friend is extremely happy, you go and say hi making your friend extremely depressed. The next day, you go to your friends house, and are horrified to find your friends corpse next to a suicide note.
The Bottle of Emptiness
This glass bottle looks like a normal bottle, but when you pour a liquid into it, the liquid disappears, swallowed by a cosmic being in some far off universe. The bottle can have an infinite amount of liquid poured into it. If it takes damage or is thrown against a hard surface, the bottle breaks and a rift in space appears destroying, and I mean everything, in a 100-foot radius. You will be left with an 100-foot sphere of emptiness and small glass shards. Artifacts in the radius aren't destroyed, but instead either left there or teleported to some random plane of existence.
Rishma's Instant Shrine
This small statuette of a temple is 6-inches tall and made of marble. When put on the ground and the command word, chosen by the DM, is spoken, the statuette grows into a giant temple dedicated to no specific god. No creatures inhabit this and anything inside is destroyed when removed from the perimeter. If the command word is said again reversed, the temple shrinks. Saying the word reversed when the shrine is not large does nothing and vice versa if the word is said and the shrine is in place. The person or creature can not enter this shrine. If they try, they are hit by a wall exactly like a wall of force that only appears for them. When summoning the shrine for the first time, you can choose a type of creature not allowed to enter. See the monster manual for types of creatures. If a spell like teleport or transport via plants is used to get inside the temple, the temple reverts back to its shrunken version with a cooldown until the dawn of the next day. Disclaimer: This item is in no way like Daern's Instant Fortress...
it's been a long time...
These would give a thief unlimited actions, because of fast hands, if it doesn't say fast hands doesn't apply.
Hears my idea the mighty gold box of suggestions and motivation
really you crank a lever on a gold box and it talks to you if you break it or through it away it will forever curse you. If you insult it it curses you and it can only be fixed by the box via apologizing. if you talk to it and be nice to it will give you buffs but it will then start asking for a jewel on its side and so on and so forth...
ps if you break it a little 3 inch goblin pops out of it hisses at you and runs away!
Not unlimited actions, but it would actually give an extra action. Thief still has to use bonus action to activate it.
I know what you're thinking: "In that flurry of blows, did he use all his ki points, or save one?" Well, are ya feeling lucky, punk?
Here's one I put in a hag's lair: Jar of Watchfulness.
(One of the PCs threw a cloak over it.)
Recently returned to D&D after 20+ years.
Unapologetic.
Super useful against Warlocks, actually.
Looking for new subclasses, spells, magic items, feats, and races? Opinions welcome :)
Useful in the elemental plane of water, you could use it to create a whirlpool that would eventually get most of the water from the plane of water.
I've always been a fan of the +1 Hammer of Occasional Returning, which is a throwing hammer that returns to its owner's hand on a miss.
I recently created a magic item called 'Bells and Whistles', which use to belong to a child always getting lost. Its a necklace that will ring loudly whenever the wearer leaves a 30ft radius of the creature with the highest wisdom(enemy or ally) and can be heard up to 60 ft. I honestly can't wait for them to find it.
Monty pythons spell book is something ive discussed with players full of ridiculous magic based on monty python films
The Horn of Jamming
This magic item functions as a one-way Sending spell. You can speak up to 25 words into it and any one creature within a mile whom you can picture in your mind will hear a message in their mind of your voice saying your words, but in an entirely different language. Roll 1d20 to determine which one.
The Helm of Reversal
This magic item grants a +1 to AC when worn. When the wearer attempts to jump or takes the dash action using this helmet, the wearer will gain the ability to fly at a speed equal to her move speed after after being lifted into the air upside down to a minimum height of 20 feet, which counts against the creature's movement. At the end of each round that the wearer is airborne, he much make a CON check to be avoid becoming dizzy and disoriented. A character made dizzy by this item suffers disadvantage on all attack rolls and to Dexterity, Intelligence, and Charisma saving throws and ability checks. Flight ends at the end of a round in which the wearer does not attempt to move and takes no actions, bonus actions or reactions, causing the wearer to float down towards the ground similar to a Feather Fall spell. Upon descent, the wearer takes on 1 level of exhaustion for every 1 minute spent in the air. A Remove Curse or Dispel Magic spell cast on the helm and not the wearer will temporarily stop all magic on the item for 1 hour and cause the wear to plummet towards the ground.
How about a Cloak of Wariness ?
Wearing this cloak increases your passive perception by 2 at all times and by 4 after combat between long rests. After one day of use, you start to become nervous of anyone else touching your items, especially food, water and potions. You will always suspect that anything you did not prepare with your own hands is poisoned and you will take measures to check for poison, including having other people test your food or casting spells to find poison, at all practical times. After wearing this cloak for a week, your jumpiness impacts your ability to benefit from rests. You only gain 1/2 the hit points rolled from short rests and your long rests take 10 hours.
Or a Wand of Magic Whistles?
Everytime you use this wand, roll 1d10. On a roll of 9 or 10, all monsters within 90 feet of you with advantage to perception checks via their hearing suffer 2d4 temporary thunder damage and become deafened for one minute. No creature may be reduced to less than 1 hp this way. On a roll of 7 or 8, any creatures within a 5 foot radius from a point you choose within 90 feet become unable to use reactions until the end of their next turn. On a roll of 4 to 6, any one instance of thunder damage inflicted on the user of this wand is canceled if it takes place within the following minute. On a roll of 2 to 3, all creatures within 1 mile with the ability to hear become aware of your location. On a roll of 1, you and all creatures of the same race within 30 feet become deafened for the next minute.
Haste yourself, use haste action to activate boots of extra action, use new action to make an attack. You now have your full attack action rather than just the one.
Not useless. Just mostly useless.