Player 3: "Otyughs are people, too." Player 4: "Otyughs are literally not people."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
“Ever seen seen what a .44 magnum would do to an Orc?”
”This character is suspiciously anime for a Paladin........”
“So yeah, you guys caused a major economic depression and then caused the town to burn to the ground and collapse in on itself and be buried within a underground cave system, ya happy now?”
"What doesn't kill you makes you more likely to die."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
“So yeah, you guys caused a major economic depression and then caused the town to burn to the ground and collapse in on itself and be buried within a underground cave system, ya happy now?”
Hag: (begging for her life) “Wait! I can cure you of your curse!”
Warlock: (holding a great sword over her) “I’m listening.”
Hag: “Your curse slowly eats away at you…I can see that darkness creeping across your hands, so stained by violence. Spare my life; and I will remove this evil from you!”
Warlock: “…”
Hag: “…”
Warlock: “…you’re going to remove my hands, aren’t you?”
Fifth level party of Ferrin (half elf wizard), Sister Serena (aasimar cleric), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), and Xanlar (half elf paladin) plus NPCs Phillip (human ranger) and "the kobold" (who's name we still haven't bothered learning after a dozen sessions).
Party is on our way to leave town when a large, armored minotaur steps out before us and points at Ferrin.
Minotaur: Are you Ferrin? I have bad news for you!
Serena: Seriously? *Straps on shield*
Minotaur: You got a problem, girl?
Serena: Uh, I hope not? Seriously, you just come out of nowhere looking all big and scary and yell at my friend about bad news. How do you expect us to react?
Minotaur: I'm a courier, and it's rough out here in these parts. *Points at Ferrin again* You Ferrin? You match the description I was given.
Ferrin: Maybe? What kind of message do you have that you say is bad news?
Minotaur: It's an envelope.
DM: The minotaur pulls a big envelope out of a satchel. Written on it in big letters are the words "BAD NEWS"
Ferrin: This had better not be drugs again.
***
The party is back in the swamp, heading to the fort they were driven from previously, planning to poison the water supply to make it vulnerable so they can rescue any prisoners being held there. Near their destination they are attacked by a dozen bullywugs. After a few rounds of combat, the fight is brought to an abrupt end as Ferrin casts a fireball that kills eight of the nine remaining bullywugs and Serena finishes the last one with a sacred flame.
DM: Okay, now the swamp smells like a French restaurant.
Shortly afterwards, a single Bullywug appears, adorned with feathers, ribbons, etc, jumping around and keeping his distance. Serena attempts to communicate via various gestures and rolls high on a performance check.
DM: Okay, Serena and this frogman are having an epic game of charades, and you get the idea that he doesn't think much of the ones you just killed and wants you to follow him.
As we get to the edge of the bullywug village, the kobold climbs up onto Xanlar's shoulders.
Xanlar: You can mount me any time, buddy. *Winks*
The kobold slowly climbs back down then runs over and climbs up onto Phillip's shoulders and the others hear him whispering.
Kobold: Uhhh, Xanlar's kind of a creep.
The party has a meeting with the bullywug chief, who deems them acceptable guests after tasting Serena's mace like a lollipop. We attempt to convince him that it would be in the tribe's interest to help us attack the fort because the Fravians [enemy nation] are bad neighbors. We're told we have to pass some trials if we want help with that. We take a short rest while the trials are being prepared.
Kobold: Uh, Xanlar. Nothing personal, some people might think you're good looking but my type is more scaly. And female.
Xanlar [forgetting about the previous bit]: Huh? What are you talking about?
Serena: You're getting let down easy by a kobold.
Still during the rest, a brief roleplayed counseling session between Serena and Phillip where she cheers him up despite all the unpleasant crap we've been going through lately (as a priestess she considers this part of her calling). It's worth noting that Serena is seventeen and Phillip only a year or two older.
Phillip: Wow, that really makes me feel a bit better. You're pretty impressive, Serena. It's a shame you're a priestess. Uh...*blushes and awkwardly shuffles away*
Serena [ooc]: Serena blushes hard, which is extremely visible on her super pale complexion, and decides to not mention that her order does not require celibacy.
Kobold: Uh, was that supposed to be-
Serena: Hush, you!
Kobold: But it seemed like-
Serena: Hush!
First trial is singing one of the tribe's holy hymns, which is a bunch of guttural croaking and moaning noises. Various noises are made and performance checks are rolled to succeed. Second trial is to duplicate a few bullywugs jumping and balancing on each other's shoulders while doing a goofy looking dance. The party's rolls are less than great (nobody has a particularly high dexterity score) and this takes a while to succeed. Serena recused herself because the trial requires only three people and she has a negative dex mod.
Serena [in Roll20 text chat]: Cirque du Soleil vs tumbling rodeo clowns!
DM switches the Discord music bot to Cirque du Soleil soundtrack.
***
Third trial is combat and the chief summons a froghemoth from a nearby pool of swamp. The DM reveals the big, tentacly monster token on the map.
Serena: Seriously? What is it with tentacle monsters this week?
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
“You didn’t miss much… I learned how cambions were made, which was interesting. Also, does anyone know any babysitters around here? No reason.”
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
“You didn’t miss much… I learned how cambions were made, which was interesting. Also, does anyone know any babysitters around here? No reason.”
The last two must be related.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
“You didn’t miss much… I learned how cambions were made, which was interesting. Also, does anyone know any babysitters around here? No reason.”
The last two must be related.
All three.
I thought they might be, but the first is very random.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
“You didn’t miss much… I learned how cambions were made, which was interesting. Also, does anyone know any babysitters around here? No reason.”
The last two must be related.
All three.
I thought they might be, but the first is very random.
Oh the last two are for sure.
The first is just there.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
A reacurring joke from a group of campaigns: Hee Hee Pacifist Run
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Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Speaker: “Tell me what you know of this…devil cult.”
Warlock: “Well, they’re a bunch o’ lunatics, for starters. They’re leader thinks that the archdevil Levistus talks to him in his head, but he’s full of it.”
Speaker: “I see. That is…troubling.”
Rogue: (leans forward and gestures to the Warlock) “It’s actually HIM that has Levistus whispering in his head!”
(the Speakers eyes widen as the whole table just gawks at the Rogue who spilled the beans)
Speaker: “…dear gods.”
Sorcerer: “To be fair…we’re all hearing voices these days. It’s best just to roll with it.”
Speaker: (looking around the table) “It isn’t…contagious…is it?”
Speaker: “Tell me what you know of this…devil cult.”
Warlock: “Well, they’re a bunch o’ lunatics, for starters. They’re leader thinks that the archdevil Levistus talks to him in his head, but he’s full of it.”
Speaker: “I see. That is…troubling.”
Rogue: (leans forward and gestures to the Warlock) “It’s actually HIM that has Levistus whispering in his head!”
(the Speakers eyes widen as the whole table just gawks at the Rogue who spilled the beans)
Speaker: “…dear gods.”
Sorcerer: “To be fair…we’re all hearing voices these days. It’s best just to roll with it.”
Speaker: (looking around the table) “It isn’t…contagious…is it?”
it is. it always is
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
Player 3: "Otyughs are people, too."
Player 4: "Otyughs are literally not people."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Quote 1: "You are propelled by the power of bagpipes."
Quote 2 (When given a message by a child): I STAB HIM!!!
Quote 3: "I blast my bagpipes in an attempt to deafen the bard."
Crusher of Cranium in the "oops, i accidentally destroyed someones brain" cult.
I sell bamboozle insurance
A few from today’s sesh:
“Ever seen seen what a .44 magnum would do to an Orc?”
”This character is suspiciously anime for a Paladin........”
“So yeah, you guys caused a major economic depression and then caused the town to burn to the ground and collapse in on itself and be buried within a underground cave system, ya happy now?”
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
"What doesn't kill you makes you more likely to die."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Well, you say we never finish anything...
Hag: “What a shame…and I was hoping to…”have” you all for supper.”
