Kazimir chuckles at Kai’s response, “This is, ok. Please, tell us the story.” Kaz looks over at Kai, that is one interesting person...

"Wonderful!" she beams, nearly bursting with pride and excitement.

"THIS particular artifact I got from a priest who found it on his altar boy with no arms! Such an incredible story." she begins. "According to the priest, one day he was looking for an altar boy to help him ring the bell on the top of the tower. So, one day, an altar boy knocked on the door responding to the help wanted ad from the cathedral and the priest answered. It was an altar boy with no arms! He said, i'm here for the job, priest! But the priest said, but son, you have no arms! How are you doing to ring the bell?? And the altar boy said, duh, I know! I can do it with my face! And the priest said, wut?? And the altar boy said, yeah! Watch! So they both went up the tower to the bell, the altar boy took a running start and..BOOONNNGGGG! He hit the bell with his face! So the priest was like (Maccath makes a shocked face), you've got the job! And the altar boy was like, yayyy!! So, for the next few days, each time the bell needed to be rung, the altar boy would wind up, run, and hit the bell with his face! BOONNNNGGGG! However, after a number of days doing this, the altar boy's face was like a pancake, so, the next time he rang the bell, he MISSED and flew right through the towers bell door, and came crashing down to the ground, SPLAT!!! Well, at that moment, people in the temple saw what had happened, came running out, and surrounded the altar boy with the smashed face! One of the asked, who is it?! who is it?!? And another member said.."

She takes a deep breath for the punchline..

"I dunno! But his FACE sure rings a BELL!"

And she crumples to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Anyways," she says, wiping tears from her eyes. "This item was on the altar boy. I'm having it identified."

Kai nods along as Maccath tells the tale, completely enraptured by the story itself. Then the punchline. “Hrk— Pfthahahah!” He bursts out in a fit of laughter along side her, holding his stomach as he leans forward. “T-that— haha— that was GREAT.” 

After needing a minute to compose himself, he takes a deep breath, followed by another set of giggles once the thought of the punchline ran through his head again. “Alright. Okay. I’m Gucci, I’m Gucci.” He clears his throat, then says, “Pretty sure we can deliver this to your friend no problem! Rest assured it’ll be in safe hands!”

Kazimir looks at Maccath with a dead pan face for a long moment after the story, then, a smile cracks across their face, “Smart, passionate AND funny! Ah, you are lucky I am on the job, or else I might just fall in love with you, yes? Face rings a bell.... this is funny!”

As the story went on, Lucas was a bit confused, but once the punchline hit, it clicked in place and he smirked while letting out a small chuckle, "Nice~" He gives a thumbs up for the (albeit longwinded) joke.

She also hands you the gold in addition to the package. "Oh! That reminds me, have I told you guys about THIS!?" she turns around and whips out a huge stack of papers. "These are the military reports that account for many stories of soldiers and adventurers who's lives were lost in the attempt to bring Tiamat back to her home plane of Avernus. Oh! And the saving of Elturel. Now THAT is an incredible story!"

She rambles on like this for many more minutes.

Vetis blinks. And blinks again. After the third blink, she finishes translating everything into her first language, then translates it back... "Oh, I get it," she says quietly, far too late.

I don't.

You never get puns.

Vetis lets Maccath go on, the tiefling seeming a little distracted.

Realizing that she would likely keep going on and on....and on, if they let her, Lucas gives a mildly awkward cough before patting Maccath on the head, "That sounds great, but sadly we have to get back to the ship with the other packages before it takes off. Don't want to risk your package not getting to Ten-Towns, right?"

"Oh, do be careful with it!" Maccath suggests. "Are you sure you don't want to stay just a minute longer??" she begins to shuffle through her work as if desperately trying to find something else to share with you, in a manner that would indicate she does not get many visitors.

"I wish we could stay and listen to more stories, but we must be going. We will hopefully see you again when we return, yes?"

“Ah, yeah, Lucas is right,” Kai admits sadly, having almost agreed to listen to another one of her tales. “But, uh, I could come back after we finish our deliveries if you’d like! May take a couple days but still!”

Maccath reluctantly agrees and lets you all go. She thanks you all. In your hands is her package, and the gold to deliver it - which goes to the company. 

Alright lets see. Who's next. Ah, right. Vanifer. Vanifer, a disgraced cult leader with an affinity for fire; could be found sulking in the Ruins of Illusk, according to the pickup report.

PICK UP NUMBER TWO - VANIFER

Finding Vanifer requires you all to venture into the Ruins of Illusk at the heart of Luskan. It's not a very nice place. Kinda creepy. It's cold and dark and it's a large labyrinthine ruin. So here's what we're going to do. Everyone needs to roll a DC 18 Wisdom (Survival) check in order to navigate through the ruins and find this Vanifer gal. If you stay as a group and don't split up, i'll let you all roll at advantage as you collectively work together and try to find your way through. Good luck!

Just before they enter the labyrinth like ruins, the genasi turns to the others with a beaming smile. “Alright gang! What’s gonna work?!” Kai asks enthusiastically,, looking expectantly over them all. After an awkward moment of silence, he pipes up again. “That’s right! Teamwork! Let’s find this customer!”

Survival: 13

”****!”

Survival: 22

*Actually a 20 because I have a +3

During the entire Maccath debacle, Shrek just stood in the back of the group, keeping one eye on their carriage and one eye on Maccath.  All those words spewing out of her pretty face hurt his head, so eventually he ignored the interaction and sulked back to the carriage, waiting for them to finish up inside.

Upon reaching the Ruins of Illusk, Shrek wasn't bothered in the slightest (being to stupid to know any better), but the area was quite unfamiliar to him, so he was lost along with everyone else.

Shrek's DC18 Survival check: 19

Survival:18

Survival: 24

Lucas followed along with everyone else using his Wanderer-ing (background feat) to, if nothing else, keep them from going in circles or letting the group know if they passed by a spot before.

Survival: 25

Welp, too many nat20s and high rolls to let Kai ruin the whole journey through the ruins with that 13, so, around a few bends here, and a couple of right turns here..ah. Here we are. A tiefling sits before a simple campfire in a small corner of these twisting ruins.

"Ah. You must be the courier company, I hope. I could hear the swearing. I am Vanifer, former ruler of the Cult of Eternal Flame."

Vanifer, like Maccath, is a tiefling. Interestingly enough, she also has deep red skin with flowing long jet back hair. She wears robes that were clearly once splendid, but are now tattered and grimy. 

"We are indeed the courier company. Do you have a story for us to go along with your package and gold?"