Why you survive

imma turn into the Gun Devil and kill everything within a five hundred mile radius in one second.

you roasted cabbage, ate earwax, and looked on the dark side of like, and Angela is trying to kill you by manipulating time

Quote from Golden_Axolotl_Dragon >>

But it turns out time can't be manipulated.

You are surrounded by all the people you are a fan of, but all of them are convinced you betrayed them.

 i plead guilty because in all honesty, if im in that situation i probably did. and because i plead guilty, i am not killed

i dunno if youve read the whole inheritance cycle, so im not gonna spoil anything about angela)

Murtagh "Jierda"s you into oblivion 

You survive because we are in a room with reversed magical conditions, so all magic does the opposite of what the caster intended.

You get turned into a 2d shape and are lowered into a shredder by a giant.

Quote from DryRuinss >>

You survive because we are in a room with reversed magical conditions, so all magic does the opposite of what the caster intended.

You get turned into a 2d shape and are lowered into a shredder by a giant.

 fortunately, the giant's shredder is too big and i am not shredded

a watermelon the size of the moon falls onto your head

The Hill Giant has an injury by stubbing their toe on a witch's house, and I nurse them back to health. The Hill Giant does not want to kill me anymore.

You were in that house, and all the potions are splashing around, including illegal ones banned by the round council because it turns you into a square and forces you to join the Square Council. The transformation usually kills you and replaces you with a square version of you.

Quote from DryRuinss >>

The Hill Giant has an injury by stubbing their toe on a witch's house, and I nurse them back to health. The Hill Giant does not want to kill me anymore.

You were in that house, and all the potions are splashing around, including illegal ones banned by the round council because it turns you into a square and forces you to join the Square Council. The transformation usually kills you and replaces you with a square version of you.

 none of it hits me

you are trapped in that one vault that is like the matrix, 87 i think