Neversworn the Wraith: *prone on the ground after falling off his steed* You will never defeat me! Curses on your family, and your friends, and-
Owlfolk Warlock: you forgot about the cart that was right behind Neversworn.
DM: Ah right! I'll roll for that.
*rolls a nat 1 for Neversworn's dex save*
DM: Well... as soon as Neversworn completes those words, he is run over by the horse cart behind him, the driver not noticing the wraith clearly on the road.
Human Rogue and Owlfolk Warlock: YES!!!
Later, we reflected on this ironic defeat as the most Disney villain death in our campaign thus far. Neversworn will be forever remembered as a combination of great battling and low rolls.
The party fought a white dragon but it never compared to this.
Neversworn the Wraith: *prone on the ground after falling off his steed* You will never defeat me! Curses on your family, and your friends, and-
Owlfolk Warlock: you forgot about the cart that was right behind Neversworn.
DM: Ah right! I'll roll for that.
*rolls a nat 1 for Neversworn's dex save*
DM: Well... as soon as Neversworn completes those words, he is run over by the horse cart behind him, the driver not noticing the wraith clearly on the road.
Human Rogue and Owlfolk Warlock: YES!!!
Later, we reflected on this ironic defeat as the most Disney villain death in our campaign thus far. Neversworn will be forever remembered as a combination of great battling and low rolls.
The party fought a white dragon but it never compared to this.
When the players are one step ahead of the DM and remind the DM of a key feature of an encounter that the DM forgot... DM: "Oh.... Yeah."🤦🏻♂️
When the DM is one step ahead of the players and reminds the players of a key feature of an encounter that they forgot... Players: "Oh.... Yeah."🤦🏻♂️ (This one usually follows after the DM says, "Are you sure?")
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This was just last night when playing Dragon heist. My neutral good level 2 goliath warlock had recieved a very powerful item from the rogue(who snuck into my character's room while she was sleeping. He had it In his gloved hand.) called The Talisman of Pure Good.
Me: I show this talisman to Volo, "What is this? It has some magic in it I can tell".
Dm: He examines, and the backs away from it and says, "Every back up!!"
Me: W-What's wrong?! Is it something that hurt me??
DM (Volo): No no you'll be fine, but if that touches ANY of us, we could be killed.
Me:.... Tia CAREFULLY puts the talisman into her genie vessel. Not wanting accidentally hurt anyone.
In my first Dragon Heist campaign, our undead Dragonborn Warlock Necros had an adventure of his own when the rest of the party fizzled out to do other campaigns.
He escaped prison (because he left the party in session 1 due to killing some citizens with eldritch blast), joined Manshoon's Zhentarim, went through the first level of Undermountain, visited Skullport, and met some aliens.
Player One (Telepathically to two people): Hi, who are you two?
Player Two: "Who are you? And there aren't two of me."
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The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bardof the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules.Sig.Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Very recently, a comment I made regarding an upcoming skit webseries:
D&D: Where the roll of a die can make someone who is tone-deaf Perform opera (CR20) and someone who actually sings opera merely Perform Yankee-Doodle Dandy off-key (CR 5).😜
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Over the years of my studying of gazebos- I read about something called the dread gazebo!I devoted my life to studying it. A huge monster that steals gazebos- and makes fortresses of them!" -Larry the Tortle
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check out my latest homebrew (still in beta): Fruit Ninja!
Three goblins in a trench coat?
Kobolds.
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
DM: you turn the corner to see a pirate captain wearing the full Captain Hook regalia. One tidbit: his head is that of a sea flounder.
Owlfolk Warlock: Tuft is trying his best not to laugh.
Captain Mario: "OHHHHH HELLLO THERE!!!""
Owlfolk Warlock: *laughs immensely* That was above game.
Neversworn the Wraith: *prone on the ground after falling off his steed* You will never defeat me! Curses on your family, and your friends, and-
Owlfolk Warlock: you forgot about the cart that was right behind Neversworn.
DM: Ah right! I'll roll for that.
*rolls a nat 1 for Neversworn's dex save*
DM: Well... as soon as Neversworn completes those words, he is run over by the horse cart behind him, the driver not noticing the wraith clearly on the road.
Human Rogue and Owlfolk Warlock: YES!!!
Later, we reflected on this ironic defeat as the most Disney villain death in our campaign thus far. Neversworn will be forever remembered as a combination of great battling and low rolls.
The party fought a white dragon but it never compared to this.
When the players are one step ahead of the DM and remind the DM of a key feature of an encounter that the DM forgot...
DM: "Oh.... Yeah."🤦🏻♂️
When the DM is one step ahead of the players and reminds the players of a key feature of an encounter that they forgot...
Players: "Oh.... Yeah."🤦🏻♂️
(This one usually follows after the DM says, "Are you sure?")
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This was just last night when playing Dragon heist. My neutral good level 2 goliath warlock had recieved a very powerful item from the rogue(who snuck into my character's room while she was sleeping. He had it In his gloved hand.) called The Talisman of Pure Good.
Me: I show this talisman to Volo, "What is this? It has some magic in it I can tell".
Dm: He examines, and the backs away from it and says, "Every back up!!"
Me: W-What's wrong?! Is it something that hurt me??
DM (Volo): No no you'll be fine, but if that touches ANY of us, we could be killed.
Me:.... Tia CAREFULLY puts the talisman into her genie vessel. Not wanting accidentally hurt anyone.
In my first Dragon Heist campaign, our undead Dragonborn Warlock Necros had an adventure of his own when the rest of the party fizzled out to do other campaigns.
He escaped prison (because he left the party in session 1 due to killing some citizens with eldritch blast), joined Manshoon's Zhentarim, went through the first level of Undermountain, visited Skullport, and met some aliens.
He's currently in Sigil which is insane but true.
That's pretty cool.
Player One (Telepathically to two people): Hi, who are you two?
Player Two: "Who are you? And there aren't two of me."
The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bard of the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules. Sig. Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Very recently, a comment I made regarding an upcoming skit webseries:
D&D: Where the roll of a die can make someone who is tone-deaf Perform opera (CR20) and someone who actually sings opera merely Perform Yankee-Doodle Dandy off-key (CR 5).😜
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
A Warlock whose character is a chef is exposed to a vision of his worst fear:
”What are you DOING?! You’re wasting the food! YOU’RE WASTING THE FOOD..!!”
(Warlock proceeds to have a panic attack)
“I feed the wig a cracker.”
Same session that I got the talisman of pure good. Our ghost bartender had made us breakfast, that consisted of mashed potatoes and bacon.
Me: Tia examines the mashed potatoes. "What's this white and brown stuff?"
Volvo: Oh. That's mashed potatoes.
Me: YOU CAN MASH POTATOES??? We normally eat our potatoes raw.
Bard: Gross.
Me: I taste the mashed potatoes, how does it taste?
DM: it is easily the most delicious thing you've ever taste.
Me in the chat: *Happy goliath squee*
"Over the years of my studying of gazebos- I read about something called the dread gazebo! I devoted my life to studying it. A huge monster that steals gazebos- and makes fortresses of them!" -Larry the Tortle
check out my latest homebrew (still in beta): Fruit Ninja!
(not really a quote, but something silly)
Random lost child in the middle of the streets
Everyone else: "oh, poor child, i hope we find its parents"
Kayda, my dragonborn: forcefully adopts the child while the whole group tries to stop her
DM: "You see a man acting like a bird: pecking at his burger."
Party: "okay..." *slowly walks away*
Wait, a burger? IN MEDIEVAL TIMES!?
Yeah, they added it to the menu.
“Can somebody please just kill this fool?!”
(party looks over at the Cleric, a cultist of Bhaal, God of Murder)
Cleric: “…what?”
Party: “Do the thing!”
Cleric: (sighs) “Has it occurred to all of you that I’m not in the mood?”
Party: “C’mon, do it!”
Cleric: “…fine.”
(flings dagger)
“I enter furry mode”
”okay, you enter furry mode”
Come participate in the Competition of the Finest Brews, Edition XXVIII?
My homebrew stuff:
Spells, Monsters, Magic Items, Feats, Subclasses.
I am an Archfey, but nobody seems to notice.
Extended Signature