The Untold Tales of Café [REDACTED] (SCP Tavern)

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A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 "Oh dear... " she watches the thing slither off before turning back to the man "No my friend, i prefer not to be around or have children." she said and chuckled

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

Quote from 0verkill >>

*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

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A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 Harvey cackles behind him "you are so weird"

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 

Quote from 0verkill >>

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Quote from Baalzeboop >>

A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 Harvey cackles behind him "you are so weird"

 *Me imagining an anime moment where Incorso gets the annoyed symbol on his head*

"I am probably the least weird one in this cafe, Harvey."

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

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A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 "I-I'm so sorry sir! It just saw you were bored and wanted to play!" He looks down at the blue, bullet-riddled monster on the floor. "Oh, you poor baby. You're coming out of my paycheck, aren't you?"

Quote from 0verkill >>

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 

Quote from 0verkill >>

Quote from Baalzeboop >>

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from Baalzeboop >>

A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 Harvey cackles behind him "you are so weird"

 *Me imagining an anime moment where Incorso gets the annoyed symbol on his head*

"I am probably the least weird one in this cafe, Harvey."

 Harvey stifles a laugh "The one who is the weirdest is the person saying they are normal"

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A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 "I-I'm so sorry sir! It just saw you were bored and wanted to play!" He looks down at the blue, bullet-riddled monster on the floor. "Oh, you poor baby. You're coming out of my paycheck, aren't you?"

 "Why does everyone assume I am bored? Forget it. What are you doing here, carrying an anomalous briefcase?"

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

 "No, your just rigid" he said and "Live a little doc"

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from 0verkill >>

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from 0verkill >>

*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 

Quote from 0verkill >>

Quote from Baalzeboop >>

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from Baalzeboop >>

A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 Harvey cackles behind him "you are so weird"

 *Me imagining an anime moment where Incorso gets the annoyed symbol on his head*

"I am probably the least weird one in this cafe, Harvey."

 Harvey stifles a laugh "The one who is the weirdest is the person saying they are normal"

 "I never said I was. Just the closest."

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

 "No, your just rigid" he said and "Live a little doc"

 "I lived a little in India. It was all I needed."

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*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

 "No, your just rigid" he said and "Live a little doc"

 "I lived a little in India. It was all I needed."

 "Still" he said and ordered himself a spicy hot chocolate 

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

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Quote from 0verkill >>

*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

 "No, your just rigid" he said and "Live a little doc"

 "I lived a little in India. It was all I needed."

 "Still" he said and ordered himself a spicy hot chocolate 

 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

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Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from 0verkill >>

*You know what? -returns your 0verkill-*

Incorso is sitting at a table, writing on a clipboard while drinking his chocolate coffee.

 *Time for Harvey >:]*

Harvey peers over, setting his book down. His peridot-colored-eyes narrow as a grin spreads over his face. The young man sneaks over and slaps a bunny sticker on his shoulder,

 There are a lot of words and numbers on the clipboard that Harvey would find quite boring. Right before the sticker could land on Incorso's shoulder, he scoots his chair to one side just enough that it misses. "Nice try, Harvey, but you're never going to get a sticker on me."

 Harvey grumbles and slaps one on his coffee mug "Not on you, but there to annoy you"

 "Just you existing is an annoyance." He rolls his eyes and tucks his clipboard into his coat, sipping from his coffee.

 "Your just boring" harvey said and chuckled

 "Boring is good. Boring means no trouble. You're trouble."

 "No, your just rigid" he said and "Live a little doc"

 "I lived a little in India. It was all I needed."

 "Still" he said and ordered himself a spicy hot chocolate 

 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

 "I may be annoying but for some reason your the OnLy one saying it" he says, a glint in his eyes as he grins

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

Quote from 0verkill >>

 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

 "I may be annoying but for some reason your the OnLy one saying it" he says, a glint in his eyes as he grins

 He raises an eyebrow. "I don't get what you just did."

Quote from 0verkill >>

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 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

 "I may be annoying but for some reason your the OnLy one saying it" he says, a glint in his eyes as he grins

 He raises an eyebrow. "I don't get what you just did."

 "Ill let you suffer with your own thoughts then" He said and sipped his hot chocolate. 

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A harried-looking man in a vibrantly colored suit stumbles in. He's desperately holding together a large briefcase with a broken clasp and the Wondertainment logo on it.

He sits down at a table and nervously examines the contents of the briefcase.

 Quill looks over and tilts her head before getting up and walking over. "Hello there" she said, her voice is soft.

 He jolts, despite her not trying to sneak up on him in any way. "Uh, h-hello there! Would you like to buy some Wondertainment products? I'm sure you have a kid or know a kid or have seen a kid that would love a- oh, no."

A large, slithering, fluff-covered creature makes its way towards Incorso.

 Incorso looks at the creature sharply for a moment before pulling a pistol out from his coat, standing up, and firing some shots into it. He kept a semi-emotionless face on during this moment. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I call in an MTF."

 "I-I'm so sorry sir! It just saw you were bored and wanted to play!" He looks down at the blue, bullet-riddled monster on the floor. "Oh, you poor baby. You're coming out of my paycheck, aren't you?"

 "Why does everyone assume I am bored? Forget it. What are you doing here, carrying an anomalous briefcase?"

 "I-It's mine, I'm afraid. I had a little bit of trouble on the way to Three Portlands, and it got a little damaged. I'm a salesman you see, and this thing has all my products in it. Also, for your inconvenience, I'm allowed to give you a free one."

He looks in his briefcase and pulls out a clipboard, also with the Wondertainment logo on it. "It says here that you would like desserts more than toys, pets, or any books I have left (those sell like Wondertainment-branded hotcakes), so how about..." He rummages through the briefcase again, going shoulder-deep into it. "One of these!"

He pulls out what looks like a small, plastic container of brightly colored material. "Just think of a sweet, and it becomes that!" Then, he says in an unnervingly fast voice "Wondertainmentisnotresponsiblefortheresultsofconsumingcandynotfromthisdimension. Undernocircumstanceshouldyoucreateanitemoffoodthatyouarenotbiologicallyequippedtoconsume."

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 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

 "I may be annoying but for some reason your the OnLy one saying it" he says, a glint in his eyes as he grins

 He raises an eyebrow. "I don't get what you just did."

 "Ill let you suffer with your own thoughts then" He said and sipped his hot chocolate. 

 He shrugs. "The less I hear your voice, the better." He picked up his mug and sipped his coffee chocolate.

Quote from 0verkill >>

Quote from WendigoOfLore >>

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Quote from 0verkill >>

 "How often are you told you are annoying? Most likely not often enough."

 "I may be annoying but for some reason your the OnLy one saying it" he says, a glint in his eyes as he grins

 He raises an eyebrow. "I don't get what you just did."

 "Ill let you suffer with your own thoughts then" He said and sipped his hot chocolate. 

 He shrugs. "The less I hear your voice, the better." He picked up his mug and sipped his coffee chocolate.

With a flick of his hand, he smacks the bottom of the cup Incorso is drinking out of, causing the liquid to splash Incorso.