Seldom Spring

Plan schematic:

After a final few clarifications, everyone gets into position. Maldorn crouches down, his hammer ready. The hunter looks around at everyone to make sure it's time, and when no one gives him any indication they need more time, he begins hammering. The clang, clang, clang echoes brightly off the stone walls of the cave. As soon as the hammering begins, Erric creates an illusion of a large boulder blocking the opening on the other side of Maldorn.

DM rollz: 7, 10

It only takes a few seconds for Maldorn to hammer the pin into the floor. As he finishes, he isn't sure if it's the sound of his heartbeat in his ears, but he thinks he hears a pounding noise growing steadily louder. The old man gets to his feet and runs back toward the entrance, slipping between Thrakk and Ebokk. A bellow which is part growl sounds from just inside the tunnel, striking fear in everyone. Almost immediately after, a mountain of a beast comes flying through Erric's illusion. The ogre steps right beside the trap, stepping over it in its run, and then skids to a stop 10 feet into the cave. It looks around with wide, angry eyes. After spotting the small cluster of intruders directly south, it stomps their way, raising a thick club and bellowing again. Keeping his whits about him, Erric releases a magical taunt at the creature. (DC13: 5) He feels the magic bounce off the creature's mind, doing no harm.

Updated map:

All players may go!

(OOC: Ah fudge... days preparing this plan and it is already derailing!)

Maldorn quickly draws his bow and arrow, dropping his hammer on the ground, and shoots at the creature:

-> Longbow vs. Ogre: Attack: 11 Damage: 6 piercing.

As he prepares his next shot, he moves backward a bit (to D8).

Erric casts tasha’s hideous laughter as soon as he can, WIS 13 saving throw and on failure, ogre falls prone and sees everything as hilarious, and gets to take another saving throw every turn and every time it takes damage. He tells a bawdy fart joke (use your imagination, sorry!).

For his bonus action, he expends one of his bardic inspirations to use mantle of inspiration. He looks at Maldorn who seems to be where he wants to be, and safe. He looks at the three people the magic allows him to help: Ebokk, Anafrey, and Jambiya. Thrakk looks tough. The three friends get 5 temporary hp and can immediately use their reaction to move their movement without eliciting an attack of opportunity.

Jambiya stays right where she is, the ogre is so huge! She blasts a beam of white and green energy at it!

Move: None
Action: Cast Eldritch Blast at the ogre! 20 to hit, for 9 magical force damage
Bonus Action: No game effect, but she moves the dancing light to C4 in an attempt to confuse the ogre.

Notes: The dancing light is concentration, for one minute... I will assume she re-upped it before Maldorn set the trap, so that give her roughly this round and 7 more of duration. Or Concentration.

Anafrey will curse under her breath and since her flail is not being helpful will let loose an arrow from her shortbow towards the large creature. 

Attack: 16 Damage: 7

Anafrey can move anywhere around, away from, right past, or next to the ogre as her reaction this round, without any threat from an attack of opportunity, just to be clear! Jambiya too :)

OOC > Bout the reaction move, I saw that, but Jambiya is of the mind that staying hidden behind Ebokk and Thrakk is better than scooting past the ogre and having him decide to chase her next round.

As the creature stomps toward him, Ebokk lets out a low moan and brings up his shield defensively, but stands his ground.

Erric begins readying another spell, but waits until all of the attacks he can see being prepared happen.

Maldorn quickly fires a shot. He curses himself as soon as the arrow leaves his bow, not liking his rapid aim, but then he remembers that ogres are big and not too fast, and watches as the arrow catches the creature in the upper arm. (9 damage) Appreciating his luck, the hunter backs up five feet.

At the same time, Jambiya releases a blast of green white energy, which hits the creature in the thigh. (9 damage, 18 total) Shadows swing as the little goblin girl commands her single glowing orb to fly in front of the creature's face.

A second arrow flies from a growling Anafrey, cutting a gash in the side of the ogre's thick neck. (7 damage, 25 total)

Thrakk swings his war pick at the ogre as it comes into range. (war pick attack: 7, damage: 11 piercing damage) Jambiya's globe seems to mesmerize the orc, and his swing is wide, missing the ogre completely.

Still bellowing, the ogre brings his huge club down on Ebokk. (greatclub attack: 17, damage: 14 bludgeoning damage — Wow! Thank goodness for disadvantage — fumble roll: 2) Despite his look of being paralyzed, Ebokk sidesteps the club, and the weapon slams into the ground beside the dwarf.

WIS save DC13: 16 — Forgot about Erric's spell.

As soon as Thrakk's attack misses, Erric releases his spell. "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap." The ogre stops bellowing, turns to look at Erric, then slowly begins to laugh. The strange, almost grotesque noise speeds up until the creature has dropped its club, fallen on the floor, and is rolling around on its back, holding its prodigious stomach and laughing hysterically.

Ogre's turn WIS save DC13: 17 — still prone and incapacitated

Players, go!

Erric says, “it’s funny now but won’t be funny once it snaps out of this. Either we all circle round and ready blows to end this quickly, knock it out, or we try restraining it if we think we can interrogate it.”

He tries to judge whether there would ever be enough rope among the party to tie up something that large...

OOC > Nice going with the spell! Wow. So ogre is prone, so melee attacks at advantage, ranged attacks at disadvantage, right?

