Granted, you gain the knowledge of recipes formed from spices and herbs and other things to create the best marinade ever, but all of the ingredients have been extinct for millions of years.(you said IDEAS of great marinades, never specified that they had to be possible to make)

I wish to not immediately die in the No Rest For The Wicked mafia game

Granted! You instead die on the first night, which isn't the instant the game starts.

I wish my bus didn't take such a long time to get to school.

granted, your perception of time is greatly changes and now a 17 year bus ride feels like 20 minutes because the term “so long” could be interpreted differently according to perspective

I wish for 20 billion US dollars to be transferred to an account in my name and my social security number that I maintain access to for my entire life and I’m the only one with access to it and it does not affect the current inflation rate in any way and society continues to use a capitalist system where money can be traded for goods and services and note: I did not say “doll hairs”

Granted, it's counterfeit money. You get arrested.

I wish 49t was rich! (I doubt anyone's gonna get this reference but)

I don’t get the reference but granted, there name is now rich

Quote from 49t7s8hckr >>

granted, your perception of time is greatly changes and now a 17 year bus ride feels like 20 minutes because the term “so long” could be interpreted differently according to perspective

 

 

I wish for 20 billion US dollars to be transferred to an account in my name and my social security number that I maintain access to for my entire life and I’m the only one with access to it and it does not affect the current inflation rate in any way and society continues to use a capitalist system where money can be traded for goods and services and note: I did not say “doll hairs”

 I wish for the same thing as this statement above but it is real, legal United States currency

Misclick

Granted! Because only you have access to it, literally nobody else can take the money and it's completely useless for anything other than possibly being looked into by the FBI for magically gaining 20 billion dollars.

(Ok fine a more brute force approach) I wish 49t had 60 billion dollars! ...in nickels.

I meant only I have access to the account

Quote from 49t7s8hckr >>

I meant only I have access to the account

 Well you'll still probably be under investigation by the FBI, and I can still twist it to say you can't use it sooooooo

Granted, in order to acquire that high an amount of copper and nickel to form the nickels, the wires from almost every electronic device is taken and almost the entire core of the earth, and without the core the planet collapses in on itself and everyone dies

i wish that TheMadGibber is physically incapable of coming up with cheap, one sentence counters to a carefully thought out and planned wish

Granted! Technically because 'granted' is a sentence as well (a shortened version of "Your wish is granted"), they're cheap, two sentence counters! (Also it's twist the wish, of course I'm gonna try to find holes in it)

I wish for a final person to join the mafia game.

Granted, world war three sparks, a deadly, nuclear war that kills almost the entire population. months after the fallout, there is only one human being remaining, and by sheer coincidence they somehow have a working device and accidentally join the mafia game because they were not paying attention. In a way, the final person joins.

I wish to be able to come up with really good twists to peoples wish

Granted! Except, even though your animosity with Gibber's one-sentence responses is evident, your twists inevitably end up becoming exactly what you hate.

I wish for a nice cup of coffee tomorrow morning.

Granted! You now find good twists to each wish, but you forget them midway through typing them.

I wish for all D&D books to be free for everyone.

(Uh ninja'd)

Granted! They're free for everyone, but this means that WoTC has to produce faster than nerds can grab. So, within minutes, there's no D&D books left for you.

I wish for...a sub-19 5K time next cross-country meet. (or the ability to push myself to that time)

Granted! You trip and fall immediately after crossing the finish line, breaking your legs and rendering you out for the season.

I wish for a 100 mph serve that always lands in the service box.

Granted! You rattle off endless 100-mph serves, all of which land in the nearest electrical service panel (also known as a service box).

I wish for my next roll on the High Roller Society to be a 32 (rolling 4d8). 

Granted! But it happens through the glitch where the dice automatically reroll and you get flagged for potentially manipulated rolls.

I wish for a lish dish fish with a swish that is squished with a whish.

Granted, but it shoots you with a gun

I wish for my twists to contain less guns

Granted, but since all your twists have guns, you can't twist anymore.

I wish I was paid $5 an hour for school.