Hi, so over the past few days I’ve found out what the word aromantic is. (Yes, from the Jaiden animations video) and it resonated with me. I felt like that’s what I was feeling. Since then I’ve researched it on my own and thought to myself “self, am I really aromantic?”

I read some things, like if you feel like you would rather have a close friend than I romantic relationship your probably aromantic. (Yes, I would rather have a friend)

if your questioning wether or not your aromantic, you probably are. (Yep, read the post?)

feel like you needed to “fabricate” a crush to fit in? (yep, definitely)

feel like it’s hard to tell the difference between romantic feelings and close friendship? (Not sure on this one. I’ve never had the “butterfly’s in stomach” feeling before so I don’t know…? But friendship sounds much better than a romantic relationship.)

do you feel like the amount of romance plots in books, movies, and media or boring? (110%. I think there really boring)

don’t understand why romance plots seemed to be forced upon any movie or song they can? (It’s unnecessary, why so many romance songs?)

haven’t felt that “butterflies in stomach” feeling? Do you approach most relationships logically? (Yes. I’ve always struggled to think why you would keep anyone around if they weren’t a good friend. And no, no butterflies so far.

what do you think, stranger on the internet? Because I’m also aware that being aromantic is the lack of a feeling. Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else. I’m not upset about being aromantic or not being aromantic. It just feels like a new filing category I can put some papers of my self into.

(also, last thing. The word “aromantic” seems to not be a word? It has the red underline wanting me to correct to “a romantic” which is the opposite of what I think I am. But when I google it, it comes up as a dictionary word. What’s up with that?)

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

Sedge is right, at 40 I am not the same person I was at 20, when I was not the same person I was in my teens. Who knows how you’re gonna feel in another 10, 20, or 30 years?

Don’t label yourself, just be yourself. The world will label you enough, trust me.

Quote from plopped123 >>

Hi, so over the past few days I’ve found out what the word aromantic is. (Yes, from the Jaiden animations video) and it resonated with me. I felt like that’s what I was feeling. Since then I’ve researched it on my own and thought to myself “self, am I really aromantic?”

I read some things, like if you feel like you would rather have a close friend than I romantic relationship your probably aromantic. (Yes, I would rather have a friend)

if your questioning wether or not your aromantic, you probably are. (Yep, read the post?)

feel like you needed to “fabricate” a crush to fit in? (yep, definitely)

feel like it’s hard to tell the difference between romantic feelings and close friendship? (Not sure on this one. I’ve never had the “butterfly’s in stomach” feeling before so I don’t know…? But friendship sounds much better than a romantic relationship.)

do you feel like the amount of romance plots in books, movies, and media or boring? (110%. I think there really boring)

don’t understand why romance plots seemed to be forced upon any movie or song they can? (It’s unnecessary, why so many romance songs?)

haven’t felt that “butterflies in stomach” feeling? Do you approach most relationships logically? (Yes. I’ve always struggled to think why you would keep anyone around if they weren’t a good friend. And no, no butterflies so far.

what do you think, stranger on the internet? Because I’m also aware that being aromantic is the lack of a feeling. Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else. I’m not upset about being aromantic or not being aromantic. It just feels like a new filing category I can put some papers of my self into.

(also, last thing. The word “aromantic” seems to not be a word? It has the red underline wanting me to correct to “a romantic” which is the opposite of what I think I am. But when I google it, it comes up as a dictionary word. What’s up with that?)

 If you are aro, then welcome to the community!! But as Sedge(The Great and Wise :)) said, its probably best to give it some time first. 

I am the opposite of aromantic lol. But from what I’ve gathered from talking to people who are, I agree with all the advice that’s been given here. Just don’t worry about it for now and enjoy your friendships.

I assume you play D&D like the rest of us since you’re on this forum. How do you feel about romantic relationships in-game?

Hey! your starting to find yourself! Good! Now like the above said, just be yourself, you'll find yourself, it doesn't matter what your label is as long as you know what makes you happy, you don't HAVE to label yourself but some find themselves more at peace when they do. But by your note that its just "Hey this sounds like me, maybe this is something I can tell people I am" and nothing more than that, I don't really know if it'll have any effect on you. point is do what makes you happy and yourself, don't force yourself into anything you don't want. I was glad that I saw you didn't feel like an odd one out, or one in the sense of "why aren't I normal?" while having a mental breakdown, so since this is just something that is more of an on paper thing rather to finding yourself so your at peace with yourself thing, take your time looking at the things under the umbrella of Aromantic to see what fits you as a person, & you might a new thing that fits you, or you might change. Because I saw something in a video looking through posts that is something good to go by, it went something like "I like to think of the labels for S*xual (not sure if I need to censor or not) Orientation, gender, and whatnot as a label for who am now & it might change as a grow, as opposed to this is me forever and then needing to have another identity crisis and mental breakdown every time I feel a little different about it.". That should just be how it is. 

