third level party of a human coffeelock, a zombie wizard, and a drow artificer. (we have 6 other players, but they were not there at the time. i'm dming.)
They were playing through the 'no tears over spilled coffee' free adventure to get them introduced to strixhaven before we start the campaign. Currently, they were fighting two magma mephits. It was the wizard's turn.
Wizard: "I'm going to cast minor illusion to convince these mephits that Magma Jesus has come to save them and he wants them to fight to the death."
DM: ... alright, roll deception, cause this is pretty out ther-
*nat 20*
DM: "...OH. So. You cast minor illusion, and you are so convincing with this that not only are the mephits completely convinced this is Magma Jesus, the entire party has now been converted, including you."
Coffeelock: "PRAISE MAGMA JESUS!"
What is a coffeelock? is it a Warlock who's patron is a sentient Bottle of Boundless Coffee?
Although that would be awesome, unfortunately it is not. It's a common multiclass where you multiclass warlock and sorcerer, converting warlock spellslots into sorcery points and back into spell slots. As long as you never take a long rest, (the exhaustion from which can be mitigated by Greater Restoration, which can be obtained by Divine Soul sorcerers), you can gain infinite spellslots.
Health is a problem, but you can remove that through cure wounds and other heal spells, also available to Divine Soul's.
So they're spending 100gp per day on diamond dust? Because if you're allowing that kind of munchkin build and not enforcing material components you might as well not bother with rules at all...
So they're spending 100gp per day on diamond dust? Because if you're allowing that kind of munchkin build and not enforcing material components you might as well not bother with rules at all...
Yeah, it's far from perfect, but if you can manage it it's rather strong.
If you start with sorcerer you get Constitution save proficiency, which is required to avoid Exhaustion by not long resting (which is itself technically also a variant rule, just one that is just about universally used), so as long as you have good Constitution you'll probably be able to go a day or two between castings.
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This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
So they're spending 100gp per day on diamond dust? Because if you're allowing that kind of munchkin build and not enforcing material components you might as well not bother with rules at all...
Nah, I’ve given up at this point. Instead, I just make his life miserable by roleplaying his patron, who is the pettiest and most spiteful celestial you will ever meet, and making them send him on stupid quests and errands for terrible reasons. It’s quite fun, and to be honest, we already treat the rules as more like *guidelines* or *suggestions*. If he gets too min-max-y then I might start enforcing material components.
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she/any - member of the spider guild :D - official elesh norn enthusiast
Fourth/fifth level party (material from a few sessions and we leveled up between some) with Kohein (elf rogue/arcane trickster), Ketthan (tabaxi monk), Perri (human warlock), and Verity (half elf cleric). Party is accompanied by NPCs Vermina (human energetic nerd of yet undetermined class) and Tenoch (firbolg orphan boy working as out translator [region has a different "common" that we don't speak). Setting is a massive underground realm something like a cross between "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and Arthur Conan Doyle's "Lost World" with a prehispanic Mesoamerican theme.
DM: "Okay, so where were we?" Perri: "I believe I just picked up a poster for all nude girls."
We track down the bandits that kidnapped Tenoch and manage to defeat them in short order. Ketthan scoops up Tenoch and carries him back to where we told Vermina to wait out the fight.
Verity: "Does anybody notice that Ketthan is behind us now?" DM: "Tabaxi monks are very fast."
Going through the bandits' campsite, Perri finds a small cage with a scorpion in it.
Perri: "I'm trying to think, would Perri try and pet this?...Nah, she's not that dumb. I saw horses over here and I want to go pet those."
A moment later...
Perri: "Hey, look what I found!" *OOC* "And then I immediately shove the cage with the scorpion in Verity's face."
===
Kohein: "Tenoch, did they say anything about why they were kidnapping you?" Perri: "Did it have anything to do with this poster?" Vermina: "Don't look at that!"
===
We managed to keep one bandit alive, knocking him out with non-lethal damage, and are thinking about interrogating him.
Perri: "How are we gonna wake him up?" Kohein: "I kick him." Verity "I pull out my knife."
After he's less than forthcoming...
