I live out the next year by casting create food and water, as I slowly create an aircraft with fabricate, and then when I get back home, I share the design of my aircraft, and now, 50 years later, it is the standard mode of transportation, and I am rich and famous.

you just finished creating a weapon of mass destruction. And when you fire it, you realize you accidentally pointed it at yourself.

I accidentally made a mistake in the construction of the weapon, making it shoot backwards and thus saving me. It hits my enemies, and I rule the world!!!

MUAHAHAHA HAHAHA!!!!!

You slipped on a banana peel, fall, and are dying of embarrassment. 

I quickly make a Mario kart joke, and stand up, then I walk away and throw the peel at whoever left it there.

you just got a dog, and after you faked throwing the ball 6 times in a row, the dog, which is actually a polymorphed dragon, turns back into dragon shape, and throws the ball towards you at a much greater speed, on course to hit your head.

I'm a bard. I seduce the ball, marry it, and adopt the dragon as our child.

You go to a Golden Dragon inn and order a soda. When you go to take a sip, it's actually fryer oil and you spit it out into the fireplace, but the fire spreads up the stream. Your mouth is now filled with flaming oil.

Good thing I’m a red dragon, I breath the fire and become the center of attention. I then ask for the manager to tell them they are making their soda wrong.

you just insulted the DM, and he said the legendary phrase:

ROCKS FALL. YOU DIE

I didn't die, I was in my trusty dome. 

You are a blade of grass getting run over by a lawnmower (and, yes, the mower's blade is running)

The lawn mower’s setting is too high, and it misses you.

You are a delicious cookie in the hand of a child.

But i'm one of those plastic food toy ones. good luck eating me

you are an egg smashed with a metal bat. 

I survive in the memories of the person who rudely smacked me with a baseball bat.

you chose to be a tabaxi monk, with all the speed optimizations, where you can go over 500 feet per turn, and after challenging a party member to a race, you run headlong into a flagpole.

You are a ghost tabaxi monk and you pass right through.

You are a first level rogue sneaking off during a long rest and you run directly into a hungry ancient red dragon.

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

You are a ghost tabaxi monk and you pass right through.

You are a first level rogue sneaking off during a long rest and you run directly into a hungry ancient red dragon.

 With my lucky roll of an 18 stealth score, with expertise 

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

You are a ghost tabaxi monk and you pass right through.

You are a first level rogue sneaking off during a long rest and you run directly into a hungry ancient red dragon.

 With my lucky roll of an 18 stealth score, with expertise 

 Ha! What’s your scenario?

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

You are a ghost tabaxi monk and you pass right through.

You are a first level rogue sneaking off during a long rest and you run directly into a hungry ancient red dragon.

 With my lucky roll of an 18 stealth score, with expertise 

 Ha! What’s your scenario?

 I accidentally clicked send mid way through making it

Quote from UndauntedDM >>

You are a ghost tabaxi monk and you pass right through.

You are a first level rogue sneaking off during a long rest and you run directly into a hungry ancient red dragon.

 With a nat 20 stealth, invisibility spell from a teammate active, and the Druid spell Pass without trace, I have a stealth of over 35.

you just rolled a nat 1… on the dex save for a fireball… and you are a warforged made of wood…

Well.. technically Nat 1 isn't any worse than a normal failed saved on a fireball. And it only ignites items not being worn and I'd say my wooden skin is being worn. So, having enough hit points, I survive!

You are decked out with a nice sword, awesome chain mail, and ready to go adventuring. When all of the sudden there's a genre switch. And you're fighting aliens. Aliens with lasers.

I quickly take out one of the aliens, and steal his stuff. then I go into hiding for a few days while I learn how the gear works, and then I hack into the mothership and explode it.

you just blew up an alien ship, and forgot about gravity, so when you are celebrating your victory, you do not notice the house - sized chunk of spaceship until it’s too late.

It was house-sized indeed. Specifically bird-house sized. While it may have taken out my legs, I use the alien tech to build new nano-tech-legs. 

You are walking around enjoying your new nanotech legs when it turns out the AI powering them has other plans for the planet. 

I jump off a cliff to break the legs, then I throw them in a fire and melt them into slag, saving the world from the evil AI.

you just walked outside your house, and when you turn around, it isn’t there anymore, then you look up, and see it flying directly at you.

Imbued with the power of karate I karate-chop the house in half and it seamlessly splits around me, leaving me in a safe zone.

You are a "Why you survive" thread that appears to be dying.

I survive, because it literally what I am named after.

you saw a terrasque coming directly at you, and when you are trying to enter your adamantine ball, you accidentally close your fingers in the door, and after the terrasque inevitability swallows the ball, the acid is able to enter through the crack your fingers are causing.