The Absolutely Anything Thread

ohh furm!

Quote from Fay_the_Fox_Kit >>

Quote from THE_BARD_OF_THE_FEW >>

Quote from Fay_the_Fox_Kit >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

"THERE'S A MAGIC SYSTEM TO THIS I SWEAR!"

-Me after watching Red Bull commercials

...it gives you WINGS!!!

 Ok but hear me out, there's a commercial where a roadrunner drinks a red bull and becomes very fast. He's like, 'Yeah I know Red Bull gives you wings, but I'm scared of heights." In another commercial a devil is tricked into drinking Red Bull and getting wings. This implies that by harnessing your willpower, you can make Red Bull give you different types of abilities, but the default is specifically wings.

...I swear I'm sane

 there's also a couple where people just get really strong if I remember correctly. honestly you should make it

 I think there was one with a talking boar. would that imply the boar drank red bull.

 I think it could

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

"THERE'S A MAGIC SYSTEM TO THIS I SWEAR!"

-Me after watching Red Bull commercials

...it gives you WINGS!!!

 Ok but hear me out, there's a commercial where a roadrunner drinks a red bull and becomes very fast. He's like, 'Yeah I know Red Bull gives you wings, but I'm scared of heights." In another commercial a devil is tricked into drinking Red Bull and getting wings. This implies that by harnessing your willpower, you can make Red Bull give you different types of abilities, but the default is specifically wings.

...I swear I'm sane

....maybe? I've never seen the roadrunner, but I've seen the devil one...but I dunno. I've seen one where a zebra drinks it after seeing a crocodile. When the crocodile drags the zebra underwater, the zebra comes out with a crocodile-skin purse. So yeah? Sort of? 

RED BULL GIVES YOU...WINGS, SPEED, and/or SUPER-STRENGTH, as well as NOT-WELL-THOUGHT-THROUGH SLOGANS (characteristic to mass-media marketing) and A SH*T-TON OF ENERGY!? 

 I appear in a portal, carrying quotes from the quote thread. I enter my workshop and begin constructing my Red Bull magic system.

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Fay_the_Fox_Kit >>

Quote from THE_BARD_OF_THE_FEW >>

Quote from Fay_the_Fox_Kit >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

"THERE'S A MAGIC SYSTEM TO THIS I SWEAR!"

-Me after watching Red Bull commercials

...it gives you WINGS!!!

 Ok but hear me out, there's a commercial where a roadrunner drinks a red bull and becomes very fast. He's like, 'Yeah I know Red Bull gives you wings, but I'm scared of heights." In another commercial a devil is tricked into drinking Red Bull and getting wings. This implies that by harnessing your willpower, you can make Red Bull give you different types of abilities, but the default is specifically wings.

...I swear I'm sane

 there's also a couple where people just get really strong if I remember correctly. honestly you should make it

 I think there was one with a talking boar. would that imply the boar drank red bull.

 I think it could

 

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

"THERE'S A MAGIC SYSTEM TO THIS I SWEAR!"

-Me after watching Red Bull commercials

...it gives you WINGS!!!

 Ok but hear me out, there's a commercial where a roadrunner drinks a red bull and becomes very fast. He's like, 'Yeah I know Red Bull gives you wings, but I'm scared of heights." In another commercial a devil is tricked into drinking Red Bull and getting wings. This implies that by harnessing your willpower, you can make Red Bull give you different types of abilities, but the default is specifically wings.

...I swear I'm sane

....maybe? I've never seen the roadrunner, but I've seen the devil one...but I dunno. I've seen one where a zebra drinks it after seeing a crocodile. When the crocodile drags the zebra underwater, the zebra comes out with a crocodile-skin purse. So yeah? Sort of? 

RED BULL GIVES YOU...WINGS, SPEED, and/or SUPER-STRENGTH, as well as NOT-WELL-THOUGHT-THROUGH SLOGANS (characteristic to mass-media marketing) and A SH*T-TON OF ENERGY!? 

 I appear in a portal, carrying quotes from the quote thread. I enter my workshop and begin constructing my Red Bull magic system.

I supply the Red Bull, making plenty of money from it. Us extradimensional corporate entities must get those greenbacks, after all!

I perform a dark ritual to summon the cabbage man....

(whos the cabbage man?)

also, how had i never heard of sn0wcrash? they're like, awesome

Quote from Foalin_DM_of_the_Nine_Hells >>

I perform a dark ritual to summon the cabbage man....