(the party groans)
Hag: “Oh, cut me some slack; I live in a cave!”
(hag snaps fingers and shocks the nearest party member)
Hag: (begging for her life) “Wait! I can cure you of your curse!”
Warlock: (holding a great sword over her) “I’m listening.”
Hag: “Your curse slowly eats away at you…I can see that darkness creeping across your hands, so stained by violence. Spare my life; and I will remove this evil from you!”
Warlock: “…”
Hag: “…”
Warlock: “…you’re going to remove my hands, aren’t you?”
(the hag’s eyes frantically look left & right)
Hag: “…no?”
Warlock: “Thought so.”
(plunges sword through her chest)
Fifth level party of Ferrin (half elf wizard), Sister Serena (aasimar cleric), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), and Xanlar (half elf paladin) plus NPCs Phillip (human ranger) and "the kobold" (who's name we still haven't bothered learning after a dozen sessions).
Party is on our way to leave town when a large, armored minotaur steps out before us and points at Ferrin.
Minotaur: Are you Ferrin? I have bad news for you!
Serena: Seriously? *Straps on shield*
Minotaur: You got a problem, girl?
Serena: Uh, I hope not? Seriously, you just come out of nowhere looking all big and scary and yell at my friend about bad news. How do you expect us to react?
Minotaur: I'm a courier, and it's rough out here in these parts. *Points at Ferrin again* You Ferrin? You match the description I was given.
Ferrin: Maybe? What kind of message do you have that you say is bad news?
Minotaur: It's an envelope.
DM: The minotaur pulls a big envelope out of a satchel. Written on it in big letters are the words "BAD NEWS"
Ferrin: This had better not be drugs again.
***
The party is back in the swamp, heading to the fort they were driven from previously, planning to poison the water supply to make it vulnerable so they can rescue any prisoners being held there. Near their destination they are attacked by a dozen bullywugs. After a few rounds of combat, the fight is brought to an abrupt end as Ferrin casts a fireball that kills eight of the nine remaining bullywugs and Serena finishes the last one with a sacred flame.
DM: Okay, now the swamp smells like a French restaurant.
Shortly afterwards, a single Bullywug appears, adorned with feathers, ribbons, etc, jumping around and keeping his distance. Serena attempts to communicate via various gestures and rolls high on a performance check.
DM: Okay, Serena and this frogman are having an epic game of charades, and you get the idea that he doesn't think much of the ones you just killed and wants you to follow him.
As we get to the edge of the bullywug village, the kobold climbs up onto Xanlar's shoulders.
Xanlar: You can mount me any time, buddy. *Winks*
The kobold slowly climbs back down then runs over and climbs up onto Phillip's shoulders and the others hear him whispering.
Kobold: Uhhh, Xanlar's kind of a creep.
The party has a meeting with the bullywug chief, who deems them acceptable guests after tasting Serena's mace like a lollipop. We attempt to convince him that it would be in the tribe's interest to help us attack the fort because the Fravians [enemy nation] are bad neighbors. We're told we have to pass some trials if we want help with that. We take a short rest while the trials are being prepared.
Kobold: Uh, Xanlar. Nothing personal, some people might think you're good looking but my type is more scaly. And female.
Xanlar [forgetting about the previous bit]: Huh? What are you talking about?
Serena: You're getting let down easy by a kobold.
Still during the rest, a brief roleplayed counseling session between Serena and Phillip where she cheers him up despite all the unpleasant crap we've been going through lately (as a priestess she considers this part of her calling). It's worth noting that Serena is seventeen and Phillip only a year or two older.
Phillip: Wow, that really makes me feel a bit better. You're pretty impressive, Serena. It's a shame you're a priestess. Uh...*blushes and awkwardly shuffles away*
Serena [ooc]: Serena blushes hard, which is extremely visible on her super pale complexion, and decides to not mention that her order does not require celibacy.
Kobold: Uh, was that supposed to be-
Serena: Hush, you!
Kobold: But it seemed like-
Serena: Hush!
