Dragonborn Rogue: "Does anyone here have a bow?" Fighter #1: "I have handaxes I can throw..." Dragonborn Rogue: "Not over a hundred meters." Fighter #1 (OOC): "...you don't know what my strength score is."
(The fighter did not successfully clear the distance.)
Fighter #1 (OOC): "I throw my handaxe into the crowd!" DM: "Make an attack roll. You get advantage because there are so many guards." Fighter #1 (OOC): "I can't decide if that's good or bad."
DM: "...you seriously killed all 1000 guards that were invading the city and are now paralyzed?" Rogue/Fighter/Sorcerer (OOC): "Yep." Fighter/Sorcerer (formerly Fighter #1) (OOC): "It took a few days. The commoners started to wonder what was going on."
GM: “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…go ahead and try to make a Insight check against the Lord of Lies.”
Player: ”…holy! Natural 20!”
(GM seems to think for a moment)
GM: ”You look deep into Asmodeus’s piercing, unblinking, and unfathomably cruel gaze…and for a moment; you catch SOMETHING. It’s like looking straight into a solar eclipse…except the blackness is cold & endless; and the burning rings around the void that are his pupils scald your very soul. But everything lines up in that instant of scrutiny…you detect contemplation. Interest…in YOU.”
”…and you fall to the ground, prone, as you’re mind is wracked by the howls of millions of damned souls. You are frightened, and cannot speak coherently; as this choir of madness causes you to writhe on the ground uncontrollably.”
Another Player: “But he SUCCEEDED!”
GM: “Yeah…and he caught a brief glimpse of Asmodeus’s true nature. And he’s not dead.”
Other Player: “Okay…is he going to be alright?”
(in character as Asmodeus)
“Ah, he’ll be fine…he just saw something he wasn’t meant to. Like accidentally walking in on mommy & daddy. Nothing some therapy won’t fix.”
GM: “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…go ahead and try to make a Insight check against the Lord of Lies.”
Player: ”…holy! Natural 20!”
(GM seems to think for a moment)
GM: ”You look deep into Asmodeus’s piercing, unblinking, and unfathomably cruel gaze…and for a moment; you catch SOMETHING. It’s like looking straight into a solar eclipse…except the blackness is cold & endless; and the burning rings around the void that are his pupils scald your very soul. But everything lines up in that instant of scrutiny…you detect contemplation. Interest…in YOU.”
”…and you fall to the ground, prone, as you’re mind is wracked by the howls of millions of damned souls. You are frightened, and cannot speak coherently; as this choir of madness causes you to writhe on the ground uncontrollably.”
Another Player: “But he SUCCEEDED!”
GM: “Yeah…and he caught a brief glimpse of Asmodeus’s true nature. And he’s not dead.”
Other Player: “Okay…is he going to be alright?”
(in character as Asmodeus)
“Ah, he’ll be fine…he just saw something he wasn’t meant to. Like accidentally walking in on mommy & daddy. Nothing some therapy won’t fix.”
(character starts foaming at the mouth)
Asmodeus: Welp, time to get the infernal janitor and medic...
DM: "So, what do you want?" Player 2: "What we want is the horde to stop terrorizing the town every fortnight, for you to resurrect our follower, and enough gold to upgrade all our gear." DM: She's a tavern server. She's asking what you want to order.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
For context A elf fighter carrying a battle-axe walks up to a half orc both are players
"Thats a big ax for a small man" they get in to a fight and the elf gets non permanently blinded and becomes deaf for a short time
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You can find me on forum games almost any day. Thanks to Drummer_The_Dragon_Slayer, I make things that should not exist. I also play as a Dragonborn monk.
Beware! I am Master of the Staff, fear me with passion!
I'm back from the dead! For now.
I'm going to befriend a crow. No-one will stop me.
RP wise I don't really have much time on my hands so I'll try.
“So when do we get statues of ourselves in town square?”
-sorcerer after helping save a city
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Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
Reminds me of a group I watch who returned to a town where they had committed violence only to find their antics turned into a festival.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
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Dragonborn Rogue: "Does anyone here have a bow?"
Fighter #1: "I have handaxes I can throw..."
Dragonborn Rogue: "Not over a hundred meters."
Fighter #1 (OOC): "...you don't know what my strength score is."
(The fighter did not successfully clear the distance.)
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
I don't remember if I already shared this.
