So, one thread just got started, Funny D&D Stories, which is a fun read but it did prompt a thought by Cardinal_Fang:
Give us some of your completely out of context comments from a game! Whether your significant other never plays but overheard something weird, your friends are out to lunch and a recap made the server look at you like you're crazy, or you simply misheard something at the table yourself, share it with us! Feel free to give context if you feel it's helpful, or don't give context and make us wonder what's going on at your table.
I'll start this off:
Sitting at the local Applebees chatting about one of our last sessions the waitress walks up only to hear two of my lady players:
"I can't believe you got that to work, what made you think about a rat suppository?"
I love the look we got before the entire group of us broke into laughter.
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Something I said when running session 0: "We have a healerish"
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GM of The Bonus Role - We are playing a 5E game set in my homebrew world of Audra check us out Sunday's at 10 AM CST and follow us at the following social media links. https://www.twitch.tv/thebonusrole @BonusRole
My wife is much less into many of my hobbies and interests than I am, but does try to humor me often. She goes to MCU and other similarly themed movies with me, and has agreed to support me by playing in the game that I DM for (though that will be coming to an end shortly, she's not enough of a fan to deal with a new baby and D&D), among other things. I had considered putting part of the following story on the other post but felt it might not quite qualify as a funny story, but I do think it qualifies here.
While doing Cragmaw hideout from Lost Mine of Phandelver, the party had arrived at the location where Klarg the bugbear was located. I'm not sure which came first, but she had decided that she heard me say "bumblebee" instead of "bugbear" and in response to Klarg telling the party that they "made Klarg angry by killing my wolf", she replied with, "Why would Klarg care if we killed your wolf?" My friend replied with, "I think that the bugbear is Klarg" or something in that vein, which got a chuckle out of us. Two years later, I still refer to bugbears as bumblebees to her and she knows what I'm talking about.
One of players was assaulted out in the countryside and wanted to report this to the guards he said " I want to Describe the description to the guard " it made us laugh so much.
A newbie was in his first game with our veteran group. He describes his character as looking like Kevin Sorbo and he has a quiver on his back. Instantly another player said “I massage the quiver until it goes away”. Poor newbie never showed up again.
In one game, my DM had us up against some giant exploding goats, and we were having a hard time understanding the dimensions of these goats, so my DM equated it to a Zebra. What evolved from there is us using Zebras as a unit of measurement for the size of anything and coffee beans as a method of determining weight. You can imagine the hilarity when we are being chased through the Astral Plane by a huge ravenous monster and suddenly someone pipes up with, " About how many zebra's would you say it is?", or when the DM is describing something and says "It looks like it would weigh about 3 lbs of coffee beans."
The best part is, we have a player at the table who will actually sit and do the math based on the descriptions for us! Haha!
In one game, my DM had us up against some giant exploding goats, and we were having a hard time understanding the dimensions of these goats, so my DM equated it to a Zebra. What evolved from there is us using Zebras as a unit of measurement for the size of anything and coffee beans as a method of determining weight. You can imagine the hilarity when we are being chased through the Astral Plane by a huge ravenous monster and suddenly someone pipes up with, " About how many zebra's would you say it is?", or when the DM is describing something and says "It looks like it would weigh about 3 lbs of coffee beans."
The best part is, we have a player at the table who will actually sit and do the math based on the descriptions for us! Haha!
When the goats exploded, did they sound like “siss-boom-baa!”?
So, one thread just got started, Funny D&D Stories, which is a fun read but it did prompt a thought by Cardinal_Fang:
Give us some of your completely out of context comments from a game! Whether your significant other never plays but overheard something weird, your friends are out to lunch and a recap made the server look at you like you're crazy, or you simply misheard something at the table yourself, share it with us! Feel free to give context if you feel it's helpful, or don't give context and make us wonder what's going on at your table.
I'll start this off:
Sitting at the local Applebees chatting about one of our last sessions the waitress walks up only to hear two of my lady players:
"I can't believe you got that to work, what made you think about a rat suppository?"
I love the look we got before the entire group of us broke into laughter.
Transplanting mine from the other thread: "Are the flowers still laughing at us?".
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
Disclaimer: This signature is a badge of membership in the Forum Loudmouth Club. We are all friends. We are not attacking each other. We are engaging in spirited, friendly debate with one another. We may get snarky, but these are not attacks. Thank you for not reporting us.
Something I said when running session 0: "We have a healerish"
GM of The Bonus Role - We are playing a 5E game set in my homebrew world of Audra check us out Sunday's at 10 AM CST and follow us at the following social media links.
https://www.twitch.tv/thebonusrole
@BonusRole
Had a player mis-speak and threatened some Cult of the Dragon NPCs to “throw your head at my axe!” This was met with much laughter by the table.
"He barks like a chicken." Somehow this became the chosen euphemism for "dies" for that campaign.
From a con game late last year.
"I was distracted. I didn't expect the septic tank to talk back."
Rogue: "Let's synchronize watches."
Other PCs and NPC in unison: "What are watches?"
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
My wife is much less into many of my hobbies and interests than I am, but does try to humor me often. She goes to MCU and other similarly themed movies with me, and has agreed to support me by playing in the game that I DM for (though that will be coming to an end shortly, she's not enough of a fan to deal with a new baby and D&D), among other things. I had considered putting part of the following story on the other post but felt it might not quite qualify as a funny story, but I do think it qualifies here.
While doing Cragmaw hideout from Lost Mine of Phandelver, the party had arrived at the location where Klarg the bugbear was located. I'm not sure which came first, but she had decided that she heard me say "bumblebee" instead of "bugbear" and in response to Klarg telling the party that they "made Klarg angry by killing my wolf", she replied with, "Why would Klarg care if we killed your wolf?" My friend replied with, "I think that the bugbear is Klarg" or something in that vein, which got a chuckle out of us. Two years later, I still refer to bugbears as bumblebees to her and she knows what I'm talking about.
Well during my game the wood elf said he was going too teach a baby dragon elvish curse words.
Current game- Pelegos: Singularity
Game world- Thad'thra, homebrew
Role- DM
Players- Maro: Light Cleric, Rivqah: Feind Warlock, Kortek: Artillerist Artificer
Plot: Uncover a conspiracy and truth behind the Dragon, Blasphemy, and the light of the kingdom that was stollen. Drenching Baranara into shadow.
"It's just an undead baby."
One of players was assaulted out in the countryside and wanted to report this to the guards he said " I want to Describe the description to the guard " it made us laugh so much.
A newbie was in his first game with our veteran group. He describes his character as looking like Kevin Sorbo and he has a quiver on his back. Instantly another player said “I massage the quiver until it goes away”. Poor newbie never showed up again.
In one game, my DM had us up against some giant exploding goats, and we were having a hard time understanding the dimensions of these goats, so my DM equated it to a Zebra. What evolved from there is us using Zebras as a unit of measurement for the size of anything and coffee beans as a method of determining weight. You can imagine the hilarity when we are being chased through the Astral Plane by a huge ravenous monster and suddenly someone pipes up with, " About how many zebra's would you say it is?", or when the DM is describing something and says "It looks like it would weigh about 3 lbs of coffee beans."
The best part is, we have a player at the table who will actually sit and do the math based on the descriptions for us! Haha!
When the goats exploded, did they sound like “siss-boom-baa!”?
I was using the homebrew item "A fine mustache" and my player was getting frustrated and yelled out "I insight the mustache!"
DM of Amnian Nights: The Blackmore Saga
Homebrew Listings: A Fine Mustache (Magic Item), Icicle (magic item), Malice (magic item), Restore Undead (spell), Hex Bolt (spell), Healing Salve (consumable)