Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1: Spelljammer Creatures
Frozen Sick
D&D Beyond Basic Rules
Basic Rules (2014)
Sign in to view your library & saved favorites.
Sign in- Marketplace
Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1: Spelljammer CreaturesFrozen SickD&D Beyond Basic RulesBasic Rules (2014)Sign in to view your library & saved favorites.
Sign in
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant holds his trunk to his ear as if it is a phone and says, "Hello." in a mock elderly voice. You hear it from your phone.
'Oh, hello there elephant'
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slaps his trunk down on the table as if he was slamming down a phone. Then you hear your real grandma get on.
'Um, hi Grandma? It's me, Jimmy. How are you?'
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
The elephant listens intently to your phone call.
Jim Cato is reasonably nice to his grandma, considering how he's the embodiment of evil.
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
The elephant seems to enjoy listening to Cato be a different person to his grandma.
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
'Funny, isn't it. I like this side of me'
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
"But you said you were the embodiment of evil. How can you do something good if that is so?"
'It's not good. Just, enjoyable. Thinking of what could have been'
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
“Do it.” He seems very somber.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
"You did something good though and you didn't cease to exist. You even enjoyed it. Maybe if you become insane you won't cease to exist just because you think you are the embodiment of logic." Then he grins, "But what do I know? I am just a pachyderm bubble!"
'I did not do something good. I merely called my grandmother. Psychotic killers can still call their grandmothers'
You guys are awesome and mean so much to me. And mean so much to each other.
He stops for a second and it looks like he might. Then he leans back, "Nope! That would spoil the fun. Why are you so upset by the third eye?"