Granted, but it breaks several laws simply by existing. You are arrested, your castle is impounded and you have to pay off a hefty fine and make sure that the castle never moves again.

I wish I knew if I'd gotten this job I'd applied for already. One way or another, it'd be nice to know.

congrats! you didn't get it! And the bank took all your money! And everything else! and you have several infections from rat bites!
I wish I could DM good

wish granted but you have nothing to dm for

I wish I could teleport 

Granted! You can teleport into the Ethereal Plane. However, you can't teleport back out...and that Phase Spider is looking pretty hungry...I wish this forum could stop looking so much like the superpower with a flaw forum.

Granted! now it looks like the Godmodder forum!

I wish to kick the godmodder in the balls.

wish granted but you get your kicked back even harder

I wish I didn’t have to go to school today 

You fall into a wormhole transporting you to your next school day. Now, you have to make up any classes you missed.

I wish painting miniatures was easier.

wish granted you are now the size of miniatures, but you can grow back to full size

I wish I had a car

Wish granted, but it only drives in reverse and takes brussels sprouts as fuel.

I wish that I could time travel just twice, once into the far past and then back to my current time and location

Wish granted you travel back to the jurastic period and you accidentally get eaten by a t rex

I wish my car worked normally 

It works normally.

For 10 seconds. It then immediately explodes.

I wish for a completely authentic singular dollar bill.

Wish granted.  59 more of these and you will be able to purchase Mediterranean Avenue.

I wish that I could have a bottomless flask.

It has no bottom. It pours out.

I wish for a reasonable number of tater tots. They must be perfectly edible and delicious.

Congrats! Anything can be eaten, making those 5 glass tater-tots edible! Of course, it will hurt...

I wish Banjo Man retired. (Yes, i'm talking to you, Acerak.)

The fabric of reality unravels. Dimensions entangle, resulting in many deaths. Centrifuging anomalies rip apart entire countries, while those who walk between the dimensions pick off survivors. The air becomes a liquid, and plasma flows in rivers across the earth. The survivors are horribly mutated, and the extinction of all sentient life is imminent.

I wish for some delicious multidimensional ophidian liquivores.

They appear, but you accidentally Mass Polymorph them into Banjo Man

I wish for a better title.

You gain a title, but you find it's been used as collateral. As predatory financial practitioners begin calling at odd hours, and filing litigation to reclaim their assets. It's a lot of trouble for a slip of paper. You aren't even able to locate the vehicle.

I wish to be ambitious.

You start a campaign with only 4 year olds. They do not have the motor skills to roll dice and one swallow the d8.

I wish for 20 wizard levels for 10 xp

You get 20 wizard levels, but all computer devices you use use Windows XP. Doing even the most simple of tasks takes at least 10 minutes. You die of frustration.

I wish for frogs.

The frogs use your stomach to incubate their young. the tadpole Burt’s from your chest, spraying blood and gore everywhere.

I wish for there to be good memes on the internet again