Verity: "How many fingers does he have?" Perri: "Weren't you supposed to be the good cop?" Vermina: "I think they're doing bad cop worse cop."
===
The party is approached by a fairy dragon that asks for our help freeing it's friends from the minions of a spider monster that have captured them and are slowly eating them. The fairy dragon is also a bit creepy in the way that it overtly flirts with Ketthan and Kohein (mostly Ketthan). Despite the creepiness we agree to help if only because the problem seems like something that shouldn't be left unchecked in general. Verity suddenly says she has something urgent and runs away right before we get to our destination. As we assault the humanoid spider monsters around various large webs full of small fey and various forest creatures, an old man with a long gray beard in robes and a tall pointy hat arrives on the scene. Conveniently, Verity's player image in Roll20 is now replaced with a matching image and the name "Gospel Glosswood" and the player is now doing an old geezer voice (to be fair she's pretty good at voices).
Gospel: "Is that a frog?" Perri: "There are a lot of things stuck in these webs. I'm pretty sure there's a bear up there in that one."
===
Kohein takes some nasty hits...
DM: "That's ten piercing damage and ten poison damage." Kohein: "Ouch, that takes me down to ten hit points." DM: "And you need to make a DC ten Constitution save." Perri: "Would you say this is becoming a tense situation?"
===
DM: "Okay, now this spider guy is having a very bad day all of the sudden. It had started out so well, because he had a date with Sharon later and he heard that she goes to second base on the first date." Kohein: "What's second base for spiders?" Perri: "I think they spit webs at each other." Kohein: "I would think that would be first base?" Perri: "What? You can't just skip straight to web spitting!"
===
Gospel getting involved directly...
Gospel: "I take out this big shiny orb and chuck it at that guy."
A missed attack whizzes past Perri
Perri: "Kindly control your balls, good sir!" Gospel: "I only have the one, grasshopper!"
===
After just about everybody nearly dies with Ketthan going down twice and Kohein spending half the fight at 1 HP, we manage to kill the spider goons.
Perri: "Did we win?" Kohein: "Technically, though we did still get our asses kicked." Perri: "I'll take it." Gospel: "Well, I have to go. You grasshoppers be careful, now, you hear!"
===
We free a bunch of the fey/forest critters and go to scout the cave with the queen spider's lair inside before returning to where Vermina and Tenoch are waiting with the fairy dragon and his friends.
Vermina: "Hurry up, the weasels are winking at me!" Kohein: "We'll try to be back soon. Just keep an eye on them and, uh, cross your legs or something." Vermina: "Haha, very funny." *crosses legs*
===
Verity suddenly appears out of the underbrush...
Verity: "Hi guys, what's up?" Perri: "Where did you come from?" Verity: "Just over that way. I passed some weird old man that called me a grasshopper?"
===
Discussing the spider creatures and possibly luring them out of the cave...
Kohein: "Apparently they like to eat fairies. I wonder if the glittery stuff tastes like sprinkles." Verity: "What does a fairy in pain sound like?" Fairy Dragon: "You're a sadistic *****!"
Asking the fairy dragon for more help (even though he's still very demanding while we're helping him and his friends)...
Fairy Dragon: "Maybe I could if someone asks me real nice!" Ketthan: "Okay, uh, do that please." Fairy DRagon: "Ooh, I will do it if it's an order." Ketthan: "Huh?" Fairy Dragon: "Say it harder!"
Perri: "Little Sir [her pseudodragon familiar], you're a fey creature, too, right?" DM: "Little Sir just looks at you and you hear his voice in your head saying 'I am not related to that thing.'"
===
The fairy dragon accompanies us then promptly goes invisible when we run into more spider minions. Kohein rolls a nat 1 on a longbow attack...
DM: "Suddenly the fairy dragon appears in midair with an arrow sticking out of him." Fairy Dragon: "What the hell are you doing?!?" *spits rainbow blood and flies away* "You all suck! F--- you and f--- your---" Perri: "Geez, Koko, I know he was annoying but you didn't have to shoot him!"
===
Again, the fight doesn't go well and by the time we kill the goons Ketthan and Verity are down.
