I haven't forgot about Hob Greg says to his conscience It's just some ******* put a treehouse in our way; it would be bad strategy to leave a threat on our flank. then to his team These guys got nothin, but a waterbody / surfer theme. Anyone into shark tooth necklaces? Can some of you (current or former) bipeds see if the treehouse has any interest, so we can get back to tracking the ahem toddler and finding the Qwest Mebbe X
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & -Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
Iradon sees Greg and laughs at how stupid he looks, hearing nothing. He then climbs the ladder moving through Burt's space (halflings can do that) to look around (invest: 13
Burt is still twisting around at the bottom of the ladder. Not because I'm mean and am punishing him for a low roll when no roll was unnecessary, but more because I'm incredibly merciful. And you keep throwing that mercy back in my face.
Climbing the rope to the treehouse 20 feet above, Iradon pokes his little head over the lip of the floor and sees that inside there's a staff, giving off a faint blue glow. It's leaning against the back wall, and in the glow it gives off he can make out 8 or 9 figures crammed in around eachother, snoring. They're mostly dressed similarly to the two morons who fell out of the hut - mostly stripped to the waist, tattoos and hand-crafted surfer trinkets. The guy nearest the staff has a weird funky rash, made worse by the shadows cast by the faint blue light, he's covered top to (presumably, his loin cloth is pretty substantial so you can't really see his legs) toe in these patches of pocked bumps. The two guys nearest him are noticeably bigger than the others - I mean that in both the complimentary "look at those mushculs!" way and the "look at that big flabby gut! Gross!" way - and are wearing dinky scaled boleros to distract from their tubbyness.
In terms of things of interest - by which I presume you mean "anything that's not nailed down" - there are a bunch of those viscious bastard looking swords lying around very close to their owners, what looks like maybe a chain shirt folded up beside the glowy staff, the glowy staff itself, a couple of metal cylinders on a table by the fat guys marked with a stylised A formed from a bendy chevron leaning to the right with a square superimposed on it. There's a few more of these cylinders lying on the floor but they've been crushed and don't look like they're worth much. The floorboards are nailed down, so you can't have them.
It's quite a roomy treehouse, truth be told.
I'll level with you, you greedy swines. If you want to creep in and try to steal their shit, you're welcome to try but you need to get to the other side of the tree-house and back without making a sound. I'm going to need 2 stealth rolls, (there and back) with a Sleight of Hand for anything you want to take. The DC for stealth will be split between going unnoticed, disturbing their sleep (Affecting future DC) and waking them, where sleight will depend on what you're taking and who you're taking it from, plus whether or not you've disturbed anyone with your terrible stealth rolls.
The Black Knight moves over towards the ladder, or what would look to be a ladder but with some swirly humanoid growth appearing around it when he realizes it's Burt. He nods thinking that seems about right and then chimes into the group, "Hey, um, I know we likely don't know what's in that tree house up there because the little guy just went up and didn't report back yet, but something in this odd multiverse tells me that there a few things of less than slight interest up there and although I'm not quite sure who this Hob cat is because you know, the thing where I was swept off by the iron bird away down south, I'm leaning toward moving along a little closer to that X place. Although... there could be some perfectly good legs and/or, and when I say /, I really mean it, arms lying around up there. Anyone good with a sewing kit?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
(based on those stealth rolls, I assume they wake up. If they do, Iradon will run out and eldritch blast the top of the ladder to try and break it. Only if they wake, if they only stir on the way he grabs the staff before running out)
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
(Stealth roll 1)
A bunch of these mysterious but incredibly dangerous oafs that I keep trying to get you to walk away from stir in their sleep, muttering "mmnuhsmuhmuhBro! nowuhshmuhnuh"
(SoH) Ira's hand moves so quietly it's as if the air itself has politely excused itself and moved to one side.
(Stealth roll 2)
OK, we know they're going to wake up, the only question is how many - answer 6 but don't tell the players! - and then talk me through again how you blast the ladder before you climb down it? Bearing in mind that Eldritch Blast technically needs a living target so you're at the mercy of how pedantic I'm feeling once I hear the rest of your plan.
Burt slows his swirling down, and prepares himself in case he needs to catch a halfling.
Uh... that sounds pretty strenuous. I don't want to alarm you but given you didn't clone your character sheet until after Alternate Burt got pregnant in the other thread, you might want to take it easy in this thread too...
While climbing down the ladder, Iradon Eldritch licks one of the people but at an angle where the lick has to pass through the top of the rope. It doesn't matter if the rope doesn't break, as long as it frays enough to break under their weight. Attack: 19 Damage: 6
As he sees Iradon's inelegant retreat, Greg comes to a realization Those were hints. he says to his inner voice with a faceplant. His inner voice seems to be a dumbass, who only realized the nature of this universe's guiding deity as he woke up this morning. Not clues to solve a clever puzzle, or jokes, but signs that we ought to come back when we are level 5 or something. Burt unable to climb a ladder, my conscience having peculiar timing, guards falling on their swords were merciful hints and we ignored them, mocked them even. ****.Probably missing even more obvious information, Greg undergoes a religious conversion and tries to suck up to the boss Our dee-emm, which art in eurorpe, forgive us our dumbassery.
It must be hard running a universe where the heroes are so obstinate.
Um, guys, I think we need to get away
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & -Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
Iradon thinks Europe, that sounds nice, if only I came from there, oh wait I do. I might not be able to say I come from the union of Europe in a month or so but the continent will always be my home
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
(Sorry for the delay, had a lot of rolls to do to see how this pans out)
"wake! Wake my dudes! A thief is abroad!"Comes the rich, mellifluous cry from with the house, followed by exclamations of "no way!" and also laments of "Dude!". The carbuncled old guy comes crashing towards the door just as Iradon makes his escape, his eldritch tongue rasping across his gnarly foe's cheek. Ira gets some piney, citrusy notes with a bitter but refreshing aftertaste. "Aaargh! Give me back my fancy stick you hoser!" He cries.
"We got this dude!" booms a voice from inside, followed by a pschtt! pschtt! noise. "No you fools, you're not re-"and then Gnarly's swept out the door on an amber wave. The scent of hops -and is that a note of caramel? - fills the air. He tries to grab at the frayed rope but it snaps under load and he falls to the ground, landing on one of the corpses below.
4 fall damage
21 piercing. (Not parsing error. Need to see the result of this before proceeding. Note, you have 1 rounds grace on whomevers left in there. And for the record the Mythic Table I use to adjudicate these random encounters ******* loves you guys for some reason. Ah is parsing now. Oh shit!)
The gnarly guy screams as his arm is sawn right through, a gush of sweet smelling dark orange goop spraying out of the wound.
"Bev! Dude, you okay?" Someone asks from above.
Iradon, you have the fancy stick and both you and Burt are drenched in what smells like a high end ale. What now?
As soaring music crescendos, Greg bravely wheels along the direction towards where Hob's trail leads, just coincidentally it happens to be away from the overmanned tree fort. Does the light cast by the glowstick provide enough light to move quickly? Greg also still has his torch. Did the guys in that movie fight in WWI? 'Cause Stumpy's full name turns out to be Gallipoli, originally as a pun (not a good one) on gallop, I keep thinking that there was in-war running before the barefoot white guys in white on the beach. Wasn't able to determine in the seconds of exhaustive research I put into this post.
Burt and Sir Black Forest Ham ought to beat feet too. Follow meeee!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & -Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
Despite the cries of "dude!" and "bro!" and a slightly more articulate if shakily delivered "Run all you want, you flesh-chewing sons of whores - her wave is coming! And all you mother****ers will be swept before her!" you do not look back. There is no pursuit, though whether that is because they fear your powers to create farcical levels of slapstick damage or they recognise your insignificance in their wider designs is unclear.
You hurtle through the underbrush, the light of the torches and the mysterious Glowy Stick being enough to see by. You emerge from the wood on a grassy hillside dotted with boulders. The moon shines conveniently brightly in the sky, it's pale glow letting you see far further in the endless night than you pricks deserve. A quick look at the map tells you this is around about where the big X is, give or take a few hundred feet. There is no immediate sign of that errant toddler.
Iradon is glad to have a glowing stick, probably the size of (or bigger than) him. He is staring at it and holding on tightly. He is in no rush to get off Greg
You see nothing of note. No tracks or man-spoor. Just grass waving on the moonlight-dappled hillside. It's as if the toddler has vanished. Or is hiding behind one of the boulders. Or was eaten by a passing dragon. Or fell into a zombie-filled crypt - let's not dwell on it too much, I'm sure he's fine.
With the woods behind you the hilly world to your north, east and west is your oyster. The old map indicted you need to head north, but don't let a napkin tell you what to do.
I haven't forgot about Hob Greg says to his conscience It's just some ******* put a treehouse in our way; it would be bad strategy to leave a threat on our flank. then to his team These guys got nothin, but a waterbody / surfer theme. Anyone into shark tooth necklaces? Can some of you (current or former) bipeds see if the treehouse has any interest, so we can get back to tracking the ahem toddler and finding the Qwest Mebbe X
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & - Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods
Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
Iradon sees Greg and laughs at how stupid he looks, hearing nothing. He then climbs the ladder moving through Burt's space (halflings can do that) to look around (invest: 13
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
Burt is still twisting around at the bottom of the ladder. Not because I'm mean and am punishing him for a low roll when no roll was unnecessary, but more because I'm incredibly merciful. And you keep throwing that mercy back in my face.
Climbing the rope to the treehouse 20 feet above, Iradon pokes his little head over the lip of the floor and sees that inside there's a staff, giving off a faint blue glow. It's leaning against the back wall, and in the glow it gives off he can make out 8 or 9 figures crammed in around eachother, snoring. They're mostly dressed similarly to the two morons who fell out of the hut - mostly stripped to the waist, tattoos and hand-crafted surfer trinkets. The guy nearest the staff has a weird funky rash, made worse by the shadows cast by the faint blue light, he's covered top to (presumably, his loin cloth is pretty substantial so you can't really see his legs) toe in these patches of pocked bumps. The two guys nearest him are noticeably bigger than the others - I mean that in both the complimentary "look at those mushculs!" way and the "look at that big flabby gut! Gross!" way - and are wearing dinky scaled boleros to distract from their tubbyness.
In terms of things of interest - by which I presume you mean "anything that's not nailed down" - there are a bunch of those viscious bastard looking swords lying around very close to their owners, what looks like maybe a chain shirt folded up beside the glowy staff, the glowy staff itself, a couple of metal cylinders on a table by the fat guys marked with a stylised A formed from a bendy chevron leaning to the right with a square superimposed on it. There's a few more of these cylinders lying on the floor but they've been crushed and don't look like they're worth much. The floorboards are nailed down, so you can't have them.
It's quite a roomy treehouse, truth be told.
I'll level with you, you greedy swines. If you want to creep in and try to steal their shit, you're welcome to try but you need to get to the other side of the tree-house and back without making a sound. I'm going to need 2 stealth rolls, (there and back) with a Sleight of Hand for anything you want to take. The DC for stealth will be split between going unnoticed, disturbing their sleep (Affecting future DC) and waking them, where sleight will depend on what you're taking and who you're taking it from, plus whether or not you've disturbed anyone with your terrible stealth rolls.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
The Black Knight moves over towards the ladder, or what would look to be a ladder but with some swirly humanoid growth appearing around it when he realizes it's Burt. He nods thinking that seems about right and then chimes into the group, "Hey, um, I know we likely don't know what's in that tree house up there because the little guy just went up and didn't report back yet, but something in this odd multiverse tells me that there a few things of less than slight interest up there and although I'm not quite sure who this Hob cat is because you know, the thing where I was swept off by the iron bird away down south, I'm leaning toward moving along a little closer to that X place. Although... there could be some perfectly good legs and/or, and when I say /, I really mean it, arms lying around up there. Anyone good with a sewing kit?"
Though not currently a member, seeking admission to the really long and important signature club. Please consider this as a current CV.
Other personalities... Burgee , The Colorless Knight, Fiorello, RW Goodbarrel, Dred, Evrik - Out of the Abyss & Dungeon of the Mad Mage
Site Rules & Guidelines || Tooltips || Homebrew FAQ || Snippet Codes || Syllvva's Guides
Stealth 1: 7
SoH to take the staff: 16
Stealth 2: 6
(based on those stealth rolls, I assume they wake up. If they do, Iradon will run out and eldritch blast the top of the ladder to try and break it. Only if they wake, if they only stir on the way he grabs the staff before running out)
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
(Stealth roll 1)
A bunch of these mysterious but incredibly dangerous oafs that I keep trying to get you to walk away from stir in their sleep, muttering "mmnuhsmuhmuhBro! nowuhshmuhnuh"
(SoH) Ira's hand moves so quietly it's as if the air itself has politely excused itself and moved to one side.
(Stealth roll 2)
OK, we know they're going to wake up, the only question is how many - answer 6 but don't tell the players! - and then talk me through again how you blast the ladder before you climb down it? Bearing in mind that Eldritch Blast technically needs a living target so you're at the mercy of how pedantic I'm feeling once I hear the rest of your plan.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Burt slows his swirling down, and prepares himself in case he needs to catch a halfling.
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
Uh... that sounds pretty strenuous. I don't want to alarm you but given you didn't clone your character sheet until after Alternate Burt got pregnant in the other thread, you might want to take it easy in this thread too...
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Hey, his soul split in two well before he got pregnant from himself. Luckily there aren't many mirrors around here.
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
While climbing down the ladder, Iradon Eldritch licks one of the people but at an angle where the lick has to pass through the top of the rope. It doesn't matter if the rope doesn't break, as long as it frays enough to break under their weight. Attack: 19 Damage: 6
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
As he sees Iradon's inelegant retreat, Greg comes to a realization Those were hints. he says to his inner voice with a faceplant. His inner voice seems to be a dumbass, who only realized the nature of this universe's guiding deity as he woke up this morning. Not clues to solve a clever puzzle, or jokes, but signs that we ought to come back when we are level 5 or something. Burt unable to climb a ladder, my conscience having peculiar timing, guards falling on their swords were merciful hints and we ignored them, mocked them even. ****. Probably missing even more obvious information, Greg undergoes a religious conversion and tries to suck up to the boss Our dee-emm, which art in eurorpe, forgive us our dumbassery.