Any way if any of that made sense your welcome but it might not & I only know so much on this so *shrug*. You can always listen to the much more competent people above me for practically guaranteed better help.

(p.s. Aromantic is a thing its just some keyboards only have old-ish dictionaries linked to them with no slang whatsoever so that's probably why there's a red line, just add it to your dictionary on your device.)

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Hey! your starting to find yourself! Good! Now like the above said, just be yourself, you'll find yourself, it doesn't matter what your label is as long as you know what makes you happy, you don't HAVE to label yourself but some find themselves more at peace when they do. But by your note that its just "Hey this sounds like me, maybe this is something I can tell people I am" and nothing more than that, I don't really know if it'll have any effect on you. point is do what makes you happy and yourself, don't force yourself into anything you don't want. I was glad that I saw you didn't feel like an odd one out, or one in the sense of "why aren't I normal?" while having a mental breakdown, so since this is just something that is more of an on paper thing rather to finding yourself so your at peace with yourself thing, take your time looking at the things under the umbrella of Aromantic to see what fits you as a person, & you might a new thing that fits you, or you might change. Because I saw something in a video looking through posts that is something good to go by, it went something like "I like to think of the labels for S*xual (not sure if I need to censor or not) Orientation, gender, and whatnot as a label for who am now & it might change as a grow, as opposed to this is me forever and then needing to have another identity crisis and mental breakdown every time I feel a little different about it.". That should just be how it is. 

Any way if any of that made sense your welcome but it might not & I only know so much on this so *shrug*. You can always listen to the much more competent people above me for practically guaranteed better help.

(p.s. Aromantic is a thing its just some keyboards only have old-ish dictionaries linked to them with no slang whatsoever so that's probably why there's a red line, just add it to your dictionary on your device.)

 Thanks! I didn’t know you could add things to your dictionary, thanks! Anyway, some good advice. I was more thinking as what you said, a label I can tell other people not something I’m flipping out about, haven’t had any mental breakdowns about not being normal. (And no, you made perfect sense. Some of your sentences were long… but I have that problem to. So I get it.)

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

I am the opposite of aromantic lol. But from what I’ve gathered from talking to people who are, I agree with all the advice that’s been given here. Just don’t worry about it for now and enjoy your friendships.

I assume you play D&D like the rest of us since you’re on this forum. How do you feel about romantic relationships in-game?

 I will, I don’t feel any pressure to start being aromantic or not be aromantic. As life goes on I find more and more about myself I can change my label, or do whatever. Also, I do play DND! It’s quite great! As for romantic relationships, none of my char haters have had one yet, but I’m not opposed to the idea? Like, I don’t really want to have a romantic relationship but my characters might? I don’t know. Seems situational.

edit: woah! Didn’t even sedge’s post! Or IamSposta! I agree, I don’t need to have a label (not something I’m worrying about, as I’ve said) I’ll just go with the flow. Whatever makes me happy is probably most likely what I’ll go with. And your right, I’m definitely going to change over the years so not worrying about that change is probably for the best. Additionally… jumping back to sedge’s post… I 100% agree. I feel like younger and younger kids are having to have relationships to be… normal? Fit in? Be kids? I’m not sure why they think they need to do it. I think it’s pretty weird, and gross. 

Quote from plopped123 >>

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Hey! your starting to find yourself! Good! Now like the above said, just be yourself, you'll find yourself, it doesn't matter what your label is as long as you know what makes you happy, you don't HAVE to label yourself but some find themselves more at peace when they do. But by your note that its just "Hey this sounds like me, maybe this is something I can tell people I am" and nothing more than that, I don't really know if it'll have any effect on you. point is do what makes you happy and yourself, don't force yourself into anything you don't want. I was glad that I saw you didn't feel like an odd one out, or one in the sense of "why aren't I normal?" while having a mental breakdown, so since this is just something that is more of an on paper thing rather to finding yourself so your at peace with yourself thing, take your time looking at the things under the umbrella of Aromantic to see what fits you as a person, & you might a new thing that fits you, or you might change. Because I saw something in a video looking through posts that is something good to go by, it went something like "I like to think of the labels for S*xual (not sure if I need to censor or not) Orientation, gender, and whatnot as a label for who am now & it might change as a grow, as opposed to this is me forever and then needing to have another identity crisis and mental breakdown every time I feel a little different about it.". That should just be how it is. 