First trial is singing one of the tribe's holy hymns, which is a bunch of guttural croaking and moaning noises. Various noises are made and performance checks are rolled to succeed. Second trial is to duplicate a few bullywugs jumping and balancing on each other's shoulders while doing a goofy looking dance. The party's rolls are less than great (nobody has a particularly high dexterity score) and this takes a while to succeed. Serena recused herself because the trial requires only three people and she has a negative dex mod.
Serena [in Roll20 text chat]: Cirque du Soleil vs tumbling rodeo clowns!
DM switches the Discord music bot to Cirque du Soleil soundtrack.
***
Third trial is combat and the chief summons a froghemoth from a nearby pool of swamp. The DM reveals the big, tentacly monster token on the map.
Serena: Seriously? What is it with tentacle monsters this week?
Out of game, during downtime Private session
Rogue rolling investigation: "Why cant I roll this high in session?! 😭"
(He has a +5 investigation)
Me: Would it make you feel better if Jörmungandr gave you a hug?
(Jörmungandr is the name I gave my staff of the python)
"The words from your lips are word that lie, like a harsh winter night or a raven's cry. So if you want to live today, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!"
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
“It’s like golf, but with guns.”
”I would like to seduce the demon from hell.”
“You didn’t miss much… I learned how cambions were made, which was interesting. Also, does anyone know any babysitters around here? No reason.”
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
The last two must be related.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
All three.
I thought they might be, but the first is very random.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Oh the last two are for sure.
The first is just there.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
DM for: Wrath of Ashardalon, Aeterna, Fallen Angel’s Requiem
Characters: Eden Tealeaf, Human Fey Wanderer (retired), Charles Tristan Aurelius Esq., Half-Elf Profane Soul Blood Hunter (playing in Red Grave by Pag12)
Currently working on Kairon’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a homebrew compendium to simplify and spice up your game.
A reacurring joke from a group of campaigns: Hee Hee Pacifist Run
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Dream of Days Lore Bard 9/Wizard 4 Baulder's Gate: Descent to Avernus (In Person/Over Zoom)
Saleadon Morgul Battle Smith Artificer 11 Tyranny of Dragons (In Person/Over Zoom)
Hurtharn Serpti Ghostslayer Blood Hunter 7 Spelljammer (Over Zoom)
Ex Sig
Speaker: “I would imagine 10 gems worth 500 gold pieces each should suffice as payment?”
Warlock: “Hold up! I want some proper armor…this one ‘ere is basically taped on.”
Speaker: “Very well. I’ll take it out of your payment.”
Sorcerer: “And I want that bounty that’s out for me to be nullified!”
Speaker: “Already in progress.”
Rogue: “And I want one of those fur hats with the floppy ears on them…!”
(the Speaker raises their eyebrow, slides open a drawer beneath their desk, and rummages around for an old hat)
Speaker: “Will this do?”
Rogue: (snatches hat) “Tee-hee!”
Speaker: “Tell me what you know of this…devil cult.”
Warlock: “Well, they’re a bunch o’ lunatics, for starters. They’re leader thinks that the archdevil Levistus talks to him in his head, but he’s full of it.”
Speaker: “I see. That is…troubling.”
Rogue: (leans forward and gestures to the Warlock) “It’s actually HIM that has Levistus whispering in his head!”
(the Speakers eyes widen as the whole table just gawks at the Rogue who spilled the beans)
Speaker: “…dear gods.”
Sorcerer: “To be fair…we’re all hearing voices these days. It’s best just to roll with it.”
Speaker: (looking around the table) “It isn’t…contagious…is it?”
it is. it always is
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
Sadly no session this week, but something my DM. But during private session, training my staff of the python, Jörmungandr.
Me:"I just wanted an excuse to keep having my baby boy out more."
DM: "well dont necessarily have to put him back into staff form"
Me: "Ooo~ really??"
DM:"just as long as he doesnt hit 0 hp while in snake form"
Me:"TIA WILL CUDDLE WITH JÖRMUNGANDR!! XD"