(whos the cabbage man?)

also, how had i never heard of sn0wcrash? they're like, awesome

XD. Very niche. 

The cabbage man…presumably a man of the…*one of those pauses and then a loud gasp with thunder crackling in the background*…CABBAGE ORDER!!!

i summon fifty thousand million billion trillion googolplex tiny eyeballs 

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

 Is monster energy the martial class equivalent? Or the charisma class equivalent (idk It just has bard vibes and some charisma rogue vibes. And defiantly sorcerer vibes*

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

 Effects: WINGS

my thousands of tiny eyeballs are watching everything in the entire universe.

my brother just tried to poison Jeff the Evil Roomba with poisoned clay

Quote from Foalin_DM_of_the_Nine_Hells >>

my thousands of tiny eyeballs are watching everything in the entire universe.

my brother just tried to poison Jeff the Evil Roomba with poisoned clay

 WHAT!

Quote from TheGatoLover >>

Quote from Foalin_DM_of_the_Nine_Hells >>

my thousands of tiny eyeballs are watching everything in the entire universe.

my brother just tried to poison Jeff the Evil Roomba with poisoned clay

 WHAT!

 I agree with Gato. An explanation is in order.

...even if I probably have to get off before I see it.

Quote from ThatOneKindaBrokenSoul99984 >>

Quote from TheGatoLover >>

Quote from Foalin_DM_of_the_Nine_Hells >>

my thousands of tiny eyeballs are watching everything in the entire universe.

my brother just tried to poison Jeff the Evil Roomba with poisoned clay

 WHAT!

 I agree with Gato. An explanation is in order.

...even if I probably have to get off before I see it.

 i was telling my older brother about Jeff and the cult, and he pretended to throw some clay at me, and when i said i would offer it to Jeff, he said it was poisoned

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

How're the tests going? 

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

How're the tests going? 

 I have yet to begin writing down the properties of Red Bull. However, when given to weak willed peasants the result is always wings, while more strong willed peasants can yield other results, further proving my theory.

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

How're the tests going? 

 I have yet to begin writing down the properties of Red Bull. However, when given to weak willed peasants the result is always wings, while more strong willed peasants can yield other results, further proving my theory.

Does anybody really know why it's called Red Bull? 

I know that it's how it translates from Thai, but...like, there's no bulls involved? 

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

How're the tests going? 

 I have yet to begin writing down the properties of Red Bull. However, when given to weak willed peasants the result is always wings, while more strong willed peasants can yield other results, further proving my theory.

Does anybody really know why it's called Red Bull? 

I know that it's how it translates from Thai, but...like, there's no bulls involved? 

 I'm assuming you're asking IRL in which case, I don't really know. Let me look it up rq

Ok apparently it's because bulls are viewed as powerful, resilient, etc., so Red Bull should make you like a bull in terms of energy. Something like that.

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from Weslockes >>

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

*I'd quote the Red Bull thing but it's a long chain*

So I'll probably just have to make the Red Bull a magic item, since with it only giving passive abilities I don't think it would be very viable as a spellcasting method. Unless you're a spellcaster who gains power from Red Bull and has to drink it regularly, or a sorcerer who instead of draconic blood or whatever just has Red Bull running through their veins and can cast through that. Maybe I'll make those into subclasses in the future but right now it'll be a magic item.

As for the lore, the beverage is the Weave (threads of existence that spellcasters manipulate) in pure concentrated form, as well as a connection with the gods higher up. In particular, this beverage connects you with a minotaur god that possesses a crimson hue. When you drink this, the power of the god and the weave course through you, granting you 1. A (gp) ton of energy (represented through increased speed, bonus to physical ability scores, etc), and 2. A power of your choice. A Wisdom or Charisma check must be made when drinking Red Bull, or else you'll grow wings that are controlled by the DM. If you succeed the check, you can choose a power from a table.

I thank Wes for the large supply of Red Bulls. I begin distributing them to the public (for a price, of course) to study their effects.

How're the tests going? 

 I have yet to begin writing down the properties of Red Bull. However, when given to weak willed peasants the result is always wings, while more strong willed peasants can yield other results, further proving my theory.

Does anybody really know why it's called Red Bull? 

I know that it's how it translates from Thai, but...like, there's no bulls involved? 

 I'm assuming you're asking IRL in which case, I don't really know. Let me look it up rq

Ok apparently it's because bulls are viewed as powerful, resilient, etc., so Red Bull should make you like a bull in terms of energy. Something like that.

Huh. I wonder why it gives people wings. >_< 

Blerg, hi