It was great. We are playing remotely, so I am sharing a scan of the map of the cavern they are in, with areas blacked out until they advance. I have small images of the creatures they are facing and I move them and the PC images around on the map. Had to go get an image of a goat...
Now I just wonder if I give them XP for a duergar AND a goat killed...
*Context: This happened during the fight between the party and a one-shot antagonist. The antagonist of this one-shot was also a bard. This naturally led to a bard-off.*
BBEG: "You wanna try your hand at doin' this faster?"
Bard: "Shut up, sit down, and learn from the master!"
BBEG: "You'd do better as a weather forecaster!"
Bard: "Well I predict- YOU'RE A DISASTER!"
Rest of the Party: *howling with laughter and cheering*
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Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
DM: I just want to let you all know that, after today's session, I'm going to take the rest of the month off from DMing, so be sure to plan accordingly. But I'll be ready to go again next month.
Player1: [Turns to her husband, Player2] In case you didn't catch what he is saying, today is the last day of the month.
Player2: Yes, I caught that, thanks.
Player3: I didn't catch that, so I'm glad you said something.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
”We don’t have gendered pronouns in my language, but I’ll use them for you common-speakers. He can’t breathe*
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I'm fry, and I make doodles. That's why they call me FRY DOODLES. Also no pressure but check out my YouTube channel (Fry Doodles) I'm a disabled, neurodivergent, artsy dumpster fire who's always open to chat. I'm a sensitive little sad bean, and somewhat of a clown. But, I'm also god's favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. Crafter of Constellations, vocaloid enjoyer, waluigi’s #1 fan, space alien, princess-of-quite-a-lot, and certified silly goose
The party was on an airship sailing, above the clouds to reach the nest of a Storm Dragon so they could stop the egg inside from hatching: When a Storm Dragon egg hatches, the result is a devastating cyclone that levels the land beneath. My friend's character, an Artificer, was dangling a cage with bait inside on a long string, which he held onto by tying the string to the end of a 10-foot pole.
Barbarian, who just now saw this: "What are you doing?"
Artificer: "You've heard of fishing, yeah? I am birding!"
Me, a flesh-eating dhampir barbarian at low HP: So, you're saying your character is stable, at zero hit points, and I have a greater healing potion in my inventory?
Goliath Barbarian: Yeah. Are you going to get me up?
Me: What I'm about to do breaks every convention ever made. I explain to the group that my healing rituals require utmost privacy and drag the goliath barbarian into the woods, drooling slightly.
Tiefling Warlock: I make an insight check to see through this BS.
Tiefling Warlock: I fail. Nat 1.
Me: (stereotypical french laugh)
Shortly afterwards:
DM to Barbarian: You wake up next to a fire alone with the known cannibal of the party. How do you react?
Barb: Hey, I'm feeling some phantom pains in my throat. Did you do something to me?
Me: You're not injured, are you?
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Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
"this is surprisingly the first time i have hidden a body" (we were cleaning up after a fight so we could leave and attempt to come back the next day to explore some more.)
"you wanna buy this vial of hydra blood?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
"I will throw my dagger at that random dude and steal his gun!" "He is the quest giver, you cant do that!" "Fine. Ill kill him once he has no more quests."
(Bard floats the idea of challenging Asmodeus to a music battle)
Asmodeus: (takes out a very stylish lute) “Well, I guess you didn't know it but I'm a guitar player too…”
(cue the entire table cutting into a rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”)
…coincidentally; Nickelback apparently has a SICK cover of that song; which got played that very same session.
Judging from that song, I assume the bard won.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Asmodeus was superior beyond comprehension. XD
The bard played their heart out, though; and was good enough that the Lord of the Nine is now “referring” them to one of the Archdevils as a permanent performer for their amusement.
Glasya is currently a front-runner.
”My daughter would ADORE you…she’s in her “paladin” phase these days; but I think we could tempt her! Her current minstrel could use a vacation…worked their fingers down to the bone, ha ha.”
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This happened just recently...
Duergar charges towards party member.
Wizard: "I cast polymorph and change it into a goat"
DM rolls saving throw, duergar fails: "You see a goat charging towards you furiously, bleating angrily!"
Rogue: "Stabbing it" Hits, rolls damage, doing 12 points to a 4HP goat.
DM: "It drops <gets interrupted by cheers from the party> but transforms back into a duergar, lying at your feet, still very much alive..."
Party: "Oh, crap...."
Wizard, rereading spell: "Well, sorry guys..."
Remember, always read the descriptions of your spells before you cast them.
On the plus side, you did stop the duergar from charging.
It was great. We are playing remotely, so I am sharing a scan of the map of the cavern they are in, with areas blacked out until they advance. I have small images of the creatures they are facing and I move them and the PC images around on the map. Had to go get an image of a goat...
