Unity cleric who can’t remember what god she swore too, and is always drunk, is on a trip with her part and a married couple (who are main npcs): “so yeah, do you guys want a threesome?”
I had them roll persuasion, and they got a 17 and a 3. The guy, who is a bard, was almost convinced, but got a death stare from his wife.
that was the last incident of it, ever.
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
DM speaking to 2 players at the very start of a new campaign with new characters: "No. Your characters can't do it with each other. They haven't even met, yet."
Upon learning that another guy was playing a sorceress, the guy playing a cleric - before the campaign began - rolled a CHA check to seduce the sorceress (by request of the other guy) and, to both of their delights, succeeded. Those were weird times.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Steven van Broccoli is the Avatar! Prince Zuko is looking for the pig!"
"I'll have you know I went to college for a wholeday!"
Sorceress (about her baby bullette): "Don't worry, he's housebroken"
Bard: "He's broken a couple of houses."
Mob Boss: "Anything else your friend lost besides his choker?"
Bard: "Yeah, his dignity. Oh no, did I say that out loud?"
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Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
[Party is at a crossroads. We don't have a map. We're tracking a wagon, and we know where they're going but not which direction they took at these crossroads]
Both Rangers: *using their tracking skills to try to find the wagon we're chasing on this heavily used road. Trying and rolling terribly* Me, the wizard: "Hm. I look for a sign." DM: "Oh yeah, there's a sign right at the crossroads. The wagon's final destination is indicated on the sign pointing to the left." Both Rangers: >:-(
it wasn't said but my character "found" a cow you see kender witch is the race i play are massive kleptomaniacs to the point where they dont steal they only find so my kender found a cow our dwarf also likes to toss the kender he hates my kender cuz the dwarf is always serious my kender is the oooh shiny member of the group
-Can I sell him as a slave
-roll charisma
-crit
-the other player sells the slave trader.
Unity cleric who can’t remember what god she swore too, and is always drunk, is on a trip with her part and a married couple (who are main npcs): “so yeah, do you guys want a threesome?”
I had them roll persuasion, and they got a 17 and a 3. The guy, who is a bard, was almost convinced, but got a death stare from his wife.
that was the last incident of it, ever.
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
DM speaking to 2 players at the very start of a new campaign with new characters: "No. Your characters can't do it with each other. They haven't even met, yet."
Upon learning that another guy was playing a sorceress, the guy playing a cleric - before the campaign began - rolled a CHA check to seduce the sorceress (by request of the other guy) and, to both of their delights, succeeded. Those were weird times.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Is that how your showing tribute to her? By making angels in the hell snow?"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
"Steven van Broccoli is the Avatar! Prince Zuko is looking for the pig!"
"I'll have you know I went to college for a whole day!"
Sorceress (about her baby bullette): "Don't worry, he's housebroken"
Bard: "He's broken a couple of houses."
Mob Boss: "Anything else your friend lost besides his choker?"
Bard: "Yeah, his dignity. Oh no, did I say that out loud?"
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
"Guys, can we please not kill any orphans or anything this town?"
Dm: as you walk along the street, you meet a man holding a glass eye. He offers to sell it to you.
Players: nah let's leave it
Dm: ok, you carry on for a while, and about ten minutes later you see a man tumble out of a tavern telling, "WHERES MY F**CKING EYE!!!"
cat rouge: the door wont open guys
my kender: did u try pulling
I'm laughing so hard at this set, @medschooldropout. XD
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
The campaign I'm playing is so boring lmao
Hello! I am just a relatively new D&D player, who also likes SimplePlanes and War Thunder.
My characters are:
[Party is at a crossroads. We don't have a map. We're tracking a wagon, and we know where they're going but not which direction they took at these crossroads]
Both Rangers: *using their tracking skills to try to find the wagon we're chasing on this heavily used road. Trying and rolling terribly*
Me, the wizard: "Hm. I look for a sign."
DM: "Oh yeah, there's a sign right at the crossroads. The wagon's final destination is indicated on the sign pointing to the left."
Both Rangers: >:-(
it wasn't said but my character "found" a cow you see kender witch is the race i play are massive kleptomaniacs to the point where they dont steal they only find so my kender found a cow our dwarf also likes to toss the kender he hates my kender cuz the dwarf is always serious my kender is the oooh shiny member of the group
Spot (To a recently freed dragon) - Would you like to join us?
Dragon - I'm sorry, but I'll humbly refuse. If you don't like that, kill me.
Holly (Fed up at this point. There was a whole thing) - I hear dragon meat is good these days! *Pulls out weapon*
I have no personality.
I'm sure this thread is full of other replies but my personal favorite was:
Paladin to Barbarian: "You seem like a person who doesn't understand nuances."
Low INT Barbarian: "Thanks!"
love is stored in the frog :)
low int barbarians are the freaking best
Not mine, but I love this one from Critical Role:
Grog: I have an intelligence of 6, I think I know what I'm doing.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Me, the rouge
”if I wanted to kill you, I would probably tell you”
(our Fighter, who had their "Intelligence" reduced by an Intellect Devourer)
(looks at reflection in mirror)
Fighter: "That's MY face...! GIVE IT BACK!"
(smash)
i dont remember the scene going like that
grog is the freaking best from campaign 1 but i think we can all agree that jester is the best of campaign two
Easily.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms