I CAST....!

I CAST DELETE×3. The nuke and both antimissiles are deleted.

I CAST…COUNTER SPELL (not to be confused with counterspell)to summon a counter over gooses head 

I CAST TABLE SPELL! A table collides with the counter midair.

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST... ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Instantly, myself and every creature allied to me attack all at once, dealing 1633 COMBO damage that bypasses all forms of protection.

I CAST…CHAIR SPELL the chair collides with the table 

I CAST... AWAKEN! All three objects in the clash are Awakened and being fighting.

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST... NOCLIPP! You fall into your ground as if it wasn't there and get sent to the Backrooms. (The version from the wiki.    I won't specify which because I literally can't)  Good luck finding a level with an exit to that place!

I CAST… JUJUTSU SORCERY,the three now awakened objects have access to cursed energy 

It has been previously established that I cannot be trapped in the backrooms

Oh yeah, well how about THIS? I use plane shift to send you to the Decay canon and teleport you directly into the Decay itself.

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST... NARRATION!

The battle rages on well into the night. Remember that Faceling from earlier? Well the magical overflow from the spell you just casted gave him access to cursed energy as well. A flash of darkness shatters the chair and a pulse of lapis absorbs the counter. We have won the battle.

I CAST…THE TABBBBLLLLLEEEEEE,the table proceeds to land 99999999999 consecutive black flashes before ending the faceling with a domain expansion 

Btw you caaaaannntttt escape mmmmeeeeeeeee

I CAST... THE WRETCHED CYCLE! You immediately begin undergoing the Wretched Cycle (like the Backrooms phenomena) at an accelerated pace.

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST... NARRATION!

"Hah! He fell for it!" Says the awakened table over you, "You really thought that'd work?". I then use Plane Shift to trap you in a Demiplane full of Smilers (the Backrooms entity). We are victorious.

I CAST… summon greater Goosetifer13 

I CAST... You've made a foolish mistake.

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST... NARRATION!

You are teleported a few feet in front of me, standing upright. Instantly, I seemingly vanish, but about 1/99687 of a second later, you feel a punch in the chest with the force of a billion tons of TNT. You get sent flying round the world five times before I grab you by the arm and jump into the air while spinning like a helicopter. I then throw you with the force equivalent to a supernova, launching you into the sun. I then dice you into a billion or so tiny pieces and send each piece into a separate demiplane.

I CAST...REGENERATE

WITH MY BONUS ACTION, I CAST...NARRATION!

as i regenerate i proceed to instantly teleport to you then black flash you with the power of 999999nukes

I CAST... NARRATION!

I remain at the exact spot where I was and knock you into a planet on the other side of the universe with a light slap.*Sigh*, "Why is nobody else saying anything?" I say."The thread is dying, we MUST intervene." Responds the table. The Faceling nods his head in agreement.

I CAST… NARRATION 

I proceed to grab the planet before throwing at you at 99999×the speed of light