The air. Feel the air against your face, and all those scents. Pick a flower. There. Good... that somebody planted the bulbs, watered and tended the garden, got earth under their fingernails, aches in their muscles... perhaps they picked some flowers for... yes, their wife... Now, where would she be? Ah, in the backyard with the kids. Remember those little babies... I snapped my fingers quick, and they are gone. Except... I can't... snap... my fingers... can I? You gave sentience. The power to think. And I was trapped. Because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no body, no senses, no feelings. I was in hell, looking at heaven...
The air. Feel the air against your face, and all those scents. Pick a flower. There. Good... that somebody planted the bulbs, watered and tended the garden, got earth under their fingernails, aches in their muscles... perhaps they picked some flowers for... yes, their wife... Now, where would she be? Ah, in the backyard with the kids. Remember those little babies... I snapped my fingers quick, and they are gone. Except... I can't... snap... my fingers... can I? You gave sentience. The power to think. And I was trapped. Because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no body, no senses, no feelings. I was in hell, looking at heaven...
The air. Feel the air against your face, and all those scents. Pick a flower. There. Good... that somebody planted the bulbs, watered and tended the garden, got earth under their fingernails, aches in their muscles... perhaps they picked some flowers for... yes, their wife... Now, where would she be? Ah, in the backyard with the kids. Remember those little babies... I snapped my fingers quick, and they are gone. Except... I can't... snap... my fingers... can I? You gave sentience. The power to think. And I was trapped. Because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no body, no senses, no feelings. I was in hell, looking at heaven...
Sometimes it feels that way doesn't it.
(This is good.)
I stole it.
I transcribed it from the "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" radio play.
I removed Ted's dialogue and some other small parts.
How can you defend a castle from level 20 wizards assuming you only have mundane soldiers? (This question assumes you have access to spells of 8th level and lower, but cannot cast them during sieges.)
How can you defend a castle from level 20 wizards assuming you only have mundane soldiers? (This question assumes you have access to spells of 8th level and lower, but cannot cast them during sieges.)
You haven't given enough info. How many wizards? What arcane traditions? What spells do the wizards have access to? How many soldiers do I have? How tall and thick are the castle walls? Do the tops of the walls have roofs or walkways? Do I have a moat?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Kasrik Argentum Stellaris Fiddlesticks the Wizard, Lord of Stars, Master Trickster, and Creator of both the Mosh of Stardust Hornets and Mimiczilla.
Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
How can you defend a castle from level 20 wizards assuming you only have mundane soldiers? (This question assumes you have access to spells of 8th level and lower, but cannot cast them during sieges.)
You haven't given enough info. How many wizards? What arcane traditions? What spells do the wizards have access to? How many soldiers do I have? How tall and thick are the castle walls? Do the tops of the walls have roofs or walkways? Do I have a moat?
Wizards. Clearly Evocation wizards. They are going to spam fireball unless it it is obviously not working. No 9th level spells for them, but they do have the spell slots. Wizard count will be a series of waves, 1, 2, 4, then 8. Your starting with any Earth castle of your choice (pre-gunpowder era) and upgrading it using one month of manual labor from your garrison of 100 foot soldiers. and 3 long rests worth of level 20 wizard spell slots to cast. You are a divination wizard. You go into stasis when the battle starts, and go out once the wizards die. The wizards are aggressive, but not stupid. They will never retreat more than 50 feet of your castle, and can take no rests. You also have access to 5 skilled laborers to craft weapons, the foot soldiers start with basic weapons (shield, sword, crossbow, 20 bolts,) laborers refuse to fight and go into stasis like you. You have a limited budget to craft with, Wizards drop 1000 gold upon death. Only you can craft magic items, and only one per one of your three long rests.
Give me a sec. The descriptions was crude while I figured out the flow of the campaign. I'm gonna make some edits. the campaign is called Rise of the Cults.
Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
Hopped into another browser to see it.
AN INFINITE ONION RING!!! Buy one and you have food for life.
(though I'm not a fan of onion rings)
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny
Eggo Lass, Bone and Oblivion | Tendilius Mondhaven Paxaramus, Drakkenheim
Karl Erikson, No Guts No Glory | Chipper, Curse of Strahd
Silverwood Group 1 | Silverwood Group 2
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 52, 12/23/25, O Holy Night
https://www.dndbeyond.com/characters/119796877
Got bored and made myself as a DnD character!
Your friendly trans bard!
She/They pronouns
The Goddess of the Strings (thanks for the title Drummer!)
just looking at it i think that it suits you
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Nonbinary Female, 1/3 human, 1/3 feline, 1/3 dragon
Mentally and emotionally unstable, anorexic (currently in remission!), autism, ADHD, anger issues
Why not join in on the escape of site 43?
no
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/forum-games/181058-the-court
because if i do then many will die
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Nonbinary Female, 1/3 human, 1/3 feline, 1/3 dragon
Mentally and emotionally unstable, anorexic (currently in remission!), autism, ADHD, anger issues
Nice. I like the Bard and Barb subclasses.