Kohein: "I'll pick up Ketthan since I'm pretty sure he's heavier." Perri: "We have the same strength score." Kohein: "I'm trying to be nice." Perri: "Okay, I didn't want to carry him anyway."
===
We retreat and camp for the night. Perri and Vermina are having another excited gossipy wild theory session about the other party members.
Perri: "...but I think the one most likely to punch a dad is Verity."
===
Rested and returning to the cave lair, we manage to more easily dispatch some spider-oid minions and get to a lair filled with human sized cocoon-like sacks. Kohein pokes one with his rapier and it starts wriggling.
Verity: "Should we try fire?" Perri: "I can do fire." Kohein: "Do fire!" Perri: "I do fire."
Kohein pokes a second cocoon and gets a human sounding scream. We start to cut away the outer layers and reveal a woman with the features on one side of her face replaced with the mandibles and multiple eyes of a large spider.
Kohein: "I stab her in the head and shout 'Burn it! Burn them all! Burn now!'"
"I cover my eyes thinking that they can't see me if I can't see them."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Me: "I really need you to meet me halfway on this because I am absolutely going to butcher that word."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Already on it.
Looking for a campaign? Or, perhaps, trying to start one? Come join Rolegate! Just send me a friend request (same name as here) and I'll help you get started!
Ducks are just geese lite. Focus on the future. It'll become the past soon enough.
Istari and White Counsel in Club. Not the wish-granter of a thread.
Become a Plague Doctor today!
Join the Knights of the Random Table and Calius and Kothar Industries!
Homebrew: Artifact, Dungeon
May be offline due to school
So they're spending 100gp per day on diamond dust? Because if you're allowing that kind of munchkin build and not enforcing material components you might as well not bother with rules at all...
Yeah, it's far from perfect, but if you can manage it it's rather strong.
If you start with sorcerer you get Constitution save proficiency, which is required to avoid Exhaustion by not long resting (which is itself technically also a variant rule, just one that is just about universally used), so as long as you have good Constitution you'll probably be able to go a day or two between castings.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Nah, I’ve given up at this point. Instead, I just make his life miserable by roleplaying his patron, who is the pettiest and most spiteful celestial you will ever meet, and making them send him on stupid quests and errands for terrible reasons. It’s quite fun, and to be honest, we already treat the rules as more like *guidelines* or *suggestions*. If he gets too min-max-y then I might start enforcing material components.
she/any - member of the spider guild :D - official elesh norn enthusiast
current characters:
-Zalia Moonkeeper, tiefling abjuration wizard/alchemist artificer
-Philomena Silverthread, changeling assassin rogue
-Glass, kenku vengeance paladin
DM (me): Alright you've entered an abandoned town you see a few buildings up ahead.
Rouge subclass wizard: Alright let's go toward the closest one.
DM (me): Ok. You walk up to one of the buildings.
Dwarf Cleric: I'd like to make a perception check. *Nat 20*
DM (Me): Wow ok. You hear the occasional rustle from inside.
Rouge subclass wizard: I want to cast fireball.
DM (Me): I beg your pardon, what?
Rouge subclass wizard: I said I want to cast fireball.
DM (Me): Dude why? It's just a rustling noise.
Join the Town of Agreal! ----> LINK
Check out my photography on Flickr. ----> LINK
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
The wizard is right. Fireball is always the answer.
she/any - member of the spider guild :D - official elesh norn enthusiast
current characters:
-Zalia Moonkeeper, tiefling abjuration wizard/alchemist artificer
-Philomena Silverthread, changeling assassin rogue
-Glass, kenku vengeance paladin
Shoot first, ask questions to whatever's left of the smoldering ruins, and any potential survivors, later.
Hyrkali
Full DNDBeyond.com in Dark Mode? Yes please!
"Why not Chonkus? That's another DnD sentence"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Fourth/fifth level party (material from a few sessions and we leveled up between some) with Kohein (elf rogue/arcane trickster), Ketthan (tabaxi monk), Perri (human warlock), and Verity (half elf cleric). Party is accompanied by NPCs Vermina (human energetic nerd of yet undetermined class) and Tenoch (firbolg orphan boy working as out translator [region has a different "common" that we don't speak). Setting is a massive underground realm something like a cross between "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and Arthur Conan Doyle's "Lost World" with a prehispanic Mesoamerican theme.