Me teaching a new player how to make a character
Me: Alright the first thing you have to do is pick a race
New Player: I'll be caucasian
Black Lives Matter
Count as high as you can before Nikoli_Goodfellow Posts!
Extended Signature, The Best Paradox, We all knew it.
I participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with several champions they are all in my extended signature Win Streak: 0 Total Wins: 19 Total Loses: 6
Fighter #1 (OOC): "I throw my handaxe into the crowd!"
DM: "Make an attack roll. You get advantage because there are so many guards."
Fighter #1 (OOC): "I can't decide if that's good or bad."
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
DM: "...you seriously killed all 1000 guards that were invading the city and are now paralyzed?"
Rogue/Fighter/Sorcerer (OOC): "Yep."
Fighter/Sorcerer (formerly Fighter #1) (OOC): "It took a few days. The commoners started to wonder what was going on."
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
GM: “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…go ahead and try to make a Insight check against the Lord of Lies.”
Player: ”…holy! Natural 20!”
(GM seems to think for a moment)
GM: ”You look deep into Asmodeus’s piercing, unblinking, and unfathomably cruel gaze…and for a moment; you catch SOMETHING. It’s like looking straight into a solar eclipse…except the blackness is cold & endless; and the burning rings around the void that are his pupils scald your very soul. But everything lines up in that instant of scrutiny…you detect contemplation. Interest…in YOU.”
”…and you fall to the ground, prone, as you’re mind is wracked by the howls of millions of damned souls. You are frightened, and cannot speak coherently; as this choir of madness causes you to writhe on the ground uncontrollably.”
Another Player: “But he SUCCEEDED!”
GM: “Yeah…and he caught a brief glimpse of Asmodeus’s true nature. And he’s not dead.”
Other Player: “Okay…is he going to be alright?”
(in character as Asmodeus)
“Ah, he’ll be fine…he just saw something he wasn’t meant to. Like accidentally walking in on mommy & daddy. Nothing some therapy won’t fix.”
(character starts foaming at the mouth)
When trying to say: we are the knights of the round table
I somehow said:we are the knights of the wrong table
the biggest screwup since the screw was invented
Asmodeus: Welp, time to get the infernal janitor and medic...
“IT’S IN THE WALLS…!!”
(party starts ripping the building apart)
Ah.... nothing like party paranoia
DM: "So, what do you want?"
Player 2: "What we want is the horde to stop terrorizing the town every fortnight, for you to resurrect our follower, and enough gold to upgrade all our gear."
DM: She's a tavern server. She's asking what you want to order.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"So my father was a bard..."
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
My kobold disease master: "I'm gonna do a maneuver I like to call 'controlled burn...ing phlegm filling lungs.' It's a very humane treatment."
The DM (okayed the class but has regretted it ever since we started): "Fair."
Shadow Monk (player almost chose Mercy): "How is that humane?!"
Druid: "It's fine. At least compared to what else he's done so far. Remember the troll?"
Monk: "I thought we said we wouldn't talk about that!"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
What happened to the troll? I need background knowledge
Yeah, here's the thing: trolls have regeneration. The disease I used against it was supposed to basically melt it.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
"I use my Hippo thiccness to bounce down the chasm wall"
For context A elf fighter carrying a battle-axe walks up to a half orc both are players
"Thats a big ax for a small man" they get in to a fight and the elf gets non permanently blinded and becomes deaf for a short time
You can find me on forum games almost any day. Thanks to Drummer_The_Dragon_Slayer, I make things that should not exist. I also play as a Dragonborn monk.
Beware! I am Master of the Staff, fear me with passion!
I'm back from the dead! For now.
I'm going to befriend a crow. No-one will stop me.
RP wise I don't really have much time on my hands so I'll try.
Happy 2024!
For context: Gnome barbarian with a greataxe twice his size.
"You see a midget with a huge battleaxe join you in the fight."
"Is he even able to wield that axe?"
"He is JACKED, so yes."
Join the Town of Agreal! ----> LINK
Check out my photography on Flickr. ----> LINK
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
Warlock (having cast Darkvision on himself), after the party Cleric right next to him cast Daylight:
"My EYES! My retinas! Seared, like tuna steaks! Oh god, it burns!"
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
“So when do we get statues of ourselves in town square?”
-sorcerer after helping save a city
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
Reminds me of a group I watch who returned to a town where they had committed violence only to find their antics turned into a festival.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.