Reminds me of another situation I saw in a stream where two party members who were separated from each other met in an archive they were trying to infiltrate. She was busy rummaging through archive boxes when he entered.
DM: "You see that she is soaking wet and covered in blood."
(Trivia: The game mentioned here is the same world as the D&D setting but set in a far-flung Steampunk future. There was some kind of cataclysm that switched the souls of creatures passing on to wherever their beliefs were to take them to magic being syphoned out of the world while spirits were stuck in the realm, being used to power the various inventions out of callous ignorance. Same D&D world, but used for the Blades in the Dark game.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
After a player notices the range of a monster's spell attack suddenly increased 10 ft...
Player: Wasn't it a 30 ft cone? DM: Oh, you are right! Sorry about that. Player: Phew! I thought that they had evolved even more! DM: Give 'em time... Player: ...
No context except to say that they were not trying to loosen the chandelier so it would fall which could very well be sleight of hand.
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=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
"While swinging from the chandelier, I use my powerful Orcish thighs to scoop up the guards."
(I still wonder why that group doesn't say "try". They always say things as if they succeeded before they roll. They're a very typical "Yes, and..." group of actors, but "Yes, and..." only works if what they stated succeeds.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
One of the characters in my party has a bag of infinite noses. (don't ask)
A character was unconscious, with one failed death save, and behind a wall. The paladin asked the character with the bag of noses to pull out the unconscious character's nose, in order to lay on hands the character. For some reason, the DM let this work, and they grew a new body for the character from his nose. After around 15 minutes, we realized that, sense the character new body was grown from a nose, the character had been walking around with no clothes on.
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Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
"wait, so we accepted a quest from a super suspicious hooded stranger in a tavern, and by doing so accidentally doomed the multiverse?"
DM: yeah, pretty much
---------------------- Me: "I made my character to be the annoying chaotic gremlin of the group (CN wild magic sorcerer), but the other players were just so much more chaotic than me, so I became the normal one."
Why does this sound exactly like the games i've played in?
"Wait...You cremated that dragonborn guy for those kids for free, but I have to pay you 20 gp to cast Create Bonfire for a bonfire for my dark ritual??" -- Tabaxi Rogue/Warlock to Elf Wizard
Tabaxi (out of character): "Why do we have to sail on this boat for hours? I hate water!" DM: "Uh oh...You might not like Adventure III, then..." (Adventure III involved sailing 2,502 miles across an ocean.)
Bard: "WELL! He wouldn't have gotten captured if would've just let me see him pee!!" --- Bard: "Look, all I'm saying is we spend the summer working with [blacksmith NPC] and using [paladin & fighter] to teach them to fight - and we can handle the dragon no problem!" Druid: ".....They're children!!" --- [town on fire, fighter is running off] Bard: "Where is she going?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" Fighter: "I'M GOING TO SAVE MY [ladies of the night]!!" --- Paladin: "Yeah, I'm dead inside." Bald DM(me): "Ohhh, so that's why you're bald!"
"Do you mean you are giving me an opportunity to gold plate my potato?"
No Context
“The cat is covered in blood, yes.”
(Confused and concerned) ”Is it dead?”
”The blood does not belong to the cat.”
Reminds me of another situation I saw in a stream where two party members who were separated from each other met in an archive they were trying to infiltrate. She was busy rummaging through archive boxes when he entered.
DM: "You see that she is soaking wet and covered in blood."
(Trivia: The game mentioned here is the same world as the D&D setting but set in a far-flung Steampunk future. There was some kind of cataclysm that switched the souls of creatures passing on to wherever their beliefs were to take them to magic being syphoned out of the world while spirits were stuck in the realm, being used to power the various inventions out of callous ignorance. Same D&D world, but used for the Blades in the Dark game.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
After a player notices the range of a monster's spell attack suddenly increased 10 ft...
Player: Wasn't it a 30 ft cone?
DM: Oh, you are right! Sorry about that.
Player: Phew! I thought that they had evolved even more!
DM: Give 'em time...
Player: ...
It doesn't bode well for the future! :D
Hyrkali
Full DNDBeyond.com in Dark Mode? Yes please!
"So to get this clear you first seduced the griffon and then tamed it as a pet?"
This happened during a campaign my friends and I just started.
DM: So you all have dark vision right?
Me: Yea, I do so does Player 2... Oh wait. I don't think player 1 has dark vision.
Player 1: I find some bioluminescent mushrooms and eat them. I get dark vision.
Me and DM:. That's not how that works.
Player 1: Yes it is.
"How do you 'sleight of hand' a chandelier?!?"
No context except to say that they were not trying to loosen the chandelier so it would fall which could very well be sleight of hand.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
(Not mine. From a stream.)
Reminds me of...
"While swinging from the chandelier, I use my powerful Orcish thighs to scoop up the guards."
(I still wonder why that group doesn't say "try". They always say things as if they succeeded before they roll. They're a very typical "Yes, and..." group of actors, but "Yes, and..." only works if what they stated succeeds.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player: "Actually, I think my character should also be in the way of the projectile-"
Me, the DM: "OK. Make a Dex Save."
Same Player: "Wait, aren't we still by the pool of acid?"
Me: "Oh yeah! *rolls d6* Anyway, you see another monster emerge from the pool."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
"You're a dwarf?? No wonder you're so short."
"YOUR D*CK IS SHORT"
I'm running a game of Dragon of Icespire peak and I was talking to one the players about how their chaos derailed the campaign
Me: So here are the three starter quests you did, and here are seven quests you skipped.
One of the characters in my party has a bag of infinite noses. (don't ask)
A character was unconscious, with one failed death save, and behind a wall. The paladin asked the character with the bag of noses to pull out the unconscious character's nose, in order to lay on hands the character. For some reason, the DM let this work, and they grew a new body for the character from his nose. After around 15 minutes, we realized that, sense the character new body was grown from a nose, the character had been walking around with no clothes on.
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
“The medic said you were lucky to get out of there alive.”
”Nah, luck didn’t have anything to do with it; that was all calculated.”
”You “calculated” getting shot in the *ss?”
”That is correct.”
Why does this sound exactly like the games i've played in?
Me: Oh jesus I was not expecting that.
DM: You stabbed his dog...how were you not expecting him to attack you.
Me: The dog struck first.
DM: ....
Join the Town of Agreal! ----> LINK
Check out my photography on Flickr. ----> LINK
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
"Wait...You cremated that dragonborn guy for those kids for free, but I have to pay you 20 gp to cast Create Bonfire for a bonfire for my dark ritual??" -- Tabaxi Rogue/Warlock to Elf Wizard
Tabaxi (out of character): "Why do we have to sail on this boat for hours? I hate water!"
DM: "Uh oh...You might not like Adventure III, then..."
(Adventure III involved sailing 2,502 miles across an ocean.)
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
"Once I get Tiamat as a pet, I will feed each head color-coordinated mortal souls."
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
Bard: "WELL! He wouldn't have gotten captured if would've just let me see him pee!!"
---
Bard: "Look, all I'm saying is we spend the summer working with [blacksmith NPC] and using [paladin & fighter] to teach them to fight - and we can handle the dragon no problem!"
Druid: ".....They're children!!"
---
[town on fire, fighter is running off]
Bard: "Where is she going?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?"
Fighter: "I'M GOING TO SAVE MY [ladies of the night]!!"
---
Paladin: "Yeah, I'm dead inside."
Bald DM(me): "Ohhh, so that's why you're bald!"
"You scream in pain as your groin is butchered."
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
"Roll the d20 of fate!"
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her