Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows. (I may have already done this)
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All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
[Druid]: “Well if push comes to shove I can just turn into a yak, because apparently that’s a thing I can do.”
[Warlock, being creepy while surrounded by darkness]: “Where are you going friend?” “I thought we were playing a game?” “You can’t run away from me.” “Where do you think you’re going?” “You should chill. (after casting Ray of Frost)” “Oh, looks like your friend abandoned you. More fun for me then” “Who’s next? (After killing someone)”
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"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
"Who'd have thunk that Lawful Nice and Chaotic Violent would become best friends?"
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
[Warlock, being creepy while surrounded by darkness]: “Where are you going friend?” “I thought we were playing a game?” “You can’t run away from me.” “Where do you think you’re going?” “You should chill. (after casting Ray of Frost)” “Oh, looks like your friend abandoned you. More fun for me then” “Who’s next? (After killing someone)”
As someone who occasionally likes creating a “creepy” character, I find this very amusing.
Paladin: “I want to get information out of the kobold. I place the kobold’s hands on the forge.”
DM: “Alright...roll for “Intimidation”.
Paladin: “I also flatten the kobold’s hands with the forge machinery.”
(table erupts in shock & horror)
DM: “...you get advantage on the roll.”
Paladin: “17”.
(kobold screams as his hands are smashed)
Paladin: “Well?”
DM: “He really doesn’t know anything.”
(after)
Cleric: “We’re taking the kobold with us?!”
Paladin: “He is my prisoner. He has broken the law.”
Ranger: “...and you have broken his hands. I think you’re even.”
Warlock: “SO not even...not even close.”
(later, our party is attacked by orcs in the jungle, and our Paladin goes down)
DM: “You see the kobold, feet still shackled, turn and gesture to you, Paladin, as you start to lose consciousness. Despite not having hands anymore, you think you understand the kobold’s meaning as it jabs a stump upward, spits at you, and runs away into the jungle.”
Paladin: “...well played.” (passes out)
(later)
Cleric: “You are making SO many enemies in this jungle...first there’s that goblin village you annihilated, then the lich lady, now that kobold...”
Paladin: “All will face judgement.”
(much later in the campaign)
DM: “As you meet the lich for the second time, you notice among her entourage, one of the tribal goblins from the village you destroyed; and a kobold with two metallic blades where his hands should be. They are staring murderously at YOU, Paladin.”
Paladin: “HERETICS & LIARS, working together! It’s a conspiracy!”
Cleric: “...and the name of that conspiracy is “excessive violence”.
[Cleric]: "[Rogue] needs to stop saying he wants to die or I might just make his wish come true."
[Paladin]: "[Cleric] NO!"
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Little do they know the rogue is undead and done with everybody's shiz.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I'm not part of the cult.
Current Character: https://www.dndbeyond.com/profile/MajestorSteel1103/characters/44226318
Leader of the Cult of ANTI-Sedge
Priest of the Supreme Court of Sauce as well as one of the three founders (others being GreatAxeblade and ParticleHex)
"I am going to summon a cow, AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!"
Pronouns: He/Him
"You don't know what these weird bug things are! They're scary and ew!"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Dire cows. Dire cows. Dire cows.
(I may have already done this)
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
[Druid]: “Well if push comes to shove I can just turn into a yak, because apparently that’s a thing I can do.”
[Warlock, being creepy while surrounded by darkness]: “Where are you going friend?” “I thought we were playing a game?” “You can’t run away from me.” “Where do you think you’re going?” “You should chill. (after casting Ray of Frost)” “Oh, looks like your friend abandoned you. More fun for me then” “Who’s next? (After killing someone)”
"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
Characters for Tenebris Sine Fine
RoughCoronet's Greater Wills
when casting suggestion:
"These are not the druids you are looking for"
"Let's all be glad the goat didn't have to roll too."
"Can I cast Cure Wounds on my shoe?"
"When in doubt, choose the shiniest one."
Bard: "Let's run through the town to kill some innocents!"
Sorcerer: "Sure sounds fun!"
(Good-aligned) Cleric: "Don't be out too late boys."
Chilling kinda vibe.
"Okay, now that the ferret is in the chest-"
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
"Who'd have thunk that Lawful Nice and Chaotic Violent would become best friends?"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
[Paraphrased]
"Huh, a bead of fire hanging in the air."
"It looks hot."
"Let's prod it."
[Delayed Blast Fireball detonates killing the entire party.]
Chilling kinda vibe.
"You all see--"
"I don't, I'm blind"
As someone who occasionally likes creating a “creepy” character, I find this very amusing.
”Let’s traumatize some guards!”
Paladin: “I want to get information out of the kobold. I place the kobold’s hands on the forge.”
DM: “Alright...roll for “Intimidation”.
Paladin: “I also flatten the kobold’s hands with the forge machinery.”
(table erupts in shock & horror)
DM: “...you get advantage on the roll.”
Paladin: “17”.
(kobold screams as his hands are smashed)
Paladin: “Well?”
DM: “He really doesn’t know anything.”
(after)
Cleric: “We’re taking the kobold with us?!”
Paladin: “He is my prisoner. He has broken the law.”
Ranger: “...and you have broken his hands. I think you’re even.”
Warlock: “SO not even...not even close.”
(later, our party is attacked by orcs in the jungle, and our Paladin goes down)
DM: “You see the kobold, feet still shackled, turn and gesture to you, Paladin, as you start to lose consciousness. Despite not having hands anymore, you think you understand the kobold’s meaning as it jabs a stump upward, spits at you, and runs away into the jungle.”
Paladin: “...well played.” (passes out)
(later)
Cleric: “You are making SO many enemies in this jungle...first there’s that goblin village you annihilated, then the lich lady, now that kobold...”
Paladin: “All will face judgement.”
(much later in the campaign)
DM: “As you meet the lich for the second time, you notice among her entourage, one of the tribal goblins from the village you destroyed; and a kobold with two metallic blades where his hands should be. They are staring murderously at YOU, Paladin.”
Paladin: “HERETICS & LIARS, working together! It’s a conspiracy!”
Cleric: “...and the name of that conspiracy is “excessive violence”.
"Thats eel racist!"
"What?-"
"You're racist agianst eels!"
"Wha- No, I-"
"EEL RACIST!"
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I know what that's like.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
For context, Nlet, our kenku artificer, had been jumped by an intellect devourer, and was as such a bit loopy in the moment.
Fighter: "Hey, what are you doing?"
Artificer: "Sitting on this egg. Can't you see?"
Fighter: "Thats a rock...-"
Cleric: "Shhh, just let it go."
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist