Tia and the bard's girl's night out. We go to the magic shop, where we met a gold dragon born.
My character only hearing stories of white dragons, mistakes the shop owner for an actual dragon: Please don't steal my stuff and freeze me for your horde
hA its actually possesion by a ghost or a brain chip or a hiver
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
...aaaand this is where I unsubscribe from this thread
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Townsperson (DM): "We've never seen such a phenomenon." Player 1: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do." Player 3: "... Phenomenon?" Player 1: "🎶Doot do-doot doot." Player 3: "Phenomenon!" Player 1, 3, and 4: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do-do-doot doo do-doot doot." Player 5: "What the **** is going on?"
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
Townsperson (DM): "We've never seen such a phenomenon." Player 1: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do." Player 3: "... Phenomenon?" Player 1: "🎶Doot do-doot doot." Player 3: "Phenomenon!" Player 1, 3, and 4: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do-do-doot doo do-doot doot." Player 5: "What the **** is going on?"
Beautiful.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Sixth level party of Ferrin (half elf wizard), Sister Serena (aasimar cleric), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), Xanlar (half elf paladin), and Nu (axolotl shifter druid), plus NPCs Phillip (human ranger) and "the kobold" (who's name we still haven't bothered learning after a dozen sessions). Nu introduced themself via notes tied to a rat and a gecko two sessions ago and actually joined the party last session by running up to the bullywug village we were getting ready to defend against an enemy reprisal assault after we'd raided a fort with the bullywugs' aid. That session was pretty much one giant battle (the DM jokingly remarked that it felt like we were playing Warhammer with all of the bullywugs, orcs, bugbears and summoned giant axolotls [Nu is Circle of the Shepherd] involved) which ran into most of todays session. Worth noting that Nu is little, pink, adorable (illustrations were provided), and the player does a childlike, squeaky voice for them.
Xanlar was low on HP and has a sentient life draining dagger (named Carl) that heals him for 1d6 whenever it deals a killing blow to a humanoid, which he'd just done to a bugbear soldier.
Xanlar (ooc): "I need a six! Give me a six! *rolls a one*
***
Nu and Ferrin were dealing with a mysterious skeletal creature that formed from a puddle of goo that fell from a tree. No clue where it came from but it was looking a bit hostile to Ferrin, who is super squishy and was also rather low on HP. Nu decided to pull it away with a thorn whip.
DM: You pull it ten feet towards you and it drops a few bones behind it as it goes.
Nu: "Sorry! I'll pick those up for you later!"
***
Another part of the battle, submitted without context.
Ferrin (ooc): Why would you do that?!?
DM: Because I am a horrible person.
***
Fighting the bugbears with Xanlar, Serena is shamelessly using her Radiant Soul wings to hover just above the not-so-dexterous bugbears dodging javelins, spamming sacred flame, and using her bonus actions to either direct her spiritual weapon or cast ranged healing spells to revive downed allies.
Bugbear: "Come down here, shiny lady!"
Serena: "No, but you can have this!" *sacred flame*
Bugbear: "Rah! Coward!" *misses with another javelin*
Serena: "You have really bad aim!"
Bugbear: You have really bad...uh...ponytails!"
Serena: "Just burn already!" *sacred flame, failed save, 15 on 2d8 plus 6 bonus damage from Radiant Soul*
DM: "He doesn't really burn so much as vaporize into red mist."
***
Nu: "Is it still gooey?"
DM: "Do you want to touch it?"
Nu: "Kinda...I touch it."
DM: "It's goo."
***
After the fight is over with only the party plus four bullywugs and one of the three prisoners we'd liberated from the fort surviving there is some obligatory angsty roleplaying (Serena in particular wasn't taking it very well even though she actually ended the fight with full HP and was perhaps a bit overenthusiastic about burning enemy corpses), we rest and get ready to set out for our next objective.
Nu: "Oh, wait! I almost forgot my fish! I'll be right back!" *runs over to the large pond at the edge of the village* "Kitty! We made some new friends and it's time to go now! Come on and I'll introduce you!"
DM describes a six foot long, one hundred and fifty pound catfish (literally bigger than Nu) jump out of the pond and into Nu's outstretched arms. Nu then turns back to the party, waddling under the encumbering weight of the fish as it gargles incoherently (DM providing the gargling noises). Another illustration is provided.
