(The ranger's player is switching characters and the ranger is saying goodbye to the sorceress)
Ranger: I'm going home to my parents' house.
Sorceress: I thought you killed them?
Ranger: *Punches the sorceress in the arm* Bye, (calls her an "A--hole" in infernal)
Sorceress: Bye, (calls ranger a "f---ing b----" in celestial)
(Later on, when the new character is about to meet the party)
DM: Warlock, you hear a large animal crashing through the undergrowth.
Warlock(OOC): I set up a hunting trap in the path and hide.
DM: Sorceress, you notice Bebe Bubette stops for a moment, looks around confused, and keeps walking. Warlock, a full grown bulette has stepped on your hunting trap and crushed it.
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
Group arrives at the tavern after the Barbarian already went there. Sorcerer: "We met my nemesis after you left." Barbarian: "That's funny. The DM just let me leave." Artificer: "What's a DM?" Barbarian: "Uh... I dunno. I'm just talking nonsense. I'm drunk."
Barbarian: "I have +2 Charisma." NPC Firbolg: "I have no idea what that means."
Sorcerer: "I leveled up while I was away." Artificer: "I don't know what that means." Sorcerer: "I mean, I got stronger and better at magic." Artificer: "Okay. That I understand." (Trivia: The sorcerer in the campaign is fully aware of the metagame as part of the character quirks.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot." Morag Blood-Fist to Asmoedeus after a deal proposal.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
[You probably won't get this if you're not from the UK.]
"Hurrah! We have saved Middlesborough form the dragon!"
Hey, you’re right, I’m American and have no idea what you mean
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
my friend, who plays as goofy from mickey mouse said "So... who can we kill?'
My response "Depends"
Goofy "can we burn the other town on the map and raid the orphanage for human flesh so we won't get hungry?"
Me "Sure?"
My other friend who was a rouge "This sounds like fun." he then tells me that he wants to drink all the ale that they just stole.
later at the town:
Goofy "I kill the adults first so everyone's an orphan then kill the rest."
The rouge "I'll steal some ale and burn the town."
Me "You... Do that... I guess."
my friend who is a fighter "I'll steal the kneecaps for my collection."
Me "ok?"
ROuge and goofy "done"
fighter "I'll rob the bank."
me "the rouge just burned it."
fighter "oh... I guess I'll just gnaw on this kneecap."
So everyone is a murderhobo?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
Group Patron:*opens a portal to the elemental plane of fire on accident*
Rogue OOC : I jump through the portal
Group Patron: Welp they're done for
Wizard: I know absorb elements that might help
Fighter: I dive in after them
Group Patron: You are all very intelligent (said sarcastically)
meanwhile the fighter and rogue landed in the furnaces of creation
Rogue: Oh look bronze fire dudes
Fighter: I want to punch them in the face
Dm: You take some fire damage and they (Azers) say "You filthy fleshlings go back to your plane or I'll throw you down into the crystal caverns on the plane of elemental earth you numbskull"
Group Patron:*opens a portal to the elemental plane of fire on accident*
Rogue OOC : I jump through the portal
Group Patron: Welp they're done for
Wizard: I know absorb elements that might help
Fighter: I dive in after them
Group Patron: You are all very intelligent (said sarcastically)
meanwhile the fighter and rogue landed in the furnaces of creation
Rogue: Oh look bronze fire dudes
Fighter: I want to punch them in the face
Dm: You take some fire damage and they (Azers) say "You filthy fleshlings go back to your plane or I'll throw you down into the crystal caverns on the plane of elemental earth you numbskull"
Dm: Take 6d4 psychic damage
Did they get thrown into the Crystal Caverns?
no the wizard bailed them out though they made sure to steer clear of those guys for a while
Doing Princes of the Apocolypse, and Yusef our barbarian yells out running into a room full of minotaurs "free hand jobs for all minotaurs!"
One of the Rangers touched a crystal which turned them into slime/jelly creature for one hour. When asked what the other members would do, the druid says "yes, I'll touch that and see what happens" he then turns into a slime/jelly creature for one hour.
Not being the smartest, Yusef barbarian thinks (out loud as he's RPíng this) "oh, that looks fun" and also touches the crystal. What happened? He also turned into a slime/jelly creature for one hour.
The remaining ranger, tried cutting them in two, and then shepherded them through the caves.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Hilda (Human Cleric): Yeah, yeah... keep your f***ing pants on.
The next session:
Town Guard to Hilda: Your friend there is under investigation for the murder of [NPC name here]. He is to remain on these premises until further notice. In addition, you are reminded that due to repeated noise complaints in regards to your establishment, among other things, you are expected to pay compensations to the complainants mentioned in the letter you have been provided.
Strum (Kenku Bard): Yeah, yeah... keep your f***ing pants on. (In Hilda's voice)
*Hilda spends the next 10 minutes talking her way out of trouble.*
Oh yeah, that was good times. Everyone got a good laugh and Hilda's player (hopefully) learned to watch what they say in front of my Kenku. >:3
The fierce Barbarian King and his Queen are arguing while she's sprawled in scant clothing across an animal skin rug at his feet.
Queen: "It's what the people expect of a Barbarian King." King: "It's demeaning! You should be by my side as an equal!" Queen: "I think I look nice."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Abberant Mind Sorcerer (Eris): I cast detect thoughts on the footman. DM: His mind is curiously blank of thoughts and emotions, like they are smothered by some great weight pressing down on him. Eris (OOC): Maybe we should use dispel magic. Me (OOC): No, he's obviously a thrall of [nobles who's house we are at]. Eris (OOC): Dispel the charm effect on him is what I was suggesting. Eris (OOC): And then we could turn him into our own thrall...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Abberant Mind Sorcerer (Eris): I cast detect thoughts on the footman. DM: His mind is curiously blank of thoughts and emotions, like they are smothered by some great weight pressing down on him. Eris (OOC): Maybe we should use dispel magic. Me (OOC): No, he's obviously a thrall of [nobles who's house we are at]. Eris (OOC): Dispel the charm effect on him is what I was suggesting. Eris (OOC): And then we could turn him into our own thrall...
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Queen: These nine giants are killing children ever day!
Wizard 1: I DO THAT TO
Queen: This is not the time to joke around we mu-
Ranger: Oh no its true she eats children a lot its true
Wizard 2 ( Me ): We've lived with her for 10 years on not so private drive and we always see her running into her house with screaming kids.
KNIGHT OF RANDOM
Halike Morgad the Dhampir fist of arlo
Sir strange one of the centaurs
Villagers: You killed the dragon! [The dragon actually died of a heart attack.]
Cleric: Did we? Oh yes. [They ran away from the dragon before a fight could start.]
Bard: Yeah! It was my bagpipes!
Villagers: Your bagpipes? Anyway, how can we reward you?
[Player playing the cleric goes away for a minute.]
Bard: Free alcohol at the pub for life!
Villagers: [After whispered conversation] Very well, o dragonslayers.
[Cleric comes back.]
Player of cleric (OoC): You said what?!
Me (DM - OoC): Well, it was the end of the campaign so I thought I'd kill off the bard.
The campaign ends with the bard being banned from the pub for life and dying later that night from overdrinking. The cleric refused to help him.
Chilling kinda vibe.
(The ranger's player is switching characters and the ranger is saying goodbye to the sorceress)
Ranger: I'm going home to my parents' house.
Sorceress: I thought you killed them?
Ranger: *Punches the sorceress in the arm* Bye, (calls her an "A--hole" in infernal)
Sorceress: Bye, (calls ranger a "f---ing b----" in celestial)
(Later on, when the new character is about to meet the party)
DM: Warlock, you hear a large animal crashing through the undergrowth.
Warlock(OOC): I set up a hunting trap in the path and hide.
DM: Sorceress, you notice Bebe Bubette stops for a moment, looks around confused, and keeps walking. Warlock, a full grown bulette has stepped on your hunting trap and crushed it.
Warlock: "F-CK!"
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
bard: i am tired and his name is now lemon
me(ooc): that line
sorcerer(ooc): yes lime
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
When IC and Metagaming collide:
Group arrives at the tavern after the Barbarian already went there.
Sorcerer: "We met my nemesis after you left."
Barbarian: "That's funny. The DM just let me leave."
Artificer: "What's a DM?"
Barbarian: "Uh... I dunno. I'm just talking nonsense. I'm drunk."
Barbarian: "I have +2 Charisma."
NPC Firbolg: "I have no idea what that means."
Sorcerer: "I leveled up while I was away."
Artificer: "I don't know what that means."
Sorcerer: "I mean, I got stronger and better at magic."
Artificer: "Okay. That I understand."
(Trivia: The sorcerer in the campaign is fully aware of the metagame as part of the character quirks.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot." Morag Blood-Fist to Asmoedeus after a deal proposal.
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Hey, you’re right, I’m American and have no idea what you mean
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
group patron:*opens a portal to the elemental plane of fire on accident*
rogue ooc :i jump through the portal
group patron:welp their done for
wizard:i know absorb elements that might help
fighter:i dive in after them
group patron:you are all very intelligent (said sarcastically)
meanwhile the fighter and rogue landed in the furnaces of creation
rogue:Ohh look bronze fire dudes
fighter:i want to punch them in the face
dm:you take some fire damage and they say
azer:you filthy fleshling go back to your plane or ill throw down into the crystal caverns in the plane of elemental earth you numbskull
dm:take 6d4 psychic damage
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
So everyone is a murderhobo?
