Hello here, so - I recently thought of making some more spells which I wasn't really sure of if it was a good idea or not, but after some thinking, I came up with this:
Hope it looks good or not, and to see if it'd be a viable spell to work-around on games, as well as any feedback that could be given - any info about this would be nice to have!
P.D.: May make new spells and edit/add them on this thread.
The use of radiant damage then combined with what seems to be an enchantment effect makes this a very weird spell.
If the effect that keeps them in is a "barrier" - this should be Evocation and the barrier should be described as such. The saving throw should be physical - likely dex with those succeeding being granted option to use a reaction to move up to their movement until they are outside of the area of effect.
If the effect that keeps them in is a mental - this should be Enchantment. Although the use of radiant is weird for this - psychic would be a better fit.
Nothing about this spell is "protective" - it shouldn't be abjuration.
Should be higher level as you're doing decent damage and combining a strong AoE movement restriction effect. Normally such effects come from Wall spells and often higher level even without damage.
Other issues:
"You hurl..." "on a hit" -- There is no "hurl" action in D&D. You should specify if this is an attack and whether the attack can be made against a creature, object, etc. Consider instead: "You hurl a blinding hail of rays towards a creature; make a spell attack against the target. On a hit, you deal 4d6 radiant damage."
"blinding hail of rays" - implies this sets the Blinded condition. I'd drop the "blinding" part.
"Regardless of if you hit or not" - should be "Regardless of whether you hit or not" . It doesn't make sense how you have it.
"all creatures on a 20 ft. radius sphere from the target" - Should be "all creatures in a 20 ft. radius sphere centred on the target".
"make a Wisdom saving throw" - Should add "must", as in "must make a Wisdom saving throw".
"On a fail, they become unable to move away from the area of the spell. " -- Should be "move out from" not away from.
Also, the material component is just.. There is no such thing as "a shinto". Shinto is the name of a religion in Japan. You may have meant "Shinto shrine" but those are very big things. Perhaps you should have put a "miniature wood carving in the form of a Shinto shrine". Thing is: Shinto doesn't exist in D&D and homebrew that is published should be setting agnostic or set in an official D&D setting (that's actually part of the rules). This means you cannot make assumptions about the world having certain religions or cultures like Shinto which doesn't exist in any official D&D setting. It also doesn't make any sense why a Shinto shrine replica would be required for a spell that has nothing to do with the Shinto religion in any way.
I like the basic idea of it. Kinda like a Swords of Revealing Light theme from Yu-Gi-Oh. But this implementation is messy.
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond. Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ thisFAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.
The use of radiant damage then combined with what seems to be an enchantment effect makes this a very weird spell.
If the effect that keeps them in is a "barrier" - this should be Evocation and the barrier should be described as such. The saving throw should be physical - likely dex with those succeeding being granted option to use a reaction to move up to their movement until they are outside of the area of effect.
If the effect that keeps them in is a mental - this should be Enchantment. Although the use of radiant is weird for this - psychic would be a better fit.
Nothing about this spell is "protective" - it shouldn't be abjuration.
Should be higher level as you're doing decent damage and combining a strong AoE movement restriction effect. Normally such effects come from Wall spells and often higher level even without damage.
Other issues:
"You hurl..." "on a hit" -- There is no "hurl" action in D&D. You should specify if this is an attack and whether the attack can be made against a creature, object, etc. Consider instead: "You hurl a blinding hail of rays towards a creature; make a spell attack against the target. On a hit, you deal 4d6 radiant damage."
"blinding hail of rays" - implies this sets the Blinded condition. I'd drop the "blinding" part.
"Regardless of if you hit or not" - should be "Regardless of whether you hit or not" . It doesn't make sense how you have it.
"all creatures on a 20 ft. radius sphere from the target" - Should be "all creatures in a 20 ft. radius sphere centred on the target".
"make a Wisdom saving throw" - Should add "must", as in "must make a Wisdom saving throw".
"On a fail, they become unable to move away from the area of the spell. " -- Should be "move out from" not away from.
