Me: Hey, our last names almost are identical. You're Brightwell, I'm Blackwell.
*cough* *cough* mhm yep same
I'm sure it's just a coince. my goliath being a warlock, and his assimar being a Paladin. It's all coincidences.
Nah, but like IRL. One of those last names is mine lol
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Me: Hey, our last names almost are identical. You're Brightwell, I'm Blackwell.
*cough* *cough* mhm yep same
I'm sure it's just a coince. my goliath being a warlock, and his assimar being a Paladin. It's all coincidences.
Nah, but like IRL. One of those last names is mine lol
Oh cool. Lol I'm betting you had the exact same thing happen?
Never had it happen, no
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
A goblin hunting party happens upon our groups camp in the night. Due to really low rolls, they don’t notice them. The last goblin in the line FINALLY notices something as the rest of the party wander off. As he turns to warn them, the Ranger, camped in a tree, manages to kill him with a single arrow to the back of the head. He leaves the body where it falls. Next watch, the Dragonborne Monk takes over and the Ranger turns in. The monk decides to move the body into the brush so it can’t be seen. Before he ditches it he cuts off the goblins ears because... reasons.
When the group wakes up, the Dragonborne is cooking breakfast.
Ranger: Something smells good. What’s for breakfast? Monk: Bacon.
A goblin hunting party happens upon our groups camp in the night. Due to really low rolls, they don’t notice them. The last goblin in the line FINALLY notices something as the rest of the party wander off. As he turns to warn them, the Ranger, camped in a tree, manages to kill him with a single arrow to the back of the head. He leaves the body where it falls. Next watch, the Dragonborne Monk takes over and the Ranger turns in. The monk decides to move the body into the brush so it can’t be seen. Before he ditches it he cuts off the goblins ears because... reasons.
When the group wakes up, the Dragonborne is cooking breakfast.
Ranger: Something smells good. What’s for breakfast? Monk: Bacon.
(It’s not bacon...)
Reminds me of the "Goblin Ham" food item from Miitopia!
Monk: "GOOSE TIME!" *proceeds to pull an angry goose from a bag of holding in the BBEG's banquet hall, to excellent effect*
lol. When I first read 'Goose Time!' I thought it was a custom Monk move they'd created! Like Quivering Palm or Flying Dragon Kick...
Along those lines, my monk has a moves called Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer, Undead Bread Redemption, and Flurry of Bros.
Those sound TOTALLY AWESOME!! Please link for the descriptions!! I really don't like how vague Monk attacks are... I keep getting hung up trying to do custom create strikes like "throat strike" to silence spell casters (Obviously too boring, if practical...).
Is 'Flurry of Bros.' like a Smash Brothers reference?
Please, I must know!
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I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
"Are you telling me that this guy's name is Craptis!?"
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Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Monk: "GOOSE TIME!" *proceeds to pull an angry goose from a bag of holding in the BBEG's banquet hall, to excellent effect*
lol. When I first read 'Goose Time!' I thought it was a custom Monk move they'd created! Like Quivering Palm or Flying Dragon Kick...
Along those lines, my monk has a moves called Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer, Undead Bread Redemption, and Flurry of Bros.
Those sound TOTALLY AWESOME!! Please link for the descriptions!! I really don't like how vague Monk attacks are... I keep getting hung up trying to do custom create strikes like "throat strike" to silence spell casters (Obviously too boring, if practical...).
Is 'Flurry of Bros.' like a Smash Brothers reference?
Please, I must know!
Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer - So named because, the first time she used it, the target was a shifter with a lemur aspect. She used her yklwa to take off her opponent's belt to pants them. Also a reference to Inuyasha's Iron Reaver Soul-Stealer.
Undead Bread Redemption - That was really a one-off situational thing that was very context-dependent, and though it sounds like a reference to Red Dead Redemption, it's actually a reference to an SCP who's name is a reference to Red Dead Redemption.
Flurry of Bros was a synchronized attack with my character, a particularly macho mon (a housecat race descended from the tabaxi), and a quixotic kobold.
If you are looking for specific moves, try looking up martial arts videos. And/or, writing some descriptions down ahead of time. I have a few in the notes for that same monk;
*Having dodged the previous attack by planting her yklwa's blade in the ground and hopping on top of it, she now hops again, continuing to hold on to the yklwa, and thus planting the blade into her opponent's foot. She then jumps from the top of the yklwa, flipping backwards and stamping her opponent's other foot on the descent.* (Yklwa strike, followed by an unarmed martial arts strike as a bonus action)
*Laughing-Child-Sutras lunges forward, flicking the end of her yklwa against her opponent's belt, flipping it through the buckle. Calling out in the voice of a prepubescent boy, she yells* "Iron Reaver Dignity Stealer!" *before whipping her yklwa backward in an overhead arch, sending the belt flipping end-over-end through the air, to hit the ground at the same time her opponent's pants do* (a Help action [Distraction], with [Ally] as the beneficiary)
*Laughing-Child-Sutras pops forward with her yklwa, thrusting with both hands. As the blade hits, its red plume of feathers washing over the point of impact, she releases her grip on the weapon, twisting round and jumping over it to execute a spinning hook kick. Landing below her yklwa on the other side, she continues the spinning momentum, turning it into a kneeling hook kick. At the end of the kick her leg arches upward, drawing her into a standing position as she reclaims her weapon.* (Yklwa attack, then spending one ki for Flurry of Blows, to follow that with two unarmed attacks)
*Swinging the butt of her yklwa over her head, Laughing-Child-Sutras catches it behind her, attacking with it braced behind her, such that she ends the motion with her rear hand against the small of her back. Releasing the yklwa, she pivots one hundred eighty degrees, snapping the rear hand up into a palm strike at the same moment her other hand grips [ally]. For a fraction of an instant her heart line serves as a conduit, and as a drought of life force is leached from [enemy], it passes through Sutras as a faintly visible white light under her feathers and suffuses into [ally], acting as a panacea. Quickly as the connection is made it's gone again, as the kenku snaps round again to catch her yklwa.* (yklwa attack, then spending one ki for Flurry of Blows, the last of which is exchanged for healing her ally, [ally], as per Hand of Healing)
*Having blocked the last attack with the butt of her yklwa, Sutras continues the rotation over her shoulder, letting it fall behind her back. With the weapon held just above her hips, she tilts and pirouettes at high speed for a broad slashing arch. Stopping suddenly, she drops into a crouch at the end of the spin, the yklwa now vertical, having put her waifish bird-girl weight and momentum entirely into a ball-popping elbow strike. Looking up to see her opponent's expression, she gives him a wink.* (Yklwa strike, followed by an unarmed martial arts strike as a bonus action)
The druid enclave told us to pick a 'safe word' so that when we needed to GTF back to the prime material we could do so with basically a free action. The jaded grave cleric says, 'Muton F*cker", followed by a long pause from the party.
The 4000y/o warlock trapped in the body of a 14y/o girl says, "How about, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but you have to spell it. " ,..a short silence from the party, followed by everyone nodding in agreement "Muton F*cker it is."
DM: In this campaign, Gnomes wear colorful cone-shaped hats and stand motionless, guarding people's lawns.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The druid enclave told us to pick a 'safe word' so that when we needed to GTF back to the prime material we could do so with basically a free action. The jaded grave cleric says, 'Muton F*cker", followed by a long pause from the party.
The 4000y/o warlock trapped in the body of a 14y/o girl says, "How about, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but you have to spell it. " ,..a short silence from the party, followed by everyone nodding in agreement "Muton F*cker it is."
Did the jaded cleric use 'mutton' to distinguish from 'lamb'? Like, the sheep he was thinking of had to be older than two years? (Is there a statutory age for sheep?) "Mutton f*cking" is ok, but "Lamb F*cking" is strictly off limits in my religion! "Lamb F*ckers" are the lowest of the low... but Mutton! Who WOULDN'T be tempted by a Ewe in her prime!!
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“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe” When the Winds fail you, row.
One of our players in our Ravnica game has been framed for the murder of her father. We are trying to investigate the crime scene and help her clear her name, so we pose as her defense attorneys. Our party is made up of me (human Izzet artificer), Xander (minotaur Boros paladin), and Yevna (wood elf Golgari druid, also framed for murder).
Guard eating a sweet-roll: Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey pals - this is a murder scene! You can't just go in, you might damage the evidence. Besides, members of the general public aren't supposed to go in anyway. Only members of the Prosecution, Defense, and of course the Investigation teams.
Me (human artificer): “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t know who we are? Look, ‘pal’ - clearly someone didn’t pull you out from whatever rock (or in this case, sweet-roll) you’re stuck under, but even beggars on the streets get out of the way when Potter, Voldemort, and McHornyface, attorneys at law, pass by. While you were scarfing down sweets, maybe it slipped your mind that your CO told you that the accused’s defense team was showing up to assess the crime scene in order to prepare themselves for the trial. Now, I suggest you let us in before I tie you and your precinct up in so much litigation, the Azorius Senate will make a kriffing holiday to commemorate it, and you’ll be lucky if you ever get to smell a sweet-roll ever again. Are we clear - ‘pal‘?”
(after an artifact completely flips the moral alignment of a very evil character...)
”Oh, GODS. The shame! The GUILT! So many people are dead because of me...I can’t deal with this...somebody get me a knife, quick!”
(grabs knife to plunge into their chest, but gets it plucked out of their hands)
”Ah, ah, ah...nope: no honorable suicide for you, mister: you need to atone for your misdeeds.”
”Do you have ANY idea how LONG that will take?!”
I'm sure it's just a coince. my goliath being a warlock, and his assimar being a Paladin. It's all coincidences.
Nah, but like IRL. One of those last names is mine lol
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Oh cool. Lol I'm betting you had the exact same thing happen?
Fighter: “I heard fire genasi like red gems. Is that true?”
Genasi: “That’s a stereotype. But yes, I want it.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Sounds like a "That's a racist stereotype.... but lucky for you I REALLY want that red gem".
Never had it happen, no
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Me trying to get the Aarakocra player that is pinning me down off of me:
GET OFF ME, CHICKEN WINGS!!!!!
A goblin hunting party happens upon our groups camp in the night. Due to really low rolls, they don’t notice them. The last goblin in the line FINALLY notices something as the rest of the party wander off. As he turns to warn them, the Ranger, camped in a tree, manages to kill him with a single arrow to the back of the head. He leaves the body where it falls. Next watch, the Dragonborne Monk takes over and the Ranger turns in. The monk decides to move the body into the brush so it can’t be seen. Before he ditches it he cuts off the goblins ears because... reasons.
When the group wakes up, the Dragonborne is cooking breakfast.
Ranger: Something smells good. What’s for breakfast?
Monk: Bacon.
(It’s not bacon...)
Reminds me of the "Goblin Ham" food item from Miitopia!
Please, I must know!
I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
Extended Sig
Me after hitting an enemy with eldritch blast: Was that the same Kenku that shot me earlier?
DM: Yes.
Me: HAH! UP YOURS ****** BAG!!
"Are you telling me that this guy's name is Craptis!?"
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer - So named because, the first time she used it, the target was a shifter with a lemur aspect. She used her yklwa to take off her opponent's belt to pants them. Also a reference to Inuyasha's Iron Reaver Soul-Stealer.
Undead Bread Redemption - That was really a one-off situational thing that was very context-dependent, and though it sounds like a reference to Red Dead Redemption, it's actually a reference to an SCP who's name is a reference to Red Dead Redemption.
Flurry of Bros was a synchronized attack with my character, a particularly macho mon (a housecat race descended from the tabaxi), and a quixotic kobold.
