Super Power... With a Flaw

okay, that isn't even a turn. Wish granted, nothing really happens D&D rules-wise.

I can cast power word kill on anyone I choose when I sneeze. (I have bad allergies to everything that lives)

...But have no nose with which to sneeze.

I can cast any spell successfully, real or theoretical, regardless of spell slots needed, level, class, or racial requirements without needing any verbal, somatic or material components and without needing to prepare them. (Lookin' at you Karsus' Avatar.)

...but i cannot be ressurected, not even by 12th level magic, and i can only target people who likes to eat pickeled apples

i can make undead minions players are nobody unable to make, like zombie ogres etc, but...

You don’t control them

i can shoot lasers out of other peoples hands

...but only during handshakes

i can controll demons, but only if...

You give the demons a nice back massage.

I astro-project...

Into stars (astro means star), and die on teleportation to there.

I can create strange matter (look it up) whenever and wherever I want in any quantities I want.

you can create infinite poop and get killed because poop is strange and matter

I have all the traits and features of every class, race, feat, background, and magic item

All the information in your mind at once gives you a seizure, and you die.

I can control when others blink.

You can control when corpses blink

I can become the character on any character sheet whenever I want

The only character sheet you want to become is a mosquito monk.

I can make corpses move.

only on Friday the 13 when there is a full moon and you killed exactly 655 people the day before and ate their private parts

I can become the character on any character sheet whenever I want and you can't say what I want

You literally become a character sheet. Like, a piece of paper.

Teleportation powers! Except...

you can only teleport through lead and not air

I can become the character on any character sheet whenever I want and you can't say what I want 

But only if you become the 2 dimensional character image printed on the character sheet.

I can see the next five minutes of my own personal life at will and can stop seeing it at will.

...but only if you're standing near Will.

I can cast True Strike...

Using a 9th level spell slot, once per century.

I can summon unicorn bunnies into existence within 5 ft. of me as a natural ability.

...but the unicorn bunnies are hostile and will attack you on sight

i can change my form as i see fit, with no limits to what i can and cannot turn into, instantly, at any time, and i retain my consciousness and ability to turn back in all forms

... but whenever you change form your voice changes too. However, it only turns into that really annoying nasally Jan from Friends voice. You know, the "oh. my. god." one. That's you now.

I can shoot any beverage I want from my eyes.

But the only beverage in existence now is Ketchup soda. Also, it stings and eventually dissolves your eyes.

My dreams determine reality (and I can control my dreams, unlike a beholder).