Granted. Oh wait... is Manga anime-related?

Granted. You get paper with the anime on it. It tastes disgusting.

I wish for one of those futuristic spacesuits that's both effective and not overly bulky.

Granted but it doesn't fit you

I wish for a cute demon boyfriend

They are a demon. That means they are chaotic evil, and they attack you.

 I wish for string

Granted. But it's too short to make a guitar. 

I wish for a jetpack.

granted but it has little fuel

I wish to be a demon king

Granted. A high-leveled paladin finds out and organizes a party to hunt you

I wish for plants vs zombies battle for neighborville to be updated again

Granted, but it's no longer compatible with your software. 

I wish there was an easy way to get my disc copy of Civilization II working on my laptop. 

Granted but it takes you 2 years to find out how

I wish to be able to change my gender at will

doing so takes several hours and it is extraordinarily painful

i wish for a gamer gf

Granted. She beats you in a game, calls you a n00b, and leaves.

I wish I could cast Unseen Servant in real life to do the dirty dishes for me.

you can, but sadly you don't have the material component.

I wish to have 500 ft walking, swimming, climbing, burrowing, and flying speeds

Granted! You get a 500 ft everything speed the same day they rework movement to being per-day.

I wish the buckthorn around my patio would go away.

It goes away, taking your patio with it.

I wish formal clothing wasn’t super unpleasant to wear

its slightly unpleasant to wear. This kills you somehow 

I wish my homebrew setting would get an official sourcebook and be very popular 

Granted! your homebrew will be a very popular sourcebook, and then become legacy content after 1 minute

I wish everything was free on dnd beyond 

Good wish, bro. Granted. 

But there's suddenly a huge inundation of ads on the site that it slows your computer to a crawl whenever you try to load a page. And what's worse? Not even an adblocker can stop them.

I wish for a good night's sleep. 

That you don’t wake up from

I wish youtube ads were less repetitive

Granted. Now they're all jazz-like and not the good kind of jazz.

I wish I had a bag of carrots. 

 you ask for a bag of carrots, you get a bag with a caret on it

I wish for more wishes

Granted. You are given 10 more wishes but now each wish costs 20 wishes.

I wish I could remember my dreams from last night because I feel like there was an interesting DnD-related plot going on.