All hail the great and mighty platypus.
Resisting is simply standing in front of the tide and pushing at it. Even if you endure at first, you will eventually break down. Adapting, by contrast, is turning into a fish.
-me
Rangers are not underpowered. They’re just exploration-oriented.
My homebrew setting: https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/d-d-beyond-general/story-lore/94809-wakai-a-setting-inspired-by-japanese-folklore-and
This account is kinda old and I haven’t used it in a while
Did they get thrown into the Crystal Caverns?
: Systems Online : Nikoli_Goodfellow Homebrew : My WIP Homebrew Class :
(\_/)
( u u)
o/ \🥛🍪 Hey, take care of yourself alright?
no the wizard bailed them out though they made sure to steer clear of those guys for a while
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
Doing Princes of the Apocolypse, and Yusef our barbarian yells out running into a room full of minotaurs "free hand jobs for all minotaurs!"
One of the Rangers touched a crystal which turned them into slime/jelly creature for one hour. When asked what the other members would do, the druid says "yes, I'll touch that and see what happens" he then turns into a slime/jelly creature for one hour.
Not being the smartest, Yusef barbarian thinks (out loud as he's RPíng this) "oh, that looks fun" and also touches the crystal. What happened? He also turned into a slime/jelly creature for one hour.
The remaining ranger, tried cutting them in two, and then shepherded them through the caves.
Odo Proudfoot - Lvl 10 Halfling Monk - Princes of the Apocalypse (Campaign Finished)
Orryn Pebblefoot - Lvl 5 Rock Gnome Wizard (Deceased) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist (Deceased)
Anerin Ap Tewdr - Lvl 5 Human (Variant) Bard (College of Valor) - Waterdeep: Dragon Heist
DM: “You can interrogate the prisoner if you’d like.”
Hexblade Warlock: “I want to break a wooden chair to intimidate him (smashes chair).”
DM: “He’s pretty intimidated.”
Hexblade Warlock: “Now I want to sit in a chair right in front of his cell.”
DM: “He’s somehow even more intimidated than before.”
Hexblade Warlock: “TELL ME EVERYTHING!”
Prisoner: “GAH!”
Hexblade Warlock: “I smash the chair against the bars.”
DM: “Alright.”
Prisoner: “Please stop...!”
Sorcerer: “Huh. Must be a carpenter. Woodcarver...some kind of chair lover.”
Ralgar (Dwarf Fighter): Come on, Hilda, hurry up!
Hilda (Human Cleric): Yeah, yeah... keep your f***ing pants on.
The next session:
Town Guard to Hilda: Your friend there is under investigation for the murder of [NPC name here]. He is to remain on these premises until further notice. In addition, you are reminded that due to repeated noise complaints in regards to your establishment, among other things, you are expected to pay compensations to the complainants mentioned in the letter you have been provided.
Strum (Kenku Bard): Yeah, yeah... keep your f***ing pants on. (In Hilda's voice)
*Hilda spends the next 10 minutes talking her way out of trouble.*
Oh yeah, that was good times. Everyone got a good laugh and Hilda's player (hopefully) learned to watch what they say in front of my Kenku. >:3
From a skit:
The fierce Barbarian King and his Queen are arguing while she's sprawled in scant clothing across an animal skin rug at his feet.
Queen: "It's what the people expect of a Barbarian King."
King: "It's demeaning! You should be by my side as an equal!"
Queen: "I think I look nice."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
In a PBP (paraphrased):
Abberant Mind Sorcerer (Eris): I cast detect thoughts on the footman.
DM: His mind is curiously blank of thoughts and emotions, like they are smothered by some great weight pressing down on him.
Eris (OOC): Maybe we should use dispel magic.
Me (OOC): No, he's obviously a thrall of [nobles who's house we are at].
Eris (OOC): Dispel the charm effect on him is what I was suggesting.
Eris (OOC): And then we could turn him into our own thrall...
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Eris was me.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
"No, you cannot stay with the griffins for 24 hours to learn to summon them with find steed, buy them like everyone else did."
"Leave, or the dwarf dies." "Okay."
The fire giants made a gundam wheeeeee
"I think she's a he."
"DON'T CARE. I fight winner, she lost."
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
wizard with magic item that lets them change spells a bit: i cast tireball
dm:do tires even exist
wizard: i will peer through the fabric of space time if i need too in order to bombard my foes with tires
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here