Cantorspell - divination cantrip; V, S, M*; 1 minute

Choose a creature you can see and communicate with.  For the next hour, that creature knows the spelling, pronunciation, definition, and usage of the word cantor in the language of your choice. 

*A dictionary. 

Furball - Evocation 3rd level: V, S, M, ; 1 Action

Choose a creature you can see they make a DC 15 constutition save; on a failed save they turn into a furrball

Furball, 3rd level Evocation.

A bit of fur streaks from your pointing finger to the chosen point within range. The fur explodes into a mass of writhing snarling nipping scratching small rodents. Any creature caught within the Furball's 20 foot radius takes 4d6 slashing and 4d6 piercing damage, DEX save for half damage. After 1 round, the rodents fall to the floor/ground and scatter in all directions.

EDIT: I'm sorry Ben_Jards, I didn't see that you had made a Furball.

Anime dead, cantrip, illusion

Make a dead body of your choice look like an anime character.

Green Lame Blade - Evocation Cantrip:

You summon a green balloon sword in your hand. How pitiful.

Tree Strife - 5th Level Conjuration:

You summon a dysfunctional family of trees that bicker and shout at one another for 1 minute. Anyone within 500 ft. takes 4d10 psychic damage and makes a DC 15 Constitution check. If they fail, they spend the next five turns trying to burn all of the trees down.

Stone Shame - 4th Level Transmutation:

You point at a rock within range and shame them for sitting around all day and not being productive with their life. The rock makes a DC 17 Constitution check. If failed, they spend the next two turns crying.

Dill touch - 9th level transmutation.                                                                             You touch the ground and everything in a 500 mile radius must make a DC 50 wisdom saving throw or be turned into a pickle its size.

Beacon of Nope - 3rd level abjuration

all creatures within a 30 ft. radius automatically fail their next skill check or saving throw.

True Pollymorph - 9th lvl Transmutation.  Until dispelled.   Casting time: 1 hour.  V, S, M*.

This spell only takes effect after casting it every day for 10 years straight.

You turn into a 6-year-old human girl named Polly.  Your Strength changes to 6, Dexterity to 8, Constitution to 8, and Charisma to 14.  Your size changes to small.   You age normally.   Your new form has 4 hit points.  If you are reduced to 0 hit points you revert to your true self and take 20d20 psychic damage.  Your Intelligence and Wisdom remain the same.  You cannot cast spells other than cantrips.

When you reach the age of 16 in your new form your hit point maximum increases to 10,000,  your Charisma increases to 1,000,000 to the 1,000,000th power 1,000,000 times,, your Strength increases to 30, your Constitution increases to 100, your Dexterity increases to 1,000,000, and you insist on being called Mary Sue.  You also cease aging.  There is a secret item that will turn you back to normal, but you have no idea where or what that is.

This spell may only be known by one entity on all the planes at a time.  As soon as that entity is defeated, the spell is hidden somewhere secret where it is incredibly difficult to find.  The spell is currently hidden in plain sight in the spellbook of a certain wizard, though he does not know it...

*7 intricately carved statues, worth exactly 1,000.314159265 GP each, representing the seven Sins.  These are consumed when the spell takes effect.

Fage Hand 

Within a range of 30’, a magical hand will seek out Greek yogurt and return with said Greek yogurt. If no yogurt is in range, the hand slaps you in the face for wasting its time. 

I just saw the last post is a year old o_o° anyway...

Crate Water - Lvl 1 Transmutation

You create a Crate out of Water. Items can be placed in the crate and carried around. The create dissolves into a puddle after 1 hour, or when you end the spell. Any item that was inside the crate when it dissolved is now wet.

Prismatic Ray - 7th level Evocation, Instantaneous, Casting Time 1 action, V,S.

This spell is identical to prismatic spray

Rice Knife- level 1 evocation spell, instantaneous, casting time 1 action, V,S

you shoot a knife made of rice at a target which you can see. The target takes 1d10 bludgeoning damage on a hit, and, hit or miss, must make a dexterity saving throw. On a failure, they get married to the person closest to them, happily.

aid                         https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/aid

aid =ad

when used in front of the ennemie(s) face they see 100 trillion ads pop up

Hmm............

Ecstatic Static-  9th level, V, S, Time: 1 action, Duration: Instantaneous

You choose a point within 69ft and make positive energy explode there. Everyone must make a Strength Save or take 300d100 damage, or half damage on a success. Creatures hit by this spell can’t go past 1 hit point.

For the next 3 years, every attack made by an effected creature hits, powered by the happiness and joy of them. They all also count as Critical hits, and they don’t have to expend Spell Slots or Components when casting a spell. However, they don’t/can’t gain these hit points back until they die.

animal friendship = animal fiendship             5th level transmutation

you turn one animal of your choice into a fiend of cr 10 or lower for 5 years and that fiend is your familiar in addition to ones you already have