Jambiya, not being terrifically brave, shoots another beam of energy at the ogre where it rolls on the ground.

Action: Shoot ogre with Eldritch blast. 13 to hit, for 7 magical force damage

(OOC: That was a good fart joke! Also, Maldorn's arrow should have dealt 9 damage, not 12).

"Not my best shot, but it counts..." Noticing the bard's successful trick, Maldorn asks: "Erric, how long does this trick last? Should I keep shooting?"

Action: Ready an longbow shot if Erric gives Maldorn the green light: -> Longbow vs. Ogre: Attack: 10 Damage: 7 piercing.

-> Here's another attack roll to account for disadvantage if the ogre is prone: 14

-> Fumble roll: 17 -> random target -> Attack: 26 Damage: 10 piercing.

@DDP: I don't know how many targets would be available for this fumble attack, so I won't roll to see who Maldorn is actually shooting.

Maldorn your e-dice are cursed!! And that truly was an excellent fart joke. You put me to shame.

Erric sees the battle going the way it is going and gives Maldorn a sheepish pretend-order in the form of a thumbs up. He pulls out his rapier and dagger and darts forward, slashing with both blades, hoping this isn’t a terrible idea.

Rapier Attack: 21 Damage: 9

Offhand bonus dagger Attack: 20 Damage: 2

He then darts away, hopefully out of reach

(This mainly happens because he feels guilty that Ebokk and Jambiya are still in harms way, and also he didn’t really think through what to do after the spell works.)

Seeing the downed Ogre, Anafrey would drop her shortbow and rush towards the creature as she pulls the flail from her belt. With clenched teeth she would swing down hard at the laughing ogre with her flail. A small smile forms as she brings the weapon down towards the head of the creature. As she begins to swing the weapon she finds it hard to stop as she drives it down towards the creature once more.

Attack: 7 Damage: 3
Attack: 10 Damage: 7

(ooc used action surge)

OOC: Thank you for checking my math (or number recognition, as the case may be). That's one of the reasons I've decided to let my record keeping be more public.

Jambiya aims another blast of green white energy at the laughing ogre. The blast hits it, and the laughter stops abruptly. (9 damage, 34 total)

Maldorn's question needs no verbalized answer. As the ogre stops laughing, he again quickly aims, finding it very hard to shoot through the multiple people between him and the prone form of the giant. (What's funny about this is all of you are within 30 feet of the ogre. Through the power of DDB, I can actually roll a d7: 4.) Maldorn's arrow flies too far to the left and is about to land in Ebokk's butt when the dwarf inexplicably moves his shield arm so that his shield faces backward. The arrow ricochets off the shield and lands in Jambiya's upper thigh. (6 damage, -5 temp, 17 left)

Not aware of his hand in Jambiya's injury, Ebokk brings his hammer down on the ogre. (warhammer attack: 12, damage: 6 bludgeoning damage) (6 damage, 40 total)

Thrakk again tries to hit the creature with his war pick. (war pick attack: 11, damage: 8 piercing damage) The attack barely hits. (8 damage, 48 total)

Anafrey drops her bow and draws her strange weapon, stepping forward and attempting to hit the ogre. She swings ferociously, and both attempts succeed. (10 damage, 58 total — LOL)

Joining in, Erric moves to stand with everyone, drawing his rapier and dagger. Lunging forward at the creature as it begins to sit up, his blade enters the side of the creature's neck, exiting the other side. It jerks away, freeing his sword, but a torrent of blood begins to spew from both sides of the ogre's thick neck. It clamps its hands to the sides of its neck, but the blood runs between its dirty fingers. It roars, but can't get up. It roars again, but the sound is lessening. It falls on its side and lifts an arm toward the party. Its eyes plead silently as its life drains away. Finally it is still.

"Is it ... dead?" Ebokk asks tentatively.

Thrakk steps forward and kicks the ogre's arm. Satisfied at its demise, the orc looks at the party with a satisfied smile. "Mighty warriors you are."

Erric looks guiltily at the ogre as it dies. Then at his friends. Then at Thrakk, eyebrows furrowed. "When did the ogre come here? Why?"

His rapier is dripping with blood, and he faces the orc. He thinks there's more to the story.

Jambiya is hopping in place, grimacing Where the arrow just sliced her thigh. “That smarts!” She closes her eyes a moment hums a little low noise, and then opens them again. “There, that’s better.”

Jambiya cast False Life on herself for 7 temp hit points.

"Jambiya... My apologies. My arrow deflected into your path, but it was a bad shot to begin with. A rushed one. A thousand apologies, little one." Still holding his apologetic facial expression, the ranger asks: "Could.. do you think...  Could I maybe have that arrow back?"

-> Recouping 1 out of 2 arrows shot.

Anafrey would wipe the blood from her flail and move to pick up her short bow. "Well... I hope we can find what we are after now without anymore incidents."

Jambiya smiles at Maldorn. "Oh, don't think on it. The number of times Daddy Pops sliced Grumpy Pops, or Grumpy Pops whacked Daddy Pops makes it seem like it's not that unusual. Here," and she hands him back his arrow.

"Should we go see what was in the ogre's lair?" she asks, skipping ahead. As she goes, she calls up the other three dancing lights to make more light, and sends them ahead of her down the ogre's tunnel.

“Aye. Let us see what bounty this fetid monster amassed?”