It must be hard running a universe where the heroes are so obstinate.
Um, guys, I think we need to get away
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & - Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods
Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
Iradon thinks Europe, that sounds nice, if only I came from there, oh wait I do. I might not be able to say I come from the union of Europe in a month or so but the continent will always be my home
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
(Sorry for the delay, had a lot of rolls to do to see how this pans out)
"wake! Wake my dudes! A thief is abroad!" Comes the rich, mellifluous cry from with the house, followed by exclamations of "no way!" and also laments of "Dude!". The carbuncled old guy comes crashing towards the door just as Iradon makes his escape, his eldritch tongue rasping across his gnarly foe's cheek. Ira gets some piney, citrusy notes with a bitter but refreshing aftertaste. "Aaargh! Give me back my fancy stick you hoser!" He cries.
"We got this dude!" booms a voice from inside, followed by a pschtt! pschtt! noise. "No you fools, you're not re-" and then Gnarly's swept out the door on an amber wave. The scent of hops -and is that a note of caramel? - fills the air. He tries to grab at the frayed rope but it snaps under load and he falls to the ground, landing on one of the corpses below.
4 fall damage
21 piercing. (Not parsing error. Need to see the result of this before proceeding. Note, you have 1 rounds grace on whomevers left in there. And for the record the Mythic Table I use to adjudicate these random encounters ******* loves you guys for some reason. Ah is parsing now. Oh shit!)
The gnarly guy screams as his arm is sawn right through, a gush of sweet smelling dark orange goop spraying out of the wound.
"Bev! Dude, you okay?" Someone asks from above.
Iradon, you have the fancy stick and both you and Burt are drenched in what smells like a high end ale. What now?
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Iradon jumps on Greg "Go chariot of fire, no time to horse around"
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
As soaring music crescendos, Greg bravely wheels along the direction towards where Hob's trail leads, just coincidentally it happens to be away from the overmanned tree fort. Does the light cast by the glowstick provide enough light to move quickly? Greg also still has his torch. Did the guys in that movie fight in WWI? 'Cause Stumpy's full name turns out to be Gallipoli, originally as a pun (not a good one) on gallop, I keep thinking that there was in-war running before the barefoot white guys in white on the beach. Wasn't able to determine in the seconds of exhaustive research I put into this post.
Burt and Sir Black Forest Ham ought to beat feet too. Follow meeee!
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & - Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods
Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
Burt sniffs the goop, decides he's not that thirsty, and runs after the glowstick.
Back and ready to DM and chew bubblegum. And I'm alllll outta bubblegum.
Despite the cries of "dude!" and "bro!" and a slightly more articulate if shakily delivered "Run all you want, you flesh-chewing sons of whores - her wave is coming! And all you mother****ers will be swept before her!" you do not look back. There is no pursuit, though whether that is because they fear your powers to create farcical levels of slapstick damage or they recognise your insignificance in their wider designs is unclear.
You hurtle through the underbrush, the light of the torches and the mysterious Glowy Stick being enough to see by. You emerge from the wood on a grassy hillside dotted with boulders. The moon shines conveniently brightly in the sky, it's pale glow letting you see far further in the endless night than you pricks deserve. A quick look at the map tells you this is around about where the big X is, give or take a few hundred feet. There is no immediate sign of that errant toddler.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin
Iradon is glad to have a glowing stick, probably the size of (or bigger than) him. He is staring at it and holding on tightly. He is in no rush to get off Greg
After joining more my signature got out of hand so I am now a proud member of the extended signature club!! :)
Oddly, Greg does not feel the same way. Down please, I have something to do. he says over his shoulder.
Greg will look more carefully for less immediate signs of the toddler errant, looking for tracks and destruction kids leave behind 21
Galanodel Deacon Tosh - Less-than-Half-Elf Bard - & - Flitterbug - Pixie Sorceress : Meanwhile in the Westwoods
Amadow 'Tug' Rioux - Human Psionic Palooka : Revenge Heist - - - Gofer Bayut - Bugbear Paladin Messenger : Shrouded Sky
You see nothing of note. No tracks or man-spoor. Just grass waving on the moonlight-dappled hillside. It's as if the toddler has vanished. Or is hiding behind one of the boulders. Or was eaten by a passing dragon. Or fell into a zombie-filled crypt - let's not dwell on it too much, I'm sure he's fine.
With the woods behind you the hilly world to your north, east and west is your oyster. The old map indicted you need to head north, but don't let a napkin tell you what to do.
Strix, Shifter Shadow Monk in Lost Mines of Phandelver ¦ Sihegiall Human Soulknife Rogue in In Search of Molly McGuffin