Any way if any of that made sense your welcome but it might not & I only know so much on this so *shrug*. You can always listen to the much more competent people above me for practically guaranteed better help.

(p.s. Aromantic is a thing its just some keyboards only have old-ish dictionaries linked to them with no slang whatsoever so that's probably why there's a red line, just add it to your dictionary on your device.)

 Thanks! I didn’t know you could add things to your dictionary, thanks! Anyway, some good advice. I was more thinking as what you said, a label I can tell other people not something I’m flipping out about, haven’t had any mental breakdowns about not being normal. (And no, you made perfect sense. Some of your sentences were long… but I have that problem to. So I get it.)

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

I am the opposite of aromantic lol. But from what I’ve gathered from talking to people who are, I agree with all the advice that’s been given here. Just don’t worry about it for now and enjoy your friendships.

I assume you play D&D like the rest of us since you’re on this forum. How do you feel about romantic relationships in-game?

 I will, I don’t feel any pressure to start being aromantic or not be aromantic. As life goes on I find more and more about myself I can change my label, or do whatever. Also, I do play DND! It’s quite great! As for romantic relationships, none of my char haters have had one yet, but I’m not opposed to the idea? Like, I don’t really want to have a romantic relationship but my characters might? I don’t know. Seems situational.

edit: woah! Didn’t even sedge’s post! Or IamSposta! I agree, I don’t need to have a label (not something I’m worrying about, as I’ve said) I’ll just go with the flow. Whatever makes me happy is probably most likely what I’ll go with. And your right, I’m definitely going to change over the years so not worrying about that change is probably for the best. Additionally… jumping back to sedge’s post… I 100% agree. I feel like younger and younger kids are having to have relationships to be… normal? Fit in? Be kids? I’m not sure why they think they need to do it. I think it’s pretty weird, and gross. 

 Maybe if you have a DM who’s into it you could explore a romantic relationship through one of your characters. That could help you come to a firmer conclusion about whether you feel like you’re aro or not. But again, no need to rush. Like I said, enjoy life, enjoy your friendships and if an opportunity for romance comes along, you can deal with it then.

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

Quote from ItsNotAChest >>

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

 humanity forcing romance?

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Quote from ItsNotAChest >>

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

 humanity forcing romance?

 I don’t believe romance should be forced. That being said, kids as young as 11 or 12 can fall in love (I had my first crush at 7 and my first kiss at 13). Watch the movie Little Manhattan if you don’t believe me.

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Quote from ItsNotAChest >>

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

 humanity forcing romance?

 Nah, romance as a way of fitting in. 

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Quote from ItsNotAChest >>

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

 humanity forcing romance?

 I don’t believe romance should be forced. That being said, kids as young as 11 or 12 can fall in love (I had my first crush at 7 and my first kiss at 13). Watch the movie Little Manhattan if you don’t believe me.

 It’s more about the people who don’t fall in love at that age, think someone who doesn’t feel any of those feelings but everyone else is, your not going to be feeling great. Or normal, which no one should have to feel. It’s definitely possible that you can fall in love at that age (although the media is kind of forcing that… I feel like it should be later.)

Quote from plopped123 >>

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

Quote from BluePhoenix710 >>

Quote from ItsNotAChest >>

Quote from Sedge >>

Quote from plopped123 >>

Romance. So what if I just haven’t experienced it yet? Some said around 10 should do. Some said into their 20’s. I’m in between those, leaning toward’s 10. But have I just not experienced romance yet? Also, side note. I’m not “worried” over this. I’m not getting stress because I don’t feel like everyone else.

 Today's culture has tried to sell younger and younger individuals on romantic engagements to the point where you need to participate to "fit in" almost.

I would disregard the whole topic for 10 years - not even bother with trying to classify yourself as one way or the other.  Live some life, grow, find your happiness.  You'll change 8 times over before that point and will be a completely different person.  There's no rush to fit in, become romantic, or label yourself things based on what or what not you feel today.

 THIS - I fell into the same. fricking. trap. And it greatly annoys me to no end. 

 humanity forcing romance?

 I don’t believe romance should be forced. That being said, kids as young as 11 or 12 can fall in love (I had my first crush at 7 and my first kiss at 13). Watch the movie Little Manhattan if you don’t believe me.

 It’s more about the people who don’t fall in love at that age, think someone who doesn’t feel any of those feelings but everyone else is, your not going to be feeling great. Or normal, which no one should have to feel. It’s definitely possible that you can fall in love at that age (although the media is kind of forcing that… I feel like it should be later.)

 Okay. That makes sense.

Humanity just kinda sucks ngl