DM: "Okay, so where were we?"
Perri: "I believe I just picked up a poster for all nude girls."
We track down the bandits that kidnapped Tenoch and manage to defeat them in short order. Ketthan scoops up Tenoch and carries him back to where we told Vermina to wait out the fight.
Verity: "Does anybody notice that Ketthan is behind us now?"
DM: "Tabaxi monks are very fast."
Going through the bandits' campsite, Perri finds a small cage with a scorpion in it.
Perri: "I'm trying to think, would Perri try and pet this?...Nah, she's not that dumb. I saw horses over here and I want to go pet those."
A moment later...
Perri: "Hey, look what I found!" *OOC* "And then I immediately shove the cage with the scorpion in Verity's face."
===
Kohein: "Tenoch, did they say anything about why they were kidnapping you?"
Perri: "Did it have anything to do with this poster?"
Vermina: "Don't look at that!"
===
We managed to keep one bandit alive, knocking him out with non-lethal damage, and are thinking about interrogating him.
Perri: "How are we gonna wake him up?"
Kohein: "I kick him."
Verity "I pull out my knife."
After he's less than forthcoming...
Verity: "How many fingers does he have?"
Perri: "Weren't you supposed to be the good cop?"
Vermina: "I think they're doing bad cop worse cop."
===
The party is approached by a fairy dragon that asks for our help freeing it's friends from the minions of a spider monster that have captured them and are slowly eating them. The fairy dragon is also a bit creepy in the way that it overtly flirts with Ketthan and Kohein (mostly Ketthan). Despite the creepiness we agree to help if only because the problem seems like something that shouldn't be left unchecked in general. Verity suddenly says she has something urgent and runs away right before we get to our destination. As we assault the humanoid spider monsters around various large webs full of small fey and various forest creatures, an old man with a long gray beard in robes and a tall pointy hat arrives on the scene. Conveniently, Verity's player image in Roll20 is now replaced with a matching image and the name "Gospel Glosswood" and the player is now doing an old geezer voice (to be fair she's pretty good at voices).
Gospel: "Is that a frog?"
Perri: "There are a lot of things stuck in these webs. I'm pretty sure there's a bear up there in that one."
===
Kohein takes some nasty hits...
DM: "That's ten piercing damage and ten poison damage."
Kohein: "Ouch, that takes me down to ten hit points."
DM: "And you need to make a DC ten Constitution save."
Perri: "Would you say this is becoming a tense situation?"
===
DM: "Okay, now this spider guy is having a very bad day all of the sudden. It had started out so well, because he had a date with Sharon later and he heard that she goes to second base on the first date."
Kohein: "What's second base for spiders?"
Perri: "I think they spit webs at each other."
Kohein: "I would think that would be first base?"
Perri: "What? You can't just skip straight to web spitting!"
===
Gospel getting involved directly...
Gospel: "I take out this big shiny orb and chuck it at that guy."
A missed attack whizzes past Perri
Perri: "Kindly control your balls, good sir!"
Gospel: "I only have the one, grasshopper!"
===
After just about everybody nearly dies with Ketthan going down twice and Kohein spending half the fight at 1 HP, we manage to kill the spider goons.
Perri: "Did we win?"
Kohein: "Technically, though we did still get our asses kicked."
Perri: "I'll take it."
Gospel: "Well, I have to go. You grasshoppers be careful, now, you hear!"
===
We free a bunch of the fey/forest critters and go to scout the cave with the queen spider's lair inside before returning to where Vermina and Tenoch are waiting with the fairy dragon and his friends.
Vermina: "Hurry up, the weasels are winking at me!"
Kohein: "We'll try to be back soon. Just keep an eye on them and, uh, cross your legs or something."
Vermina: "Haha, very funny." *crosses legs*
===
Verity suddenly appears out of the underbrush...
Verity: "Hi guys, what's up?"
Perri: "Where did you come from?"
Verity: "Just over that way. I passed some weird old man that called me a grasshopper?"
===
Discussing the spider creatures and possibly luring them out of the cave...
Kohein: "Apparently they like to eat fairies. I wonder if the glittery stuff tastes like sprinkles."
Verity: "What does a fairy in pain sound like?"
Fairy Dragon: "You're a sadistic *****!"
Asking the fairy dragon for more help (even though he's still very demanding while we're helping him and his friends)...
Fairy Dragon: "Maybe I could if someone asks me real nice!"
Ketthan: "Okay, uh, do that please."
Fairy DRagon: "Ooh, I will do it if it's an order."
Ketthan: "Huh?"
Fairy Dragon: "Say it harder!"
Perri: "Little Sir [her pseudodragon familiar], you're a fey creature, too, right?"
DM: "Little Sir just looks at you and you hear his voice in your head saying 'I am not related to that thing.'"
===
The fairy dragon accompanies us then promptly goes invisible when we run into more spider minions. Kohein rolls a nat 1 on a longbow attack...
DM: "Suddenly the fairy dragon appears in midair with an arrow sticking out of him."
Fairy Dragon: "What the hell are you doing?!?" *spits rainbow blood and flies away* "You all suck! F--- you and f--- your---"
Perri: "Geez, Koko, I know he was annoying but you didn't have to shoot him!"
===
Again, the fight doesn't go well and by the time we kill the goons Ketthan and Verity are down.
Kohein: "I'll pick up Ketthan since I'm pretty sure he's heavier."
Perri: "We have the same strength score."
Kohein: "I'm trying to be nice."
Perri: "Okay, I didn't want to carry him anyway."
===
We retreat and camp for the night. Perri and Vermina are having another excited gossipy wild theory session about the other party members.
Perri: "...but I think the one most likely to punch a dad is Verity."
===
Rested and returning to the cave lair, we manage to more easily dispatch some spider-oid minions and get to a lair filled with human sized cocoon-like sacks. Kohein pokes one with his rapier and it starts wriggling.
Verity: "Should we try fire?"
Perri: "I can do fire."
Kohein: "Do fire!"
Perri: "I do fire."
Kohein pokes a second cocoon and gets a human sounding scream. We start to cut away the outer layers and reveal a woman with the features on one side of her face replaced with the mandibles and multiple eyes of a large spider.
Kohein: "I stab her in the head and shout 'Burn it! Burn them all! Burn now!'"
It twas only twig blights. May their souls rest in peace.
Join the Town of Agreal! ----> LINK
Check out my photography on Flickr. ----> LINK
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
droc krow: I walk over to galax and try to do a seduce check
dm: what
me: i punch him in the balls
the biggest screwup since the screw was invented
*rolls 1 on Stealth (DEX) with DEX -1*
"I cover my eyes thinking that they can't see me if I can't see them."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
LOL
the biggest screwup since the screw was invented
NPC: "I'm a Svirfneblin."
Me: "Oh! You're a Deep Gnome!"
NPC: "I prefer Svirfneblin."
Me: "I really need you to meet me halfway on this because I am absolutely going to butcher that word."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"I'm really good at initiative!" *rolls nat 1*
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Yeah, the initiative to slack off. Lol.
"What if he's like Papyrus"
enter combat
"NO NO, HE'S NOT PAPYRUS!"
a hobbit of the tolkeinite cult
a frequenter of taverns
mainly an Emerald half-dragon with a psudodragon pet
haven't been on because mobile sucks and wifi sucks
Self-proclaimed Non-Binary Diety of bad writing and Lizardfolk Monks
"Congratulations, you seduced a door."
"Either hades sneezed..... or we all died in our sleep"
More likely than not, both.
Looking for a campaign? Or, perhaps, trying to start one? Come join Rolegate! Just send me a friend request (same name as here) and I'll help you get started!
Ducks are just geese lite. Focus on the future. It'll become the past soon enough.
Istari and White Counsel in Club. Not the wish-granter of a thread.
Become a Plague Doctor today!
Join the Knights of the Random Table and Calius and Kothar Industries!
Homebrew: Artifact, Dungeon
May be offline due to school