Now I just wonder if I give them XP for a duergar AND a goat killed...
*Context: This happened during the fight between the party and a one-shot antagonist. The antagonist of this one-shot was also a bard. This naturally led to a bard-off.*
BBEG: "You wanna try your hand at doin' this faster?"
Bard: "Shut up, sit down, and learn from the master!"
BBEG: "You'd do better as a weather forecaster!"
Bard: "Well I predict- YOU'RE A DISASTER!"
Rest of the Party: *howling with laughter and cheering*
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Did the winner get a trophy made of plaster? And the loser drank oil made out of castor?
Right before our weekly D&D session...
DM: I just want to let you all know that, after today's session, I'm going to take the rest of the month off from DMing, so be sure to plan accordingly. But I'll be ready to go again next month.
Player1: [Turns to her husband, Player2] In case you didn't catch what he is saying, today is the last day of the month.
Player2: Yes, I caught that, thanks.
Player3: I didn't catch that, so I'm glad you said something.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
"He always carried dead bodies in a bag, now he is the dead body in a bag"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
I must know about the bread incident
My selkie said
”We don’t have gendered pronouns in my language, but I’ll use them for you common-speakers. He can’t breathe*
I'm fry, and I make doodles. That's why they call me FRY DOODLES. Also no pressure but check out my YouTube channel (Fry Doodles)
I'm a disabled, neurodivergent, artsy dumpster fire who's always open to chat.
I'm a sensitive little sad bean, and somewhat of a clown. But, I'm also god's favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world.
Crafter of Constellations, vocaloid enjoyer, waluigi’s #1 fan, space alien, princess-of-quite-a-lot, and certified silly goose
Bard: "So, newcomer, what's your skillset?"
Necromancer: "I- I bestow life-giving magic!"
Bard: "Great! We've been looking for a healer!"
Necromancer: "You'll be on your feet again in no time."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Ha!
Now THAT’S a good one!
This isn't from me, but one of my friends.
The party was on an airship sailing, above the clouds to reach the nest of a Storm Dragon so they could stop the egg inside from hatching: When a Storm Dragon egg hatches, the result is a devastating cyclone that levels the land beneath. My friend's character, an Artificer, was dangling a cage with bait inside on a long string, which he held onto by tying the string to the end of a 10-foot pole.
Barbarian, who just now saw this: "What are you doing?"
Artificer: "You've heard of fishing, yeah? I am birding!"
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Me, a flesh-eating dhampir barbarian at low HP: So, you're saying your character is stable, at zero hit points, and I have a greater healing potion in my inventory?
Goliath Barbarian: Yeah. Are you going to get me up?
Me: What I'm about to do breaks every convention ever made. I explain to the group that my healing rituals require utmost privacy and drag the goliath barbarian into the woods, drooling slightly.
Tiefling Warlock: I make an insight check to see through this BS.
Tiefling Warlock: I fail. Nat 1.
Me: (stereotypical french laugh)
Shortly afterwards:
DM to Barbarian: You wake up next to a fire alone with the known cannibal of the party. How do you react?
Barb: Hey, I'm feeling some phantom pains in my throat. Did you do something to me?
Me: You're not injured, are you?
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
May each word that I speak be backed by each of my teeth.
"Can I set it on fire" "Do you really want to?" "Yes." "Okay, ro-" "Wait no, can I not set it on fire?"-Me and my DM every session.
(Bard floats the idea of challenging Asmodeus to a music battle)
Asmodeus: (takes out a very stylish lute) “Well, I guess you didn't know it but I'm a guitar player too…”
(cue the entire table cutting into a rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”)
…coincidentally; Nickelback apparently has a SICK cover of that song; which got played that very same session.
"this is surprisingly the first time i have hidden a body" (we were cleaning up after a fight so we could leave and attempt to come back the next day to explore some more.)
"you wanna buy this vial of hydra blood?"
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
"The trees are unionizing."
"Hey, big guy! EAT BEES!" *casts Insect Plague inside the dragon's roaring mouth*
"...and that's how one absolutely evil Druid killed two nobles and an owlbear with a BLT."
"Hello!" *casts Enlarge on self, and then activates Giant's Might from Rune Knight. "Goodbye!"
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
"I will throw my dagger at that random dude and steal his gun!" "He is the quest giver, you cant do that!" "Fine. Ill kill him once he has no more quests."
Judging from that song, I assume the bard won.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Asmodeus was superior beyond comprehension. XD
The bard played their heart out, though; and was good enough that the Lord of the Nine is now “referring” them to one of the Archdevils as a permanent performer for their amusement.
Glasya is currently a front-runner.
”My daughter would ADORE you…she’s in her “paladin” phase these days; but I think we could tempt her! Her current minstrel could use a vacation…worked their fingers down to the bone, ha ha.”