granted, except your words confused me so i guess you just get a waffle

i wish for the events in the HALO gams to actually happen

Granted. But because I, the wish-granter, doesn't know much about Halo, you get Star Wars instead with Earth playing the part of Alderaan.

I wish income tax didn't exist.

Granted, they decided to replace it with a breathing tax 

I wish I could control time

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

Granted, they decided to replace it with a breathing tax 

Oh... no...

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

I wish I could control time

 Granted. You now have the ability to travel to the future 1 second at a time. And if you think, you can mentally travel back to past events in your life.

I wish for a hat.

You get your hat, but the hat is so nice that it is the most desired object on earth, you aren’t immune and refuse to give anyone your hat, causing you to be murdered by someone who wants the hat. Wars are waged over your hat for the next thousand years until a chosen one immune to its effects destroys it

I wish for the end of the world, you can’t twist a wish that already sucks!

We can't twist it, so we don't. The world ends, you included. Be careful what you wish for

I wish to un-end the world

Granted! But everything on the world and in the world and around the world is still ended. 

I wish I was better at role playing. 

Granted. You are better at role-playing as a non-sentient cabbage.

I wish that world hunger would end.

wish granted now we have world thirst

i wish that i had at least 10 bunches of candy grapes grapes

granted, except you must grant my next wish without twisting it

here is my wish:                            

Wish was not understood, could not be granted 

I wish for waffle fries, or curly fries from arbies 

Quote from NoiSilverheart >>

Wish was not understood, could not be granted 

I wish for waffle fries, or curly fries from arbies 

 granted, except 9instead you get a translation of my wish, which is this: I wish for you to be able to translate this

Granted. And by "this" you mean the absolute worst keyword to ever be invented for programming, right?

I wish some trick-or-treaters had come to take away some of the candy. (I'm not a fan of the Almond Joys.)

they take all of the candy but the almond joys and then you have only almond joys and your PC is law full good and in your town wasting candy is illegal 

i wish you only got almond joys to night 9:00 October Monday/2022/31 1600 Pennsylvania

Granted, though it gets donated to Treets for troops

I wish that I didn't have school tomorrow 

Granted. They found asbestos in the walls. School is cancelled for the year but you have to do self-study at home. There will be a test at the beginning of the next year.

I wish popcorn had less calories.

Quote from VitusW >>

Granted, but making that a wish means I have to twist it and make the reply a pain to decipher. 

1 8 ,   9   8 5 1 18   25 15 21 .   9 20   23 1 19 14 ' 20   20 8 5   13 15 19 20   5 24 3 9 20 9 14 7   15 6   3 12 1 19 19 5 19   6 15 18   13 5   5 9 20 8 5 18 .   1 12 20 8 15 21 7 8 ,   21 14 12 9 11 5   25 15 21 18   3 1 19 5 ,   9   4 15 14 ' 20   2 5 12 9 5 22 5   9   23 15 21 12 4 ' 22 5   2 5 5 14   16 5 14 1 12 9 26 5 4   6 15 18   14 15 20   20 1 11 9 14 7   14 15 20 5 19 .   ( 20 8 15 21 7 8   9   3 1 14 ' 20   4 15 21 2 12 5 - 3 8 5 3 11   1 20   20 8 5   13 15 13 5 14 20   1 19   9 ' 13   12 9 11 5   9 9 %   3 5 18 20 1 9 14   9   20 8 18 5 23   15 21 20   20 8 5   14 15 20 5 2 15 15 11   9   8 1 4   6 15 18   20 8 5   3 12 1 19 19   19 15 13 5   25 5 1 18 19   2 1 3 11 . )   9 19   20 8 5   20 5 1 3 8 5 18   1 3 20 9 22 5 12 25   3 8 5 3 11 9 14 7   20 8 5   17 21 1 12 9 20 25   15 6   25 15 21 18   14 15 20 5 19 ?   15 18   1 18 5   20 8 5 25   10 21 19 20   3 8 5 3 11 9 14 7   20 8 1 20   25 15 21 ' 18 5   20 1 11 9 14 7   20 8 5 13   9 14   18 5 1 12   20 9 13 5 ?   2 5 3 1 21 19 5   9 6   9 20 ' 19   20 8 5   12 1 20 20 5 18 ,   20 8 1 20   13 9 7 8 20   7 9 22 5   25 15 21   1   12 9 20 20 12 5   13 15 18 5   12 5 5 23 1 25   20 15   8 1 22 5   1   12 9 20 20 12 5   13 15 18 5   5 14 20 5 18 20 1 9 14 13 5 14 20   22 1 12 21 5   6 18 15 13   25 15 21 18   14 15 20 5 - 20 1 11 9 14 7 .   16 5 18 8 1 16 19   19 15 13 5   12 9 20 20 12 5   4 15 15 4 12 5 19   1 19   25 15 21   7 15   1 12 15 14 7 .   9   11 14 15 23   9   8 1 4   1   12 9 20 20 12 5   19 5 18 9 5 19   15 6   4 15 15 4 12 5 19   9 ' 4   8 1 22 5   9 14   13 25   14 15 20 5 2 15 15 11 19   20 8 1 20   9 ' 4   1 4 4   4 21 18 9 14 7   12 5 3 20 21 18 5 19 .

Helpful tip: it's a simply number cypher where 1=A, 2=B, ..., 26=Z.

I wish for the above message to be decoded.

 i wish to know the cyper used to code this message

oh and granted popcorn now has 99 percent less mass

Quote from VitusW >>

Granted. They found asbestos in the walls. School is cancelled for the year but you have to do self-study at home. There will be a test at the beginning of the next year.

I wish popcorn had less calories.

 My school is in an old house, so that might be a possibility lol

Ooooookay. 

Granted! Popcorn ceases to exist. 

I wish my intelligence score would increase by 20, from it's current score, 16.