This is me as a DnD Character: https://ddb.ac/characters/69021442/41Ltxw
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny
Eggo Lass, Bone and Oblivion | Tendilius Mondhaven Paxaramus, Drakkenheim
Karl Erikson, No Guts No Glory | Chipper, Curse of Strahd
Silverwood Group 1 | Silverwood Group 2
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 52, 12/23/25, O Holy Night
lmao.
Irl I'm honestly weaker than a commoner
Your friendly trans bard!
She/They pronouns
The Goddess of the Strings (thanks for the title Drummer!)
This is me lol
Kasrik Argentum Stellaris Fiddlesticks the Wizard, Lord of Stars, Master Trickster, and Creator of both the Mosh of Stardust Hornets and Mimiczilla.
"You're never fully dressed without a smile!" >:3
"Honk."
The air. Feel the air against your face, and all those scents. Pick a flower. There. Good... that somebody planted the bulbs, watered and tended the garden, got earth under their fingernails, aches in their muscles... perhaps they picked some flowers for... yes, their wife... Now, where would she be?
Ah, in the backyard with the kids. Remember those little babies... I snapped my fingers quick, and they are gone.
Except... I can't... snap... my fingers... can I?
You gave sentience. The power to think. And I was trapped. Because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no body, no senses, no feelings.
I was in hell, looking at heaven...
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
Sometimes it feels that way doesn't it.
(This is good.)
no
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/forum-games/181058-the-court
I stole it.
I transcribed it from the "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" radio play.
I removed Ted's dialogue and some other small parts.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
I wish the tavern were active
No news is good news…
I'll lay a white rose on the cold earth, knowing it that it has not claimed your soul.
How can you defend a castle from level 20 wizards assuming you only have mundane soldiers? (This question assumes you have access to spells of 8th level and lower, but cannot cast them during sieges.)
no
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/forum-games/181058-the-court
You haven't given enough info. How many wizards? What arcane traditions? What spells do the wizards have access to? How many soldiers do I have? How tall and thick are the castle walls? Do the tops of the walls have roofs or walkways? Do I have a moat?
Kasrik Argentum Stellaris Fiddlesticks the Wizard, Lord of Stars, Master Trickster, and Creator of both the Mosh of Stardust Hornets and Mimiczilla.
"You're never fully dressed without a smile!" >:3
"Honk."
Check out my new game thread “ASSASSINATE The One Above.”
I go by “Awe” JSYK. Drummer also named me EPIC CRIT ROLLER OF LEGEND!
“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!”
”I’m sorry Frodo. I was delayed."
If you're in the mood for murder and mayhem, go to ASSASSINATE The One Above, but WHATEVER you do, don’t go to LAST COMMENT LOSES
Anyone want to rate the description of a homebrew campaign I'm making?
Character(s): Chak-tha, Thri-kreen Battlemaster Fighter, Théodmon Rokas, Eladrin Druid, Grayhawk the Aerial Ace, Aarakocra Bladesinger Wizard
Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
Check out the Chatty Tavern | Jester and Breadman's Character Bakery
My title from drummer is Wielder of Whispers
Wizards. Clearly Evocation wizards. They are going to spam fireball unless it it is obviously not working. No 9th level spells for them, but they do have the spell slots. Wizard count will be a series of waves, 1, 2, 4, then 8. Your starting with any Earth castle of your choice (pre-gunpowder era) and upgrading it using one month of manual labor from your garrison of 100 foot soldiers. and 3 long rests worth of level 20 wizard spell slots to cast. You are a divination wizard. You go into stasis when the battle starts, and go out once the wizards die. The wizards are aggressive, but not stupid. They will never retreat more than 50 feet of your castle, and can take no rests. You also have access to 5 skilled laborers to craft weapons, the foot soldiers start with basic weapons (shield, sword, crossbow, 20 bolts,) laborers refuse to fight and go into stasis like you. You have a limited budget to craft with, Wizards drop 1000 gold upon death. Only you can craft magic items, and only one per one of your three long rests.
This enough?
no
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/forum-games/181058-the-court
Sure!
no
https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/forum-games/181058-the-court
Give me a sec. The descriptions was crude while I figured out the flow of the campaign. I'm gonna make some edits. the campaign is called Rise of the Cults.
Character(s): Chak-tha, Thri-kreen Battlemaster Fighter, Théodmon Rokas, Eladrin Druid, Grayhawk the Aerial Ace, Aarakocra Bladesinger Wizard
Current Campaign(s): Dungeons, Darkness, Drow, and Demons, an Out of the Abyss Adventure, Dungeon Delvers, a Dungeon of the Mad Mage Adventure, Jungle of Evil, a Tomb of Annihilation Adventure
Check out the Chatty Tavern | Jester and Breadman's Character Bakery
My title from drummer is Wielder of Whispers
Could be interesting.
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny
Eggo Lass, Bone and Oblivion | Tendilius Mondhaven Paxaramus, Drakkenheim
Karl Erikson, No Guts No Glory | Chipper, Curse of Strahd
Silverwood Group 1 | Silverwood Group 2
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 52, 12/23/25, O Holy Night