Anyone want to return to large-scale intergalactic battle?
I throw a pebble into your exhaust port using a slingshot that I stole from some amicable-seeming birds. All of your stuff explodes.
However, the birds secretly were dud-slingshot dealers, and were disappointed to see their work go but happy to see more discord spreading. The band on your slingshot breaks as you try and shoot, and the pebble falls to the ground.
I turn away…or that’s what you think. I follow the energy residue of a space-habitant, planet-eating monster. Once I arrive at its habitat, where it’s currently sleeping, I shoot it with all my little ship’s firepower. Then, being more nimble than it, I return, getting it to chase me. Landing on your planet, I subsequently fly low and leave off the other side of the planet while it devours yet another meal.
I tell the monster it isn't like itself when it's hungry, and I offer it a Snickers (and the birds from earlier). This calms it down and makes it become capable of rational speech and thought. I then inform it of the scientific concepts of energy and why it wants to eat planets (because they're high in that energy), then inform it that your ship has enough energy to feed it for a month at minimum, and your fleets can sustain it for life if rationed properly.
We craft a real slingshot, then fire the monster from it at such speeds that you don't even notice its arrival before it's already infiltrated your defenses. In the chaos, we send more soldiers and also some shape shifting aliens to infiltrate your ranks and make Among Us jokes.
Luckily, we have extra-super-awesome planet-eating monster defenses. The monster is atomized as it tries to hit the ship.
However, your soldiers infiltrate us, polluting the ship with Among Us jokes. Realizing this isn’t a place to stay, I use my single-use teleportation gadget, teleporting me to a nearby planet. I then sacrifice my troops to the Space Gods, destroying my ship with a super-fast missile. Using my ship insurance, I buy a new ship and hire troops, then return to the battlefield.
A soldier sacrifices himself for the cause by jumping in front of your ship so that we get the insurance money-- I mean, uh, it was a total accident, the light was red man. We sue you into oblivion and make you lose your ship license, then use the money to buy some muffins. We then use those as an offering-- the muffin man WILL join our cause.
The muffin man will never join your cause! Buying a ship with money I totally didn’t steal from those orphans I mean what crazy no way, I adorn it in your regalia and then attack the muffin man’s planet. Then, using another ship bought legally (maybe 10%), I destroy the first one, bringing a shipload of muffins for the muffin man, as well as the promise of an alliance.
the muffin man just wants to eat his muffins in peace and begs you to stop trying to get him on your side
I understand the muffin man's preferences, so I leave him alone after giving him a brain chip that will mentally flash my number whenever I'm on even the edge of his consciousness. (A card could be lost too easily)
Now, back to the matter at hand. (Wes's post)
You get pulled over by an intergalactic officer while driving your ship, who is actually just one fragment of me that's working to make some money on the side. Once I see you still don't have a license, you get thrown into jail and now must win in court or be imprisoned for 7 or 8 months.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
Since Thanksgiving is almost here, our defense and offense has been heavily boosted. We can enjoy it in peace, although there's not really anything we can do once it's over so be prepared.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
Yes... Keep fueling the potato farms. The potatoes stretch on for miles of farmland, and some of them are shaped like hyper-dodecahedrons but it's ok.
Hehaheahea
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hello! Call me GAYto or Gato (Cat in Spanish) My pronouns are They/them I am a teenager. I have ADHD, Depression, and anxiety. I'm also Genderfluid, Pansexual, Aromantic, Trans, and Asexual, but this community means the world to me; you cannot change that about me ALL HAIL O_MERLIN_O. 4D8 ATTEMPT:[roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] = [roll][roll:-4]+[roll:-3]+[roll:-2]+[roll:-1][/roll] I have adopted Golden, Salem, and Aspen; they are my D&D children.
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I understand the muffin man's preferences, so I leave him alone after giving him a brain chip that will mentally flash my number whenever I'm on even the edge of his consciousness. (A card could be lost too easily)
Now, back to the matter at hand. (Wes's post)
You get pulled over by an intergalactic officer while driving your ship, who is actually just one fragment of me that's working to make some money on the side. Once I see you still don't have a license, you get thrown into jail and now must win in court or be imprisoned for 7 or 8 months.
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
Yes... Keep fueling the potato farms. The potatoes stretch on for miles of farmland, and some of them are shaped like hyper-dodecahedrons but it's ok.
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
Since Thanksgiving is almost here, our defense and offense has been heavily boosted. We can enjoy it in peace, although there's not really anything we can do once it's over so be prepared.
Hello! I am a perfectly sane gibberer. Hi! :D
Locations are dead, the Temple of Potassium has fallen but its ideals live on
A mysterious link of chain... (Extended signature). PRAISE JEFF THE EVIL ROOMBA! REALLY cool video.
One of the Warlock Patrons on the forums. Low, low price of your soul, firstborn child and liver!
Titles: The Echoing Story Spewer (Drummer), the Endless Maws (Isis), the Mad Murderer (PJ), more on my extended sig
Hehaheahea
Hello! Call me GAYto or Gato (Cat in Spanish)
My pronouns are They/them
I am a teenager. I have ADHD, Depression, and anxiety. I'm also Genderfluid, Pansexual, Aromantic, Trans, and Asexual,
but this community means the world to me; you cannot change that about me
ALL HAIL O_MERLIN_O. 4D8 ATTEMPT:[roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] + [roll]1d8[/roll] = [roll][roll:-4]+[roll:-3]+[roll:-2]+[roll:-1][/roll]
I have adopted Golden, Salem, and Aspen; they are my D&D children.