We have a Beast Path Barbarian (UA version) in our party as out main tank, and we ran from level 3 to 7. He didn't drop below 50% HP for this whole time, so narratively he didn't get a scratch on him. In the previous fight he was teleported to the beginning of a dungeon when we fought the tomb guardian and got ganged up by 4 Revenants. By the time we killed guardian and run back to save him he was almost to the 50% and he dropped below with a critical hit just as we reached him. His reply was
"Yeah, so this is pain. Been a while since i felt it".
And then he bites Revenant's head of and regenerates back to above 50% HP.
From a stream during the process of transporting the party to Avernus...
NPC who opened the portal but is staying behind: (shouts) "Try not to make any deals!.." *players arrive in Avernus* Player 2: "What did she say?" Player 3: "I think she said, 'Try not to meet any eels.'"
This is the same campaign where Player 3 picked up a shield from a corpse and...
Voice (telepathically): "You should return me to the Nine Hells. I know a travelling merchant that would pay handsomely for my return. He's a Rakshasa by the name of Mahadi." Player 3: (attempting to repeat what he's hearing) "We need to go to... return the uh..." Voice: "He runs a Wandering Emporium. He would give you anything to know where I am." Player 3: "Okay... 'thing', I'm not very good at retaining information so... one more time?" Voice: "... Can I speak to someone else?" Player 3: "Just repeat everything you just said." Voice: "If you return me to the Nine Hells, I know of a travelling merchant who is a Rakshasa named Mahadi." Player 3: "Return you or the shield?" Voice: "I am the shield!" Player 3: "Right. Yeah." [OOC] I'm pickin' up this body and I'm takin' it. [IC] "Okay. Change of plans. We're taking this corpse to a Ratsnamnah--" Voice: "Rakshasa! Dear gods, can you pass me to someone else?!" Player 3: "...Rakshaksna--" Voice: "For the love of all things!" Player 2: "...and what are we doing?" Player 3: "We're taking this hyen to the Nine Hirrls." Voice: "NINE HELLS! That's not even a difficult word!"
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 3: "Right. Yeah." [OOC] I'm pickin' up this body and I'm takin' it. [IC] "Okay. Change of plans. We're taking this corpse to a Ratsnamnah--"
Wait... Did he even pick up the right thing?
Yep and nope. He ended up taking both the shield and the corpse of a long-dead and recently re-dead revered duke to a collector in town (not even in Avernus) who only wanted the shield. Because nobody outside of metagame knew what he was told, they all went with it. They kept asking people how to get to the Nine Hills[sic]. (He plays up his INT-1 but never to the point of disruption. They did make it to Avernus with only a minor, humorous delay.)
EDIT: Same campaign... Player 3: "Stop calling me a 'tuning fork'!"
The shield attuned Player 3 to Avernus to allow the party to travel there. The shield didn't go with them, though. They gave it to the Human collector, instead (because that's what Player 3 thought the shield/corpse wanted). When an NPC discovered that Player 3 was attuned to Avernus, he called player 3 a Tuning Fork. The party started referring to him as a tuning fork.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
“Ok, now that I’ve done the sensible thing, I’ll run in and get myself killed!”
”I honestly don’t even care what’s on the stat block anymore.”
”For someone with a whole “unerring instrument of divine justice” feel, you’re really susceptible to cute singing monster girls.”
”I spent an hour working on that puzzle and you just ELDRITCH BLASTED IT until it triggered?”
”The hag’s name is Auntie Morgie? That sounds like someone that, at worst, would buy you an ugly sweater every year for Christmas, not enslave a village!”
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
In D&D if you meet an old woman calling herself "Auntie" to everyone, she's absolutely a Hag.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Something akin to that happens in Baldur's Gate III Early Access even in Patch 3: If an enemy is killed on uneven terrain, the corpse might warp violently for a few seconds as if in a blender.🤣 (Ragdoll + clipping into a surface physics error.)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The group was captured and was led to the trap door. They each had to jump down into the hole. The trap door is shut on top about 10 feet above them. The group was real quiet for a few minutes. “Well… ****” Griffin says shattering the quiet, “smells like ass, like someone ripped ass for a month.”
We found a magical shield that lets the wielder see through evertything but flesh and bones, making everything else (including ground, clothes and your own weapon) invisible. It's non-attunement so you can only turn it off by doffing it, so it's more of a detriment than benefit. But it's also +2.
Fighter: I already have a magic shield and I think it would mess up my acrobatics if I don't see the ground and tables I jump on.
Barbarian: *Wordlessly shows his massive +3 dragonbone tower shield*
Priest (an openly bi guy chasing every pretty face he meets and trying to seduce and bed every single character in the group): Maybe I could...
Everyone: No. Just no. Don't even think.
Druid: So that leaves me. You guys realize this means I would stare at your naked butts every time we fight.
Priest: I know we're all dead sexy but I have faith in your restraint.
Goblin Booyahg (Enemy): "I call upon Maglubiyet. With Your powers, I cast upon my enemies, Bane!" Cleric: "Ahhh! ... Wait. I don't feel anything." Booyahg: "It gives you a 1d4 you have to subtract from your attacks and saves. You gotta admit. It's mildly annoying." Cleric: "It just doesn't seem like something that should be called Bane." Booyagh: "Well. 'Mildly Annoying' doesn't sound as dangerous as Bane. I'm level 1. Whadya want from me?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
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"So what's happening now?"
"I made a deal with the devil."
"Again?"
Our party was in the nine hells. That is all I will say.
For context, we're running Curse of Strahd, and our orc paladin has accepted the Dark Gift of reincarnation from the Amber Temple...
Orc Paladin: (excited) Guys! Kill me! Let's see if it works!
Goliath Fighter: (immediately moves to hold back my drow rogue) Don't. Just don't.
Drow Rogue: He is literally asking for it!!!
I mean, when someone wants it you should give it
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
We have a Beast Path Barbarian (UA version) in our party as out main tank, and we ran from level 3 to 7. He didn't drop below 50% HP for this whole time, so narratively he didn't get a scratch on him. In the previous fight he was teleported to the beginning of a dungeon when we fought the tomb guardian and got ganged up by 4 Revenants. By the time we killed guardian and run back to save him he was almost to the 50% and he dropped below with a critical hit just as we reached him. His reply was
"Yeah, so this is pain. Been a while since i felt it".
And then he bites Revenant's head of and regenerates back to above 50% HP.
From a stream during the process of transporting the party to Avernus...
NPC who opened the portal but is staying behind: (shouts) "Try not to make any deals!.."
*players arrive in Avernus*
Player 2: "What did she say?"
Player 3: "I think she said, 'Try not to meet any eels.'"
This is the same campaign where Player 3 picked up a shield from a corpse and...
Voice (telepathically): "You should return me to the Nine Hells. I know a travelling merchant that would pay handsomely for my return. He's a Rakshasa by the name of Mahadi."
Player 3: (attempting to repeat what he's hearing) "We need to go to... return the uh..."
Voice: "He runs a Wandering Emporium. He would give you anything to know where I am."
Player 3: "Okay... 'thing', I'm not very good at retaining information so... one more time?"
Voice: "... Can I speak to someone else?"
Player 3: "Just repeat everything you just said."
Voice: "If you return me to the Nine Hells, I know of a travelling merchant who is a Rakshasa named Mahadi."
Player 3: "Return you or the shield?"
Voice: "I am the shield!"
Player 3: "Right. Yeah." [OOC] I'm pickin' up this body and I'm takin' it. [IC] "Okay. Change of plans. We're taking this corpse to a Ratsnamnah--"
Voice: "Rakshasa! Dear gods, can you pass me to someone else?!"
Player 3: "...Rakshaksna--"
Voice: "For the love of all things!"
Player 2: "...and what are we doing?"
Player 3: "We're taking this hyen to the Nine Hirrls."
Voice: "NINE HELLS! That's not even a difficult word!"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"oh great. Now I'm addicted to magical honey"
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
“The quickling attacks Samso (character from a different campaign).”
*Gasp* “It’s an INTERDIMENSION QUICKLING!?”
