Granted. But it sees you before morning coffee and mistakes you for a zombie. 

I wish to take a nap. 

You accidentally nap too long and wake up when a tarrasque is stepping on you.

i wish for air to exist.

It does, but only in the form of air elementals.

I wish to make a wish

You just did

I wish for the world to not be affected by this wish

Granted, except the effect of not being affected itself does affect the world.

I wish I had cooked last night and tonight instead of heating up frozen Mexican food from the freezer. (Now I have to scrunch up the order I eat some things.)

You accidentally burn down your house. 

I wish to be good at cooking.

You're good at cooking crystal meth. The police arrest you 

I wish for Morbius 2

You get A bag of popcorn, and a YouTube video of death, and Morbius two

I wish for a season 7 of HxH.

Granted, but I the wish granter don't know what HxH is so you get a completely different storyline that doesn't tie into Season 6 at all.

I wish to have an easy time fixing my bike tire. 

Granted, but you immediately get a new bike that the tire doesnt fit.

I wish for more forum titles

Granted. The number of forum titles is greatly increased. However they add an option to view all titles. And the number of titles, being so vast, creates blockage on the backend of the site, causing it to be useless.

I wish for commercial travel to the moon to be available and affordable to the everyman within my lifetime.

It happens 0.00000000000000000000001 nanoseconds before you die.

I wish for more wishes.

You get all the wishes you want, but they all have a fatal twist that renders them useless.

I wish for a cool purple hat.

So granted. Once set atop your head, you find that it's impossible to take off. At least it's a nice hat :D

I wish I had master pastry making skills.

Granted. But this leads to having irresistible sweets in the house all the time leading to massive weight gain.

I wish for a good 4th of July for all of us.

it happens but your neighbors keep on setting of fireworks until 1am

i wish for fast reaction time

Granted, but there's nothing to react to.

I wish for the rain to be gentle. 

It’s so gentle it’s non existent 

i wish for monsoon season to come already!!!!!

Granted. You're now in India during monsoon and trapped inside while spending your money on a vacation.

I wish I could get the benefits of sweating (cooling down) without the downsides (smelling and getting icky-wet).

Granted, you can now only cool off via panting  

i wish to be asleep rn