Player 4: "Can you be a Monk if you've never been to a monastery?" Player 3: "That's not why I'm a Monk. I--" Player 5: "Did you have a Kung Fu master who died in some tragic way?" Player 3: "No. I don't do Kung Fu. I--" Player 1: "No monastery. No Kung Fu. How are you a Monk?" Player 3: "I just like to punch things." Player 2: "That's... actually fair."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM: ...and now, you're flying around uncontrollably in the air. ...and you're going to stay up there, young lady, until your next turn!
(One result of house rules regarding playing the Condition/Curse/something of being completely changed into a baby. 5e doesn't really cover that scenario.)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
PC 2: *Shapeshifts into a tall orc.* "Would you like to repeat that?"
PC 1: "Your lack of respect has been noted."
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted. Your lack of respect has been noted.
PC 4: *Claps.* "Do you think that will give us adventure and eating?"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
PC 4: "YOUR lack of respect is noted. I must eat to survive, can't you see that?"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
PC 4: "WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
PC 3: "YOUR lack of respect is noted. I must eat to survive, can't you see that?"
PC 4: "ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bardof the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules.Sig.Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Too dumb to follow the above conversation, upvoting because it's probably funny.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Too dumb to follow the above conversation, upvoting because it's probably funny.
The point is that it doesn’t make sense, I think.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Player 5: You always introduce my characters to the party the same way every time. DM: You always make the same character every time. Player 5: No. They're nothing alike. DM: Sean, the Barbarian from a small village. John, the Barbarian from a small village. Jonny, the Barbarian from a small village. Oh, wait. You played a female: Joan, the Barbarian from a small village. Player 5: You keep all my old character sheets? DM: I just realized I really only need one.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 5: You always introduce my characters to the party the same way every time. DM: You always make the same character every time. Player 5: No. They're nothing alike. DM: Sean, the Barbarian from a small village. John, the Barbarian from a small village. Jonny, the Barbarian from a small village. Oh, wait. You played a female: Joan, the Barbarian from a small village. Player 5: You keep all my old character sheets? DM: I just realized I really only need one.
This doesn’t really sound funny. I mean it might have been at the table at the time, but reading it in text form makes it sound like they were having an argument.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
Player 5: You always introduce my characters to the party the same way every time. DM: You always make the same character every time. Player 5: No. They're nothing alike. DM: Sean, the Barbarian from a small village. John, the Barbarian from a small village. Jonny, the Barbarian from a small village. Oh, wait. You played a female: Joan, the Barbarian from a small village. Player 5: You keep all my old character sheets? DM: I just realized I really only need one.
This doesn’t really sound funny. I mean it might have been at the table at the time, but reading it in text form makes it sound like they were having an argument.
Devotion Paladin: "What on earth did you do?!?!??"
Conquest Paladin after walking away from a suddenly burning building quickly enveloping the evil NPC gang in hellfire:
"My best."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Too dumb to follow the above conversation, upvoting because it's probably funny.
Kenku stuff, but it makes more sense in context.
Sense has now been made, chuckles hath been produced.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Devotion Paladin: "What on earth did you do?!?!??"
Conquest Paladin after walking away from a suddenly burning building quickly enveloping the evil NPC gang in hellfire:
"My best."
Ah, Conquest Paladins. We love how you're more evil than Oathbreakers. Just keep being yourself, guys.
Not more evil nessisarily. Just more devoted to their cause whether evil or good. Oathbreakers dont have commitment
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
DM: You are in a tavern-- Player 4: Why are we always in a tavern between adventures? Are we alcoholics? Player 2: My character is. Player 3: My character's just always hungry. Player 1: My character likes the people and the noise. Player 5: I just go wherever everyone else goes. Player 4: Okay. Carry on. DM: You four are in a tavern, nice and warm with food, drink, and camaraderie. Player 4 is somewhere else. Player 4: Sure. I'm at the library researching scrolls. DM: Oh! That's good, because back at the pub-- Player 2: Tavern. DM: Whatever. --a person who looks like a scholar bursts through the door shouting about the scroll repository being overrun with devils summoning devils. That's this town's equivalent to a library by the way. Player 5: Way to split the party, Player 4. Player 4: Hey. By not starting in a tavern, I still won a moral victory here. Player 3: ...and you'll probably die on that hill, too. Alright. Let's go save Player 4. Player 5: ...and the repository. Player 1: ...and probably the town. Player 3: Sure. Them, too.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 4: "Can you be a Monk if you've never been to a monastery?"
Player 3: "That's not why I'm a Monk. I--"
Player 5: "Did you have a Kung Fu master who died in some tragic way?"
Player 3: "No. I don't do Kung Fu. I--"
Player 1: "No monastery. No Kung Fu. How are you a Monk?"
Player 3: "I just like to punch things."
Player 2: "That's... actually fair."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
THE SUN IS FLAT!
- actually a quote -
i can roll nat 1s on command
my homebrew thingies
Magic Items - Monsters - Subclasses
“You don’t behave, you get potato sacked!” - My very human Paladin.
From a stream I saw:
DM: ...and now, you're flying around uncontrollably in the air. ...and you're going to stay up there, young lady, until your next turn!
(One result of house rules regarding playing the Condition/Curse/something of being completely changed into a baby. 5e doesn't really cover that scenario.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
In an old campaign I was part of …..
Bard to DM …. I point my finger at the goblin and cast vicious mockery.
DM to bard ….. okay what do you say?
bard ….. “your face looks like a squashed tortle anus”
…….
Later on at camp, the wizard asks the bard, “so how do you know what a tortles anus looks like.”
Bard replies with …. “That’s a long story”.
The parties Druid chimes in at that point with “tortle anuses make good tambourines.”
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
PC 1: "Your lack of respect is noted."
PC 2: *Shapeshifts into a tall orc.* "Would you like to repeat that?"
PC 1: "Your lack of respect has been noted."
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted. Your lack of respect has been noted.
PC 4: *Claps.* "Do you think that will give us adventure and eating?"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
PC 4: "YOUR lack of respect is noted. I must eat to survive, can't you see that?"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
PC 4: "WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
PC 3: "YOUR lack of respect is noted. I must eat to survive, can't you see that?"
PC 4: "ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
PC 3: "Your lack of respect is noted."
The Circle of Hedgehogs Druid Beholder/Animated Armor Level -20 Bard of the OIADSB Cult, here are our rules. Sig. Also a sauce council member, but it's been dead for a while.
Too dumb to follow the above conversation, upvoting because it's probably funny.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
The point is that it doesn’t make sense, I think.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Kenku stuff, but it makes more sense in context.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
It was very funny. More great things to repeat will follow.
I can’t remember what’s supposed to go here.
Player 5: You always introduce my characters to the party the same way every time.
DM: You always make the same character every time.
Player 5: No. They're nothing alike.
DM: Sean, the Barbarian from a small village. John, the Barbarian from a small village. Jonny, the Barbarian from a small village. Oh, wait. You played a female: Joan, the Barbarian from a small village.
Player 5: You keep all my old character sheets?
DM: I just realized I really only need one.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This doesn’t really sound funny. I mean it might have been at the table at the time, but reading it in text form makes it sound like they were having an argument.
A caffeinated nerd who has played TTRPGs or a number of years and is very much a fantasy adventure geek.
(NPC): The cultists seriously wounded me.
(PC): *Pulls out keg of ale he always has stuffed down his pants* Drink this my friend, it will heal you.
(NPC): I don't think that's how it works.
It is more “clever” than “funny”.
I found it amusing. It’s a common trope.
Devotion Paladin: "What on earth did you do?!?!??"
Conquest Paladin after walking away from a suddenly burning building quickly enveloping the evil NPC gang in hellfire:
"My best."
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Sense has now been made, chuckles hath been produced.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Ah, Conquest Paladins. We love how you're more evil than Oathbreakers. Just keep being yourself, guys.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Not more evil nessisarily. Just more devoted to their cause whether evil or good. Oathbreakers dont have commitment
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
paraphrased
DM: You are in a tavern--
Player 4: Why are we always in a tavern between adventures? Are we alcoholics?
Player 2: My character is.
Player 3: My character's just always hungry.
Player 1: My character likes the people and the noise.
Player 5: I just go wherever everyone else goes.
Player 4: Okay. Carry on.
DM: You four are in a tavern, nice and warm with food, drink, and camaraderie. Player 4 is somewhere else.
Player 4: Sure. I'm at the library researching scrolls.
DM: Oh! That's good, because back at the pub--
Player 2: Tavern.
DM: Whatever. --a person who looks like a scholar bursts through the door shouting about the scroll repository being overrun with devils summoning devils. That's this town's equivalent to a library by the way.
Player 5: Way to split the party, Player 4.
Player 4: Hey. By not starting in a tavern, I still won a moral victory here.
Player 3: ...and you'll probably die on that hill, too. Alright. Let's go save Player 4.
Player 5: ...and the repository.
Player 1: ...and probably the town.
Player 3: Sure. Them, too.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Famous last words. lets get drunk