Attacking a ogre with tasha’s hideous laughter on it: “What’s so funny? Is it the slapstick?” [makes quarterstaff attack] “Anyway, enough of that, let’s get to the punchline.” [unarmed strike]
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RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus] Waffles!
”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Character 1 (to her adoptive son): "I'm not letting you go alone with [Character 2]. I'll come with you." Character 2: "What is wrong with me, [Character 1]? I'm not going to hurt him." Character 1: "I know, but you have a tendency to get into trouble." Character 2: "I am a person, [Character 1]. Could you treat me like one?" Character 1: "I am treating you like a person. Just an irresponsible person."
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Character 1 (to her adoptive son): "I'm not letting you go alone with [Character 2]. I'll come with you." Character 2: "What is wrong with me, [Character 1]? I'm not going to hurt him." Character 1: "I know, but you have a tendency to get into trouble." Character 2: "I am a person, [Character 1]. Could you treat me like one?" Character 1: "I am treating you like a person. Just an irresponsible person."
This is after summoning a troll, a kraken, the Tarrasque, and a guy with a hot dog stand using various foods(A pickle, sushi, a potato, and an apple).
AM Sorcerer: Nice! I'm next!
So she's about to use herself as the material component to a summoning spell with no idea what it will summon. The sorcerer has also gotten people to activate a machine that ended up turning her into a rabbit.
This is after summoning a troll, a kraken, the Tarrasque, and a guy with a hot dog stand using various foods(A pickle, sushi, a potato, and an apple).
AM Sorcerer: Nice! I'm next!
So she's about to use herself as the material component to a summoning spell with no idea what it will summon. The sorcerer has also gotten people to activate a machine that ended up turning her into a rabbit.
I was hooked the moment you mentioned the Tarrasque.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
From a Twitter thread started by OboeLauren about PCs who might decide to just stay at a spa:
Roll for prune-skin. You, too, dragonborn and tortle.
The acupuncture specialist crits. You'll take 2d4 piercing for each pin. *rolls d100 for number of pins*
No. Elves are not immune to non-magical, soothing, relaxing, massaging sleep.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
DM: There's an extravagant table in front of you, filled with delicious smelling food and-
Player 1: I EAT ALL THE GRAPES
Player 2: I sit on the biggest chair in the room to establish dominance
Player 3: I throw grapes at [Player 1] and crawl under the nearest chair
DM: *sigh*
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— δ cyno • he/him • number one paladin fanδ — making a smoothie for meta ——————| EXTENDED SIG |—————— Φ • redpelt’s biggest fan :) DM, minmaxer, microbiology student, and lover of anything colored red • Φ
A bit of context to have this make sense (it still doesn't make sense):
In our most recent session in an Eberron campaign, the party was being sent into the Mournland by House Kundarak to retrieve some money from a highly-protected vault for the dwarven dragonmarked house. It took them a long time (both in-game and in-real life) for them to survive the hazards of the Mournland and disable all the traps within the vault (while nearly having a TPK only 3 times, with just one party-member casualty). Once they enter the vault and see the stacks of cash, I describe that it takes them 4 days of hard labor to just move all of the gold and platinum pieces and bags of gemstones into the 10 bags of holding that were sent with them (with 9 of them being filled up). Both players stare at me and start discussing how much money that is (it's around 1,000,000 gold pieces, which they'll get 10% of). One of the players then realizes that they'll get 1,000,000 gold pieces and says:
"We could buy, like, a cow with that!"
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Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
I thought me rolling 3 sets of 4 ones during abilities scores was bad, but look up NPC D&D 42 on YouTube and watch up to 18 minutes.
There's nothing so amazing and sad in equal measure.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player: "My character is a Grung Bard who--" DM: "--whose name is Kermit." Player: "... ... Maybe?" DM: *hands player a blank character sheet* "Here, before you start singing Rainbow Connection."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Character explaining how he got from Faerun to my homebrew world: “Well, I had some dealings with this old hag, and I think she did something, but I couldn’t tell what. When I left...”
DM: “You abandoned your wife?”
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I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
From earlier today:
"That's not a beholderkin, that's a basketball."
Attacking a ogre with tasha’s hideous laughter on it: “What’s so funny? Is it the slapstick?” [makes quarterstaff attack] “Anyway, enough of that, let’s get to the punchline.” [unarmed strike]
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Here's one from an RP thread:
Character 1 (to her adoptive son): "I'm not letting you go alone with [Character 2]. I'll come with you."
Character 2: "What is wrong with me, [Character 1]? I'm not going to hurt him."