Nu: "This is my fish, Kitty! Kitty, the shiny lady is Serena, the glowy arms man is Ferrin..."
Serena: "I have questions."
***
After the "introductions" we realize we aren't sure exactly where we need to be going, and eventually figure out that our desired destination is near a large waterfall.
Xanlar: "The little guy's from around here, does he know where there's a waterfall nearby?"
Nu: "Do I?"
DM: "Roll a Nature check."
Nu: *Gets a 5* "What's a waterfall?"
Xanlar: "What kind of druid are you?"
DM: "Try Perception." *Nu gets a 25* "You can just barely hear a waterfall far, far off in the distance."
Cleric is keeping watch while party is asleep for the night and is approached by seven goblins.
Head goblin: Got any gold? Cleric: Nope. DM: Roll for deception Cleric: Nat 20, so 21. DM: The goblins believe you. {They leave peacefully after cleric shares some food with them.}
-----
Later that same session, barbarian and druid are sneakily scoping out the layout of a dragon's lair when the druid failed a stealth check and made some noise.
Dragon: is anyone down there? Barbarian: No. DM: Roll a deception check. Barbarian: 8 DM: The dragon does not believe you. Cleric: Well, it worked on the goblins.
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=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Sixth level party of Ferrin (half elf wizard), Sister Serena (aasimar cleric), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), Xanlar (half elf paladin), and Nu (axolotl shifter druid), plus NPCs Phillip (human ranger) and "the kobold" (who's name we still haven't bothered learning after a dozen sessions). Nu introduced themself via notes tied to a rat and a gecko two sessions ago and actually joined the party last session by running up to the bullywug village we were getting ready to defend against an enemy reprisal assault after we'd raided a fort with the bullywugs' aid. That session was pretty much one giant battle (the DM jokingly remarked that it felt like we were playing Warhammer with all of the bullywugs, orcs, bugbears and summoned giant axolotls [Nu is Circle of the Shepherd] involved) which ran into most of todays session. Worth noting that Nu is little, pink, adorable (illustrations were provided), and the player does a childlike, squeaky voice for them.
Xanlar was low on HP and has a sentient life draining dagger (named Carl) that heals him for 1d6 whenever it deals a killing blow to a humanoid, which he'd just done to a bugbear soldier.
Xanlar (ooc): "I need a six! Give me a six! *rolls a one*
***
Nu and Ferrin were dealing with a mysterious skeletal creature that formed from a puddle of goo that fell from a tree. No clue where it came from but it was looking a bit hostile to Ferrin, who is super squishy and was also rather low on HP. Nu decided to pull it away with a thorn whip.
DM: You pull it ten feet towards you and it drops a few bones behind it as it goes.
Nu: "Sorry! I'll pick those up for you later!"
***
Another part of the battle, submitted without context.
Ferrin (ooc): Why would you do that?!?
DM: Because I am a horrible person.
***
Fighting the bugbears with Xanlar, Serena is shamelessly using her Radiant Soul wings to hover just above the not-so-dexterous bugbears dodging javelins, spamming sacred flame, and using her bonus actions to either direct her spiritual weapon or cast ranged healing spells to revive downed allies.
Bugbear: "Come down here, shiny lady!"
Serena: "No, but you can have this!" *sacred flame*
Bugbear: "Rah! Coward!" *misses with another javelin*
Serena: "You have really bad aim!"
Bugbear: You have really bad...uh...ponytails!"
Serena: "Just burn already!" *sacred flame, failed save, 15 on 2d8 plus 6 bonus damage from Radiant Soul*
DM: "He doesn't really burn so much as vaporize into red mist."
***
Nu: "Is it still gooey?"
DM: "Do you want to touch it?"
Nu: "Kinda...I touch it."
DM: "It's goo."
***
After the fight is over with only the party plus four bullywugs and one of the three prisoners we'd liberated from the fort surviving there is some obligatory angsty roleplaying (Serena in particular wasn't taking it very well even though she actually ended the fight with full HP and was perhaps a bit overenthusiastic about burning enemy corpses), we rest and get ready to set out for our next objective.
Nu: "Oh, wait! I almost forgot my fish! I'll be right back!" *runs over to the large pond at the edge of the village* "Kitty! We made some new friends and it's time to go now! Come on and I'll introduce you!"
DM describes a six foot long, one hundred and fifty pound catfish (literally bigger than Nu) jump out of the pond and into Nu's outstretched arms. Nu then turns back to the party, waddling under the encumbering weight of the fish as it gargles incoherently (DM providing the gargling noises). Another illustration is provided.
Nu: "This is my fish, Kitty! Kitty, the shiny lady is Serena, the glowy arms man is Ferrin..."
Serena: "I have questions."
***
After the "introductions" we realize we aren't sure exactly where we need to be going, and eventually figure out that our desired destination is near a large waterfall.
Xanlar: "The little guy's from around here, does he know where there's a waterfall nearby?"
Nu: "Do I?"
DM: "Roll a Nature check."
Nu: *Gets a 5* "What's a waterfall?"
Xanlar: "What kind of druid are you?"
DM: "Try Perception." *Nu gets a 25* "You can just barely hear a waterfall far, far off in the distance."
Nu: "Oh. Water is falling. Now I get it."
I always really look forward to hearing about your adventures!
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I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Monk: Don't you guys love it how you all get a bunch of amazing stuff when you level up, but I basically get nothing? Wizard: That's not true! You just got the ability to speak with anyone that can speak, and next level get proficiency with all saving throws! Monk: Says the girl that can cast Tongues and Comprehend Language all the time. And has Lucky and the War Wizard feature where you can get a +4 bonus to any saving throw. We also have a bard, and a paladin, and an artificer that can all give me a high enough bonus to my saving throws that I never fail. And, even if I do fail, Evasion lets me take half damage. These features are all useless. Monks suck.
(Not really overall funny, but we did find it funny that the Monk, who loves playing a monk and does the most damage out of anyone in the group, was saying that Monks suck.)
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Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Monk: Don't you guys love it how you all get a bunch of amazing stuff when you level up, but I basically get nothing? Wizard: That's not true! You just got the ability to speak with anyone that can speak, and next level get proficiency with all saving throws! Monk: Says the girl that can cast Tongues and Comprehend Language all the time. And has Lucky and the War Wizard feature where you can get a +4 bonus to any saving throw. We also have a bard, and a paladin, and an artificer that can all give me a high enough bonus to my saving throws that I never fail. And, even if I do fail, Evasion lets me take half damage. These features are all useless. Monks suck.
(Not really overall funny, but we did find it funny that the Monk, who loves playing a monk and does the most damage out of anyone in the group, was saying that Monks suck.)
Monks rule!
Also monks (yes this is a quote): Can I get things that go boom?
Also monks (also a quote): I can flyyyyyy!
Also monks when multiclassed, and only at 4th level total (once again, I quote): I will make an unarmed stike against my target. Oh, there's an ally within 5 feet of me. That means I have advantage. So I hit? Not a crit. Shame. I'll roll a d8 and add my dex for base bludgeoning damage... And I'll expend a ki point to increase the range of my unarmed attack to become 15 feet and deal fire damage instead... and I'll expend a ki point to deal an additional 1d10 fire damage... also, I'll use my bonus action to make another unarmed strike that deals fire damage with a range of 15 feet... Also, I will then walk my 40 foot speed... And finally I will end my turn by yelling "Die!"
This Monk in particular was a 3rd-level monk: Way of the 4 Elements, 1st-level fighter (with the Unarmed Fighter fighting style), that was also a lunatic (literally) Kobold Were-wolf that tormented the DMs of our open group for 6 sessions, alongside a goblin that enjoyed soup so much he carried a cauldron of it everywhere he went.
Tia and the bard's girl's night out. We go to the magic shop, where we met a gold dragon born.
My character only hearing stories of white dragons, mistakes the shop owner for an actual dragon: Please don't steal my stuff and freeze me for your horde
The DM and bard:.... What?
hA its actually possesion by a ghost or a brain chip or a hiver
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
From a session earlier today;
“I ready cure wounds above your crotch and say, “Silver, let’s do it.” (Not nearly as sexual as that sounds.)
“Can we have this circumcision without any murder please?”
...aaaand this is where I unsubscribe from this thread
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
"If we keep this money; you'll be dead in a week."
"Pfft...please: I'll be dead in a day. Two, tops."
Player being sentenced to prison
Judge: "25 years in prison!"
Player: "how about 10?"
Judge: "25!"
Player: "30"
Judge: "40!"
Player: "50!"
Judge: "life sentence! Take it or leave it"
Player: "fine!"
my name is not Bryce
Actor
Certified Dark Sun enjoyer
usually on forum games and not contributing to conversations ¯\_ (ツ)_/
For every user who writes 5 paragraph essays as each of their posts: Remember to touch grass occasionally
Im honestly not sure who lost.
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
Neither am I, but I love it.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
“So, it’s like reverse psychology, but with hair?”
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Townsperson (DM): "We've never seen such a phenomenon."
Player 1: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do."
Player 3: "... Phenomenon?"
Player 1: "🎶Doot do-doot doot."
Player 3: "Phenomenon!"
Player 1, 3, and 4: "🎶Doot doo do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do-do-doot doo do-doot doot."
Player 5: "What the **** is going on?"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Yes
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
Beautiful.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Sixth level party of Ferrin (half elf wizard), Sister Serena (aasimar cleric), Venn (tiefling sorcerer), Xanlar (half elf paladin), and Nu (axolotl shifter druid), plus NPCs Phillip (human ranger) and "the kobold" (who's name we still haven't bothered learning after a dozen sessions). Nu introduced themself via notes tied to a rat and a gecko two sessions ago and actually joined the party last session by running up to the bullywug village we were getting ready to defend against an enemy reprisal assault after we'd raided a fort with the bullywugs' aid. That session was pretty much one giant battle (the DM jokingly remarked that it felt like we were playing Warhammer with all of the bullywugs, orcs, bugbears and summoned giant axolotls [Nu is Circle of the Shepherd] involved) which ran into most of todays session. Worth noting that Nu is little, pink, adorable (illustrations were provided), and the player does a childlike, squeaky voice for them.
Xanlar was low on HP and has a sentient life draining dagger (named Carl) that heals him for 1d6 whenever it deals a killing blow to a humanoid, which he'd just done to a bugbear soldier.
Xanlar (ooc): "I need a six! Give me a six! *rolls a one*
***
Nu and Ferrin were dealing with a mysterious skeletal creature that formed from a puddle of goo that fell from a tree. No clue where it came from but it was looking a bit hostile to Ferrin, who is super squishy and was also rather low on HP. Nu decided to pull it away with a thorn whip.
DM: You pull it ten feet towards you and it drops a few bones behind it as it goes.
Nu: "Sorry! I'll pick those up for you later!"
***
Another part of the battle, submitted without context.
Ferrin (ooc): Why would you do that?!?
DM: Because I am a horrible person.
***
Fighting the bugbears with Xanlar, Serena is shamelessly using her Radiant Soul wings to hover just above the not-so-dexterous bugbears dodging javelins, spamming sacred flame, and using her bonus actions to either direct her spiritual weapon or cast ranged healing spells to revive downed allies.
Bugbear: "Come down here, shiny lady!"
Serena: "No, but you can have this!" *sacred flame*
Bugbear: "Rah! Coward!" *misses with another javelin*
Serena: "You have really bad aim!"
Bugbear: You have really bad...uh...ponytails!"
Serena: "Just burn already!" *sacred flame, failed save, 15 on 2d8 plus 6 bonus damage from Radiant Soul*
DM: "He doesn't really burn so much as vaporize into red mist."
***
Nu: "Is it still gooey?"
DM: "Do you want to touch it?"
Nu: "Kinda...I touch it."
DM: "It's goo."
***
After the fight is over with only the party plus four bullywugs and one of the three prisoners we'd liberated from the fort surviving there is some obligatory angsty roleplaying (Serena in particular wasn't taking it very well even though she actually ended the fight with full HP and was perhaps a bit overenthusiastic about burning enemy corpses), we rest and get ready to set out for our next objective.
Nu: "Oh, wait! I almost forgot my fish! I'll be right back!" *runs over to the large pond at the edge of the village* "Kitty! We made some new friends and it's time to go now! Come on and I'll introduce you!"
DM describes a six foot long, one hundred and fifty pound catfish (literally bigger than Nu) jump out of the pond and into Nu's outstretched arms. Nu then turns back to the party, waddling under the encumbering weight of the fish as it gargles incoherently (DM providing the gargling noises). Another illustration is provided.
Nu: "This is my fish, Kitty! Kitty, the shiny lady is Serena, the glowy arms man is Ferrin..."
Serena: "I have questions."
***
After the "introductions" we realize we aren't sure exactly where we need to be going, and eventually figure out that our desired destination is near a large waterfall.
