If the thread was closed, then you wouldn't be able to wish for the thread to be closed. But in order for you to close the thread, you must wish on it. The resulting paradox causes a tear in the fabric of the universe.

I wish that I wasn't bothered by stupid things.

Done. Instead of being bothered by stupid things, you are intensely bothered by EVERYTHING.

I wish that all games now cost 1$ per copy, and no, this does not affect the finical situation of the developers. They will still receive money as if their game was 60$ per copy.

The imbalance between the amount of money received and the amount of money paid means more money is being added to the system! This causes rampant inflation!

I wish that people would stop cussing.

Everything becomes kid-friendly, and now no kid can stop watching tv.

I wish for godlike power

You become a genie who can manipulate the entire world at your commander's wish. Except because you're a genie, you're trapped inside an oil lamp for all eternity.

I wish I could shapeshift at will into other D&D humanoids, like a Changeling does

You never specified D&D changeling, you are now a changeling of my making. Your powers include turning into a humanoid, before dying instantly. If you don't transform into a humanoid for 5 seconds, you also die instantly. If you are revived by a cleric, you also die instantly.

I wish for the ability to turn someone inside out.

You take someone who is inside a building and turn them out into the outside of the building. Very rude.

I wish to become good at animation.

You never said what type of animation.

I wish for the ability to turn someone into a naked mole rat

You take the nearest person and turn them around and they fall onto a naked mole rat.

I wish for school to be enjoyable

School becomes optional, and to make up for lost education you now get boatloads of homework.

I wish my eyes changed color every time I blinked, in a way that doesn't hurt me.

Ok, you blink, and your eyes change colors, and it's the most beautiful thing ever. You collapse on the floor, dead. You didn't feel a thing.

I wish for a the next person's wish to be written in a haiku 

Granted! There's a guy named ku now. I talk to him.

Hai Ku! How are you doing on this momentous day? Ok it's 

not | I wish to know what's wrong with my | really all that

momentous | Steam Deck's charging. | as of now but I need words, ya know? Oh right you're not on the same plane of existence, my bad ku. Maybe one day, you'll see... [Title Card saying "Beyond"]

(Hopefully formatting doesn't mess this one up)

*beautiful*

I wish that your stunningly beautiful poetry gets put on display in a museum!