Character 1: "I know, but you have a tendency to get into trouble."
Character 2: "I am a person, [Character 1]. Could you treat me like one?"
Character 1: "I am treating you like a person. Just an irresponsible person."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Adopted son is a red dragon.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
I had a pretty weird session so I'll try to get it all down:
"An enemy stand user!"
"Roll to shoot southern preacher"
"Roll to shoot Gohan"
"I'll take 'Aberrations' for 200, Alex"
"One, Singular Sensation!"
"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!"
"I shoot green flame out of my snout."
"The Draconic rapper kicks his feet up on the table and laughs heartily."
"A big, Neon sign says 'High Security Prison' and points upwards."
"I'm like a OP Druid."
"I've got 99 problems, and this wacky job is every one of 'em."
"PIGS IN SPACE!"
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
This is after summoning a troll, a kraken, the Tarrasque, and a guy with a hot dog stand using various foods(A pickle, sushi, a potato, and an apple).
AM Sorcerer: Nice! I'm next!
So she's about to use herself as the material component to a summoning spell with no idea what it will summon. The sorcerer has also gotten people to activate a machine that ended up turning her into a rabbit.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
I was hooked the moment you mentioned the Tarrasque.
"I think I might be breaking up this campaign, sorry that it's ending."
haha my Dm is great, he's so funny hahaha he always makes such silly jokes haha funniest quote ever
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
From a Twitter thread started by OboeLauren about PCs who might decide to just stay at a spa:
Roll for prune-skin. You, too, dragonborn and tortle.
The acupuncture specialist crits. You'll take 2d4 piercing for each pin. *rolls d100 for number of pins*
No. Elves are not immune to non-magical, soothing, relaxing, massaging sleep.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Can I try pick pocketing the dwarves, Oh wait... I'm unconcious."
Sorry for bad spelling
"Take your father's arrow, you son of a longbow!"
Shoots with longbow.
"What? Medieval settings don't have guns."
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
DM: There's an extravagant table in front of you, filled with delicious smelling food and-
Player 1: I EAT ALL THE GRAPES
Player 2: I sit on the biggest chair in the room to establish dominance
Player 3: I throw grapes at [Player 1] and crawl under the nearest chair
DM: *sigh*
— δ cyno • he/him • number one paladin fan δ —
making a smoothie for meta
——————| EXTENDED SIG |——————
Φ • redpelt’s biggest fan :) DM, minmaxer, microbiology student, and lover of anything colored red • Φ
A bit of context to have this make sense (it still doesn't make sense):
In our most recent session in an Eberron campaign, the party was being sent into the Mournland by House Kundarak to retrieve some money from a highly-protected vault for the dwarven dragonmarked house. It took them a long time (both in-game and in-real life) for them to survive the hazards of the Mournland and disable all the traps within the vault (while nearly having a TPK only 3 times, with just one party-member casualty). Once they enter the vault and see the stacks of cash, I describe that it takes them 4 days of hard labor to just move all of the gold and platinum pieces and bags of gemstones into the 10 bags of holding that were sent with them (with 9 of them being filled up). Both players stare at me and start discussing how much money that is (it's around 1,000,000 gold pieces, which they'll get 10% of). One of the players then realizes that they'll get 1,000,000 gold pieces and says:
"We could buy, like, a cow with that!"
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
I can't even...
I thought me rolling 3 sets of 4 ones during abilities scores was bad, but look up NPC D&D 42 on YouTube and watch up to 18 minutes.
There's nothing so amazing and sad in equal measure.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Me: "I'm just going to say this now, unless I nat 1 this athletics roll, I won't fall to my death"
Everyone Else: "You've jinxed it!"
*procceds to roll an 18*
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
Player: "My character is a Grung Bard who--"
DM: "--whose name is Kermit."
Player: "... ... Maybe?"
DM: *hands player a blank character sheet* "Here, before you start singing Rainbow Connection."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Character 1: [Character 2], do you have any way to ward our telepathic conversation?
Character 3: Not against me. I'm very bad at holding on to eaves.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
Character explaining how he got from Faerun to my homebrew world: “Well, I had some dealings with this old hag, and I think she did something, but I couldn’t tell what. When I left...”
DM: “You abandoned your wife?”
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
BBEG's kitchen staff: Why were you in the walk-in freezer?
Cleric: I was...curious about the hams.
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
Dwarven NPC (he sent the party on a fetch-quest): Great! You're back! Oh, what happened to your leg? It's missing!
Monk: It was ripped off by spiders. My new leg is made out of spiders.
(No, you don't get any real context. Then it would make sense.)
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms