you get a pint of dogs blood ..... in your lungs you suffocate and die 

I wish for a pound of poop

You get a pound of poo. Unfortunately for you, the genie is hard of hearing, and mistakes it for a mound of poo. Even more unfortunate, the genie forgot where they put their emergency destruction of the universe button. Even more unfortunate for you, they just so happened to place the mound of poo atop the button.

I wish for fish in a dish with relish. Mmm, delish!

There is too much relish, and you drown in your own request.

I wish for one single candy.

you get one single, universe sized candy. because of the immense size and mass, it creates a giant black hole, the likes of which nobody has seen, nor will see. time, in essence, comes to a complete halt.

i wish for a stable ecosystem, inside a sphere, safe from the black hole

Your wish has been submitted. Please wait five to ten business days for Genie Incorporated to process and make your wish a reality. And remember: "At Genie Incorporated, your wish is our command!" Sadly, our processing systems are permanently closed for maintenance due to the universe sized black hole that just destroyed reality. If you want, you can pay extra too get Wish +, in order to skip the processing systems all together! In that case, please fill out this form. Sadly, it seems that the printer is offline. Please wait for our Wish Prevention Team to finish the Wish Proofing of Genie Incorporated, in order to keep everyone at the office safe from the giant black hole. On behalf of all of us at Genie Incorporated, I am sincerely sorry for the wait.

I wish for Wish +.

Quote from Gonzalo5 >>

Your wish has been submitted. Please wait five to ten business days for Genie Incorporated to process and make your wish a reality. And remember: "At Genie Incorporated, your wish is our command!" Sadly, our processing systems are permanently closed for maintenance due to the universe sized black hole that just destroyed reality. If you want, you can pay extra too get Wish +, in order to skip the processing systems all together! In that case, please fill out this form. Sadly, it seems that the printer is offline. Please wait for our Wish Prevention Team to finish the Wish Proofing of Genie Incorporated, in order to keep everyone at the office safe from the giant black hole. On behalf of all of us at Genie Incorporated, I am sincerely sorry for the wait.

I wish for Wish +.

 

 It costs $1899.99 per month. You cannot stop the subscription. It will take even if you don't have money. The cops cannot be reasoned with. You accidentally committed a crime eventually. You are in prison for life, as you keep on doing the crime even in prison.

I wish on a wish for a fish on a dish that could make a deal that would make me feel like me and be what I shall be and have- (I want estrogennnnN!!@I<@WOJ!LJ: W)

The Genie takes pitty on you. You get the femme n emms.

Sadly, the genie mixes up the ingredients, and instead it's 100% francium.

I wish for freedom. 

You wish for freedom, but it's already freed, so it's om""

I wish to be Dazzler (X-Men) 

I have no idea who that is so I turn you into a pug. And believe me, turning into a pug is a fate worse than death.

I wish for calcium

Alright. Have some calcium carbonate. In fact, I've taken the liberty to inject it into your bones! Sadly, cement has calcium Carbonite. Enjoy your cement bones!

I wish for the ability to fall asleep at any time.

You do fall asleep at any time, but certainly not when you desire. You now fall asleep at random during the day.

I wish that I would remember to wish in the future.

Quote from AshTheEvil >>

You do fall asleep at any time, but certainly not when you desire. You now fall asleep at random during the day.

I wish that I would remember to wish in the future.

 

 You remember to wish in the far future. When you die for half a second ur alive and remember, so your death is filling with regret.

I wish for the please of the please that 'The Event' happens a lot.

I don't know what that is, good job you have confused the all-knowing genie. As punishment, you are forced to listen to puns for 100 trillion seconds; you do not live

I wish for puns

You have to say puns or die.

I wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish for a wish.

Your wish for a wish was granted! You learn D&D's Wish spell. Of course the Weave doesn't exist in the world, so it's utterly useless.

I wish that next Christmas I will receive a can of pink hairspray.

You get the can. But it's not a spray can. And it's pink paint mixed with bad hairspray.

I wish for my thread to succeed 

It succeeds... A little too much. Everyone wants to use your thread, like, forever. Soon, all threads are gone and home-brew and the character creation aspects of Dnd beyond are pointless, your thread is enough. The moderators can't even moderate your thread since they're too busy being on it, soon everyone joins dnd beyond just to use your thread. The world halts to a stop. You have the fame, but, was it really worth it?

I wish you to stop being a sonic fan

Okay! Then again, I never really was a sonic fan to begin with, so your wish did nothing. IT is utterly pointless. What are you doing with your life?

I wish for tar tar sauce to put my pish into so it can swim around and frolic.