Also, the material component is just.. There is no such thing as "a shinto". Shinto is the name of a religion in Japan. You may have meant "Shinto shrine" but those are very big things. Perhaps you should have put a "miniature wood carving in the form of a Shinto shrine". Thing is: Shinto doesn't exist in D&D and homebrew that is published should be setting agnostic or set in an official D&D setting (that's actually part of the rules). This means you cannot make assumptions about the world having certain religions or cultures like Shinto which doesn't exist in any official D&D setting. It also doesn't make any sense why a Shinto shrine replica would be required for a spell that has nothing to do with the Shinto religion in any way.
I like the basic idea of it. Kinda like a Swords of Revealing Light theme from Yu-Gi-Oh. But this implementation is messy.
Though part of it was a mistake on my side, the idea on the Material side was a Shide, instead of a Shinto (but I kind of just ate the oversight). Fixed the general issues on syntax and took the Enchantment side of the suggestion - as it's intended as more of a mental barrier than one physical (which could be simply misty step'd over, or similar) - but at the same time, wanted to give a spell with Radiant damage at lv3 for wizards (maybe for other spellcasters, but unsure) that weren't Cleric/Paladins.
Updating the spell's link, as well as adding extra ones.
Hello here, so - I recently thought of making some more spells which I wasn't really sure of if it was a good idea or not, but after some thinking, I came up with this:
Mirue's Sealing Circle
Kasuya's Misplacement
Gimlein's Rainbow Flurry
Hope it looks good or not, and to see if it'd be a viable spell to work-around on games, as well as any feedback that could be given - any info about this would be nice to have!
P.D.: May make new spells and edit/add them on this thread.
My Homebrew Spells: Nichuro's Spellcasters Association
The use of radiant damage then combined with what seems to be an enchantment effect makes this a very weird spell.
If the effect that keeps them in is a "barrier" - this should be Evocation and the barrier should be described as such. The saving throw should be physical - likely dex with those succeeding being granted option to use a reaction to move up to their movement until they are outside of the area of effect.
If the effect that keeps them in is a mental - this should be Enchantment. Although the use of radiant is weird for this - psychic would be a better fit.
Nothing about this spell is "protective" - it shouldn't be abjuration.
Should be higher level as you're doing decent damage and combining a strong AoE movement restriction effect. Normally such effects come from Wall spells and often higher level even without damage.
Other issues:
"You hurl..." "on a hit" -- There is no "hurl" action in D&D. You should specify if this is an attack and whether the attack can be made against a creature, object, etc. Consider instead: "You hurl a blinding hail of rays towards a creature; make a spell attack against the target. On a hit, you deal 4d6 radiant damage."
"blinding hail of rays" - implies this sets the Blinded condition. I'd drop the "blinding" part.
"Regardless of if you hit or not" - should be "Regardless of whether you hit or not" . It doesn't make sense how you have it.
"all creatures on a 20 ft. radius sphere from the target" - Should be "all creatures in a 20 ft. radius sphere centred on the target".
"make a Wisdom saving throw" - Should add "must", as in "must make a Wisdom saving throw".
"On a fail, they become unable to move away from the area of the spell. " -- Should be "move out from" not away from.
Also, the material component is just.. There is no such thing as "a shinto". Shinto is the name of a religion in Japan. You may have meant "Shinto shrine" but those are very big things. Perhaps you should have put a "miniature wood carving in the form of a Shinto shrine". Thing is: Shinto doesn't exist in D&D and homebrew that is published should be setting agnostic or set in an official D&D setting (that's actually part of the rules). This means you cannot make assumptions about the world having certain religions or cultures like Shinto which doesn't exist in any official D&D setting. It also doesn't make any sense why a Shinto shrine replica would be required for a spell that has nothing to do with the Shinto religion in any way.
I like the basic idea of it. Kinda like a Swords of Revealing Light theme from Yu-Gi-Oh. But this implementation is messy.
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond.
Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ this FAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.
Though part of it was a mistake on my side, the idea on the Material side was a Shide, instead of a Shinto (but I kind of just ate the oversight). Fixed the general issues on syntax and took the Enchantment side of the suggestion - as it's intended as more of a mental barrier than one physical (which could be simply misty step'd over, or similar) - but at the same time, wanted to give a spell with Radiant damage at lv3 for wizards (maybe for other spellcasters, but unsure) that weren't Cleric/Paladins.
Updating the spell's link, as well as adding extra ones.
My Homebrew Spells: Nichuro's Spellcasters Association