After a darkling death burst’s into light: “He was all dark and goth on the outside, but inside he’s just a ray of sunshine!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
“Being a teifling isn’t evil. Thinking it’s cool that your dad made a deal with a devil and now you’re cursed with infernal power is evil.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Player 1 " Right so I'll use this really cool spell that gives me an awesome magic floating sword. "
Player 2 " What no don't, this guy is almost dead you'd only be wasting spell slots. "
Player 1 " Fine. "
Player 2 " I need to go do something for a bit, but I'll be back quickly. "
Player 1 to DM " I waste my spell slots "
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
Wait... Did he even pick up the right thing?
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
“Seem’s like you’ve rethought your decision to let us fight a hag unsupervised!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
"As you make your beetle jerky, you remember something your father used to tell you back in Ravnica: Slap into a Slim Jim"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Yep and nope. He ended up taking both the shield and the corpse of a long-dead and recently re-dead revered duke to a collector in town (not even in Avernus) who only wanted the shield. Because nobody outside of metagame knew what he was told, they all went with it. They kept asking people how to get to the Nine Hills[sic]. (He plays up his INT-1 but never to the point of disruption. They did make it to Avernus with only a minor, humorous delay.)
EDIT: Same campaign...
Player 3: "Stop calling me a 'tuning fork'!"
The shield attuned Player 3 to Avernus to allow the party to travel there. The shield didn't go with them, though. They gave it to the Human collector, instead (because that's what Player 3 thought the shield/corpse wanted). When an NPC discovered that Player 3 was attuned to Avernus, he called player 3 a Tuning Fork. The party started referring to him as a tuning fork.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
“Ok, now that I’ve done the sensible thing, I’ll run in and get myself killed!”
”I honestly don’t even care what’s on the stat block anymore.”
”For someone with a whole “unerring instrument of divine justice” feel, you’re really susceptible to cute singing monster girls.”
”I spent an hour working on that puzzle and you just ELDRITCH BLASTED IT until it triggered?”
”The hag’s name is Auntie Morgie? That sounds like someone that, at worst, would buy you an ugly sweater every year for Christmas, not enslave a village!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
In D&D if you meet an old woman calling herself "Auntie" to everyone, she's absolutely a Hag.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 1 fighting a 60yr old guard who only has a stool for a weapon : Okay that's a crit, 8 damage
DM : Okay that's a hit
Player 1 : And in addition when I get a crit he suffers about half that damage on his next turn
DM : Okay he's dead
Player 2 : Why are we killing the guards? We didn't agree on this
Player 1 six seconds later : Has six seconds passed?
DM : Yes
Player 1 : You know that body? Imagine if it went into a blender for a second.
DM : He's having a really bad day
Me : Why is it taking so long to free our Bear from jail, he's literally right next to us.
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
Something akin to that happens in Baldur's Gate III Early Access even in Patch 3: If an enemy is killed on uneven terrain, the corpse might warp violently for a few seconds as if in a blender.🤣 (Ragdoll + clipping into a surface physics error.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The group was captured and was led to the trap door. They each had to jump down into the hole. The trap door is shut on top about 10 feet above them. The group was real quiet for a few minutes. “Well… ****” Griffin says shattering the quiet, “smells like ass, like someone ripped ass for a month.”
We found a magical shield that lets the wielder see through evertything but flesh and bones, making everything else (including ground, clothes and your own weapon) invisible. It's non-attunement so you can only turn it off by doffing it, so it's more of a detriment than benefit. But it's also +2.
Fighter: I already have a magic shield and I think it would mess up my acrobatics if I don't see the ground and tables I jump on.
Barbarian: *Wordlessly shows his massive +3 dragonbone tower shield*
Priest (an openly bi guy chasing every pretty face he meets and trying to seduce and bed every single character in the group): Maybe I could...
Everyone: No. Just no. Don't even think.
Druid: So that leaves me. You guys realize this means I would stare at your naked butts every time we fight.
Priest: I know we're all dead sexy but I have faith in your restraint.
From a comic:
Goblin Booyahg (Enemy): "I call upon Maglubiyet. With Your powers, I cast upon my enemies, Bane!"
Cleric: "Ahhh! ... Wait. I don't feel anything."
Booyahg: "It gives you a 1d4 you have to subtract from your attacks and saves. You gotta admit. It's mildly annoying."
Cleric: "It just doesn't seem like something that should be called Bane."
Booyagh: "Well. 'Mildly Annoying' doesn't sound as dangerous as Bane. I'm level 1. Whadya want from me?"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.