Granted. You Trump.

Wish for pie.

Granted, the pie was made from poisonous berries and it was so good, you died!

I wish for it to rain cheese

Granted. It is molten cheese and you simultaneously burn to death and drown in it.

I wish my homebrew world(Hereon referred to as Fareheim) to be better while still being the world I desire to make.

It is, however it is too good, your too scared your players will ruin it that you never run "Fareheim"

I wish for my players to enjoy our next session.

Granted. Your players play video games the whole time.

I wish for an ordinary pumpkin pie that will not harm me.

(Thank you)   
Granted! However, the pumpkin god smites you for eating the pie out of revenge, turning you into a pumpkin yourself.

I wish for it to be 2017 again

Granted! You are brought back to the middle of the government shutdown.

I wish to return to the human form I had just before being transformed into that pumpkin.

granted, but the human you were just before being transformed into a pumpkin is also the one just about to be transformed into a pumpkin by the pumkin god, so you instantly turn back

i wish to no longer procrastinate on things

Now your over productive and realy tired.

I wish for the genie that grants all these wishes to have some time to relax.

Quote from DRAGY55555 >>

Now you're over-productive and really tired.

 

I wish for the genie that grants all of these wishes to have some time to relax.

 It takes the time off to think of new ways to twist wishes.

I wish DRAGY55555's grammar was acceptable to the SPaG lords.

the genie gets 3 seconds

i wish that language was no longer ambiguous in any way, without this altering the length of words and sentences

his grammar is acceptable because all grammar is acceptable

i wish for magic that does not harm me or my assoiciates in any notable way, shape or form 

you gain a cloak of billowing

i wish for infinite time

you know have infitinite time to play only games you hate

i wish to learn wizardry of a least equivelent to that of a 5th level wizard that does not harm me or my assoiciates in any notable way, shape or form.

Granted! But all of them are relevant to summoning ordinary vegetables.

I wish for an arabic lamp

You get an Arabic lamp. The lamp sucks you in and forces you to grant wishes, until the end of time.

I wish for Bane, Bhaal and Myrkul to become greater deities again.

Really? You think that is possible by any means, unearthly or not?
Only one way.

Everybody is now dead.

I wish for a bag of sand weighing about a ton to appear on my head, but not negatively affect me or my surroundings in any way.

Congratulations! You are now the Sandman from Spider-Man 3 and are teleported underneath the Sahara desert.

I wish for some Ice cream

Granted. You die do to brain freeze from your ice cream

I wish to win the Legendary bundle set from a DNDBeyond Stream