If you are looking for specific moves, try looking up martial arts videos. And/or, writing some descriptions down ahead of time. I have a few in the notes for that same monk;
*Having dodged the previous attack by planting her yklwa's blade in the ground and hopping on top of it, she now hops again, continuing to hold on to the yklwa, and thus planting the blade into her opponent's foot. She then jumps from the top of the yklwa, flipping backwards and stamping her opponent's other foot on the descent.* (Yklwa strike, followed by an unarmed martial arts strike as a bonus action)
*Laughing-Child-Sutras lunges forward, flicking the end of her yklwa against her opponent's belt, flipping it through the buckle. Calling out in the voice of a prepubescent boy, she yells* "Iron Reaver Dignity Stealer!" *before whipping her yklwa backward in an overhead arch, sending the belt flipping end-over-end through the air, to hit the ground at the same time her opponent's pants do* (a Help action [Distraction], with [Ally] as the beneficiary)
*Laughing-Child-Sutras pops forward with her yklwa, thrusting with both hands. As the blade hits, its red plume of feathers washing over the point of impact, she releases her grip on the weapon, twisting round and jumping over it to execute a spinning hook kick. Landing below her yklwa on the other side, she continues the spinning momentum, turning it into a kneeling hook kick. At the end of the kick her leg arches upward, drawing her into a standing position as she reclaims her weapon.* (Yklwa attack, then spending one ki for Flurry of Blows, to follow that with two unarmed attacks)
*Swinging the butt of her yklwa over her head, Laughing-Child-Sutras catches it behind her, attacking with it braced behind her, such that she ends the motion with her rear hand against the small of her back. Releasing the yklwa, she pivots one hundred eighty degrees, snapping the rear hand up into a palm strike at the same moment her other hand grips [ally]. For a fraction of an instant her heart line serves as a conduit, and as a drought of life force is leached from [enemy], it passes through Sutras as a faintly visible white light under her feathers and suffuses into [ally], acting as a panacea. Quickly as the connection is made it's gone again, as the kenku snaps round again to catch her yklwa.* (yklwa attack, then spending one ki for Flurry of Blows, the last of which is exchanged for healing her ally, [ally], as per Hand of Healing)
*Having blocked the last attack with the butt of her yklwa, Sutras continues the rotation over her shoulder, letting it fall behind her back. With the weapon held just above her hips, she tilts and pirouettes at high speed for a broad slashing arch. Stopping suddenly, she drops into a crouch at the end of the spin, the yklwa now vertical, having put her waifish bird-girl weight and momentum entirely into a ball-popping elbow strike. Looking up to see her opponent's expression, she gives him a wink.* (Yklwa strike, followed by an unarmed martial arts strike as a bonus action)
The druid enclave told us to pick a 'safe word' so that when we needed to GTF back to the prime material we could do so with basically a free action. The jaded grave cleric says, 'Muton F*cker", followed by a long pause from the party.
The 4000y/o warlock trapped in the body of a 14y/o girl says, "How about, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but you have to spell it. " ,..a short silence from the party, followed by everyone nodding in agreement "Muton F*cker it is."
DM: In this campaign, Gnomes wear colorful cone-shaped hats and stand motionless, guarding people's lawns.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Did the jaded cleric use 'mutton' to distinguish from 'lamb'? Like, the sheep he was thinking of had to be older than two years? (Is there a statutory age for sheep?) "Mutton f*cking" is ok, but "Lamb F*cking" is strictly off limits in my religion! "Lamb F*ckers" are the lowest of the low... but Mutton! Who WOULDN'T be tempted by a Ewe in her prime!!
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
(Sorcerer blasts a duregar painfully into some iron bars with a Thunderwave spell, then gets in their face)
Sorcerer: “Where...is...the LAMP!?!”
DM: “He’s going under the table.”
Warlock: “That’s a terrible hiding spot.”
DM: “He’s going FOR something under the table.”
Warlock: “Oh...HE’S GOING FOR SOMETHING UNDER THE TABLE!”
Rogue: “Got it!”
(gnome rogue proceeds to sprint across the room, and stab through the duregar’s hand, pinning it to the table)
DM: “Huh...you Luca Brasi’d him.”
One of our players in our Ravnica game has been framed for the murder of her father. We are trying to investigate the crime scene and help her clear her name, so we pose as her defense attorneys. Our party is made up of me (human Izzet artificer), Xander (minotaur Boros paladin), and Yevna (wood elf Golgari druid, also framed for murder).
Guard eating a sweet-roll: Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey pals - this is a murder scene! You can't just go in, you might damage the evidence. Besides, members of the general public aren't supposed to go in anyway. Only members of the Prosecution, Defense, and of course the Investigation teams.
Me (human artificer): “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t know who we are? Look, ‘pal’ - clearly someone didn’t pull you out from whatever rock (or in this case, sweet-roll) you’re stuck under, but even beggars on the streets get out of the way when Potter, Voldemort, and McHornyface, attorneys at law, pass by. While you were scarfing down sweets, maybe it slipped your mind that your CO told you that the accused’s defense team was showing up to assess the crime scene in order to prepare themselves for the trial. Now, I suggest you let us in before I tie you and your precinct up in so much litigation, the Azorius Senate will make a kriffing holiday to commemorate it, and you’ll be lucky if you ever get to smell a sweet-roll ever again. Are we clear - ‘pal‘?”
To be clear, I was McHornyface, not the minotaur.