Xanlar: "The little guy's from around here, does he know where there's a waterfall nearby?"
Nu: "Do I?"
DM: "Roll a Nature check."
Nu: *Gets a 5* "What's a waterfall?"
Xanlar: "What kind of druid are you?"
DM: "Try Perception." *Nu gets a 25* "You can just barely hear a waterfall far, far off in the distance."
Nu: "Oh. Water is falling. Now I get it."
Cleric is keeping watch while party is asleep for the night and is approached by seven goblins.
Head goblin: Got any gold?
Cleric: Nope.
DM: Roll for deception
Cleric: Nat 20, so 21.
DM: The goblins believe you.
{They leave peacefully after cleric shares some food with them.}
-----
Later that same session, barbarian and druid are sneakily scoping out the layout of a dragon's lair when the druid failed a stealth check and made some noise.
Dragon: is anyone down there?
Barbarian: No.
DM: Roll a deception check.
Barbarian: 8
DM: The dragon does not believe you.
Cleric: Well, it worked on the goblins.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
¨God needs to patch the squirrel fall damage exploit¨
Player announces he is now a black belt.
Various other players:
¨You level up in monk!¨
¨Level 20!¨ *Looks at monk table, jaw drops.* ¨Never mind...¨
¨Into the bag of holding.¨
Dm: ¨You pile in, then (monk) takes the bag and runs up the wall over the heads of the owlbears.¨
Monk(in french accent(unrelated to character)): ¨Wall hacks baby!¨
¨Yeah, if you shake an armed bomb, maybe the wires will come loose and it will be disarmed.¨
¨I want to kill the wall.¨ (the wall is inanimate)
¨I stab the zombie janitor.¨
¨You shoot at him and it looks like one more hit would kill him. End of your turn.¨
¨I use my bonus action to throw my fist across the room and unarmed strike.¨
¨That´s not how it works...¨
¨Wait! I cast hunters mark before shooting.¨
¨Your second arrow kills him.¨
¨But I shot him already!¨
¨He is shot, and hangs on, then realizes how awesome the shot was and dies from amazement.¨
¨As fun as it would be to have to dinosaurs fight to the death, our polymopher isn´t here.
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
I always really look forward to hearing about your adventures!
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Some context: Our Paladin is blind and our warforged tends to be a little overbearing.
NPC: Who is this guy? *gesturing at warforged*
Paladin: Ignore him, he's my seeing eye robot.
Warforged: I AM NOT.
Instagram | Linktr.ee
Both wrong. It wasn't any real mechanical effect. More a part of the character's backstory.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Monk: Don't you guys love it how you all get a bunch of amazing stuff when you level up, but I basically get nothing?
Wizard: That's not true! You just got the ability to speak with anyone that can speak, and next level get proficiency with all saving throws!
Monk: Says the girl that can cast Tongues and Comprehend Language all the time. And has Lucky and the War Wizard feature where you can get a +4 bonus to any saving throw. We also have a bard, and a paladin, and an artificer that can all give me a high enough bonus to my saving throws that I never fail. And, even if I do fail, Evasion lets me take half damage. These features are all useless. Monks suck.
(Not really overall funny, but we did find it funny that the Monk, who loves playing a monk and does the most damage out of anyone in the group, was saying that Monks suck.)
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Monks rule!
Also monks (yes this is a quote): Can I get things that go boom?
Also monks (also a quote): I can flyyyyyy!
Also monks when multiclassed, and only at 4th level total (once again, I quote): I will make an unarmed stike against my target. Oh, there's an ally within 5 feet of me. That means I have advantage. So I hit? Not a crit. Shame. I'll roll a d8 and add my dex for base bludgeoning damage... And I'll expend a ki point to increase the range of my unarmed attack to become 15 feet and deal fire damage instead... and I'll expend a ki point to deal an additional 1d10 fire damage... also, I'll use my bonus action to make another unarmed strike that deals fire damage with a range of 15 feet... Also, I will then walk my 40 foot speed... And finally I will end my turn by yelling "Die!"
This Monk in particular was a 3rd-level monk: Way of the 4 Elements, 1st-level fighter (with the Unarmed Fighter fighting style), that was also a lunatic (literally) Kobold Were-wolf that tormented the DMs of our open group for 6 sessions, alongside a goblin that enjoyed soup so much he carried a cauldron of it everywhere he went.
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!