1 centimeter off the ground

i can levitate

but you cannot stop.

I can create actual bacon from nothingness, and it is always cooked to perfection...

But after a second explodes

I can make the sun dark

but you become temporarily blind

I can make fun of royalty, and they won't be mad.

(AFTER ANSWERING WITH THE FLAW, ADD A NEW POWER!!!)

But they sob uncontrollably each time you do, causing members of the court to become angry. 

I can eat my weight

But only if it's your weight in gold.

I can change colors at will (like a chameleon, but I don't need to be near the color... It's not camoflauge.)

But it has to be a neon color.

I can speak any language...

But only when nobody can hear you.

I can see, understand, and manipulate the unified string theory that governs the whole universe.

But you can't understand any other mathematical or scientific concepts in the universe.

I can time travel at will.

Quote from I_Love_Tarrasques >>

But you can't understand any other mathematical or scientific concepts in the universe.

 I’m good with that. Being able to see, understand, and manipulate The Unified String would be like the IRL equivalent of being able to see, understand, and manipulate The Weave of Magic directly. Or for those more religiously minded, like knowing the actual name of God (big G) or being able to see, understand, and directly manipulate The Great Wheel of Samsāra. Like, bigbig. Not knowing how to count to 21 without taking off my pants is okay by me if I have that kind of power.

Quote from I_Love_Tarrasques >>

I can time travel at will.

 But only back in time

I can cast Wish whenever I want

but you have a 90% chance of never being able to use it again.

I can mold sillicates into whatever i want and it will become the real thing.

But then, all the food & water banishes, forever.

I can tell little lies...........

...but you'll always be caught.

I can flip a coin, roll a die, or draw a card and control what comes up.

... but only when nobody else is around

I can instantly make others forget how to talk...

By ending them,

i can do anything 

...anything that does not require the expenditure of energy possibly by the human body

i can trick anyone

But you can’t tell the truth 

I have better internet